Mollisk: Here's this idiocy chapter, I hope you enjoy it if you were looking forward to it. No worries about the Julia/James romance, I've got you covered. I promise things will turn out alright.
Nikelodean: You never know what I might decide to do to poor Julia...:P I'm so glad you're enjoying this so far; I'm having a great time with it! Too great a time, as I'm sure you'll agree after you read this. It was a long shot, but I tried it anyway...
Jeevesandwooster: Thanks for the suggestion! I can't think of the most obvious things. Of COURSE Julia needs to ask him for information about House...after she figures out HE knows. I'm not sure how I'm going to get that to play out, but soon we should be getting some answers...Erg, this is so complicated! Thanks for reading, the compliments and helpful hints are making this so much more pleasant for me!
The Lilac Elf of Lothlorien: Muahahaha, Chase/Julia is a possibility. You never know...there's still time, people, get in your votes now!
Irock708: This chapter is supposed to be mostly hysterical. I thought it was when I read it over, but some people might not agree. Let me know what you think!
Amber Chase: Glad you enjoyed it, here's Chapter Seven for you! Chapter Eight's coming soon...maybe not tomorrow, even though I've been updating everyday...sometimes twice a day. What can I say, summer's boring. But definitely in a couple days, at the most. Thanks for hanging in there with me!
Samanthaon: Wilson/Julia is still in the running for most desired romance in my story! I personally like the best myself, but it doesn't score as many points for realism and workability. We shall see, my friend, we shall see. Thanks for reading!
Sincerely Juicy: Aggghhhh, this chapter is so dumb! At least the beginning is, the end might be significant. Like I've said SO many times, I let my imagination and random sense of humor run away with me...real life experience here, it made me laugh, so I thought I'd work it into the story somehow. Kind of a tribute to a friend. Anyways, I hope this doesn't scare you away from reading!
So as you all probably guessed, this chapter starts off hilariously (or maybe not, in your opinion, I don't know), but the end is kind of important. Anywho, enjoy this; it's meant to make you laugh. This is a real-life experience, and I enjoyed it, so I thought you might too. FEEDBACK ON THIS CHAPTER WOULD BE APPRECIATED TIMES A MILLION! As usual. :P Thanks for stopping by!
"Cameron, I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Chase grumbled, swiping angrily at his hair, worn in two pigtails.
"Stop it," she scolded, putting the finish touches on his make-up. "You look good. Better than my little sister did after I got her ready for prom. Foreman, get out here! I want to make sure that dress fits you."
Foreman's muffled voice came floated through her bathroom door. "I'm not coming out. I feel so stupid. I never should have agreed to this."
"We all agreed we needed to cheer Julia up after this afternoon," she reminded them pointedly. "This is the best way to do it: shock her with a couple cross-dressing babes like yourselves and some goodies."
"How come you didn't dress up?" Chase demanded, tugging at the pink ruffles on his tutu. They itched like hell…
"I'm the straight man," she told him.
"I'm a straight man, and I dressed up," Chase muttered.
"Foreman!" Cameron yelled. She turned back to Chase. "If I dressed up, it would ruin the entire thing. Besides, someone needs to carry the bags. Now stop rubbing your eyelashes! You're going to smudge the mascara all over the place and make yourself look like a raccoon and then you'll feel really stupid."
"Cameron, this is ridiculous," Foreman said, preparing to open the door. "I'm stuffed into this dress like a cannon shot me into it. It's never going to come off…"
"Foreman, if you rip that dress, I'll kill you," Cameron warned him. "It's one of my favorites. Now let me see you."
"No."
"Foreman…"
"Okay. Jesus, you're acting like a Nazi."
Foreman opened the door and walked out like he was a cow being lead to the slaughterhouse. He stood in front of them, face down, eyes closed, waiting for it to end.
Cameron nodded in approval. "You look terrific. That green really makes your eyes pop, and that bow in your hair suits you."
"Oh, thanks," he said sarcastically. "That makes me feel so much better about going transvestite."
"Chase, look at me," Cameron demanded. "You look good, too. You should wear more purple."
"I refuse to take fashion advice from a woman who thinks it's acceptable to take her male co-workers hostage, dress them up like girls, and then take them back to work and parade them around to their clients until they're nothing but jokes."
"It's for a good cause, and you know it." Cameron stepped back and clapped her hands. "Come on; let's get in the car. Julia's going to love this."
"She'd better," Foreman said gruffly.
"Cameron, you'd better not complain the next time I ask you to take the fall in front of House for my diagnoses," Chase told her.
Julia lurched forward, vomiting into the little plastic tub the nurse held in front of her. Ten minutes after Wilson had left, a sudden wave of nausea had come over her, and she'd barely gotten the aid of RN Kim McLaren before she'd started throwing up. "Thanks," she gasped, leaning back after she was confident she was empty. "Could I have some water?"
