A/N: Not really in the mood for making an A/N, but I'll give it a go. I hope I won't disappoint you with this. Another chapter will follow, my last. Chapter 7, 7 is a magic number. I want to thank Lost November and Butterfly Of Darkness. And everyone who reviewed and read this. Please leave a review for me, everything is welcome. :)

Chapter 6

Everyone was there, everyone she had cared about. No suits and no long, black dresses. Sara had asked them not to wear these clothes. She hadn't wanted it to be sad, which was impossible, but at least the choice of clothes was not funeral-like.

They were talking and small groups of people were standing in circles, quietly waiting for the doors to the auditorium to open. Not really silent, some of them were whispering words, others were wiping away their tears, the wrinkling sounds of the tissues were barely audible. The uncomfortable feeling was vibrating all around.

Most people though, were looking around. There was a small row of people who were signing the guestbook. Tears, some of them filled with black traces of mascara, fell on the white paper like raindrops on the bricks after a hot day.

She opened the door with her right hand. Nobody noticed that she was there, at least no-one looked up and greeted her. She turned around and mirrored herself with the glass from the window. Looking herself over, she nodded to her reflection. Her hands moved to the underpart of her black jacket and pulled at the fabric. She tossed her hair behind her ears and sighed.

Catherine closed her eyes and faced herself again. Right, she whispered inside. She knew that she had to be calm today, she probably would be the only one who could hold the facade of coolness and calmness, or at least tried to do so. She turned around, and started to look for the ones she was searching for.

She let her eyes glance around the room. There were the guys, standing in a triangle. They weren't talking as they used to do, no laughing, no animated gestures, nothing. No silence either, they were whispering things, it seemed that they were digging up old memories. Greg was talking and Warrick and Nick were nodding, quick smiles were shared. But it was nothing like the time they spent together. The atmosphere was black.

Greg was wearing a purple shirt with black trousers, Nick wore black pants as well with a black shirt, coloured up with red sleeves and Warrick had his green buttoned shirt and also black trousers. She smiled to the guys, and her eyes met Greg's. He shared a nod with her, just a nod but his smile made her feel better: it was a real smile, not a forced one.

Thank you, Greg. That's what I needed.

But the guys weren't the one she was looking for. She looked around longer, and saw everyone, except for him. She shared glances with Brass, who nodded sincerely at her. For one moment, she was afraid that he hadn't come at all, that it was just too hard for him. But then she saw him, standing in the corner, back to the crowd, face to the wall.

Catherine sighed and walked over to him. Thoughts quickly passed her mind, but she couldn't find any sentence that suited the atmosphere of this moment. 'I'm sorry for your loss' would sound too formal. Grissom never had been a person who liked sentimental things, so she didn't know how far she could go. The clapping sound of her heels reached him, but he still hadn't noticed her, at least his attitude did not change.

She placed her hand on his shoulder, and whispered his name. He didn't move, it was almost as if he hadn't noticed her at all, but slowly he turned around. She could see that it moved him a lot, but the look in his eyes was an empty one. Shock, she thought.

"Hey... I just wanted to... you okay?"

Brilliant movement, Cath, brilliant. Of course he is not fine, she thought.

He didn't seem to notice the meaning of her words, so she tried again. This time she didn't try to think, she just let her mind speak for her.

"Gil? I... I don't know what to say, I just wanted... I just... I'm so... I'm so sorry for... everything... you know that I am here, for you?"

He stared down for a very long time, then nodded. "Thank you", he whispered, barely audible. Though, the expression in his eyes didn't change while saying it.

She found it extremely hard to be here, not-knowing what to do, not having any clue about what was right and what was wrong to say right now. She swallowed and doubted if she would give him a hug or not. She looked at him, and decided not to: he wouldn't appreciate it today, the look in his eyes was dead, the glinster had ended.

She feared that, if he couldn't let it go, it would never come back. That the Grissom she knew died the night she had died.

Just when she wanted to say something, she heard some commotion behind her. She spun around as quick as she could and her eyes quickly scanned the room.

What happened?

Then she saw it. Nick was standing against the wall, breathing heavily.

What the hell happened to him?

