Author Notes: Yay! The last chap is here. And out a lot faster than the first! (happy dance)
disclaimer: disclaim'd
notes/warnings: SetoJou, shonen-ai, yaoi, confusion, general wackiness, probable OOC-ness, language, and the like…
To all my reviewers and readers, I want to say a big thank youand especially to Evi who kept making me get off my lazy ass and update! Hah. Anyway, to all you reviewers, you are such a wonderful encouragement so I can't thank you enough! Love ya all!
And without further adieu…
Shatter
By: scelerus animus
Chapter Three
And So the Dream Ends
—
Looming and dark, the twin doors stood before Jounouchi like some kind of treacherous omen, one that foretold his untimely end. Jounouchi stared at the pair of doors, shuffling his feet with frustration. He really didn't want to go in there. He really, really didn't want to go in there.
Sending a glare toward the twin doors, Jounouchi crossed his arms irritably. He didn't see why he had to be the one to make the first move. Hell, the only reason he came back to this bloody house was to pick up all his junk. No other reason. No other reason at all.
He just… just really didn't want to go in there.
And why is that, little Jou-chan? Why is that? Is it because you do not want to face reality? You do not want to wake up? Stupid little mutt, so utterly weak. Those cracks in your heart will someday shatter completely and then what will you do? Tell me, mutt? Tell me, little Jou, what will you do when you have destroyed the lives of those you love?
"Shut up!" the blonde yelled, clutching at his head furiously. "Y-You are just a stupid voice in my head, nothin' more! Just a stupid fuckin' voice! So leave me da hell alone!"
A voice in your head, am I? Even if I was merely a voice in your, little Jou, it still doesn't say much for your sanity, ne?
"What do ya want?" Jounouchi pleaded, falling to his knees. "Can't ya just tell me what th' hell ya want wit' me and leave me da hell alone? Just leave me alone!"
Oh, you know what I want, insipid mutt; you need to wake up and face reality or face jeopardizing your entire existence.
"I can't wake up!" Jounouchi argued, clawing at his hair. "'Cause I'm not dreaming; I'm not! I can't be!"
Oh really? Fine then, go inside and see what your pathetic dream has done to one of the people you love most. Go ahead and see the consequences of your pathetic fantasy, imprudent dog!
"No…"
Why? Are you afraid? Is the brash, stubborn, reckless Jounouchi Katsuya actually afraid of facing reality? Of finding out that you really are just a selfish puppy?
"I ain't afraid of nothin'!"
The why are you hiding out here then, Katsuya? Why won't you go inside? Why, little Jou-chan? Why?
"'Cause… 'cause—" A piercing crash cut him off mid-sentence.
Honey-brown eyes snapped toward the ominous dark wood doors. Wildly, Jounouchi scanned the double doors, faint apprehension reflecting in those sweet pools.
"Kaiba," he muttered into the silent corridor.
Startling him once again, several more crashes and shouts came from inside the office. Worry began to find it's way into Jounouchi's exhausted features, he tentatively stood up and walked to the twin doors, pressing his ear to the cool wood.
Several mutters and much shuffling where heard from within the office. Jounouchi knew this routine. Knew it very well. Whenever Kaiba would have a particularly bad day, or was simply in a pissed-off mood, etcetera, he would push everyone away and lock himself in his office to work and, more than often, destroy various things.
Yes, Jounouchi knew this routine very well, and he had never liked it one bit. At all.
"Damn it," Jounouchi cursed, running his hands through his mussed golden locks in frustration.
Slowly, he touched the brass doorknob, cool to his touch—almost icy, actually, and smooth as it slid against his burn mark. With a soft click, the door opened and Jou hesitantly stepped inside, surprised that the door had been unlocked.
Darkness immediately surrounded him as the door closed behind him with another click. Darkness and shadows that played tricks with the light across murky walls.
Cautiously, he further advanced into the lightless office, the faint crunches of strewn papers and other foreign objects sounding forbiddingly through the room beneath his feet.
In the center of the office, amongst the scattered papers and other miscellaneous items, kneeled a trembling silhouette—one that as Jounouchi approached, he instantly recognized as Kaiba.
In a flash, Jounouchi crossed the room, stumbling over fallen papers and overturned chairs.
