Chapter Twenty-Two

Silence heavily filled the room like an ominous storm cloud. The lapping of the water in the washbasin as Michaela cleaned her hands was the only sound that could be heard. Lydia was dressing, her face emotionless except for the somber glint in her eyes. Michaela looked over at her patient as she dried off her hands with a soft white towel. She studied the rigid presence that Lydia possessed, and she frowned. Lydia turned after she finished buttoning up her dress. She folded up her corset and put it in her dresser drawer. The horrible prison had been hidden beneath beautiful silk and lace. Now it lay in the darkness among her older undergarments, not to be touched again for a very long time at the advice of the good doctor.

"Did you know?" Michaela asked after a long silence. Lydia moved toward her mirror and adjusted her hairpins. She studied Michaela's reflection for a moment, pondering her words. Michaela stood with her medical bag gripped in her hands.

"I suspected it," she admitted sadly. "I knew something wasn't right a few weeks ago when I missed my monthly again. I told myself it was the stress of what had been happening lately. I pushed it to the back of my mind. I couldn't be. I had to take care of myself, and I couldn't think about raising a…a bastard child on my own." She choked on those words and put her hand over her mouth. "I didn't mean it. It's not the baby's fault."

"Of course not," Michaela whispered, moving over to put her arm around the crying woman. Lydia was all of Michaela's own age, yet she seemed so much younger and delicate right now.

"I just told myself I was worrying. Most women would worry about such a thing after being so sinful," she breathed. She sat down on her bed, and Michaela sat down beside her. "I've always wanted children. I never wanted them in this way."

"I know," Michaela replied softly. "But the truth of the matter is that it is happening. The baby should be here sometime in November." Lydia's sobbed quieted, but the tears continued to flow. Michaela knew it wasn't her place to pry, but she couldn't help it. "Does the father know?" Lydia shook her head.

"No, and I don't want him to!" she snapped. Michaela was shocked by her sudden reply. "Nobody can know who he is. He's already helped bring me down to the very bottom…." Michaela's eyes went wide. No. It couldn't be. Could it? She cleared her throat.

"Lydia, why were you fired from the hospital? I always thought it was a little strange that they let you go when they let Dr. Lewis go." Lydia froze. She began to sob again, and Michaela felt guilt wracking her heart. "Oh, Lydia. Lydia, I'm so sorry." Lydia shook her head. "David…he doesn't have to know." When Lydia didn't counter her statement, Michaela knew the truth.

"What kind of a life can I give my baby if I can't even stand on my own two feet and make it in this world? How can I stop my child from hating me when she finds out how she was brought into this world?"

"Lydia, your baby will love you, because you will be her mother. You'll be the one who kisses her when she's sad. You'll be the one who tells her stories at bedtime. You will make a good life for her, because you know the mistakes you've made in your past. You've learned from them, and you don't want her to make them either. Having a baby is a beautiful thing." She put her hand on Lydia's. "Nobody has to know that David is the father."

"I'll know!" Lydia replied. "What am I supposed to tell people?" She sighed heavily. "I don't know how I raise this child here, Dr. Quinn. I can't raise her where everyone will know what I did and look down upon her for it. No child deserves to be punished for her parents' sins." Michaela was torn for this poor woman. Most times, she would highly recommend the parents talking it over if they were unwed and in trouble, but knowing that David was the father put a whole new spin on things. She couldn't very well suggest that Lydia commit herself to a lifetime of punishment by marrying David. No, David couldn't know. "Dr. Quinn, please promise me you won't say anything to anyone."

"I'm a doctor. It's my job to keep my patients' cases confidential."

"Thank you," Lydia whispered. Seeing the pain in Lydia's eyes let Michaela know that whatever happened between David and Lydia hadn't ended on good terms. She felt for the poor young woman, and she knew what it was like to be taken by David's charm and swept away by his smile. But, that was the old David. He was almost unrecognizable these days. Michaela sighed softly and gently rubbed Lydia's back.

"Albert is very concerned about you," Michaela said quietly. "I happen to know he's a very wonderful man, and when Albert Johnson cares about someone, he'll be there for them until the end." Lydia sniffled.

"He told me he used to be sweet on you."

"Yes," Michaela laughed. "And we're still friends. He's been very helpful to me, and I'm lucky to have him as a friend. You're lucky to have him in your life, and he's lucky too." Lydia shook her head.

