Genres: Drama/Romance/Depression
Warning: contains shonen/seinen-ai. If you find this offensive, then don't read this (yes, it's as simple as that)! Plus the story contains elements concerning prostitution. Also I don't recommend reading this if you don't like depressing stories (although, if you've read this far, I'm guessing you do.)
Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is copyrighted to Takaya Natsuki.
Rating: PG 13, might go up to R (but I doubt it, well, who knows)
A/N: Well, here I am again. I won't be able to update as much any time soon since I'm gonna have to go back to school. (Yes, I'm still on sick leave. I've been feeling nice and miserable all week end.) Oh well, I'm done ranting.
Surrender, then start you engines
You'll know quite soon what my mistake
Was
For those on horseback or dog slead
You turn on at the bend in the road
I hear she still grants forgiveness
Although I willingly forgot her
The offering is molasses and you say
I guess I'm an underwater thing so I
Guess I can't take it personally
I guess I'm an underwater thing I'm
Liquid running
There's a sea secret in me
It's plain to see it is rising
But I must be flowing away liquid diamonds
And if your friends don't come back to you
I hope you know this is madness. -
Taken from "Liquid Diamonds" by Tori Amos
Black Boudoir Chapter Twelve
Kyo had fallen asleep on Shigure's bed, enveloped in the familiar smell. Random thoughts flashed through his mind and became dreams: He saw the vase of lilies in front of his door and bent down to smell one. When he stood up again, he looked around and noticed that he was in a garden. Yet there was no light. The lilies where suffocating him and their smell slowly turned into incense smoke. He was back in Akito's room. He stood there, outside his body, watching Yuki rape him. His mind registered that he should be feeling revulsion, but he merely walked by. The sound had been turned off it seemed. He went over and stood in front of the clan head who was absorbed in the sight before him. Kyo looked Akito in the eye, but Akito stared through him. The look in the older Sohma's eyes was disturbing. It was cold of course, but it alternatingly flashed lust and fear and once even something Kyo read as regret.
Kyo turned back, briefly glanced at the scene and suddenly heard his voice, distorted and thick calling Shigure.
He woke up. He was still surrounded by his cousin's smell. A tear escaped Kyo's eye. He wasn't expecting it at all. He brought up his hand to his face and touched it. He tried to smile. It hurt his face at first, but then, he recognized the feeling and knew he must be smiling. He turned on the light, having to fumble for the switch a moment in this unfamiliar room. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was four a.m. He went over to the stove and put on some water to boil. He got out a bowl and some instant miso soup.
The light was dim here and he looked over to the corner of the room. In the shadows he saw the shape of a man. He rubbed his eyes. It looked like Shigure. He was smiling. Kyo looked at the pot to make sure that the water wasn't overflowing, turned off the stove and looked back, but saw nothing. He sighed. 'It's because I'm in his room.' He thought. 'There's so much of his aura here.' Something inside him broke, like a dam under pressure.
He felt weak and had to sit down. He realised that Shigure was in hospital. This was nothing new, but somehow he hadn't realised what this meant. He pictured Shigure's dark hair among all the white, how his usually pale skin was now unnatural looking, and his eyes tired.
He got up and prepared the broth. He sipped it slowly not bothering to use a spoon. He was tired and confused, the hot liquid making him sleepy. He placed the bowl in the sink and went back to his cousin's bed. The kimono he had taken out of the closet was still lying on it. He put it on over his T-shirt and boxers. It was red. Red, White, Skin, Black. Shigure was dying!
Kyo crumpled on the bed, not bothering to pull up the covers. He was falling apart, breaking, where was Shigure now? He had a part of him, with him, around him, but that warmth was gone, it was somewhere fading, in that hospital.
Kyo felt sleep tugging at the corners of his mind. He wanted to fight it, but knew it was hopeless. Something was happening to him and he didn't quite know what. He hadn't turned the light off and it lit up the red silk around him. For a moment his closing eyes thought he had Shigure's arms around him. His neck muscles relaxed and his head sank further into the pillow. He fell asleep. And didn't dream.
* * *
Kyo woke up with a headache. He got up and switched the lamp off. He looked down at himself and remembered. Shigure! He had to go to the hospital! He pulled off the borrowed garment, folded it and went to his room to get dressed.
A half an hour later he got to the hospital and burst into Shigure's room. The bed was empty and the covers were messily lying around. He went over to it and felt the mattress; it was still warm. He sat on it. Was he too late? Was Shigure just somewhere else? The bathroom perhaps? He waited.
