Hehe, it's been a while. Sorry 'bout the HUGE delay. Just wanna let you guys know that the reason it took a while is because I worked on chapter 15 a bit before working on this one. Sorry. Haha, anyway here's chapter 14. I wanna warn you guys that this one's corny though. I kinda didn't feel like writing it. ANyway, here it is.

Ironic

During the time that passed after the Holloween party, I hardly hung out with the gang because I didn't want to see Kuki. Lucky enough, she was never there during the times I chose to come to the clubhouse. And since Mushi was busy with Sandy, I had no other people to hang out with other than my own family. Meanwhile, I held on to the feather that I found at the party. I tried to throw it away loads of times but I couldn't, even though it painfully reminded me of Kuki. Thinking of her was a combination of torture and pleasure. Along with the hate that I felt, the love came along. I couldn't understand how it was so hard for me to just stop loving her.

I sat quietly in the armchair, staring blankly into space. The thick silence echoed around the house as I could only hear the vague voices from my family upstairs. Stop loving her…I thought to myself. I bowed my head hopelessly for a minute before reaching into my pocket and pulling out the feather. I gently closed my eyes as I gracefully brushed its tip upon the bridge of my nose. The image of Kuki appeared in my mind and it made my heart feel soothed, at the same time crushed. Love her…Or forget about her…?

"Forget" I whispered, "Definitely forget"

The doorbell suddenly rang, slicing through the silence that once filled the room. I stood up lazily and answered it only to find a full-grown woman standing there, holding the hand of a familiar little girl.

"Hi, you must be Wally" She said, "Joey's big brother?"

"Yeah" I said, finally realizing that the little girl is Nicky, Joey's little girlfriend.

"I'm Nicky's mom. I'm here to drop her off to play with him"

"Alright" I allowed Nicky to come in and bid her mother goodbye before urging her to sit on the couch. "Joey, Nicky's here!" I yelled.

"Okay!" Joey yelled back from upstairs, "I'll be down in a minute!"

I sat once again on the armchair and let out a big sigh. It didn't take more than two seconds for me to see that Nicky was smiling at me.

"What are you smiling at?" I asked her.

"You're cute" She said.

"Aren't you a little bit too young to be gawking at guys?"

"What's gawking?"

"…Nothing…"

She stood up and approached the armchair, resting her elbows on the armrest and cradling her chin in her hands. A dreamy curiosity gently glowed in her wide, innocent eyes as she stared at me. "Do you have a girlfriend?" She asked me out of the blue.

"I used to. Why?"

"What's falling in love like?"

I was caught off guard by her bizarre question. "It's complicated"

"What does compacadid mean?"

Her mispronunciation made me laugh a bit. "It's when things are so hard to understand. Why are you asking me about love anyway?"

"I was just wondering what falling in love is like. Cinderella looked really happy when she fell in love with Prince Charming" She giggled.

"That's because Cinderella didn't have to choose between a Prince and a Pauper…"

She looked at me strangely, obviously baffled by my response. Before either of us could utter another word, Joey came running down the stairs. And as if I wasn't in the room, they minded their own business and happily sat on the couch, watching TV together.

Five minutes later, the doorbell rang again and I answered it. "Hey Hoagie" I greeted my visitor.

"Hey" He came in, "Who's that with Joey?"

"My future sister-in-law"

"Oh. Nicky" He laughed.

We went to the kitchen and hung out there to give Joey and Nicky some "Alone Time".

"You're brother is making a move on his five-year-old girlfriend" Hoagie laughed as he spied on them.

"What?"

"Look! He's holding her hand!"

"Leave my brother alone" I threw a bag of chips at him.

He laughed and opened the bag of chips only to start devouring its contents. "So how are things going with you, Mr. Outcast?"

"Alright. Still trying to get rid of the evil witch who cursed her own image into my mind and heart"

"Come on, Walls. She's not evil"

"Right, she's just a witch"

Hoagie stared at me blankly and sighed. "Aren't you supposed to be the guy who's desperately in love with her?"

"I used to be…until that stupid bitch screwed me over…"

He continued to stare at me, obviously still unable to believe in my anger. All of a sudden, he gave out a huge sigh. "Alright, I have some not-so-good news for you"

"What?"

"She knows that you and Mushi are over"

I leaned back and sighed heavily. "Since when…?"