She rushed to him, and moved through the small crowd that surrounded him. He had closed his eyes and couldn't stop shaking his head. He was whispering words Catherine could not hear. Her glance met Warrick's and she smiled to him.

"What happened?" Only her lips moved, she did not speak out loud.

Warrick shrugged his shoulders and turned to Nick again. "Come on, we're going outside."

He touched Nick's shoulder and lead him out. Looking over his shoulder, he smiled to Catherine. She knew that she should better leave them alone right now, being there wouldn't make any sense: she would only make things worse. Catherine decided to sign the guestbook before the doors opened.

The two men sat down on the stairs in front of the auditorium. There was a small space of privacy between them, but you could see that they cared a lot about each other. Nick was still shaking his head, emptyness filled his eyes.

Warrick was waiting for him to give a sign that he was ready to talk again. He was watching the Texan next to him with care. They all cared about Sara in their own special way, Warrick knew that, but Nick was like her twin-brother, that was the kind of relationship those two had.

He himself had a more difficult relationship with Sara, which hadn't started that well. But, even though he seemed to take it well, he missed her terribly. The things she said, the way she said things... it would never be there anymore.

Nick moved his glance to him and dried his eyes with his arm. "I just realized... I just thought that... that it would never be this... way... anymore. I remembered... I suddenly heard her say something... you know those... little arguments we had, just teasing. The time she and I... when she got the best cases and I was jealous of her... because she could work solo and I couldn't... The time she asked me if I prefered leather or lace... The glares I got from her... I will never get them anymore. I just realized that... and I can't... I miss her so much."

Rawness filled his voice and shortly after these words, a deep silence fell betweem them. Warrick was thinking what he should say to Nick. Of course: no words could heal the wounds, and he doubted if time could, but he had to calm him down.

"I know... I know. I miss her too... but there's nothing that we can do."

Warrick took the funeral card. "You know what you're going to say?"

Nick nodded and looked at the paper he got out of his pocket. "Yeah, I have written some things down... but I really don't know... I don't know if I can do it. You know, she'll be gone, really gone when I say those words."

He looked over the lawn and smiled. "Everytime I think she's still here. I just can't believe she's gone, really gone…"

There she was. Lying on the white sheets on the inner side of the coffin. He didn't feel sadness when he looked at her now. He didn't feel sadness when he woke up from his thoughts next to her. His arms still holding her dead body. It was just a void, a great emptiness that filled his head.

She had held him in her posession. The dazzling woman, so full of life and laughter. She had guided him to a world where no one had taken him before. She didn't know it, but she had him. With the way she phrased, the way she told him things. In the way she walked, in the way she lingered in the doorway of his office. She never that she had him. And she would never know.

She was his world. And it ended.

She didn't look dead. She looked like a waxen doll from Madame Tussauds. In a scientific way he knew that he wanted her not to look like a dead body, that because he wanted her to wake up and walk over to him.

He didn't want to think about the science anymore.

He looked in his hand. The letter. All these days he had tried to open it and placed it at the table again. It almost had become a ritual. He had to open it before the ceremony started, he wanted to know what words she had to say to him before he told her his good-bye.

He torn the upper side of the envelope with his index finger and got the letter out of the covering.

Grissom,

I know that, when you are reading this, something has happened to me. I'm writing this letter because I want you to know some things. Things that are important to me.

When we first met, at that seminar in Berkely, I noticed you. You told me about making timelines, bugs, DBs. I wanted you to notice me. I wanted you to see me like no one that you've before.

I think I've fallen in love for the first time. The time we spent together there, it meant so much to me. I loved your comments, your intelligence. I loved the way you looked at me, it made me feel warm and cold at the same time. You could see right through me and I think that scared me.

Years went by and I tried to forget you. I think I failed because when you called me to come to Vegas, I didn't doubt. Not even one second. I wanted to be near you, to prove to you that I was much more than the student I was back then.

It seemed that I failed, otherwise you wouldn't have read this letter. I just want to tell you that I always loved you. I know that it probably doesn't matter anymore. Please, don't feel sorry for me. Don't feel guilty. Things are the way they are probably for a good reason. There's nothing that can change history. Don't let it affect the future.

I will love you, no matter where or how.

Sara

A/N: More will come soon. Rest of the funeral will be in chapter 7. Thank you :)