A/N: Yay! A decent sized chapter that was put up less than three days after its predecessor. Although I do question the quality of the content (please feel free to criticise! That's what the review button at the bottom of the page is there for! Remeber, I can't fix the problem unless you tell there is one!)University has started (gasp!) and I'm really hoping to finish Summer's Breath before I get too much homework. I'm not sure if I'll continue on afterwards with a sequel, you will have to let me know (especially after reading the last chapter, which is planned and half written already, as some of you may know).

To the reviewers - Queen of Duct Tape - You will know the answer to your question at the end of this chapter, although I cannot reveal what it's for! The gloves you described were the ones in my head! I'm glad you pictured them the same! LOVE your randomness - I guess maybe last chapter was a bit scattered like that, but hey! It's a reflection of the workings of a regular teenaged mind!

Liveontheedge - I'm really glad you stumbled across my story since I really loved your review. Hopefully I can live up to your expectations and can continue to do whatever it is you find appealing about this story.

NJ! - Always the first to review a new chapter. I really adore you, you know that? ; -P I'm super glad you liked 11, and I hope you fancy 12 just as much!

And although you technically haven't read this far, one day you will and so dreamergirl86 I want to say thank you and I can't wait to hear what you have to say about the rest!

Disclaimer: I have officially run out of creative ways to inform you that I do not own the Harry Potter series. It's a sad world because of this, I know, but hopefully next time I update I will be able to tell you of a tale about a farwaway bean that dreamed about a life where I owned Harry Potter...or not!

Chapter 12 - Perfection

Perfection. That was the one and only word James needed to describe the days between the last and next mirror meeting. That isn't to say that butterflies had invaded his dreams or that his mother had gone without a few more attacks. No, all that usually happened, happened, the only difference was that this time, James felt prepared. Yes, he still found it difficult to see his mom on the bed, screaming in agony. It's just that afterwards, James would go see his fast-becoming best friend, and they would talk about Gwendolyn's episode. James would let everything out, then they'd move on to other subjects.

His fast becoming best friend. James often thought about how he felt about Lily, especially now that they were getting closer, not only in their newfound 'romantic' relationship, but also in their friendship. It was weird, odd, indescribable really how he felt around her. He often thought about Remus and Sirius and Peter and how they would react once he told them that he was finally seeing Lily, and that they were doing things the 'right' way. He wondered if they would be envious of what he had found with this green eyed witch, or whether they would shrug it off as something unworthy of mentioning more than twice. One thing was for sure, though, and that was that James didn't care much about what they would do, he only cared that they would accept Lily the same way they accepted Remus.

One of their favorite topics to discuss, well for James anyway, was Lily joining the Marauders. He almost had her convinced – almost – but there was something that was obviously keeping her away.

"Why do you suddenly want me to join your group?" she had asked accusingly.

"Well, you are, sort of, my girlfriend and all," he had replied uneasily. Nothing had been made official yet, they only sort of sat close together on sofas and they would often hold hands, but nothing had been said about them being officially together.

But after hearing what he had said, she had blushed at his response. At least she hadn't objected. "So? That doesn't mean that I will become best mates with your – er – group!" She was right, of course. Girlfriends were technically forbidden from becoming Marauders, a rule established back in first year. No dating the inner friend circle. Of course, back then, the circle of friends had been slightly larger with at least three girls rounding up the Marauders, but as time had moved on, so had the girls, and the boys were now alone, which they rather preferred. They had concluded that by dating a member of the group, it would be a direct danger to the group harmony and, if a breakup would ever occur, then the group would have to take sides and it was just too much strain to put on their bond.

Ironically enough, that very conversation had also been Mrs Potter's discovery of James and Lily's blossoming relationship. At dinner that night, she had questioned them about it. Ah, she hadn't directly come out and said "You two are dating," but she rather conversationally cornered them into admitting it on their own. Her face had brightened in a very innocent glow as she watched James take Lily's hand underneath the table 'secretly' while he said in a very nervous and uncomfortable way, "I guess Lily and I are sort of, together…in a -err – romantically –"

"What he means, Mrs Potter, is that we're dating." It was so very like Lily. Send subtlety to Azkaban, come straight out and declare it! She was his mother, for Merlin's sake, not a school friend!

Then had come his mother's response. "It's about time you both got your acts together! I figured you'd start dating at most one week into the summer but 'lo and behold! A month later and it's just happened!" She had smirked in that way that all knowing experienced people do.