"What will he think of me when he finds out?" She sniffled again. Even though Albert was supportive of her and knew about what had happened with David, she was certain he'd never figured this situation would arise.

"You won't know until you tell him, will you?" Lydia shrugged.

"I suppose not." Michaela smiled at Lydia.

"I should be going. Remember to keep that corset off."

"It's a relief, really," Lydia replied. "I'd rather be comfortable and pregnant than stuck in that contraption." Michaela grinned. She knew the feeling! She was beginning to think that a life without a corset would be much more pleasant. She knew she didn't need one to fit into her clothes, but she'd been brought up this way. That was just another adjustment she'd make, though she truly didn't mind it! "Dr. Quinn?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for everything." Michaela smiled.

"Just take it easy. If you ever need to talk, I'll be here. I'd like to see you soon for an appointment." Lydia nodded. Michaela left the room and closed Lydia's bedroom door. Albert, Gertrude and Sully were still standing around, though Gertrude looked as if she needed to rest.

"How is she?" Albert asked immediately.

"She's resting," Michaela said with a pleased smile masking the worry in her eyes. Sully saw right through that, however. Michaela turned to Gertrude. "Lydia will need to rest for a couple of weeks. She needs to take it easy, so I advise you to hire a maid or someone else to keep house while she's resting. I don't want her exerting herself."

"What's wrong with her?" Gertrude asked. Michaela swallowed hard.

"She needs to rest," Michaela repeated. Gertrude nodded slowly.

"I'll…I'll let my husband know as soon as he comes home." Sully reached out for Michaela's hand.

"Everything all right?"

"Yes," she assured him.

"Are you really sure?" Michaela smiled a little.

"Why don't you go ask her yourself?" Without another word, Albert hurried in to talk with Lydia. Sully smiled at his betrothed, and he held his arm out to her.

"Ready to go?"

"Yes," she replied with a yawn. "I'm exhausted!" They stepped out of the house and onto the concrete steps. Michaela took a deep breath and felt the coolness of the night cling to her skin. Sully pulled his buckskin coat off and draped it over her shoulders. Michaela smiled gratefully, and he stood behind her, encircling his arms around her. Her head leaned back onto his chest, and he rested his chin on her shoulder. They stood like that for several moments, enjoying the sight of the full moon with one another. "It's beautiful out here." There was slight apprehension in her voice, though she seemed comfortable in his arms.

"Michaela, what's botherin' ya?" She shook her head slowly. "Is it somethin' I can help with?" Michaela turned in Sully's arms and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I wish it was, but it's not anything anyone can help with."

"I'm sure you'll figure out somethin'. You're good at helping people." Michaela smiled a little.

"I can't say anymore, because a patient has rights…"

"It's about Lydia? Is somethin' wrong?"

"She's fine," Michaela assured him. "I can't say anything more." Sully nodded.

"I won't ask ya to. You're sure you're alright, though?"

"Yes," she answered, giving him a peck upon the lips. She started to pull away, but he pulled her closer.

"What kinda kiss is that?" he replied jokingly. Michaela grinned and giggled as Sully's lips hovered over hers. They took one another into a full kiss, and they held each other so close. The warm night began to grow hotter, and Michaela finally pulled away. She was almost breathless as she looked up into his eyes.

"It's getting late," she breathed, her voice almost husky. Shivers moved up and down Sully's spine. Those three words would take on an entirely new meaning soon enough. He pulled her in again, kissing her tenderly. He felt her tongue dart out to lick his lips, and a low growl escaped the back of his throat. This sent a thrill through Michaela, but she maintained her footing and deepened their kiss. When they finally pulled apart, Sully let out a soft, slow breath. "We should go." Sully nodded and took her hand. Silence filled the comfortable air around them as they walked home hand-in-hand.

Albert watched Lydia carefully as she sat in bed with her blanket pulled up over her. He was worried, because he'd sensed something in Michaela's voice before she'd left. Something was wrong, and he wasn't quite sure he'd ever get Lydia to tell him. She sighed heavily as he barely flinched.

"Albert!" she said quickly.

"Are you…"

"I'm fine for the fifteenth time," she replied. "Stop worrying."

"If there's nothing to worry about, then why was Michaela's face so pale when she left your room?" Lydia rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You know perfectly well that Michaela Quinn is always beautifully pale."

"This is no joking matter. I'm really worried about you, Lydia." Lydia took his hand in hers, and she couldn't help but think about how right it all felt. Having him right here was a comfort to her.