"Kaiba!" he shouted through the dark room bathed in menacing shadows. As he reached the crouched figure, he grabbed a hold of Kaiba's shoulders and spun the CEO around to face him.
Lifeless cerulean eyes met his gaze. Unintelligible words fell from the brunet's mouth, murmurs and mumbles that made no sense to Jounouchi. Words that haunted Jou. Words that terrified the blonde despite the fact that they were incoherent and unintelligible.
"Seto," Jou whispered fearfully, "baby, what's the matter?" He shakily ran his hands through thick dark brown hair and wiped pearly tears that he thought he never see from a pale tormented face.
Abruptly, the undecipherable mutterings paused, and Kaiba blinked almost owlishly at Jounouchi as if not truly believing he was there.
"Pup…?" the CEO whispered, a cracked, broken voice that scared Jounouchi to no ends. What had happened to his beloved Seto? What? He had been fine three days ago! Just fine!
Oh, is that so, little Jou-chan? If he had been fine, why had he yelled at you, screamed at you? Why had he pushed you away when a day earlier, he had searched for you to celebrate your sixth-month anniversary? Was he really okay?
Through the darkness, Jounouchi could decipher the surprise and disbelief in Kaiba's startling cerulean eyes—eyes that held a lost, empty hue in them which definitely did not belong on Kaiba.
"Seto love, yes, it's me, Jou, your puppy, please," Jounouchi pleaded desperately, hugging Kaiba fiercely, "tell me what's wrong? What's th' matter?"
"Katsuya…" Kaiba muttered, this time the corners of his lips quirking up in a slow smile. But it was smile that chilled Jounouchi to the bones. Scared him. It was a disturbed smile. A lost one. Empty. Soulless.
"No, no, you couldn't be my puppy," murmured Kaiba, shaking his head, pain filling his darkened irises once again. "You're trying to trick me. For you can't be my beautiful puppy, you can't."
"Yes, I am!" Jounouchi argued, shaking Kaiba viciously as if trying to put some sense into him. "It's me, Seto! It's me, Katsuya! Please, it's me!"
What was wrong with Kaiba? This wasn't Kaiba! This wasn't!
This person… it reminded Jounouchi too much of himself…
And it scared him so much…
Where was the cold, merciless CEO who walked down the street as if he owned the whole fucking world?
What had happened to him?
"What's killin' him, Mokuba? What!"
"Joui-neesan… you…"
"…You're killing him, Jounouchi-niisan… please, save him, please…"
You're killin' your precious Kaiba… just like he killed—shattered you… isn't revenge sweet?
Jounouchi's mind twirled and whirled, almost as if in an endless merry-go-around. Shadows played across Kaiba's face, accenting his sharp cheekbones and the pain and grief etched into every pale, elegant curve.
Jou wanted to curl into a ball and scream.
"No, no, no, you lie," the CEO continued to reply, brows furrowing as if remembering some far away tragedy. Some tragedy, which had somehow convinced him that, Jounouchi couldn't be there.
"Why? Why do ya think it's not me, Seto?" Jounouchi asked hopelessly, his voice cracking around the edges as icy droplets of salty water leaked down his smudged cheeks. "Why, baby? Please tell me why!"
"Oh no, you can't be my puppy, my beautiful Katsuya," Kaiba whispered, pearly white tears sliding silently down his face once more. This only further scared Jounouchi. Kaiba Seto never cried. For nothing or no one. "You can't be my puppy, because I killed my puppy."
At those words, Jounouchi's world crashed down around him, another depthless gorge slashing it's way into the blonde's heart.
…He broke you, shattered you, so you broke him, ne, Jou-chan?
"Wh-What?" he demanded. "No! It can't be true; see Seto love, I'm fine, I'm right here! No!"
"Yes! I killed my puppy!" Seto hissed, cerulean eyes suddenly full of fury and madness. He callously pushed Jou away, glaring at him with precarious wrath. "I killed him! I didn't mean to, but I did!"
He collapsed to the floor, sobs resounding through the treacherous chamber. "I killed him… my Katsuya… Jou… puppy…"
Jounouchi stumbled back, his vision swirling and a piercing pain ricocheting through his skull as it slammed against a fallen lamp with a low thud.
