Thanks for all the reviews! I'm not going to respond individually to everyone (sorry!) but I will address some issues that have been brought up or just on my mind.

1) First and foremost, it has been brought to my attention that I have been getting a little bit too free with my language. My sincere apologies to anyone I've offended! I'm definitely going to try to keep my use of obscenities and the Lord's name at a minimum in future chapters and stories. If this has been an issue with you, just include a hearty "aye!" in your next review. I want to be able to remember this so I don't make the same mistake again! Cursing is a form of rebellion for me, a way of saying, "I'm all grown up, and I can talk however I want!" but I realize that using only these words is nothing but a testament to immaturity and ignorance in regards to expressing oneself with the English language. Again, I am very sorry; it would be dishonest of me to say I'm going to bring it to a complete stop, but I will definitely keep it at a minimum. If it makes you feel any better, I don't actually talk this way unless I'm in the middle of experiencing some very extreme emotions and only in certain company; I just write it. (I'm not sure why that would make you feel any better, but…) And if you think this is bad, you should see my journal. :P

2) I've upped the rating on this fic to mature because there are some rather adult themes in here and I want all readers to be forewarned. Not that I'm planning on adding any more; this is more for me and my conscience, which has been going on and on and on lately. Not that I blame it; summer has been a great opportunity for me to get into lots of mischief (legal mischief, of course), and usually I behave so well my parents get aggravated at me for being so boring. :P

3) I've heard from a few people that some of the characters are not seeming like themselves. Sorry for the inconsistencies; not to offer excuses, things have just been crazy lately. I'll try to get things right in the coming chapters, but it might take a little more time...maybe I'll actually have to start putting a day or two between updates...:P Thanks for mentioning these things to me; it makes writing an entertaining and delightful challenge to take up each and every day.

4) Of course, I must thank you all for taking the time to read and let me know what's on your mind. I hope you're enjoying this as much as I am and that chapter 16 is to your liking. Enough from me; onto the story!

House sluggishly slapped at his alarm clock until it stopped droning at him incessantly. He glared at it as it flashed the time at him tauntingly, as if it was saying, "You have to get up! Look at how early it is!"

"Here we go again," he muttered, burying his face in his pillow. It couldn't keep him from suddenly feeling wide awake, though, and he knew he'd never fall asleep again, not until he got home from work that night. Surprisingly, last night hadn't been sleepless. Au contraire, he'd gone to bed early and had fallen asleep the second he flicked out the lights. It amazed him, because generally when he had a lot on his mind he would sit awake for hours on end, drinking and thinking until he ran out of the resources for either activity; they went hand in hand for him.

He showered and dressed and dragged himself into the kitchen for some breakfast. He studied the contents of his cupboards and refrigerator and rolled his eyes. In a last effort to prove to himself that he wasn't a worthless bum, he checked his pantry for anything. He would have settled for popcorn kernels and a bag of stale potato chips. Nothing.

House slammed the pantry door shut, reaching what felt like an all-time low. His daughter was dying, his best friend was a womanizing scum that hated him, and he didn't have any suitable breakfast foods. Or lunch foods, or dinner foods, or foods that no one likes but eats anyway for stupid reasons like "It was on sale" or "It's supposed to be good for you." He wondered suddenly what he'd been living on for all this time. He checked the expiration date on an unopened bottle of pickles. "March 2002," he read aloud. "Perfect." He set it back on the shelf, vowing that once he felt better he'd get his apartment back in shape. No more of this insipid, self-harming behavior! The first step to recovery was admitting you had a problem, and House was appropriately pleased with himself for doing so.

The phone rang, and it made him jump. "Strange sound," he commented. "That's something you don't hear everyday." House picked it up and said, "Hello, House residence." He found that mildly amusing.

"Which House am I speaking to?" Cuddy asked. "As if there's more than one." He sensed her blushing over the phone. "Ummm…I mean, you know, living there."

"Your attempts at humor leave much to be desired," House told her dryly. "I found that about as entertaining as I find that redneck man, Jeff Foxworthy. Why are you calling me at home, if I may be so bold as to inquire?"