"Last week"

"Great…I guess now she sees how pathetic I am…"

"You exaggerate too much"

"I don't exaggerate at all"

"Oh well. What'd you expect? They're sisters and practically best friends. It's expected for Kuki to find out that you and Mushi are over"

"Yeah…" A brief silence passed by before I spoke again, "Am I completely incapable of finding happiness?"

"Don't punish yourself just yet. I have more news"

"Go ahead. I'm listening"

"Which one first? Good news or bad news?"

"Bad"

"Bad news is, Kuki told Chad about your complicated love thing with her. So I guess you should expect something from Chad any time soon"

"Great…does he know that we did it with each other?"

"Don't think so"

"…This is a good time to tell me the good news, Hoagie"

"Oh. Right. The good news is, Kuki's not doing so well either"

I looked at Hoagie curiously. "What are you talking about?"

"She's been pretty depressed lately. You both have"

"What?"

"I don't know what happened between you two at the party but you're both bummed out. That's how Chad found out about your thing with Kuki. He's been worried about her so she told him why she was so depressed"

I sat there quietly, as I thought of Kuki. I'm not supposed to care that she's depressed. I got off the counter top and threw the Coke can I was holding into the trash. Then I turned to Hoagie and asked him, "You wanna go to the clubhouse?"

Ten minutes later we were at the clubhouse and things went the way I wanted them to. Kuki was there. Everyone else felt awkward to have us both in the same room but I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. The moment Hoagie and I entered the clubhouse, I greeted everybody like I normally would and simply sat on the couch. And it just so happens that Kuki sat on the opposite end. There we were, two feet apart, victimized by the awkward stares of our very own friends. I took a second to look at Kuki and looked away again. Although I had only seen her for merely two seconds, I saw how Hoagie was right about her. She was depressed too. The usual glow on her face was absent and the sparkle in her eyes was dim. She was completely the opposite of her usual self. Truth be told, I didn't come to enjoy watching her misery. I came to see Kuki because I wanted to see if she was alright. It sucks to admit it but I still care about her. And I have to lie about my feelings even to myself.

"Um, I'm gonna go get some snacks from the house" Nigel said.

"We'll help you" Abby and Hoagie said, suspiciously in unison, and they all disappeared. By then, Kuki felt so tense that I actually thought I could hear her nervous heart beat. In order to ease the tension, I reached for the remote control and switched the TV on. The moment it came on, my most hated song played. Rainbow monkeys, rainbow monkeys, oh so very round and super chunky... I narrowed my eyes in disgust at the pathetic cartoon.

"It's your favorite" I muttered. Although I didn't look at her, I knew Kuki was watching. She never got over her obsession for rainbow monkeys. She still has hundreds of them in her room and she still goes to the Rainbow Monkey theme park very often. Everyone's made from a big rainbow! Oh red and orange, and pink and blue… I continued to torture myself with the horrible song. Tired of watching the stupid show, I turned my head to look at Kuki. The smile was just about to appear on her face as she watched the cartoon but she suddenly saw me staring. Almost immediately she frowned and looked away. Without taking my eyes off her, I turned the TV off with the remote control. There it was again…the uneasy beating of her heart.

"Relax, it's not like I'm gonna rape you" I said to her, "…Are you alright?"

She didn't answer me, nor did she look at me. I slowly scooted over to her, making myself comfortable on the spot by her side. Still, she ignored me.

"You're still pretty even when you're pouting" I told her.

"Don't talk to me" She said lowly without looking at me, "You're supposed to hate me"

"I still do. I'm just telling you that you're still pretty even when you pout"

"…What do you want, Wally?"

"Nothing…"

"You wouldn't be talking to me unless you wanted something"

"Right…whatever…" I said blankly and moved back to the far opposite end of the couch. Another moment of silence passed by. Soon I decided to taunt her by stretching my arm and resting it on the arch of the couch, where I pretended to accidentally reach on to her hair. Gently, I took the ends of some strands and started to twist them. She responded by tucking her hair away from my reach. I turned my head towards her and stared. She sat quietly still, avoiding my eyes. Slowly, I reached further until I could touch her hair again.

"Stop it!" She snapped at me.

I stared at her for a second, somehow annoyed by her extreme effort to defend herself from me. "I just came to see if you're alright…"

She didn't answer.