She had also spent a lot of time talking to Lily. Sure they had been close before, but James figured that his mother, who had never had the opportunity to meet one of his girlfriends before, was now making up for it. James hadn't a clue what they would talk about or do while they were alone together. Sometimes Lily would say things that scared him, things that hinted she knew about certain things no one was supposed to know but his Mum, his Dad, and him. Obviously, he concluded, his favorite Mum had turned into a busy storyteller as of late.

It didn't bother him…much…that Lily spent a lot of time with his Mum. It actually made him smile. His Mum, who had always been surrounded by boys – him, his father, then Sirius – now had a girl to communicate with, and as much as he knew she loved him, James knew that his Mum would have loved to have had a girl as well. But she had been stuck with James and Sirius…and no one really wants to see those two in a dress. Well, hopefully anyway.

What bothered him about their time together was that that meant less time with him. Sure they invited him to join them but he just felt awkward knowing that it was special bonding time between Lily and Gwendy and that having James (who's nickname did not end in "y") in there would sort of be an intrusion on the feminine bonding. So he respected their time together in hopes that when would come the time that he would partake in male bonding that they, too, would respect him and his friends.

Now James sat on the upstairs balcony looking out over the estate. He was trying to figure out if, when his mother would pass away, he would keep it for himself or sell it or turn it into something else. It would be a waste for him to live in it alone, especially that it was so far away from everything else, which, on the other hand, does have its benefits. He stopped his passing glare and fixed his eyes on the dark figures in the garden. Gnomes. He would most certainly have to get those out tomorrow…

Thinking of his mother's death had now become easier as of late. Ever since he and Lily had had a talk about it. She had demanded to know why it was his mother wouldn't just pass away. James had refused to talk about it. What had been said the night his father died had been a secret, a family secret, and although James liked Lily very much, she still, to him, was not Potter-y enough to know the Potter secret. Except the thing with Lily was that she never took 'no' for an answer when she knew hearing 'yes' would suit everyone tenfold better.

"James, your mother's in pain, you know, much more so than my father was, and he suffered for a long while, and all you can do is say, "I don't want to talk about it"? Why not?" She had folded her arms across her chest and had stared at him in a way that had made him feel both inferior and unworthy. It had been an eerie feeling, one that he would not want to experience too often in his lifetime.

"Lily – " he had started but never finished for the sounds coming from his mother's room made him jump and run down the hall to fall in beside her, whispering encouraging words to her once more, holding on to her hand when she held it out for him to hold.

"I love your mother too, James, just know that," she said as she stood in the doorway probably watching him stroking his mother's hand with his thumb. She had stood there for quite some time, actually, and normally James would have been very aggravated. Why would she just stand there? That was what he figured he should have been thinking.

Instead, however, her words kept echoing in his head, almost like a ringing in his ears that didn't want to go away. "I love your mother too, James, just know that." Of course she loved his mother, he never doubted that she did. Even if they had only known each other for a limited time and had already disputed once, he knew that they had grown much closer than he had ever thought possible. His Mum had accepted Lily just as easily as she had accepted Sirius, along with unconditional love. What a mother he had!

Something in his stomach had clenched then and he had felt as though someone had dropped a red hot ball of glass on his stomach and it had been absorbed by his skin. It hurt badly. He looked over to Lily. He had understood what she meant, but did she have any idea about what she was saying? Did she really know and understand what was happening?

She had kept a steady gaze towards him. It was a gaze that told him to think about what was happening, a piercing look that let him know that she had seen everything inside of him and that she was now planning on letting him do something about it. It had been confusing, really, in fact he was still perplexed about it all four days later.

He was sitting on that balcony, waiting for Sirius or Remus or Peter to call upon him on the mirror. The end of summer was fast approaching. His father's birthday hardly a week away. Sure he had spent a very good summer so far, probably one of the best most emotionally gratifying he had ever had, except, a part of him longed to have Sirius come back. He missed him, missed being able to talk to him about things that were irrelevant, such as McGonagall's hat, and yet still manage to talk about that for at least fifteen minutes before remembering how stupid it was to even be thinking about her hat!

Another reason why he wanted to see Sirius so badly was to be able to formally introduce him to his girlfriend. Yes, of course they had met before, but never had they given each other more than a glance or exchanged a few – erm – shall we say not so polite words? He laughed to himself. They would have to get along together, just had to. Lily was going to be Head girl, Sirius would need her to leave Hogwarts as a Legendary King of Pranks and James needed Sirius and Lily to get along so that he can live happily ever after in the midst of his favorite people. He did not worry much about Remus, he was a nice guy who wouldn't really voice strong opinions in the proximity of anyone, and Peter, well, Pete would accept anyone and anything that he and Sirius would accept. That was just the way things worked.

"Prongs?" Ah, at long last, the voice he had been waiting for came from the small object in his robe pocket.