"I'm suspending you from work," she said in a rush. "Don't come in for three days."

"What?" he said disbelievingly. "You're suspending me? For what?"

"Don't think of it as a suspension," Cuddy pleaded. "Think of it as me giving you a much-needed vacation."

"You should know by now that you don't tend to provoke feelings of gratefulness and warmth," House muttered. "But as much as I hate to admit it, you're right."

He heard her sigh with relief. "Thank God," she said. "I was afraid you might come after me and beat the crap out of me like you did to Wilson."

House was on his feet, feeling enraged all over again. "How did you find out about Wilson?" he demanded.

He listened to the silence as he felt a state of panic rush over his boss. "I…guessed?" she tried. "Ummm…oh boy, my beeper's going off; we'll have to talk about this later."

"Cuddy, don't hang up," he warned her.

"Bye, Dr. House," she said hurriedly. "Enjoy your vacation."

She slammed down the phone, and House was left alone with his thoughts once again. He told! That mentally challenged, brainless, childlike idiot went and complained to Cuddy! He paused in his mind and frowned. It didn't sound like Wilson to do such a thing. If she asked, that would be one thing, but… "Oh, no," he exclaimed out loud. "I must have left a mark or a bruise or something. Something that can be photographed! If he's mad enough at me, he'll probably sue me for everything I'm worth." He thought about the pickles and grinned in spite of himself. Good luck with that, Jimmy. Try squeezing financial compensation out of a man that's going to go broke from restocking his entire kitchen before he evens hires a lawyer.

House turned back to the pantry, willing himself to open the door. But he couldn't do it. He couldn't face it, not in the state he was in. Hungry and alone.

He sighed. House knew exactly what he needed: a date. A breakfast date.

"Who do I know that would be willing to eat breakfast with me?" House asked himself aloud. He scrunched his eyes shut and considered everyone he knew. Wilson was out of the question, Julia surely needed time to herself and anyways, she was probably taking care of her mother in the wake of yet another alcohol binge, and Chase and Foreman certainly weren't what he considered his pals. His breath quickened as tried to avoid the inevitable name, attempting to come up with any other person he could possibly think of. At last, he had to admit defeat.

House picked up the phone, and, knowing he was doomed and that he would regret this forever, dialed Alison Cameron's number.

"Hello?" she answered sleepily but nevertheless politely.

"Morning, Cameron," he said. "Guess who?"

"House?"

"Very good. Who else would be calling you at six o'clock in the morning?"

He could sense her blinking, sitting up slowly in bed as she fought the urge to fall back asleep. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing's wrong, per se," House told her. "I was just sitting here in my apartment, thinking, 'I'll bet Cameron's still asleep. She's going to be late for work, and we can't have that. She'll wake up, realize the time, and rush through her morning routine, probably forgetting the most important meal of the day.' And you know I can't just sit by and let these things happen, Cameron, because I'm a doctor and therefore concerned with everyone's welfare. And then I thought to myself, 'Well, Greg, out of the goodness of your heart, why don't you take her out to breakfast?' And I couldn't think of a single reason why I shouldn't, so I gave you a call. What do you say?"

She was silent for a moment, considering. Then, slowly: "I think you overdid the Vicodin a little bit. It's one pill every four to six hours, dummy, not minutes."

House laughed, almost hysterically. He had taught her well. "I assure you, I have read the prescription a thousand times over, Dr. Cameron. But you haven't answered my question."

Cameron was going to say no. He knew it with certainty. It had been a bad idea to call her; he suddenly wished Cuddy had just fired him and gotten it over with. Once she found out, she would do it anyway, because only an idiot calls a woman he himself has scorned at six o'clock in the morning and asks her to go to breakfast with him. Certainly Cuddy didn't want an idiot on her staff. Then again, she kept several idiots around (namely Wilson), and she never fired them.

"Well," she replied, "as you have pointed out, I'm going to be late anyway. I suppose breakfast wouldn't hurt."

