Hi...
First of all, thank you all for your reviews and advice. This is my most succesful fanfic and I'm really happy about it. But it's being very difficult to write it anyway, so thank you again for being so patient and wait for my updates. I've had some kind of writer's block, but now it seems to be over and I think I'll be able to finish "Life must go on".
By the way, some of you asked about some things you didn't understand very well, especially Claire's character. So, this chapter is dedicated to her. Who she was, who she is and how she came to Toulouse's life.
I hope you enjoy it. Sorry for the lack of updates again.
3. Claire.
Toulouse came to visit me next morning, when all past events seemed to be just a nightmare. My suicide attempt, Claire, everything. And for the first time after Satine's death, I could look throught the window and watch the Moulin Rouge face to face. I don't know why, but it didn't make me feel so miserable as before. For the first time I was thinking of the nicest remembers of Satine, the good moments we spent, not the painful things.
"How are you?" Toulouse asked when he entered the room.
I turned to him in surprise. I haven't heard him.
"The same as always" I answered. But it was not true. I was feeling strange, not better but not the same as always.
"It will pass" he said. "I promise it will pass."
I sighed when thinking of his words and walked towards him. I didn't want to talk about the night before. I didn't event want to remember it.
"Sometimes we think that the world is over, that nobody can help us, but that's not true, there is always some kind of way to go out and back to life" Toulouse continued. I suppose he wanted to help me by doing that, though he was wrong.
"Toulouse" I said to him "Please stop it."
He obeyed me, awlked to my bed and sat on it. I came back to the window and asked the question I was so interested to know about.
"Who's her?"
"Her?" Toulouse asked.
"That girl. Claire, I think that was her name" I answered.
"Oh". Touloused lasted a long moment to talk again. I couldn't understand why. "She's one of those girls. From Les Deux Moulins. You know."
Les Deux Moulins was a bourdelle up in the Montmartre hill. Toulouse used to go there looking for models. Those girls were cheap and usually beautiful to paint. Claire fitted perfectly in that description. Young, nice, and rebel.
"I'm painting her" Toulouse said.
"I supposed that" I declared.
"She's not a... whore, do you understand?" he said suddenly. I was surprised by that words. "She's a good girl, she just couldn't choose her way to make a living."
I went to the bed and sat by Toulouse. The story started to become interesting.
"Why do you say that?" I asked.
"Because now I know her" he explained. "She was born in the north of the contry, somewhere near Lille. She never told me where exactly. Her mother died when she was a child, and her father had to raise her and her brothers alone... with almost no money and no time. And Claire was not the perfect girl that her father wanted, she didn't like to help in the house. They used to argue constantly... until Claire got tired of it."
For a second, I remembered my own father thinking of Claire's. She was not an easy woman to live with, I knew it and I had only spent an evening with her. She was too independent, too strong-headed to deal with her. Probably her father was like her. And two people who never agree can't live together.
"She left the house, her town and came to Paris. She was fifteen then" continued Toulouse.
"Fifteen? She was quite young" I told him.
"Yes. She worked at almost everything, but lost every job in little time. It's not difficult to guess why she finished in Les Deux Moulins. That's all." Toulouse said. "I was shocked by her story".
"It's the story of half the women in Montmartre" I replied.
"Yes, I know, but... but Claire is different. I looked at her for the first time and knew she was different of any women in Les Deux Moulins, in any place. I don't know why, but I knew I had to help her." He said.
Suddenly Toulouse looked changed. He had become another man. His voice, the shine in his eyes (not absinthe this time), the expression on his face, something had changed. Definitely.
"Help her?" I asked, still wondering about his transformation. "How?"
"I've taken Claire out of the streets. I don't want her to do that. Now I've employed her." Toulouse replied with a mysterious smile on his face.
I remained silent. It was not necessary to ask. He would tell me by himself.
"She's my model" he said.
"You pay her for painting her" I tried to understand.
"You're right. I need a woman to model for me, so I can draw her and sell some pictures. It's not so complicated." He replied ironically.
"Does she agree? Doesn't she want her pictures?"
"Absolutely! She's happy about it. She says that she will remembered in history for being my model!" Toulouse was more enthusiastic than ever. "We need each other. I give her money, she gives me art."
When we stopped talking, I realised that I has forgotten my pain for some minutes. I had been distracted by our conversation. But know it had finished, as soon as I remembered it, the empty inside me returned and I felt as strange as earlier. Toulouse noticed it and shook his head sadly.
"I can't make you forget forever" he said "But I did it for one moment, it's not bad".
Toulouse smiled slightly and got up. He had to go.
"Let's meet tonight and have some drinks" he proposed "So you can ask Claire if she's satisfied with her new job."
I didn't really mattered, I had just asked to follow his conversation. I was more interested on why Toulouse was so excited when talking about her. He looked really happy. It was good that at least one of us was feeling well. Anyway, a glass of absinthe wouldn't hurt me... I thought.
"Right" I said.
It made Toulose even happier, if it was possible.
"Right" he answered "I'll see you."
He left the room and closed the door behind him.
TO BE CONTINUEDNow... the same as always... review, give advice, tell me if it was good. Thank you!
P.S.: Les Deux Moulins was a real bourdelle in Paris, and the real Toulouse Lautrec went there for his models. Just to let you know.