Shigure watched Kyo through the open door. Kyo was on a chair next to the bed, his head and upper chest buried in the covers. The right corner of Shigure's mouth twitched up. After a few minutes, he entered his own room. He went over to Kyo and touched his head. Kyo didn't look up, he just whispered
"Shigure?"
"Yes, it's me." He answered, sitting down on his bed next to Kyo's hunched form.
Kyo, still not looking said
"You're dead. I couldn't help you. I'm . . . sorry."
Shigure lifted Kyo into a sitting position. Kyo looked a mess, his hair was messy, and his face was pale, his eyes bloodshot. Shigure noticed he was wearing a suit. He then saw his red kimono in the boy's lap. He picked it up.
"Dead?" he asked.
"No, I'm not dead Kyo. Here take my hand." He said. Kyo did as he was told. He held onto it, squeezing it and feeling it's warmth.
"I guess not." He said. "But I saw you last night." He said.
"You're tired." Shigure said. "And you're finally recovering your emotions." He motioned to the wet spots on the silk of the kimono.
Kyo didn't move. He felt like he was going crazy. It was too much.
"Shigure, when are you coming home?" he managed to say.
Shigure smiled genuinely. He had gone through a lot as well. Why had this young man broken all of the barriers that he had spent years setting up? He guessed it was just a coincidence, but knew it wasn't.
"Today." He said. "It was a minor ulcer and the doctor said that as long as I get enough rest I can stay at home."
Kyo nodded. He still felt that there was something missing, 'but maybe' he thought 'maybe it's not him, maybe it's me.'
* * *
They went into Shigure's room and he noticed the bowl in the sink, the open closet and the unmade bed. He smiled to himself.
"Did you spend the night here?" he asked. Kyo nodded.
"With someone?" Shigure added and chuckled at Kyo's shocked expression.
"I take it you didn't." he said. Kyo was reminding more and more of a small child.
Shigure had never studied psychology, but he half expected this to be some kind of intermediate stage between Kyo's trauma and his recovery. He didn't really know how to deal with it but he supposed it would be best to just treat Kyo like a child for now. He remembered playing with Tohru when she was little.
Tohru. She would be able to help him. She always found some way of helping everyone here. He looked at Kyo who was sitting in a chair, looking at him.
"Is there anything you want to tell me Kyo?" Shigure asked calmly while washing the bowl Kyo had used.
"I was worried. I came here last night because I couldn't sleep." He said.
"You were worried? That's good. You're healing." He stated.
"I feel like I'm breaking, not healing. I thought you were going to die. It would have been my fault, wouldn't it?"
Shigure smiled and said nothing. He had put on the kimono. Now he took it off to replace it with a grey yukata. Kyo turned away.
"Don't worry. You'll heal." Shigure said. "I did, we all did." This was one of the biggest lies he had ever told. He felt he couldn't tell Kyo the truth. He also felt something else and he knew it was dangerous.
* * *
Uotani was sitting at her cash register when a familiar girl walked in. She greeted her.
"Ohayo Uo-san." Tohru said.
"Ah yes, hi Tohru, it's been a while." She said recalling the girl's name.
"How are you?" she asked.
"I'm alright." Uo looked at her nails.
"Kyo is getting better" Tohru said.
Uotani looked up, startled. Could this girl read minds? She had been dying to ask how her ex-roommate was, but she never would have.
"Oh." Uo said. And then "The last time I talked to him he sounded so blunt. I thought he was happy with his boyfriend. Doesn't he like being a man- whore?" she spat, old anger filling her words.
"Ano . . . he was "initiated" and it made him go cold. He's been like that ever since." Tohru said.
Uo had been through a kind of initiation in her gang: they had beaten her to a certain degree and had decided to accept her after he short recovery.
"What, he was beaten?" Uo asked.
"No. Not quite." Tohru said, blushing.
"Well what DID happen to him?"
"He was . . ." she looked around "raped" she breathed.
Uotani froze. Kyo? Him, of all people?
"By whom? Not Shigure-san I hope?" she said
"No, not Shigure-san. I don't know who did it." Tohru lied. Of course officially she wasn't supposed to know.
Tohru went to get the groceries she needed and paid for them. She smiled at Uo.
"Forgive Kyo, it isn't his fault." She said quietly.
"Why? He's not my business anymore." Uo stated blankly.
"But you do care about him." The young girl said and left.
Uotani just stared after her. An idea was beginning to form in her head. She fiddled with the hem of her uniform.
End of Chapter twelve.
