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AFFECTIONS OF IDENTICAL TWINS
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Summary: You'd think Fred and George were identical to the last freckle. Well, they are not. FW/HG, GW/HG.
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3. In which the twins' affections attain their culmination
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He had never willingly gotten drunk. The few times that had happened – it had just been the 'euphoria' of the moment. He had never drunk because he was miserable. And "miserable" was just the sentiment that described him the best right now.
It was so unbearable to even think about Angelina and not feel as if… as if he had made the greatest mistake of his life. He was truly wretched. He hadn't wanted to hurt her like he had. But… there had been no choice. As he had told Lee, Angelina deserved better.
On the other hand, he wasn't sure of what he deserved. Presently, he felt like he deserved nothing. For some time, he wondered if it would have been better if he had overcome his Hermione-fixation and had just remained with Angelina.
Somehow, he didn't want that either although leaving Angelina made him feel very bad indeed. Not at all as he had thought it would make him – free. Instead, he felt shackled by this action. He couldn't let it "go". Much as he didn't want to, he couldn't stop thinking about it.
So he had headed to the Hog's Head in the age-old attempt to forget his sorrows – if only for a few hours. It worked after a while. He slipped into oblivion after the third bottle of Firewhiskey. The bar-owner, who knew that the red-head wasn't any common vagrant, levitated him up to a room. He would obtain payment from him the first thing in the morning.
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Hermione sat in the kitchen alone, staring at her sandwich, but not really wanting to eat. She had been feeling sick for some time for past few days. She would go and see some Mediwitch tomorrow.
At the moment, she was thinking about George and Angelina. She couldn't believe that they had broken up. They had seemed so… happy and content together. No big fights as they really suited well to each other. And then… George broke up with her just a month prior to the wedding. Because there was someone else.
She wasn't sure that she felt sorrier for Angelina or angrier with George. How could he do that to her?
And yet… George really wasn't that kind of a man. It was certainly very out of character for him. He was so like Fred – and she was very sure that Fred won't do anything like that to her.
She wondered if there was some other matter which George was hiding with the old excuse of "there's someone else"… or maybe she just didn't want to believe that George won't do a thing like that. He, being an identical twin to Fred and all…
She sighed as she went upstairs. She was feeling a little woozy and decided to rest for a while. George and Angelina breaking up had affected everybody very badly – moreover, George had been missing ever since he had left. That was three days ago. Fred hadn't been able to locate him. In fact, it was in search of his brother, that Fred had left now. She hoped he would find him well although George wasn't in her good books right now.
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Hangover headache, decided George, was something he hated waking up to. For many confusing moments he wondered where he was. Recognising the place as an inn room, he concluded that he must have passed out and brought up here.
Splashing his face with the water kept in a glass on the nightstand, he went downstairs. Paying what was due and buying some Hangover Cure, he left the pub of dubious reputation.
As he came out into the sun of a bright and breezy May morning, his better senses kicked in. He couldn't go on hiding from everybody forever. It just wasn't the thing to do. Most people probably didn't like him for what he had done – but he supposed that would fade away with time. Meanwhile, it wasn't the best plan to go into 'hiding'. He hadn't eaten anything in four days. He had merely been wandering aimlessly.
He still had work to do and things to cope up with.
However, he wasn't sure that he would go to his and Fred's shop. How was he to face the brother for whose girlfriend he had left his own fiancée?
Exasperated, he sat down on a stone bench.
He had got himself into a deep mess with being recessive at first. And in trying to correct the mess, he had made it all… messier.
Breaking up with Angelina had reduced him to a wallowing wreck. How could he think of wanting Hermione then?
And yet… and yet he did want Hermione. In all this chaos, he was only sure of one thing. He loved Hermione. In spite of everything that he felt and all the doubts he had, he knew that he loved her – and that no one else could ever love her like he loved her.
The only problem was what he was going to do about that.
At least he wasn't going back to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. It was bad enough that he would be betraying his own brother – he didn't want to look more like a liar than he already seemed. So he had better get some new employment.
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Regardless of intelligence and talents, no one really thought of employing anybody who hadn't even got NEWTs to their credit. So George didn't know what he could do. It was another thing that he didn't really know what else there was except making business through fun-stuff.
Hence, he spent another futile day although today he didn't forgo his meals.
He had never felt so friendless in his life. Given his five brothers and a sister with doting parents, there had never been any need to feel that. However, he wasn't sure who to turn to now. It wasn't as if they wouldn't want him right now. He didn't feel up to answering the questions that would ask in return of their forgiveness.
Questions whose answers would not be what they would be expecting. Questions whose answers would only lead to more confusion and probably bad feeling.
Given this state of things, he wasn't sure that he ought to go through with what he had first thought.
"George!"
He was startled out of his thoughts as he heard the familiar voice.
"Hermione."
His voice was quiet. He didn't meet her eyes. He wasn't sure of what he would see in them.
They remained quiet for a while. Then Hermione said,
"Fred has been searching for you."
"I am old enough to take care of myself. He shouldn't worry about me."
After some time, he asked, "Shouldn't you be at Hogwarts?"
"It's Saturday. I was just going home from the St. Mungo's."
"What's wrong?"
