Okay, only one more chapter after this one. The last chapter will be David, winding this whole thing up, but first, a little something from Jo...

-

I came into the store. I had never come into the store before, except that one time with Sam when we decided to buy the laptop for Matt, and David was so helpful, he really steered us in the right direction and gave us a great deal.

I walked back to the Computer Department and saw David, working up another great deal for another lucky couple, who would probably turn out to be his last customers at this job. It was five minutes to six on Monday evening, the last few moments of his last work shift. Tomorrow he would be on his way to college.

He looked up and saw me, and the smile on his face rivaled the sun. I know it sounds corny, but there is no other way to put it. He said a few quick words to his customers, then excused himself, coming instantly to my side.

"Hey…Jo…" he said, still beaming, his eyes so full of everything I know he was hoping for tonight. I could tell he wanted to reach out and touch me, kiss me, hug me, and it was taking all his self-will to hold himself back in this public setting.

That's why I was here. Because it was a public setting.

"Hi, David," I said, forcing a smile. I wondered if he could tell I had been crying.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. "I thought I was going to pick you up at your house. In about forty five minutes?"

Oh, God! I couldn't do this here. In fact, I didn't feel I could do this at all. I wished there was some other way around it, but I knew there wasn't. I had to catch him before he got into his car and drove home or, worse yet, over to my house.

"Listen, David," I said. "I….well, I had to come up here for…something….so before you leave, come outside and find me, I'll be down by the Baskin Robbins, sitting outside. Just come find me."

Now he was starting to catch on. I didn't want to use the words "We have to talk," because then he would know. Nothing good ever follows the words "We have to talk." Everybody knows that. So I didn't say those words, but already I think he was catching on.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, his mood obviously darkened by mine.

"Oh yeah," I said, striving for a lighthearted tone. "I mean, nobody's died, or anything like that …"

"Are we still on for tonight?" he asked, eyeing me carefully.

"Go finish your sale," I said, nodding towards the customers behind him, which I'm sure he had forgotten all about by this time. "I'll see you outside in a few minutes."

I turned and walked away, already feeling the tears starting to swell up again. At least I hadn't said the dreaded "We have to talk." But what did that matter at this point? In a few moments we would be talking, and in a few moment more, I would be breaking his heart. There was no easy way around this.

-

I saw him, walking down the breezeway in his red shirt and khaki pants, but his face no longer rivaled the sun. A cloud had passed over, and it remained upon him as he sat down opposite me at the small metal table outside the Baskin Robbins.

"Okay, Jo," he said. "What's going on?"

I looked at him, bit my lip and held back the tears. "David," I said. "You know how much you've meant to me these past weeks. I needed a friend so badly, and there you were, and everything was so perfect, and I'll never forget…and I'll never regret…"

He gulped. "Why do I feel like I'm getting dumped?" he asked in a hollow voice.

"Oh, David! You're not getting dumped. It's not like that. I can't be like that, because in order to get dumped, first you have to be a couple, and we were never a couple, David. We were just really, really good friends, and then, after a while things just started to get out of hand---"

"Is that what you call it? 'Out of hand'?"

"David, I need you to understand. When I say I'll never regret anything that happened, I mean it. I will never regret anything. Not even what happened yesterday. Especially not what happened yesterday. You…your kisses….the way you made me feel…that was the most wonderful….the most thrilling…."

"But it's not going to happen again, is it?" he asked, bitterly. "And we're not going out tonight, are we?"

I put my hands over my forehead, unable to look at him. "No," I said quietly, miserably. "It's not. And we're not. We can't. I mean….I can't."

He sighed heavily, and we sat there in silence for a few minutes more. There was a family a few tables away enjoying their ice cream cones, and we could hear them chattering happily, but they were too involved in their own blissful lives to pay much attention to what was going on between us.

"So what happened?" David asked finally. "Was it Lizzie? Did Lizzie get to you?"

"No, it wasn't Lizzie," I said instantly. "It was Sam. Sam came home early this morning. And he 'got to me,' as you put it."

"Then he knows?"

I took a deep, quavering breath. "He knows everything, David. I didn't hide anything from him. He's my husband, and I love him, and at last we had the chance to talk, to really talk about everything that's been happening. He opened up to me, and I opened up to him, and for the first time in the longest time I've felt that maybe…maybe there's hope for us…for our marriage…"

David sighed again and sat sideways on his chair, not looking at me. "Sam must hate my guts right now," he said in a voice so low I could barely hear him.