"Hoagie told me about how you've been feeling lately. I wanted to see if you're alright"

"Yeah right…"

"Are you gonna be that bitchy forever?"

"I'm not being bitchy"

"No, you just hate me"

I saw her tremble slightly. And she whispered, "I don't…I don't hate you…I love you…"

I turned to look at her and saw that she started to weaken. Tears started to appear in her eyes as she turned away and stood up. She paced around behind me and in no time, she started crying. I didn't bother to turn to her. All I did was listen.

"I'm so tired of all this" She choked between her cries. "I don't know what to do…I don't know who to choose…"

The sound of her suffering was causing me pain, yet I've learned to endure this agony without having to break down and cry. All I did was sit there and I allowed the pain to overcome me. Finally, I stood up and went to her. By then she was having such a hard time that she had collapsed on the floor, as if too weak to stand. Without showing a single clue of the agony inside me, I stood before her, overshadowing her. Gently I reached down and pulled her up to her feet. I embraced her, gently shushing her as I stroked her hair. A part of me pitied her. She was such a fragile person, and this level of pain was already killing her. To think what might happen if she felt my pain…

She pulled away gently and looked at me. She didn't know how much I struggled to look back at her directly. All of a sudden, she pressed her lips against mine. I didn't kiss her back. But I didn't pull away from her either. I just stood there as if nothing was happening. When she pulled away I stared at her blankly, while she looked into my eyes and my lips. She then rested the side of her head on my shoulder. We both stood there in each other's arm. She was clearing her mind while I was ignoring the voices screaming from inside. In no time I gave in to temptation and reached onto the buttons of her shirt and started to undo them. I've only gotten to the fourth button when she stopped me.

"No…" She whispered.

I didn't want to listen to her. So I continued to undo her shirt. She had to force me to stop.

"Wally, no…!" She slapped my hand away.

I took a few steps back and gently leaned on the couch. "I wish people could just for once forget about feelings and get laid…love sucks…" I meant that as a joke but it came out as something more of an attempt to seal my anger. I was so focused on my own rage that I didn't see the pained look on her face.

"Is that what all this means to you…?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're telling me that you're just some horny freak…" She said sadly and angrily.

"Believe me, I wish I could just be some sex-crazed maniac…" I said to her, "it hurts much more to be jealous than to be lustful…" My hands were completely shaking by then. I didn't realize how angry I was until I unwittingly grabbed a wooden chair and slammed it on the floor. Both of us, Kuki and I, were shocked by what I had done.

"Damn, I wish I could break the two of you apart" I said calmly, "Maybe I should tell him about that night we-"

"Wally!" She yelped.

I stared at her with half lit eyes, hiding the anger, pain and melancholy.

"Don't tell him that…it'll hurt him…"

"You wouldn't prick him with a needle yet you would gladly stab me with a knife…I thought you loved me?" I slowly walked towards her and leaned closer. "Why don't you just kill me, you whore" The pain she felt overcame her and she smacked me with her hand. I was shocked by what she did but I didn't show it. I didn't move until she ran out the door.

"Ironic…" I whispered to myself as I stood in front of some stranger's house, staring at the lights that surrounded it. It's true. Things are ironic at this moment. Christmas is coming up and I'm surrounded by houses, beautifully ornamented with Christmas lights and decorations. Normally the sight of them would've made me smile, but I couldn't. I was in a happy place, yet I felt completely miserable. It was, indeed, ironic…

I walked through the empty streets, trying hard not to think of Kuki. So I focused on the freezing, shadowy paths before me. They resembled the ones in thriller movies. All that was missing was a maniac following me from behind, waiting for the right time to kill me. I gave out a small laugh and the cold white smoke blew from my mouth. It was getting colder by the minute and I couldn't wait to get home. I continued to walk briskly, minding my own business when all of a sudden, something made me turn around. It was a sound of footsteps, tapping along with mine. I looked around and found nothing and the mysterious footsteps also disappeared. I turned around and continued once again. By then I no longer laughed at the streets' resemblance to movie settings. It's not like it's not possible for serial killers to be roaming around town. I turned around sharply. I heard it again. I heard the footsteps that followed me, this time I knew they were real. I didn't bother to find out the identity of the idiot who was trying to scare me. "The sooner I get home, the better" I said to myself. Again I walked, listening closely for the footsteps. They were gone. Now there was nothing more but cold silence. At first I thought this was a relief but as the stillness grew thicker I found myself becoming more and more anxious every second. Soon enough I was pacing faster and becoming desperate to get home safely. As if it wasn't scary enough, the footsteps that I heard before started again. They were marching faster and I could hear them getting closer. I didn't dare to look behind me, out of fear of what I may find. All I did was try to escape. I may be known as a tough guy but here where it seems hopeless to put up a fight, I'd rather get away. It came to the point when I was about to break into a run when a strong hand suddenly grabbed me on the shoulder. On impulse, I turned around sharply and smacked it off my shoulder. That was when I saw the face of my "killer" and felt embarrassed with myself. Although I was shocked to find that Chad was the one following me, I still took time to breathe and calm myself down. When I was able to catch up with my breath, I looked at him strangely.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"I need to talk to you" He said, "It's about Kuki"