"Sure, honey," Kim said, going to the bathroom. Julia heard the sink running, and moments later Kim reappeared with a plastic pink cup in her hands. "Feeling a little better?"
"In a strange way, yeah," she laughed as her trembling hands took the cup. "I hate throwing up."
"I hate you throwing up too," Kim said, smiling. She took a paper towel and dabbed it lightly over Julia's mouth. "You want me to sit with you a while?"
Julia wanted someone to be with her 100 of the time. She hated this place and didn't want to be alone. "No, I'm fine," she said. "I should get some sleep."
"Alright," Kim said. "One of us will be out there if you need…us…" She trailed off. "Mary, Mother of God…"
"What?" Julia said as she turned her head in the direction Julia was staring. "Jesus H. Christ…" Dr. Cameron and two men in dresses were walking towards her room. "Is that Dr. Cameron?"
"And it looks like she brought Drs. Foreman and Chase with her too," Kim observed dryly. "Imagine that."
"Hey, Julia," Allison said brightly as she walked into the room, a brown grocery bag in her arms. "We hope you don't mind us stopping in. We thought you might like to see Chase and Foreman in their natural state."
It was painfully obvious that Chase and Foreman had never worn dresses in their lives, even before they sent murderous glances Dr. Cameron's way.
Julia burst out laughing. "Oh, my God," she squealed. "You guys are terrific!"
All three doctors smiled with relief. The cross-dressing was not in vain.
"I'm out of here," Kim told them. "You are all freaks, no offense." She walked out before any of them could say a word.
"We thought you might like some cheering up, being stuck in this hospital all day long," Chase said, pleased that he had provoked such a beautiful expression on Julia's face.
"Please," Cameron said. "Now he's gonna pretend like it was all his idea."
"No one wants to take credit for this," Foreman argued. "It's great we could make her laugh, but I have never felt so out of place in my life."
"Stop being such a baby, Foreman," Cameron said, digging through the bag. "You look great. This was an act of God."
"This was a disaster," Chase fumed, angry all over again.
"You put the ass in disaster, Chase," Cameron said.
"Hey, hey, hey," Julia said quickly. "You've all done a great thing, and no one gets extra points for coming up with the idea. And what's in the bag?" she asked hopefully.
"Presents!" they all chorused, grateful for the diversion.
"You're kidding!" Julia cried, clasping her hands together. "For me?"
"No joke," Chase said, as Foreman carried the bag over to her. "None of it's wrapped, but we hope you like it anyway."
"No worries, mate," she said, mimicking his accent. "Jesus, you have an incredible voice." Oh, my God. There's that fever again. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm delirious because of my fever. You'll have to forgive me."
"No problem," he told her. Inside, he was smiling. She likes my voice. Julia Chase. Sounding better all the time. "Go on, start unpacking."
Julia reached into the bag and grabbed something. "Oooooh," she said, reading the label. "Bath and Body Works Moonlight Path Shower Gel."
"There's some lotion in there, too," Foreman said helpfully, pulling up a chair. Chase was sitting on the other chair on the opposite side; Cameron was on the bed next to her.
"We thought you might like some really awesome smelly stuff while you were here," Cameron told her. "I hate the soap they give you in this hospital because it makes you feel so unfeminine, so hopefully you'll like this better."
"Wow," Julia said, knowing that if there was more to be found in the bag, they had spent a small fortune. "This is great! Thank-you so much."
"Keep going," Chase suggested, flipping his pigtail around with his index finger.
"Here's that lotion," she said. "And a hairbrush, and a toothbrush, and some toothpaste. Then some shampoo, some conditioner, make-up…"
"All the essentials," Foreman said. "Boring. What else?"
"Holy cow!" she exclaimed, sounding like a child at Christmastime. "You got me a…" She knitted her eyebrows in confusion. "What is this?"
"It's a Solitaire game," Chase explained. "If you're sitting here, bored out of your mind, you can play some Solitaire while you're waiting for something interesting to happen.
"That's so cool!" Julia said, reaching into the bag for more. She pulled out a bag of Hershey's Miniatures, some Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, and some Kit-Kats. "Are you trying to fatten me up?" she asked. "Thanksgiving is a long way off. You've got plenty of time."
"Hospital food isn't so appetizing, so maybe you'd like to wash it down with some better dessert," Cameron said.
"This is so cool," Julia said, afraid she might start to cry.
"We're not done yet," Chase encouraged her. "Keep looking, there's more to be found."
"More?" Julia repeated. "I'm already so indebted to you guys. You have no idea how much this means to me." She smiled, water gathering in her eyes.
"Oh, no," Foreman said, grabbing a tissue. "Please don't cry. That's not what we wanted, really. We just wanted to scare you, with the dresses and all. We didn't mean it!"
Julia laughed, swiping at her eyes. "You guys are so cool. You're the most awesome doctors I've ever met. Do you do this for all your patients?"
"Only you," they said.