"Shit!" He cursed, scrambling around amongst the mess. "Wait… a lamp!" Searching for the ceramic lamp once more, he clicked it on. Dim light bathed the room, and Jounouchi finally noticed how truly chaotic the office had become.
Books, furniture, the computer, even Kaiba's desk was upended on the other side of the room. Otherwise, papers that looked several months old and worn covered every last inch of the dark burgundy carpet.
Newspapers.
It was pure chaos. A perfect reflection of Jounouchi's own twisted sense of reality and dreams.
Everything blurred and spun around Jounouchi in a dizzying mesh of black and white. Disorientated, Jounouchi stumbled and gazed at the first newspaper he found.
In small printed letters across the top, the date read June Sixth. Fear suddenly clenching his heart in a suffocating grip, wide honey-brown eyes moved to look at the headline which read at the top in glaring bold letters: Secret Lovelife of Kaiba Seto Exposed!
A large colored picture of Kaiba and him in the park the day before, on their sixth-month anniversary, took up nearly half of the front page.
Immediately tossing away that paper, he picked up another June Sixth paper with trembling hands: Kaiba Corp. CEO Gay? Truth Revealed! ; then the next: Multibillionaire Kaiba Seto Affair with High School Classmate Jounouchi Katsuya Uncovered!
"Wh-What the fuck…?" Jounouchi whispered as he thrashed through paper after paper, honey eyes wild and stunned. "No, no… that was th-the fuckin' day… the day the Seto… Seto… fight… no!"
As each glaring, mockful headline passed before before his eyes, Jounouchi soon came across more yellowed and aged newspapers. Newspapers that read May Ninth. Four days after their sixth-month anniversary. Three days after their fight.
May Ninth. But… but that was today!
"No, no, it can't be…" Jounouchi murmured frantically, shaking his desperately. "it can't… it can't…"
Heart suddenly racing at several knots faster than prior, the haggard teen's eyes moved to gaze at the headline also printed across the top in glaring black letters, a sudden unshakable dread twisting in his stomach almost causing him to feel the need to vomit.
The headline read: Tragedy! Star-crossed Lovers: Kaiba Seto and Jounouchi Katsuya; and the next: CEO of Kaiba Corp. Kaiba Seto's Boyfriend Comatosed in Horrific Accident; and the next: 17-year-old Jounouchi Katsuya, Supposed Lover of Kaiba Seto, Placed in Coma by Hit-n-Run
Paper after paper passed before his troubled honey-brown eyes, almost in a blur, in a daze, as if he were trapped in some sort of wretched dream, a nightmare, which he couldn't escape.
Standing, he stumbled towards the double doors in an attempt to get away, just to get away from everything. Yet his world continued to spin and swirl. As he walked, something crunched beneath his feet, and he fell.
Before his eyes remained the shards and shatters of a glass figurine of a golden puppy dog that Jounouchi, with Mokuba's help of course, had given Kaiba for their sixth-month anniversary. Now the golden glass puppy dog lay before him in thousands of jagged shatters. It must have been one of the items Kaiba had thrown against the wall in frustration.
Poor, poor puppy…
Poor, poor Jou-chan…
"No, no, no…" he continued to mutter in a disbelieving mantra.
All he saw was black and white, glaring and spiteful, mocking him, deriding, scornful. And red—a reddish-gold that seeped into his vision from the corners, concealing the rest of the world from him—reality or a dream.
See, did I not tell you, mutt? Look at what you wretched fantasy has done to the one you love most? Because of this dream in which you rather exist, you are killing your precious Kaiba, breaking him, shattering him, before he could break you, isn't that right? But, I suppose this is what you wanted. After all, you were always a stickler for revenge, ne, little Jou-chan? He killed you, so you killed him, isn't that right? Are you happy now? Do you enjoy this little dream of yours anymore? Do you, Katsuya?
"No…"
And then Jounouchi's world became enveloped in darkness.
—————————
All that surrounded him from corner to corner was an infinite white, so atrocious and suffocating. Sprawled across a horridly white floor—not really a floor at all, more like an infinite abyss of wicked white—Jounouchi lay gasping. Exhaustion and fatigue seemed to have spread throughout his bones without warning and his skull felt like a bag of bricks as he tried to lift it. Dizziness instantly assaulted him, and his vision swam. Staring out into the vast whiteness, a swirling blur of nothingness, he saw a dark silhouette, tall and looming, not but a few feet away from him.