Hey. Well I'm not sure about this one bit. Enjen: I'll try to include the other characters more often, but it IS a Kyo and Shigure centric fic. Thanks for all of your advice. Isa
Warning: contains shonen/seinen-ai. If you find this offensive, then don't read this (yes, it's as simple as that)! Plus the story contains elements concerning prostitution. Also I don't recommend reading this if you don't like depressing stories (although, if you've read this far, I'm guessing you do.)
Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is copyrighted to Takaya Natsuki.
Rating: PG 13, might go up to R (but I doubt it, well, who knows)
A/N: Well, here I am again. I won't be able to update as much any time soon since I'm gonna have to go back to school. (Yes, I'm still on sick leave. I've been feeling nice and miserable all week end.) Oh well, I'm done ranting.
Surrender, then start you engines
You'll know quite soon what my mistake
Was
For those on horseback or dog slead
You turn on at the bend in the road
I hear she still grants forgiveness
Although I willingly forgot her
The offering is molasses and you say
I guess I'm an underwater thing so I
Guess I can't take it personally
I guess I'm an underwater thing I'm
Liquid running
There's a sea secret in me
It's plain to see it is rising
But I must be flowing away liquid diamonds
And if your friends don't come back to you
I hope you know this is madness. -
Taken from "Liquid Diamonds" by Tori Amos
Black Boudoir Chapter Twelve
Kyo had fallen asleep on Shigure's bed, enveloped in the familiar smell. Random thoughts flashed through his mind and became dreams: He saw the vase of lilies in front of his door and bent down to smell one. When he stood up again, he looked around and noticed that he was in a garden. Yet there was no light. The lilies where suffocating him and their smell slowly turned into incense smoke. He was back in Akito's room. He stood there, outside his body, watching Yuki rape him. His mind registered that he should be feeling revulsion, but he merely walked by. The sound had been turned off it seemed. He went over and stood in front of the clan head who was absorbed in the sight before him. Kyo looked Akito in the eye, but Akito stared through him. The look in the older Sohma's eyes was disturbing. It was cold of course, but it alternatingly flashed lust and fear and once even something Kyo read as regret.
Kyo turned back, briefly glanced at the scene and suddenly heard his voice, distorted and thick calling Shigure.
He woke up. He was still surrounded by his cousin's smell. A tear escaped Kyo's eye. He wasn't expecting it at all. He brought up his hand to his face and touched it. He tried to smile. It hurt his face at first, but then, he recognized the feeling and knew he must be smiling. He turned on the light, having to fumble for the switch a moment in this unfamiliar room. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was four a.m. He went over to the stove and put on some water to boil. He got out a bowl and some instant miso soup.
The light was dim here and he looked over to the corner of the room. In the shadows he saw the shape of a man. He rubbed his eyes. It looked like Shigure. He was smiling. Kyo looked at the pot to make sure that the water wasn't overflowing, turned off the stove and looked back, but saw nothing. He sighed. 'It's because I'm in his room.' He thought. 'There's so much of his aura here.' Something inside him broke, like a dam under pressure.
He felt weak and had to sit down. He realised that Shigure was in hospital. This was nothing new, but somehow he hadn't realised what this meant. He pictured Shigure's dark hair among all the white, how his usually pale skin was now unnatural looking, and his eyes tired.
He got up and prepared the broth. He sipped it slowly not bothering to use a spoon. He was tired and confused, the hot liquid making him sleepy. He placed the bowl in the sink and went back to his cousin's bed. The kimono he had taken out of the closet was still lying on it. He put it on over his T-shirt and boxers. It was red. Red, White, Skin, Black. Shigure was dying!
Kyo crumpled on the bed, not bothering to pull up the covers. He was falling apart, breaking, where was Shigure now? He had a part of him, with him, around him, but that warmth was gone, it was somewhere fading, in that hospital.
Kyo felt sleep tugging at the corners of his mind. He wanted to fight it, but knew it was hopeless. Something was happening to him and he didn't quite know what. He hadn't turned the light off and it lit up the red silk around him. For a moment his closing eyes thought he had Shigure's arms around him. His neck muscles relaxed and his head sank further into the pillow. He fell asleep. And didn't dream.
* * *
Kyo woke up with a headache. He got up and switched the lamp off. He looked down at himself and remembered. Shigure! He had to go to the hospital! He pulled off the borrowed garment, folded it and went to his room to get dressed.
A half an hour later he got to the hospital and burst into Shigure's room. The bed was empty and the covers were messily lying around. He went over to it and felt the mattress; it was still warm. He sat on it. Was he too late? Was Shigure just somewhere else? The bathroom perhaps? He waited.