"Damn, I feel special," Julia said. "I'm gonna keep going, I guess. This is so fantastic, really. You have no idea…" She reached her hand into the back and pulled out what felt like the biggest book since War and Peace. "The World's Biggest Book Of Crosswords and Word Searches."
"We all thought your speech was very articulate and figured you might like this kind of stuff," Cameron said.
"Oh, my God," Julia said, flipping through the pages. "You're psychic. I used to sit around with all the old people in my apartment building and do this kind of thing all day. You have no idea how much I've missed this."
Cameron felt a lump in her throat. "There's more."
"Wow," Julia said again. She reached into the bag, as it was still heavy on her lap. "A plastic grocery bag?" she asked.
Cameron quickly put her hand on Julia's arm. "That's just some personal stuff," she told her. Understanding registered in everyone's eyes: undergarments and Always. "Anything else you can think of that you might possibly need during your stay at our lovely hospital?"
Answers, Julia thought. "God, no. You guys have thought of everything and more. This is truly fantastic." She glanced at Cameron, then Foreman, then Chase. At Chase, she cracked up. "Could we get a picture, please? I want to remember this forever."
"Foreman," Cameron ordered. "Get the camera."
"I have to be in the picture, though," he said.
"So get Kim to take it."
"Kim's long gone," he informed her, peering out the door. "Hey! Alice!"
"What?" A pause. "Foreman? Is that you? You look like a really ugly woman, or a very gay man. What do you want?"
"Take a picture, it'll last longer," he said, handing her the camera. "Please?"
"Whatever," Alice said, shrugging. "Alright, kids, pose for Alice."
They all leaned in and smiled.
"Say cheese."
"Cheese!" they all sang like kids at a birthday party.
Alice snapped the picture. "Be sure to make doubles for me," she said as she handed Foreman the camera back. "Later, ya'all."
"Bye!"
When Cameron yawned, Julia realized how late it was. "You guys should really be getting home."
"Not us, man," she said. "We're gonna stay here and party."
"One of you had better drive, or she might fall asleep at the wheel," Julia teased, looking at Chase and Foreman.
"Yes, ma'am," Chase said dutifully, saluting her.
"Thanks again," she said. "I love you guys so much for doing this for me. You don't know how much better this is going to be after this whole experience."
"Our pleasure," Foreman said, shaking her hand warmly. "We'll see you tomorrow."
"Behave yourself," Chase told her. "Between that shower gel and the Reeses cups, you're going to be as high as a kite. I don't want to hear any unruly reports when I come in in the morning."
"Live in fear," Julia told him jokingly, reaching up to take his hand. Instead he bent down and gave her a hug. This is a very elating experience, Julia thought. I'm hugging an extremely hot Australian cross-dresser. When he stood up, she cleared her throat, a bit unnerved, and said, "You know, I could be contagious. I wouldn't want you to get sick after all you've done for me."
"No worries, mate," he told her snootily, and they all laughed.
"Goodnight, Julia," Cameron said, giving her a hug too. "I'll see you tomorrow and see how things are going."
Okay, okay, okay. Maybe Dr. Cameron's pretty cool after all. "Thanks so much, Dr. Cameron. This is really incredible."
They all walked to the door…
Immediately one of the monitors hooked up to Julia started beeping wildly.
"What's up?" Chase asked sharply, all business, walking to the side of her bed. "Julia?"
"I…can't…breathe," she gasped, then her eyes fell shut and she went limp.
"Code!" They all gathered around, desperate to get her stabilized. They hadn't counted on Julia getting too sick to enjoy their gifts. Where was the fun, where was the purpose, if she wasn't going to live?
Julia began breathing regularly again, her vitals normal after a few minutes. The three doctors stood nervously around her.
"Where am I?" Julia asked suddenly, her voice sounding far away and dreamy. "Am I in the hospital?"
"Yes, sweetie," Cameron told her, confused. "You're in the hospital. Don't you remember what happened?"
"No," Julia said weakly. "I don't." She looked at the items strewn all over her bed. "What's all this stuff?"
"It's the gifts we all got for you," Chase said, not as bothered by the fact that she didn't seem grateful as by the fact that memory loss was a very disturbing symptom. "Do you remember?"
She paused for a second, considering the items, then said, "Yes."
They all breathed a sigh of relief.
"What's happening to me?" Julia asked, a tear slipping down her cheek. "Why couldn't I remember?"
"I don't know," Foreman told her, shaking his head.
"Does this mean I'm really sick?" Then slowly, terrifyingly : "Am I going to die?"
This was a question none of them could answer.
Weird, how things can start out nicely and turn so ugly? What will happen to Julia? Will House ever grow up and connect with the father inside him? How did Chase really feel about dressing up like a girl? Mleh, sorry, I felt so goofy today. Next chapter will be so much better, I promise, that was just me being odd...don't know how it happened. :P Lots of love!