His vision continued to swim in and out of whiteness and blackness as images flashed through his mind. He remembered.
He remembered things that he forgotten, things that he had purposely pushed far from his mind while he had locked himself in a his own safe woven cocoon of fabricated dreams where nothing could touch him.
But it seemed a crack had formed in his fantasy, and he remembered. He remembered the fight. He remembered the nights he had slept on a bench in the park. He remembered before the fight, when Kaiba had planned a trip for them just to get away, far, far away from everything. But there had been no car crash like in his dream within a dream, for they had never been able to go on that trip.
But he remembered another crash; another pair of blinding yellows lights—headlights—like the devilish eyes of some unknown monster, heading straight for him. It had been raining that night, May Ninth, and he had been headed toward home—Kaiba's mansion.
He remembered never making it. He remembered voices. He remembered pain. He had hated the pain.
Attempting to raise himself on his knees, Jounouchi coughed and collapsed to the floor once again. The silhouette shifted before him and approached his drained form and kneeled before it.
A face and features swam hazily before his blurry honey-brown eyes, and Jounouchi blinked rapidly.
"S-Seto…"
"Silly, silly mutt," murmured Kaiba in an all to familiar voice—one that only now Jounouchi recognized as both the CEO's and the voice which had plagued his mind these past days. "My poor, poor pup…"
"S-Seto," Jounouchi muttered as he tried to sit up once more. He felt so tired, just so tired. "What are ya doin' here?"
"Foolish little puppy, Jou-chan," Kaiba murmured once again as he took a gentle hold of Jou's chin so that striking cerulean eyes met muddled honey-brown. His touch was ice-cold to Jou's skin. "Why do you wish to exist in this dream, in these memories of the past? Please, pup, I'm sorry, why can't you just wake up…"
Jounouchi tried to shake his head. "B-But…"
"What must I do, pup? What must I do to snap you out of this dream, please Jounouchi…" Kaiba asked. Grabbing the blonde's shoulders roughly, the CEO shook him. "Please! I've tried! Damn it, mutt, Jou… what can I do? What? I tried… I've tried so hard to snap you out of this dream… do you really hate me so much that you'd rather exist in this fabricated dream—these memories— than wake up and come back to me…? Please, I'm a fool I know, I know… a stupid, arrogant fool who idiotically put his damned reputation before one of the people I love most…"
Jounouchi stared at Kaiba, thoughts whizzing through his head seemingly at the speed of light. They pounded and pounded against his skull so he couldn't reason or even breathe… it hurt so much… he was so confused… "No, Seto… Seto… no…"
"Please Katsuya… please wake up and come back to me… I never meant to break you, please I never meant to shatter you…Katsuya…"
He sinking beneath an ocean of white… drowning…
And then Jounouchi was in a room. Another white room, but this time there were walls and a tiled floor and… and a steady beeping sound, one he recognized, that echoed treacherously in his mind… as well as in his heart… like a nail that continued to be driven into it's delicate surface… until it completely shattered.
Realizing that he was able to stand properly without stumbling so much, Jounouchi raised himself off the floor and looked about the room, wondering where in the world—whether a dream or reality—was he now.
What met his honey-brown eyes sent another jolting pain through his head and his heart.
A figure lay motionless on a neat hospital bed, hooked to several tubes and wires that ran into several bulky machines, including the one which emitted that incessant beeping, while a small ball of light periodically traveled up and down a jagged green line. In an uncomfortable-looking chair beside the bed, a dark brown-haired head rested next to the motionless patient in a light doze, hand grasped in the figure's pale, frail hand.
On the wall beside the two figures, a calendar had been turned to the month of September.
Jounouchi instantly recognized the two people as Kaiba Seto and himself.
"No, it can't be," he muttered frantically. "No, it can't be, it can't… no, no, no… it's not real!" He clutched fiercely at his head, honey eyes squeezed shut.
"But isn't it, little Jou?" questioned a silky voice behind him.
Jounouchi immediately spun around to stare at the person who had just appeared in the room. Kaiba Seto stood before, as he had been in that white abyss moments ago.
"No," Jounouchi said stubbornly, "it isn't. Ye're not real. This is not real. It's just a dream, a dream! You're not real!"