"Oh…" she blushed slightly. "Nothing really…"
He immediately left the subject – putting it down to a 'woman thing'.
"How's Angelina?"
"You would know," said Hermione, a slight frown appearing on her hitherto clear brow. "What happened, George?" she asked, looking at him intently – as if she was trying to read him.
He looked directly into her eyes. He wasn't sure that she would understand. It was all right to love her when she didn't even know about it. He was afraid what she would feel when she did come to know about it.
"I realized something."
She didn't ask more, though he could see that she wasn't sure what to make of those three words. He sensed that she would leave. He wasn't sure what came over him. He knew he couldn't let her go – just like that… he was suffering too much because of her… he wanted her to know… something… anything…
"I betrayed her – in my mind and heart," he said. "I realised that I loved someone else. It was a chance realization – about… about a feeling that I had thought I had forgotten. Then I knew that she and I weren't meant to be. I couldn't go through with a marriage when I had… I had fallen out of love with her. And now I doubt if I had really loved her… if it wasn't some misguided attempt at forgetting her who I had really loved before – and love still."
Hermione wasn't frowning anymore but her expression was strangely neutral. He didn't know how he had affected her.
Then she asked, "Who is she, George?"
He didn't say anything. He only looked at her.
"Whoever she is, I hope she is… worth all this trouble."
He didn't make any verbal reply to that either. He only looked at her. What would she think if he told her that she really was worth all the trouble and more… that she was the only one he wanted – could ever want.
Maybe he perturbed her with his intent gaze… or maybe she understood the desperation in his eyes… he didn't know. But she suddenly looked away and was gone before he could register that she had moved away.
With a wildly beating heart, he realized that he had just lost the chance of telling her that he loved her. It wasn't the proverbial 'romantic' moment at all – but that won't ever come for them now. He had to tell her now.
Closing his eyes, he disapparated.
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When Hermione went in, Fred was waiting for her.
She told him that she had met George – that he was all right.
"Where did you see him?"
"In the Diagon Alley – I had gone to get some food for Crookshanks there."
"You were out awfully long," said Fred. "Did you talk to him?"
"No – I just saw him going somewhere."
"He'll come around, then."
"Fred," said Hermione, just as he was going upstairs, "there is something I… I need to tell you."
He came up to her. "Yeah?"
Maybe she ought to tell him later, she thought. What if he… what if he didn't like it?
"Hermione? Are you all right? You look a little pale."
"Fred…"
Fingering the hem of her shirt nervously, she sat down.
"Hermione, love, you know you can tell me anything," said Fred patiently, pulling up a chair next to hers, and taking her hands in his.
"I… I hadn't gone to get Crookshanks food…" she began, feeling some of the tension leave her as Fred ran his thumb up and down the back of her hand.
"I guessed as much," he said, smiling.
"I had gone to St. Mungo's…"
"What's wrong?" he asked, his grip on her hands tightening.
"Nothing is wrong…"
She broke off abruptly. But before Fred could say something, she quickly said, "I am pregnant."
Fred blinked.
"Fred?"
For a moment, her heart almost stopped, thinking that everything there was between them was to be for nought… that her perfect world would come tumbling down and everything would be devastated… that…
But then Fred's face broke into a wide grin.
"I love you, Hermione," he said and enveloped her in a fierce embrace.
Before she could gasp out that she could hardly breathe, he pulled back a little and took her mouth in a long, sweet kiss.
The door at the far end of the room, which had opened unnoticed just a few moments before Hermione had revealed that she was carrying Fred's baby, closed as softly.
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This was probably what love meant.
George watched the last rays of the sun glitter in the pond.
It was well, he thought, that he had followed her to her home – because it had helped him decide what he was supposed to do now.
He loved her… yes, he loved her still – and he loved her deeply. That was why he was going to go to America; he had met that 'old coot' – as he referred to the man who was to help Weasley's Wizard Wheezes carry out their business on international scale – and had agreed to leave for the US the day after tomorrow.
It was the best thing to do – because he loved her. He wanted to see her happy – and it did not matter in the least if that happiness came at the cost of his own. By keeping his affections the secret that they had always been, he would make her happy – he would grant her the perfect world that she undoubtedly looked forward to now.
Sighing, he closed his eyes as stars slowly multiplied in the night sky. Breathing deeply of the summer air, he felt a strange feeling seep into his being. A weird kind of happiness… a sense of satisfaction like nothing he had felt before.
Leaning back against the tree, he looked up at the full moon.
The turmoil inside him had melted away. He felt a completely different man from yesterday. He had a purpose now and a way.
Yes, it had been the right thing to do. Even if there was a part of his heart which hurt, there was a greater, purer part that could see her happy – that could revel in her happiness.
More than ever, he was convinced that he loved her like no man could in all eternity.
Leaning back against the tree, he gazed up at the cloudless sky, a small smile gracing his features.
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FINIS
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AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, that's the end. Shorter than I had meant it to be – but it satisfied me. I am sorry that it took so long, but the original plan I had in mind didn't please me and all this time I had been thinking of something "different" – and you know how tough that can be. I hope you enjoyed it. In any case, do not forget to leave a review.
Thank-you for reading – and in advance for reviewing ;).
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