Shigure watched Kyo through the open door. Kyo was on a chair next to the bed, his head and upper chest buried in the covers. The right corner of Shigure's mouth twitched up. After a few minutes, he entered his own room. He went over to Kyo and touched his head. Kyo didn't look up, he just whispered
"Shigure?"
"Yes, it's me." He answered, sitting down on his bed next to Kyo's hunched form.
Kyo, still not looking said
"You're dead. I couldn't help you. I'm . . . sorry."
Shigure lifted Kyo into a sitting position. Kyo looked a mess, his hair was messy, and his face was pale, his eyes bloodshot. Shigure noticed he was wearing a suit. He then saw his red kimono in the boy's lap. He picked it up.
"Dead?" he asked.
"No, I'm not dead Kyo. Here take my hand." He said. Kyo did as he was told. He held onto it, squeezing it and feeling it's warmth.
"I guess not." He said. "But I saw you last night." He said.
"You're tired." Shigure said. "And you're finally recovering your emotions." He motioned to the wet spots on the silk of the kimono.
Kyo didn't move. He felt like he was going crazy. It was too much.
"Shigure, when are you coming home?" he managed to say.
Shigure smiled genuinely. He had gone through a lot as well. Why had this young man broken all of the barriers that he had spent years setting up? He guessed it was just a coincidence, but knew it wasn't.
"Today." He said. "It was a minor ulcer and the doctor said that as long as I get enough rest I can stay at home."
Kyo nodded. He still felt that there was something missing, 'but maybe' he thought 'maybe it's not him, maybe it's me.'
* * *
They went into Shigure's room and he noticed the bowl in the sink, the open closet and the unmade bed. He smiled to himself.
"Did you spend the night here?" he asked. Kyo nodded.
"With someone?" Shigure added and chuckled at Kyo's shocked expression.
"I take it you didn't." he said. Kyo was reminding more and more of a small child.
Shigure had never studied psychology, but he half expected this to be some kind of intermediate stage between Kyo's trauma and his recovery. He didn't really know how to deal with it but he supposed it would be best to just treat Kyo like a child for now. He remembered playing with Tohru when she was little.
Tohru. She would be able to help him. She always found some way of helping everyone here. He looked at Kyo who was sitting in a chair, looking at him.
"Is there anything you want to tell me Kyo?" Shigure asked calmly while washing the bowl Kyo had used.
"I was worried. I came here last night because I couldn't sleep." He said.
"You were worried? That's good. You're healing." He stated.
"I feel like I'm breaking, not healing. I thought you were going to die. It would have been my fault, wouldn't it?"
Shigure smiled and said nothing. He had put on the kimono. Now he took it off to replace it with a grey yukata. Kyo turned away.
"Don't worry. You'll heal." Shigure said. "I did, we all did." This was one of the biggest lies he had ever told. He felt he couldn't tell Kyo the truth. He also felt something else and he knew it was dangerous.
* * *
Uotani was sitting at her cash register when a familiar girl walked in. She greeted her.
"Ohayo Uo-san." Tohru said.
"Ah yes, hi Tohru, it's been a while." She said recalling the girl's name.
"How are you?" she asked.
"I'm alright." Uo looked at her nails.
"Kyo is getting better" Tohru said.
Uotani looked up, startled. Could this girl read minds? She had been dying to ask how her ex-roommate was, but she never would have.
"Oh." Uo said. And then "The last time I talked to him he sounded so blunt. I thought he was happy with his boyfriend. Doesn't he like being a man- whore?" she spat, old anger filling her words.
"Ano . . . he was "initiated" and it made him go cold. He's been like that ever since." Tohru said.
Uo had been through a kind of initiation in her gang: they had beaten her to a certain degree and had decided to accept her after he short recovery.
"What, he was beaten?" Uo asked.
"No. Not quite." Tohru said, blushing.
"Well what DID happen to him?"
"He was . . ." she looked around "raped" she breathed.
Uotani froze. Kyo? Him, of all people?
"By whom? Not Shigure-san I hope?" she said
"No, not Shigure-san. I don't know who did it." Tohru lied. Of course officially she wasn't supposed to know.
Tohru went to get the groceries she needed and paid for them. She smiled at Uo.
"Forgive Kyo, it isn't his fault." She said quietly.
"Why? He's not my business anymore." Uo stated blankly.
"But you do care about him." The young girl said and left.
Uotani just stared after her. An idea was beginning to form in her head. She fiddled with the hem of her uniform.
End of Chapter twelve.
Hey. Well I'm not sure about this one bit. Enjen: I'll try to include the other characters more often, but it IS a Kyo and Shigure centric fic. Thanks for all of your advice. Isa