He scrambled around, trying to get a good grip without poking his friend in the eyeball, and placed the mirror in front of him. "Padfoot." It was a happy greeting for he had a ridiculous grin plastered on his face.

The grey eyes looked suspicious. "What have 'ya had to drink, Prongs?" he asked jokingly. James had to admit to himself that he hadn't exactly been joyful during their last meeting.

"Ha, a nice cup of mint tea. You?" he winked at his friend.

"Nothing yet," he replied somewhat somberly. "Mrs Lupin's busy chatting with the neighbors right now. We haven't even had supper yet, James! I'm flipping out here, about to jump off my rocker! I can't wait until next week!" He had a smile on his face. That meant only one thing: trouble.

"I got everything ready. No need to fret about anything. Just make sure you all get here safely." It had been months in the works. He had, of course, completely forgotten about it what with Lily happening and all. But he felt confident that by tomorrow, he'd have all the supplies needed for next week and the week after.

"That's my boy," he mimicked James' Mum's voice. Then his face went serious. "So, any leads on Lily? You got that idea in my head, you know, and I've been altering some of the plans to kind of get around the fact that she won't be in our dorm or anything, and –"

"I believe everything will be great. I actually don't know if we'll need to Marauder-ize her either." He smiled as though Lily had just kissed him.

"Uh erm, James? Quit that please! I'm not liking the look – no, Moony, you should see! He's looking at me all odd –" Sirius was cut off and Remus' face popped up into the mirror.

"I take it things are going well then James ol' friend?" James nodded. He wanted to burst out in feminine giggles and tell them about the bathroom scene, the fact that he had kissed her, that they were regularly holding hands and they hugged each night before bed. But he couldn't. It would sound too prissy, and, let's face it: James did not want to appear like someone's lovesick puppy.

Sirius took over the mirror again and he glowered at his right. He grunted and turned back to James. "So, moving on then, how's Mum?"

James' eyebrows twitched. "She's all right. Same old, same old! You know Mum!" his hands had grown sweaty. Why would Sirius ask about his Mum? Did he know something about anything? Cool yourself, James, it's just normal regular, every day talk. Sirius is not conspiring against you. He repeated that over and over until he felt confident enough to continue. "She can't wait to see you, actually, although she is getting along just fine with Miss Evans." Playing it cool was always the best thing to do around mates.

"That's hem, hem, interesting enough Prongs, but dinner's almost on. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that, well I think I found where I'm going to live. But don't worry, nothing's set for sure. Alph would be genuinely proud of what I found actually." He seemed happy with himself, but James felt what was a twinge of jealousy…or something like it. He'd have to think about it later.

"That's great, mate, really. Can't wait to see it actually. Um, tell Wormtail I say 'hi' and that I passed it too, so now we can all go out together," it was really no big surprise that he had passed his test two days ago, but still, he wanted to remind everyone that he had indeed passed. Not for praise, as would usually be the case, but rather as acknowledgement that they were all officially back on the same level. No one had more privilege than the other. The Marauders were now on the same step.

"Great. Finally! Hopefully you learned your lesson!" James shrugged. Of course he'd learned his lesson, but it didn't mean he wouldn't redo it. He was stubborn that way. Not that he hadn't smacked himself over the head about it repeatedly, of course he did. But, he had also been relieved to see Peter's grateful face after James had told him he'd also failed it.

"Right. Go eat now, I'll talk to you soon."

"Right. Until later, then." The light flickered and Sirius was gone. James concentrated on the feeling he had gotten when Sirius had told him about the place Uncle Alphard would be proud of. He wasn't jealous, he couldn't be. Why would he be jealous of Sirius? Sirius always wanted to have his own home, James had always thought of Sirius as an independent person. He was never one quick to obey authority, having always rebelled against any rule set in front of him. It was just the way Sirius handled things. So if he wasn't jealous, perhaps he was envious?

Well, he would envy his freedom, that's a given. Although, thinking about it, he quickly changed his mind. Staying with his Mum was definitely better than having to find your own house elf to do your bidding, although, with the way Sirius' house elf had made him hate all of its kind, James assured himself that Sirius would not be hiring any elf any time soon.

And then James laughed. Sirius cooking his own food? The thought sounded funny, foreign and even silly. As if Sirius could manage that! Sirius had a hard time waking up in the morning to help James de-gnome the garden. What would he have to do if he had to wake up early to make breakfast?

Ah, but there was the catch. He would get to decide when he wanted to wake up, if he wanted to de-gnome a garden, what else he would do with his day, if he would help anyone peel potatoes. He wouldn't have appointed chores; Sirius would be allowed to turn his place into a pigsty if he wanted, as it would be his place and no one would be able to tell him otherwise.