I rolled my eyes at him and turned around. After giving out a fumed sigh, I replied. "What about her?" And I started walking.

"She told me about what's going on with you two" He explained as he followed me.

"And?"

"I just want you to tell me your side of the story. What's really going on?"

"Don't you get it? I'm in love with your girlfriend"

"If you love her then why are you giving her a rough time?"

"Because she's stupid"

"But you love her, don't' you?"

I stopped for a second and so did he. Those words stabbed through me painfully but I chose to ignore the pain. "Why won't you let me forget about her? She chose you alright? So leave me alone…" I continued to walk. But what he said stopped me again.

"Have you ever thought that maybe the reason why you can't forget her is because your not meant to?"

I turned around slowly to face him.

"She still loves you, Wally. I can tell. She's always happier when you're around and everything you do affects her"

My hands were trembling but it wasn't because of the chilly weather. It was because of what he told me. Despite the relief inside, I couldn't possibly accept what he told me. It's too late. I don't want to have anything to do with this anymore. "Too bad" I said to him.

"What do I have to do to prove how much she loves you?"

"Why are you defending her? She's not worth it, Chad! She cheated on you!" I watched the pain overcome his face. But things weren't what they seem.

"I know that"

"What?"

"She told me…and I forgive her"

His answer made me laugh sarcastically. "You are more stupid than I thought, Chad"

"What are you saying?"

"Moron! Your girlfriend slept with someone else! She cheated on you and you don't care?"

"I do care. I just happen to love her so much that I'm willing to forgive her for everything she does"

I looked at him in disgust. "I can't believe you're letting her do this to you"

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You've been going through a lot of things yet you still love her!"

"I love her as much as I hate her"

I turned around and walked away from him. I've only taken a few steps when he said something that caused me to stop dead between my steps.

"Why are you making her suffer?" He said to me from behind. I stood there in disbelief. Slowly, I turned to him once again and I said, "What?"

"Why are you making her suffer?"

"Suffer? Making her suffer?" I glared at him for a minute before approaching him angrily. When I was close enough, I furiously lifted up my sleeve and showed him my arm. I pointed to different scars and told him about each one. The first one that I showed him was the small burns by my hand. "This is a burn from the time I accidentally hurt myself with a cigarette" Chad looked at the scare in shame. After that, I placed my hand on the side of my waist, "This is where a bruise used to be from when I got drunk and fell" Finally, I showed him my dreadful scar of all. I rolled up my sleeve and held my palm face up. "This…" I pointed to a faint line across my wrist, "…this is my most recent scar. I tried to kill myself because of Kuki"

Chad looked at me as if to say that he didn't know what to think. His silence was acceptable to me.

"Go to Kuki and search her whole body" I said to him, "If you find at least one of these scars on her, then you can tell me that I'm making her suffer"

"Wally, those scars only prove more of how much you love her…"

What he said was true. I knew that perfectly well but I refused to accept it. So I turned around and walked away. This time I thought he was finally going to let me go but he didn't.

"What do you want me to do Wally? Do you want me to break up with her?" He called, "She obviously loves you a lot more that she loves me. If it'll make things easier I'll just end our relationship"

I looked at him in shock and anger. Next thing I knew, I approached him and grabbed his shirt. Despite him being bigger than me, I was able to lift him up and shove him against a tree trunk near by.

"She loves you" I told him, "If you even dare to break her heart, I swear I will kill you with my bare hands"

"Don't you get it?" He calmly said back, "I already broke her heart when I took her away from you…"