I sat on the armchair silently, staring at the phone.
Should I call her…?"No…" I sighed. I have no idea what to do. Hoagie's right. I can't sit here and cry over Kuki. I have to find something that would make me forget her. Once again I pointed my eyes to the phone and thought about whether I should pick it up or not.
Call her…call her…Although my head told me to pick the phone up and call, I found myself unable to move.
What good is dating gonna do for me anyway? I doubt that it would take my mind off Kuki anyway…I closed my eyes and thought about her. The smooth raven hair, the fair soft complexion and the sweet fragrant smell…
"She's perfect…" I whispered, "But I can't have her…"
I opened my eyes once again and looked at the phone. Giving out one final sigh, I stood up and picked it up. And I repeated to myself, "I can't have her…"
Mushi rolled over to the side of my bed after kissing me for an hour straight.
"Wow" She laughed, "That must be the most intense make out I have ever had"
That's right, I asked Mushi out. I know she isn't exactly "other" people for me but I choose her. I'm not planning on going out there and start dating some random girl. I'd rather have Mushi. After all, I've dated her before. I lay there quietly with my hands behind my head while she stared at me.
"You smell better now" She said, "You used to smell like cigarettes but now you smell alright"
I continued to stare at the ceiling. To be completely honest, I didn't care about her.
"Hey" She poked my cheek.
"What?" I snapped.
"What is it with you? You're acting like I'm not even in the room. Earth to Wally, we just made out. Don't forget about me just like that!"
"What do you want me to do?"
"I want you to give me a little bit of attention"
I looked at her while she smiled back. She's such an annoying girl. "Do you have any idea how annoying you are?" I asked her. Like I said, I didn't care.
"I'm pretty aware of that"
Apparently, she didn't care either. I went back to staring at the ceiling, ignoring Mushi's blank stare. It was weird having someone "drool" over me, especially when I didn't care about them at all. As I continued with my worthless staring, Mushi's hand suddenly blocked my view. She started playing with my hair.
"Will you stop that, please?" I said in annoyance.
"Screw you" She replied, "I'll play with your hair if I want to and when I want to"
I turned towards her and watched her smile proudly. She's such a bossy girl and she definitely knows what she wants. I'll have to admit, I found that somehow attractive. So I continued to gaze at this thirteen-year-old Japanese girl. Her looks were nothing like her attitude. She had the fun-loving type of face, but her attitude was too annoying and prankish. Strange though…realizing what Mushi is really like reminded me of what some people once said to me. "A tough girl would be a good match for you" Come to think of it, Mushi is easy to talk to…and I feel completely confident around her.
Why couldn't I love you instead?
"Because everyone always notice Kuki first" Mushi replied.
I felt a bit uneasy after realizing that I said my thoughts aloud.
"It sucks…" She muttered, "People always like her better. I'm just as pretty as she is!"
You over-confident freak…
"Why do guys go for her more rather than me?"
"Because she's a sweet girl" I replied, "And you're a bad-ass slut…"
I turned over and ignorantly buried my face on my pillow while receiving no responses from her. I knew that what I said was offensive but I couldn't care less. While expressing my insensitivity by turning the back of my head on her, I patiently waited for her offended sobs. I didn't receive any. I got a punch instead. Mushi's hit on the back of my head was so sudden that I turned my head sharply at her and stared at her with wide-eyed anger. Yet, she stared back fearlessly with one eyebrow confidently raised. Her fingers tapped on the cushions, beckoning me to apologize. But I didn't. No way…
"Don't ever piss me off like that" I warned her.
"Don't ever call me a slut" She warned me back.
I glared at her, trying to intimidate her with my furious eyes. But inwardly I was amazed, at the same time impressed, by her spunk. Her fingers stopped tapping the cushions. Instead, she placed her cheek in her hand while her arm was balanced by her elbow. She used this gesture to declare the failure of my attempt to "scare" her. Soon enough, I gave up and once again rested my head on the pillow.
"You really are a slut, you know…" I muttered.
"How am I a slut?" She smacked her hand on the back of my head.
"You're asking me that? I just dated you a few months ago and already, you've dated seven guys right after that"
"So? It's not my fault that guys like me. Choosing not to ignore their desire to be with me does not make me a slut"
"Whatever…"For a second she stared at me before speaking again. "Alright, spill" She demanded.
"What?"
"Spill. Tell me everything. I want the truth now"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"You obviously have no interest in me. Why'd you ask me out? I want to hear the reasons right now"
I stared blankly at her. This caused her to sigh and roll her eyes, shaking her head.
"Lemme guess…" She said, "Your failed attempts to charm my sister away from her perfect boyfriend made you desperate for a kiss or two?"
I didn't stop staring at her. Smart little brat…
"I'll take that silence as a yes" She smiled, "I have a solution for you"
"…I'm listening…"
"What do you say about…sort of dating? As in a fake relationship?"
"What?"
"As in we can make out and stuff but the relationship can never go serious. No feelings and all that other crap"
"What the hell am I gonna get outta that?"
"You will have the kisses that your sorry little heart had been pathetically longing for" She mocked, "And I will get a high school boyfriend. You were, after all, the most decent guy I have ever dated"
I stared at her, thinking about it. It was pretty clever…so I agreed to her. Instead of having a handshake to close our deal, we had another make out session instead.
"Are you stupid or something?" Hoagie gasped in the lowest voice that he could, "Mushi?"
"So what?" I whispered back. We both had to keep our voices down because we were in the clubhouse and we didn't want anyone in the gang to hear us.
"I don't get it" Hoagie said, "Of all the girls who are after you, why Mushi?"
"She and I get along pretty well"
"She's a pre-teen, Walls"
"And you're evil"
"Evil? Me? You're the first one to call her a pre-teen. You called her that ages ago!"
"Well she's a lot more mature than I thought"
"Childish, mature, whatever. She's still Mushi"
"What about Mushi?" Kuki jumped on the cushion behind me happily, "What about my sister?"
I turned my head around and looked at her. Her cute, goofy and curious smile was as still as a photo while she waited for an answer. I knew that if I looked at Hoagie, he'd gesture something to me, and urge me to keep my mouth shut. But seeing Kuki made it difficult for me to shut up.
"I'm dating her again…" I said.
What happened next caused a whirlpool of shock and confusion within me. Kuki's smile stiffened a bit. I completely lost myself after seeing that. Everything around her and me turned black and all that I could see was her and her fake smile. It seemed like an eternity while we stared at each other. And when the moment ended, I found myself shocked, confused and somehow…amused… Seeing her stiff smile not only expressed her intimidation unintentionally but it also made me long for more of it. Since then, I not only wanted to hurt Kuki. I wanted to make her jealous.