Liberty. Perhaps that's what was affecting James. Perhaps he also wanted to have that certain liberty of being able to do as you pleased when you wished and however you wanted. No, James again, changed his mind. He liked to rebel, but he also enjoyed conformity. Granted, he had always seen himself as the opposite of Sirius: he liked responsibilities, enjoyed the feeling that he had to carry around other people's weight on his shoulder, enjoyed getting recognition for it… Basically, James knew that the feeling he got whenever he was placed under a tremendous amount of pressure and that somehow he managed to get not only himself but Sirius, Peter and Remus out of trouble (along with whoever else may have been involved) was the best feeling in the world. That and when Lily hugged him.

His thoughts drifted to Lily and he 'hmmm'ed. She, to him, represented everything Sirius resented: commitment, the prospect of responsibility and a potential (gasp!) family. Not that Sirius was a womanizer of any sorts; on the contraire, Sirius never really bothered himself much with women. He had claimed a long while ago that although he liked girls and fancied a few of them, he was not a believer in love nor in relationships. He figured that girls were not only a waste of time, but a waste of freedom. He respected girls as much as he respected James and himself (which is saying a lot), but he also couldn't stand their giggles, their batting their eyelashes at him. Of course, during his pubescent years, all the female attention had made him feel quite important and special, but ever since he had run out on his own family, Sirius had grown tiresome concerning all the attention he received from the Hogwarts' female population.

James smiled at that. He had been rather jealous of Sirius in their younger years. Not that James wasn't handsome; he was just less so than Sirius. Girls paid attention to James because he was on the Quidditch team, because he was the co-leader of his gang, not because he was the best looking. Yes, for a while he had lusted after the same attention Sirius would get – he even tried growing his hair longer to see if it would fall as gracefully as Sirius, and, of course, that project had been a total failure! – and, although he never admitted it, James had sometimes neglected his best mate because of it. He couldn't understand why the grey eyed boy would just shrug off each girls' attempt to 'date' him, not that he hadn't had a few flings, but he always preferred the single life.

Then James had gotten this longing for something more. He had realized that, to him, a fan club would never be enough. James had concluded that his life was meant to be meaningful to someone else, and that someone else would be the person he would spend his entire life with. Which is why he had had fewer girlfriends than Sirius or Peter. He may have had less than them, but he had stuck with one girl for a long time, and then another for a longer period! He preferred long term relationships to short meaningless ones. Sirius, of course, didn't like the term 'relationship' and Peter was most definitely used to get closer to Sirius. At least, that's how James saw it.

Remus. James turned his face back towards the dark mirror showing him his own face and the stars behind his head. Remus was such a shy boy, so hidden, so complex and simple all at once. When he and Sirius had found out about his 'condition', Remus had been petrified. He had claimed that he hadn't told the others because he had feared their reactions! Ha! As if Sirius or he would have backed out or have been scared of him. The Marauders prided themselves on their fearlessness (some would call it recklessness) and they would certainly not give up the chance to wander around with a werewolf. Peter had been hesitant when it had come down to it, but he had quickly gotten over his fear of Remus. Apart from them, however, Remus trusted no one with his secret. He would almost convulse at the mention of anyone else figuring out that he was a werewolf, and James was sure he would die if he accidentally bit someone during their treks. It was a risk they were willing to take, for now anyway. It was better for them all, reassured them of their friendship and their bond, when they would strut in the moonlight in their animal shapes.

For this reason, James figured Remus would probably never settle down with a ladyfriend. He would feel guilty about something he had absolutely no control over. Remus was not comfortable in his skin, that was evident enough, and Sirius and James had sort of embarked on a silent and secret mission to make their friend with the 'furry little problem' accept himself and see himself worthy of anything and everything any normal wizard is entitled to.

"James?" James tucked the mirror in his pocket and turned around to see Lily standing in the doorway. She smiled at him warmly and sat down next to him. "I thought I'd find you here."

"You did?" He wondered why. She only nodded and rested her head against his shoulder. "How's Mum?"

She yawned and replied (almost unintelligibly) "She—aaa is fiiaaaaanne." Pause as she finished. "She's reading now, something about some wizard or another. It's quite fascinating, actually. I read bits and pieces of it and I think you'd even like it."

He grabbed her hand which she was resting against her knee and put his own hand around it. "Sure." He preferred informational books, books that would teach him things like how to make a mandrake go mute for all of eternity…how to defend himself against dark spells, and how to understand the way witches thought – oh wait, no, he had given up on those!

