If I were me, would I like me?

Disclaimer: Don't own Beyblade...well in my dreams...never mind. Poem is mine, so please don't use it without permission.

Summary: Kai is having one of his contemplating moments and thinks about himself and his team. Another product of my unusual imagination.

Hi! I'm back...and still alive! I did it! Yeah! okay that's over. Just wanting to say thanks for bearing with me and waiting, your new story "Stone Cold" will be posted next week at the latest. So all you lovely, dedicated readers and reveiwers can look forward to my return to the world of writing. I can't help it..I'm jsut so freaking happy! I past all my exams and still had enough inspiration to write a little apology story to you all. So here is my apology and also a teaser for the next story. Giggles madly I love being me.

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I lay on the roof, all on my own. I like to do that. I like to be on my own, that way no one can hurt me, or I them. I can't help wonder what it would be like to be like them. I am cold and harsh, they are warm and soft. I am vengeful and hateful, they are forgiving and loving. We are so different, yet the same. We are all young boys, under the same pressures, we feel the same emotions when we are hurt or happy, so why am I so different? Or is it them?

I see the sun rise

and watched the night skies

fade and drift away, like my life,

my mind, making way for strife

Tyson, the big-mouthed, lazy glutton. The wild card in our group. He relies on luck rather than skill, something I would never do, and he easily loses his cool. He is like the air, which his Bit beasts represents. He goes from one thing to another, like a gentle spring breeze, not particularly caring where he went, as long as there is food. Yet he can become as wild as the winter gales, lashing out at everything, whether it be friend or foe. If I were like him, would I like me?

I felt myself fall to darkness

to the depths of destructiveness.

With it went my life, my mind,

my heart and my inner child

Max, hyper-active, bubbly fluff brain. The solid defense of the team. His motto is " a strong offense is a strong defence". An unusual way to look at things, but I'm not one who can judge. He is like the water his Bit beasts lives in, he can "go with the flow" and adapt when need be, he seems to be as touched by worry as the sea is yellow...meaning he is practically never worried. He, like the sea, has a different side. I have seen him go from the gentle, loving, waveless sea to a cruel and unforgiving storm. One that drowns all. If I were him, would I like me?

I screamed for someone to save me, to

help me. But none heard my call, so

I despaired and now I truly shall fall.

My only question is, will I be missed at all?

Me, the oldest and so-called "ice-man". The leader of our team. I, like the flames within my Bit beast, have a tendincy to burn the things around me. I am always an extreme, I blade with as much passion as I can hate with. Like the flames of a fire I catch my opponents unaware, leaving them scalded and beaten before they even realised I had struck. There is no softer side to fire, nor is there for me. I am me, do I like me?

I hear my cries of fear

cries that only I can hear

all else is silent, all else is gone

and I drift for ever, all alone.

Rei, the calm, controlled one. The peace-maker and neutral in the team. Like the earth, which is home to his Bit beast, he is ever changing. He changes with the seasons, just as the earth changes her covering to celebrate the changes, he can be gentle and understanding as the warm summer, or as happy and expressive as the long awaited spring, he can be as somber as the aging autumn, or as cold and unforgiving as the harshest of winters. He is all of us and none of us, he is the one who is truly different. If I were him, I could never be him.

I could be as wild as Tyson, as worryless as Max, even carry on being myself, but I cannot be him. That is why I am me, I can never change me. Air can become water, water can become air. Air is a child of the earth, water is its companion. Fire is the destroyer, the outcast. Air gives life, water quenches lifes thirst and the earth protects and nourishes it. Fire destroys it, burns and hurts it. Like me, they are the helpers and I, I am the destroyer. Perhaps I will destroy myself before them?

My thoughts of self hate engulfed me, folding around me, shutting off the world that was real and trapped me in the world of darkness within my mind. I couldn't break free! I began to panic, I needed to get away! I couldn't, it wouldn't let me. I began to lose my focus, my vision began to follow darknesses example and became black, or was that my soul?

Or so I thought, an unknown hand caught

mine, a second before I became naught

but a shadow in my mind. I look up and smile. My grace,

my joy, my love, my blessed peace, with an angels face.

A hand shook me, woke me. I jolted.

"Kai, are you alright?"

I looked up and nodded, my heart was beating somewhere in my throat, keeping my voice from filtering to my lips and out my mouth. My answer, or rather lack of one, gained a frown and gentle squeeze on the hand.

"If you ever need to talk about it, I am here. Don't worry about what the others say, what you tell me will never be repeated. I'm your friend Kai. Trust me."

I nodded and watched as a smile graced perfect full lips, my heart fluttered as my saviour winked at me and then turned to return to Tyson's Dojo. I found my breathe return, only to leave me again when enchanting eyes pinned me.

"Tyson and Max have gone to the Arcade, Kenny is at the computer shop. If you want to talk now, we can."

I nod." I'll be there in a moment."

My answer is a nod, I watch as the other enters the house, loose raven hair following after.

I sigh, perhaps I have found my peace, in the eyes of my team mate, my friend, my heart...

Hand in hand, we walk with ease

I look up and smile. I found my grace,

my joy, my love, my peace,

my eternity in an earthbound angels face.

My Rei.

The End

Yup, sappy, sappy, sappy! This is what you get when someone...after three weeks of torture...sits with some hot chocolate, chocolate and watches romances...first for me, honest...with their mom.

The fluff brain thing is thanks to my dear buddy, she uses it to describe anything that looks like Max...don't know why. Read, enjoy, review and make my day.

Here's your teaser:

All three looked at Kai as his pager went off, he checked it then sighed in frustration." I swear you can't leave her for one hour without her tripping up." Tyson grinned." New secretary." Kai growled again then gave each a nod goodbye before he left. "Max, what's this guy like?" Max grinned as he watched their friend drive off." A regular frecracker."

Tyson nodded.

" Good."

Not much I know, but if I gave more I would give it away.