His mind was shaken up by a hand that was placed on his shoulder. He looked up, without trying to move, he didn't want to wake Sara. He saw that Catherine was standing next to him, for some reason her attitude seemed calm, without emotion. She looked at him, with a glance that was full of pity.
"Gil... she passed away..."
He tried not to look at Sara's face, afraid of what he would see when he did. He remained silent, knowing that Catherine was right. But she was still warm, she didn't feel dead. He knew that rigor mortis, or the cold feeling of a dead body, made its entrance later, but he didn't want to think about it. She felt alive, she was still with him, she was not dead. He shook his head, and looked a Catherine.
"She isn't... she can't be"
Catherine touched his hair. "I'm sorry... she is. I'm so sorry, Gil"
His eyes moved to Sara. She was lying there peacefully; it was almost like she was asleep, except that she was not breathing anymore. His hand touched her neck, and he felt that her heartbeat was absent. For some reason, this thought made him calm. There was nothing to fight anymore, she died a natural death, without pain, she just fell asleep. He had told her what he felt, she had accepted it. It hadn't been too late for his confession. It was okay.
He let her go and laid her on the bed, he wanted her to lay as comfortable as possible, though he knew that she wouldn't feel it anymore. Her eyes were closed; the expression on her face was calm. He stood up and walked towards Catherine. "We should tell the doctor that she passed away" He almost walked out of the room, but Catherine stopped him, by sticking out her hand to him.
"My condolences I... I... don't know what to say... let me warn the doctor, you can stay with her"
He was glad that she was with him, she seemed to have this situation under control, but when he looked closer, he saw that she was about to cry too. He nodded at her and placed himself in the chair, next to Sara, again. He touched her head, brushed the hairs out of her face. He was used to working with dead bodies, but he had rarely worked with the bodies of people he knew. He still heard her voice in his head, and saw her face in his mind, smiling Sara, when she had discovered evidence. He even remembered her, flirting with him. Her bright personality that lighted up the darkness of the night, it was all gone. And with her, he was gone. He didn't know how to go on with his life without her.
"Grissom... promise me... that you won't give up. Go... on with... your life..."
How? How could he just go on with life, when she was not there anymore? He needed her, he realized it, and he didn't think that he could make it without her. His life has ended this night, she has taken it with her to... to where? He used to believe in an afterlife, he was brought up as a Catholic, but he had seen too much grief, in victims, the surviving relatives, even the persons who committed the crime. He didn't believe in one god that decided anything, and he didn't believe in a heaven. But he wanted to believe that she was in a better place, which would ease his mind. He didn't know if he could believe it.
A doctor entered the room; it was another doctor than the doctor he had seen. She walked to Sara, looked at her and came closer to the bed, without pulling Grissom away. She placed the pads that lead to the monitor on Sara's chest and checked the monitor. When she heard a monotone beep, she took her pen and wrote something down. "Time of death, 1.48 am." She muttered the words.
The doctor walked to them, and shook the hands of both Grissom and Catherine. "I'm really sorry." She opened the door and left the room.
"I think I should call the lab... they don't know what happened"
Grissom didn't do anything to stop her, he couldn't speak, he felt that his voice was stuck in his throat and there was nothing he could do about it. He nodded and looked at her when she left the room.
Catherine walked to the hallway. It had all been so fast... yesterday she was still alive, working on her case, she had seen her smile, and now, she was dead, only a covering, without a soul. It wasn't Sara anymore. I have dealt with death so many times, but you never got used to it. She didn't know what to do with Grissom, she couldn't read his emotions, but she knew that he felt so many things right now. He was having a hard time, and she wanted to comfort him. She didn't know how, she couldn't bring her back...
She stood in the hallway and walked to the phone. She dialed the number of Brass' cell phone.
"Detective Jim Brass."
"Jim... it's me... I... I... Sara... she passed away..."
"Whát? What happened?"
"I… I don't know… Gil was with her in the hospital when I arrived. She… she died in his arms… she was ill…"
"O God… Ehm… I… I'll be right there…"
"No, Jim, please stay there… there's nothing you can do here… just… I need to call the others… I need to go…"
She hung up and dialed the number of Warrick's cell phone. He was working on a case with herself, Nick was not with him. Warrick was usually cool in these circumstances; at least she hoped that he would be calm.
"Brown"
"War… it's me. I… I have-"
"Is it Sara? It's Sara, right? How is she? Is she okay?"
Catherine felt her tears and let a single sob go out of her mouth. She swallowed her tears back, and closed her eyes, searching for an answer.
"Cath? She's not…"
Catherine nodded and then realized that he couldn't hear it. "I'm really sorry... she passed away..."
Silence fell between them. After a while, she heard his whispering voice.
"How? When? Is there anything I can do right now?"
She shook her head. "She... she had some kind of disease... she died peacefully. There's nothing you can do, please stay there, you can't do anything for her, she's gone, War... I... I got to go... I have to call Nick..."
"Cath? Please, take care of yourself…"
Catherine laid her hand on the hook and called the number of Nick's cell phone. This would be the worst conversation, she knew that. Nick was Sara's best friend; they were like brother and sister. She prepared herself for the heartbreaking talk she was going to have, but her thoughts were abruptly broken by the words at the other side of the connection.
"Stokes."
"Nick it's me..."
"Hey Cath… what do you need?"
"I… Nick… I don't know how to say this…"
"You can ask me anything, you know it… Don't worry…"
The happiness of his sound made Catherine so sad, she wouldn't know how he would take this news, probably very badly. He obviously doesn't know anything, Warrick hasn't called him. She only told Warrick that she was leaving to go to the hospital, she couldn't reach Nick, and beside that, it only would have taken too much time to call him. Now she felt sorry that she hasn't warned him before she left.
"Nick... can you please sit down?"
"Why, what's going on? You can tell me, Catherine…"
"Nick… Sara… she's in the hospital… she… she…"
She was really crying now, and there was nothing that could stop her. Nick waited patiently until she was done. She swallowed a couple of times and dried her tears.
"Cath… what's going on? What's wrong with Sara?"
"She's dead… she passed away half an hour ago…"
The connection broke suddenly, and left Catherine with the phone in her hand. She didn't call him back; she knew that that wouldn't make any sense. She sighed and walked back to the room where they would be. She knew she had to arrange things, and they couldn't lose time now.