"No, he doesn't!" I exclaimed. "He doesn't blame you, David. He doesn't blame me. I think if anything he blames himself. But that's all in the past now. He's agreed to…to come to marriage counseling with me. Not your parents, you understand, somebody else, way outside of town. He's cutting back his hours at work, he's telling his boss he has to have every other weekend at home. And we're going on a trip! Can you imagine? And…and…he wants to buy me a bowling ball, so we can go bowling together. A ball that is not too heavy, but the holes are not too small and not too close together, so it will be just right for me. We're going to go bowling together!"

David looked across at me, a perturbed look on his face. And who could blame him? Here I had just dashed all his hopes for a wild night of sexual pleasure, and instead I was babbling about bowling?

"You have to understand, David," I went on. "From the start I never told you any different than that I loved my husband and wanted things to get better between us. I never let you believe---"

"Yes, you did," he said accusingly.

I gasped. "No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did, Jo. You flirted with me, shamelessly, at every opportunity. You were always touching me, always saying things, always flirting…"

"David…David…" I said miserably. "I never meant anything by it. I was just playing."

"You were playing, Jo, but I was….I was…."

This was turning out to be worse than I thought. I felt like I was going to cry, and now he sounded like he might too.

"I know I was unfair to you," I said quietly, steadying my voice. "I'm so sorry, David. I never thought you would take it all so seriously. It was far…far too easy to forget how very young you are, how impressionable, how very vulnerable…"

"I know," he said sarcastically. "Because I'm so mature, right? So smart. So grown up. Such a man."

"You are, sweetie," I said, reaching out for his hand, but he pulled it away. And then I noticed that my sweet young man, my smart, mature, grown up young man, had a tear falling down the side of his face.

"Oh, David…"

He didn't answer for a long time. I saw him looking down at the ground, biting his lower lip to hold back any more tears that might try to escape. Now he was the little boy again, and he had a boo-boo, but I couldn't kiss it and make it better, like I used to. I could only hope I wouldn't hurt him too much more.

We both sat there, not knowing what else to say, but not wanting to leave. Even though we knew there could be nothing more between us, I don't think either of us wanted to be the first one to stand up and leave.

Finally, David took a deep breath that was laced with a sniffle. "Jo, " he said very quietly. "I really wanted…I really wanted you to be my first time."

"Oh, David! You can do so much better than that," I said with certainty. "Soon, you're going to be in college, you're going to be meeting so many girls your own age. And you're going to find someone, someone who lights up your world, who belongs to you and you alone, and when that happens you're going to be so glad that you waited to create the memory of your first time with her, and not have it already spoiled by…by…."

"It wouldn't have been spoiled," David said with equal certainty, but he still would not look at me.

We sat again in silence, and I could see that we were not going to get anywhere like this. There was nothing more to be said. Well, one more thing I had to say.

"Anyway," I began, "I just want to thank you, David, for everything you did for me this summer. For being my friend. For being my confidant. For being that shoulder to cry on. You helped me so much, you can't even begin to imagine. I am so serious when I say that I don't regret a single moment of it. I wouldn't trade in any of it, not even last night. Especially not last night---"

"Jo. Don't. That's not making me feel any better."

I sighed. "I know. I'm being unfair again, aren't I? So I'm going to stop. And I'm going to go. And I'm going to say…finally…. that I wish you the very best, David, all the very best as you start this new chapter in your life."

He looked up at me suddenly, biting his lip against the tears. I could tell how difficult this was for him, so I was so proud of him when I heard him say, "And I wish you the same, Jo, as you begin a new chapter in your life. With Sam, I mean. I hope everything works out for you two."

He ran a hand over his forehead and let out a sharp breath as he said, "And I hope you'll start talking to your friends again. And most of all I hope that somehow you and Lizzie will….will….I don't know. Whatever it is that you and Lizzie need to do to get past all the trouble I caused between you, and all the trouble there was before I even came along. I hope you can help her to be happy again.

"I worry about her, you know. I still love her. I always will. And I'll always love you too, Jo. Those McGuire women," he joked with a small laugh. "Can't live with 'em…can't….you know…"

I smiled at him sadly. The boy was gone again, the man had reappeared. I had a feeling that as time went on this was going to be happening to him more and more often.

I stood up and held out my arms. "Would you give me one more hug, sweetie, before you go?"

David nodded and came into my arms. We held each other for a long, long time, and in a little while I felt that he was rocking me, ever so slightly, as if we were dancing again. I was crying, and I was pretty sure he was crying too, because when he finally let me go, he wiped his eyes and said, "I should go now."

I nodded. "Now you should go," I agreed. "You have a big day tomorrow. And I have to go too."

David nodded. "You have to go home to Sam."

"I do," I said.

We hugged again, then said no more. He turned around and walked away, his shoulders hunched, and I watched him disappear out of my life.