"There is no reason for you to be concerned. All I need is a little bit of rest. I feel better already, Albert." She knew she hadn't convinced him yet, so she gave him a brave smile. "Albert, sometimes things happen that we can't control. We just need to learn to deal with them." Albert was now convinced that something was terribly wrong, but he decided not to push the conversation any further. She needed to rest for whatever reason, so he was going to let her.

"You know I'm here if you need anything." She smiled a little bit.

"There is something I need. I need you to stop worrying! I'm perfectly healthy." Albert sighed in defeat.

"Fine. Is there anything else I can do?" Seeing that she needed to give him something to do, she squeezed his hand.

"Will you keep me company until I fall asleep?" Finally feeling wanted, Albert nodded. He watched her settle back into her bed and rest her head upon her pillow. Lydia felt so safe with Albert. He was a comfort and a shield from all of the bad things in the world. Having him here made her feel like everything was going to be all right. Albert noticed her eyes welling with tears, and he knew something was bothering her so painfully. She clearly couldn't talk about it yet, so he didn't say another word. He held her hand and sat with her until she fell asleep.

Charlotte was sleeping comfortably as the night wore on. She'd been comfortable enough to fall asleep, and the children hoped that she wouldn't have anymore of these pains. They wanted their mother to be strong, healthy and happy. They only wished that her future wasn't so uncertain.

They hadn't eaten dinner, because the news from the doctor had spoiled their appetites. Little Brian, however, was chewing on a piece of jerky at Matthew's request. Brian was a growing boy, and he needed to eat when he could. The boy was tired, however, and his eyes were having a hard time staying open.

"Brian, why don't ya go on to bed?" Matthew suggested.

"Do I have to? I ain't tired."

"Ya don't wanna be tired all day tomorrow, do ya?" Colleen asked. Brian sighed.

"No, but I wanna stay up with you. I ain't tired. Honest!" He let out a big yawn, and Matthew chuckled.

"Ya ain't foolin' anybody. Go on, little brother. We'll turn the light out soon." Brian sighed and ate the last piece of jerky before he bounded off to bed. When he was settled in, Colleen leaned in to talk in a hushed tone.

"Matthew? What's gonna happen to us if…if Ma dies?" Matthew shook his head.

"I'm sure that ain't gonna happy. Ma's a strong lady. She's the strongest lady I know, and she ain't gonna let go without a fight. She loves us too much." Colleen sighed softly. She knew better. She'd assisted her mother long enough to know that even the strongest of ladies could suffer tremendously.

"Matthew, don't say that for my sake," Colleen whispered. "I've seen bad things happen to real strong ladies before." Matthew sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his blonde hair.

"If anything happens, we'll take care of each other. I won't let nothin' bad happen to you or Brian."

"What about Pa?"

"What about 'im?"

"He's gonna come back, right?" Matthew took his little sister's hand in his. He didn't want to lie to her, but he didn't want to upset her anymore than she already was.

"I'm sure Pa will be back just as soon as he makes enough money to get by this year." Colleen smiled, not quite convinced. "Go get some sleep now. We gotta get up early and do the chores for Ma."

"Okay," she replied quietly. She turned to walk toward her bed.

"Matthew?" she hesitated.

"Yeah?"

"I hope Pa does come back. I ain't sure we can do this without him."

"We'll make it work, Colleen. I promise." Colleen nodded sadly and went off to bed. Matthew slowly turned down the lantern on the table, and he sat in the darkness, listening to the crickets chirping outside. His gut told him not to count on Ethan. He wanted to and badly. After all, Ethan was his father. Ethan was the man he'd looked up to all of his life, but as he grew older, Matthew was smart enough to know that Ethan wasn't much of a man at all, because he drank more than he used to, and he was rarely home. He began to wonder why Ethan didn't want to be around. It was silly to think that it was because of the children. Ethan had always wanted a large family. Perhaps the pressures of family life and the burden of needing more money was too much. Either way, greed and need had possessed Ethan's conscious, and Matthew wasn't sure if there was anything left of the father he used to know.

Author's Note: This only pertains to those leaving feedback on Since it appears that there have been no reviews since SEVERAL chapters ago, I'm going to assume that it's ok to STOP posting here. I'm perfectly fine with not posting on and only posting at my website, but let me know. It could save me a LOT of time to stop posting my chapters here. It's really up to all of you.