"What were you doing out here before I came?" She took her other hand and placed it on top of James'.

"Just thinking," he replied as he took his other hand and dropped in on top of hers.

"About?" She took her hand (which was now at the bottom of the pile) and brought it on top of his.

He wondered if he should tell her the truth. "My mates." His hand was now freed from the bottom of the pile of hands.

"What about them?" She was back on top.

"Just thinking about how they'll react to you." It wasn't a complete lie. He had planned on driving his thoughts to that track until she had cut him off.

"And how do you suppose they'll react?" It was a curious inquiry. Lily was never one to care much about anyone's reactions.

He continued their hand game. "I think Sirius will have the hardest time with it, actually." Yes, yes he had thought that.

"Why?"

"Because that's just Sirius. You have to understand that he can't understand why I spend my time in relationships. ' Figures life is best when there's nothing holding you down."

"So I'm holding you down?" Darn. He mentally slapped his forehead, but physically placed his hand at the top.

"No. To him, maybe, but to me…you're setting me free." Aww, now wasn't that the sweetest thing to say.

She laughed. Not the reaction he had expected. Actually he hadn't expected anything at all, but a laughter was definitely not considered as happening. "Honestly, what's that supposed to mean?"

James smiled. How naïve of her to forget how badly he had sought after her in their earlier days. How so very negligent of her to forget how easily he could communicate things with her that he had a hard time communicating with himself. Then he remembered that she was not him and thus had no way of knowing. So he told her.

"Really? But I thought Sirius and Peter and Remus Lupin were all really close to you – "

"And they are, no doubt about us being best mates, but…but there's just, there's something that, well…" he didn't know what to say. He didn't feel discomfort with the Marauders, he actually felt like when he was with them he was wearing his most comfortable pair of shoes. But with her, "See, the difference is that, with you, it's like I'm wearing comfortable pajamas. Pants. Pajama pants. And they are my slippers. So you see, I couldn't live without you nor them. It's just a different comfort. On cold stone, I need my slippers, but before bed, I need my pants!" He blushed. That had not been quite what had been in his mind.

"Err – HUH?" She stopped the hand game and stared at his face. He knew she saw his cheeks flush even by moonlight, he felt they were glowing red.

"No, not like that I meant – I mean that it's different with you and with them. Just like hanging out with Peter is different than hanging out with Sirius which is different than being around Remus. Different company means different sentiments, not necessarily preferring one over the other or resenting one, just simply different. So, although Sirius is my best mate, I equally enjoy Remus' company. And then there's being with you. Which also differs from the rest. Which," he mumbled on, "I'm actually glad because it'd be quite awful if I felt the same around you as I do around Peter."

She eyed him a moment longer. "Okay, that makes sense. I mean, I personally did not feel like going to see my friends this summer even though … we didn't exactly spend a lot of quality time together prior to this summer."

"Entirely your fault, by the way," he chirped in.

"What?" she mocked ignorance. "I have no clue what you are hinting at!"

"Stop lying! You wouldn't give me the light of day, a breath of your time. It was always," and here he took on his bed imitation of a very angry Lily Evans, " "Potter! Leave them alone!" or "Potter, you are a selfish bullying wart" or whatever other insults. It was never, "James, please explain to me your reasoning for cornering your fellow student and freezing him to a chair - "

"As if there was a logical reason!" She smiled all the while trying to keep her eyes angry. It made James realize something.

"You think I'm funny!"

She looked in a panic. "Uh, no, sorry to disappoint, Potter, but I don't."

"Yes! You're smiling now!"

"It's 'cus you look funny?" James, ever self conscious around Lily Evans, quickly lost his smile. "I was kidding, James, you look fine." She brought her head back down to his shoulder.

"Just fine or like fiiiiiiiine fine?" he teased her. Loved teasing her, actually, and it was steadily climbing up his favorite things to do list.

She sighed. "How would you like me to respond to that?" She was looking at him from the corner of her eyes. He wiggled his eyebrows. She rolled her eyes. He smiled. She pecked his cheek. He smiled wider.

"That was the perfect reply," he whispered to her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders while wrapping his other hand inside of hers.

"I know." Cocky much? He laughed at his private joke. After a few moments of silence which he used to plan out tomorrow's activities concerning the purchasing of needed equipment, Lily spoke again in a sleepy tone. "James?"

"Hmm?"

"What's the ticket for?"

He smiled and kissed her head of hair. "I promise you that you'll find out, but not today, OR tomorrow," he spoke over her almost objections "or any such day until I reveal it to you."

"But James, it an old Hogwarts Express ticket! What good is it now?"

He simply kissed the top of her head again, smiling at his sheer genius.