Crossing his arms, Kaiba nonchalantly leaned against the white hospital room's wall. One arched eyebrow was raised in mock. "No, perhaps, I'm not real, merely an apparition of your beloved Seto Kaiba created from your imagination—perhaps, because of a desperate subconscious wish to cling to reality before you completely drift off into your created fantasy. But that," he said, nodding his head over Jou's shoulder at the scene by the hospital bed, "that is indeed real, mutt."
"Liar!"
Kaiba shrugged impassively. "Your precious Kaiba lied to you sometimes, indeed. He told you that you two had all the time in the world, told you that you would go far, far away someday from this damned world, didn't he? But I assure you, little Jou-chan, I'm not lying now. And if you don't wake up, you'll kill him. But perhaps, that is what you want, ne? For he nearly killed you, broke you, the day he reverted back to his old spiteful self toward you, the day the newspapers were printed with the picture of you and him in the park on your so-called anniversary. …He nearly shattered you, ne?"
"No!"
Kaiba sighed, pushing off against the wall, and slowly approached the blonde. "Foolish, stubborn little puppy. Do you know what worries Kaiba the most?" he asked, taking a gentle hold of Jounouchi's chin in an all too familiar manner and forcing the blonde to look into deep cerulean eyes, which concealed the pain beneath their endless blue.
"It scares me, Katsuya. It scares me not knowing how long you will last before you completely shatter because of this dream of yours. How long can you last living in this fantasy, in these memories, as I have to slowly watch you deteriorate and fade away before my very eyes? I love you, pup, please… Why can't you just wake up, Katsuya?"
And then Kaiba kissed him, soft at first and his lips so very warm against Jou's. But Jounouchi's mind seemed to have frozen as that relentless beeping echoed ruthlessly in his head. As a result, Kaiba's kiss became fiercer, more desperateas he deepened it, trying to get a response.
The kiss tasted so very good to Jounouchi, so very delicious, and he never wanted it to end.
Yet staring into Kaiba's depthless blue eyes, in his own mind's eye as well, Jounouchi saw his life, fast and fleeting, saw Kaiba—his Seto—saw Mokuba, saw his friends, all crying and loaded down with grief, with the pain that reality had placed upon them… He saw the white hospital room, saw Kaiba—the imperishable Kaiba Seto—crying, saw the retangular white box, a heart monitor, that contiued to emit a periodical beep…
Through the cracks and shatters of his mind and heart, he saw each world, each dream, each fantasy, and each horrible reality… He saw them and it hurt… it hurt so much.
And he saw a time, a world, where everything was okay, when there had been no pain, no grief, no sheer agony…
That wonderful place he never wanted to leave, couldn't leave, even if he had wanted to…
…never… never… never…
Because… because… the truth was that they didn't have all the time in the world, and dreams… dreams did indeed die…
So Jounouchi broke the mesmerizing kiss and pushed Kaiba away, stumbling backwards.
Kaiba reached out for him, cerulean eyes desperate, pleading, which made Jou wonder what had he done, for Kaiba Seto never pleaded or begged. It made him want so badly to run back to Kaiba and kiss him again and keep kissing him forever. Yet he didn't go back—back to reality.
He couldn't.
Smiling that lopsided grin of his, he merely said, "Love ya too, Seto…"
Then Jounouchi Katsuya fell, heart finally shattering into a thousand pieces. And his dream ended.
—————————
In a silent, sterile white room, where two people slept, the blonde-haired one immobile on a bleached white hospital bed while the other's dark brown head rested upon the blonde's prone chest, lightly holding the blonde's pale hand, an incessant beeping paused and became one long continual beep that echoed hollowly throughout the entire room until the cerulean-eyed brunet woke up.
End
Ending Notes: Once again, thank you all who got this far! And, yes, I know I left it rather vague. So it's up to the reader to decide in the end if maybe the flatline starts to beep again and Jou wakes up or not or some other possibility. Like I said, it's all up to the reader. Maybe, I'll make a sequel, but if I do, it probably won't be in the near future. Or maybe I just won't write a sequel at all. Who knows? o.O
Reviews are greatly appreciated!
Hope you all enjoyed! Thanks and until next time…
Ja ne!
– scelerus animus