He felt his stomach drop suddenly. She said yes. Cameron said yes. And then he glanced down at the floor, because it just felt like the natural thing to do, and noticed a huge stain on the pants he had just put on. He couldn't go out to breakfast with Alison Cameron, not like this. He glanced at his hamper; it was full. "I've changed my mind," he said, and hung up.

Alison Cameron sat in bed ten miles away, staring at the phone in disbelief. "Unbelievable," she said, and she dialed the number she had memorized but never called.

House picked up the phone slowly. "Hello?"

"Don't you dare hang up on me," she demanded angrily. "I don't understand you. First you say you want company, and then you hang up on me? What's the deal?"

"If you'll be so kind as to remember," he requested, "I called you because I wanted to do something for you out of the goodness of my heart."

"I wasn't aware you had a heart," Cameron muttered.

"But then I looked at my clock and realized you still have time if you get up now, hurry through your shower, and eat on the run," House said. "So therefore, this conversation is pointless."

"Stop it!" she said. "You're insane. If you want to have breakfast, just say so. There aren't many people I would come in late for work for, so you should feel privileged. If you want to take advantage of this, you'd better tell me now, because I'm only giving you an hour of my scheduled time."

House was amazed at this confession. Cameron would come to work late for him?

"Not to mention the fact that you're scheduled today too," Cameron continued.

"Not anymore," House informed her coolly, not particularly enjoying the reminder. "Cuddy is giving me a few days off."

A smile spread across Cameron's face. House is getting a few days off, and he feels like spending an hour out of them with me. "I see," she said slowly. "Well, what's it gonna be? Yes or no?"

It took House a moment to realize she hadn't asked him why he had time off. He'd always thought Cameron would be the nosy type, unashamed to get into business she had no right to come near, but he guessed not after this. He prepared himself to say yes and opened his mouth when his cell phone rang.

"Hold on, Cameron, my cell phone's ringing," he told her as he flipped it open. He heard her sigh and flop back onto her pillow. "Hello?"

"Dad," Julia said, and he could tell that she was crying. Yet again. "Mom's asleep and I can't get her to wake up."

He started pacing without even realizing it. "What? She's not waking up?"

"Yeah," she sobbed. "She drank a lot last night, and I threw away as much as I could without her seeing me, but I guess she had enough, and I'm doing everything I can, and she's just not doing anything…"

"Is she breathing?"

"Well, yeah, but she's never done this before," Julia told him tearfully. "What should I do? Should I call an ambulance or is there something I can do here?"

"Julia, just stay right where you are," he commanded her firmly. "I'm going to come over there and get both of you, okay? Just stay with her and keep your eye on her. Don't go anywhere. I'm coming."

"Okay," Julia said. "Hurry, please."

"I'll see you in ten minutes," House said. "Okay? Good-bye." He hung up and got back on with Cameron. "Cameron, I've got to go, alright?"

"What now?" she asked, infuriated. "Did your first choice for breakfast call back and say they could make it and now you don't need me?"

"That was Julia, and she's having trouble with Alma," House said. "Believe me, don't believe me, do whatever you want. But I have to go over there and see what's going on."

Cameron chose to believe him. "Need any help?" she asked.

House opened his mouth to say no, but stopped. Who knew what was going on? He needed all the help he could get. "Yeah, I might need you," he replied. He gave her the address and asked her to hurry.

Within minutes, House was out the door on his way to his daughter's house, not knowing what he'd find and how he would deal with it. Cameron was five minutes behind him, numb with the certainty that she was getting herself into something that she could never turn back from.

This one's a bit shorter than I expected, and probably not as good as it should be; sorry, folks! I started driver's ed today, I'm feeling kind of sick, and tomorrow I'll be gone all day: driving, doctor's, then I have to go hang out with my friends. Public relations are so difficult. :P JK, but by Wednesday, I might be able to get another chapter up. Hope this was okay; as always, I'm waiting in anticipation for any reviews you've got for me! Thanks for reading! Cara/house-of-insanity