Konohamaru's Gift: The Ultimate Vacation
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related.
Note: This is NOT a real chapter even though it's still Chapter Nine. A review inspired me to do this. The characters in this chapter show up later, but this is what they're doing right now… I'll try to give you a longer, sooner update.
Chapter 9: What's going on with everyone else…
Tsunade grinned happily as her and Shizune's boat pulled into the beach.
"TOPLESS BEACH! WE MADE IT!" screamed Tsunade happily, grabbing Shizune and giving the younger woman a tight hug.
'Isn't she the one always saying how evil the perverts are…?' thought Shizune, eyeing all the old men with copies of Icha Icha Paradise watching the volleyball game, who had suddenly turned to the two hugging women.
"Hey…" Tsunade frowned and looked left, then right, just as she was taking off her shirt. "Where the heck is everyone else?"
"Tsunade-sama…" stammered Shizune. "You never asked where they went, you started yelling about Topless Beach before I could check."
There was silence as Tsunade slowly pulled her shirt back over her belly button. Many old men glared at Shizune.
"Oh. I was sure Jiraiya would've brought them here…" Scowling, Tsunade walked back onto the boat, followed by a thankful Shizune. Glares that hit their back bounced right off, and the gazes moved lower and lower…
Shizune slowly turned around and let a small ball fall into her hands from the inside of her shirt, and threw it at the center of the beach. The old men stared as the boat pulled away, before Shizune snapped her fingers and purple gas shot them in the face, knocking them out and making it so their 'mini-me' wouldn't work for the next 3 days.
Grinning, Shizune walked back to her room, and Tsunade noted not to leave her alone with Jiraiya anytime soon.
"Ahem!" exclaimed Ibiki. He glared at the strange sword, before turning to it's even stranger owner. "Are you telling me you wish to betray the Akatsuki and join the Leaf?"
"Well…" Kisame nodded. "I found out Itachi wasn't a hot bondage chick, but a psycho guy. I had to get out. Plus, you know, they're all crazy."
"He's never met Anko-hime…" whispered one of the Chunin to a Jonin, who nodded.
"Imagine if they met and had… Kids…" the Chunin and Jonin shuddered, not knowing Anko was, at that time, having 'love time' with 'Kaka-kun' under a tree.
"Will you give us information pertaining to what Akatsuki wants with Naruto?" asked Ibiki. Kisame frowned.
"You know, I really don't know what the big deal is." Said Kisame.
"What do you mean by that?" snapped Ibiki. "Your former comrades, if you aren't a spy that is, all are S-Class Criminals!"
"Well, our main plan is why Orochimaru quit." Said Kisame. He leaned in close to Ibiki. "The stupid snake thought it was stupid, broke up with that weird exploding clay bird girl, and left."
"Well…" Ibiki frowned. This was getting him nowhere. "What is this master plan of yours that you need the Kyuubi?"
"Huh?" Kisame blinked. "What the hell does this have to do with the Kyuubi?"
Ibiki growled.
"Don't play games, shark!" snapped Ibiki furiously. "You keep going on about 'The Legacy of the Yondaime'! KY-UU-BI! What other legacy could you be talking about that involves Naruto?"
"You don't know…?" said Kisame incredulously. "Wow. Itachi was right, you people don't pay attention to the important stuff."
"What the hell are you talking about?" screamed Ibiki.
"Yondaime's Legacy…" started Kisame dramatically. "Is his son, Naruto."
There was complete and utter silence in the room. Ibiki's jaw had dropped and hung loosely on it's hinges.
"Oh." said Ibiki, before shaking his head furiously. "And what exactly do you want with him?"
Kisame grinned, showing off his sharky teeth.
"To throw him a birthday party like no other."
There was a collective gape.
"What?" said Ibiki, slowly clenching his fists.
"Well…" Kisame grinned. "You see, you Leaf bastards treat Naruto like dog poo. Even worse! So we formed together to create the ULTIMATE birthday party. Itachi-san holds birthdays in high regards you know. Why do you think he killed his clan? Why do you think his little brother wasn't hurt? It's so obvious! You're idiots!"
"You aren't making sense." Murmured Ibiki, glad to be getting somewhere.
"Itachi-san killed his clan because they didn't celebrate his otouto's birthday." Explained Kisame, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Are you joking?" asked Ibiki, knowing insane people were good at lying. Kisame shook his head and Ibiki's eyes widened. It was true. Itachi became a murderer simply because his little brother's birthday was forgotten. "Wait. Then why does Akatsuki also want Sabaku no Gaara?"
"Cause Gaara is Naruto's friend and he would help us." Explained Kisame. Ibiki's eyes widened.
These were no criminals bent on world domination.
These were super powered freaks trying to make someone happy at any means necessary.
The hell…?
Konohamaru, grinning like an idiot, pulled a stuttering and confused Hanabi to Hiashi's room. Marriage wasn't so bad… And, ya know, maybe in a year or two, when it was discussed, it'd be serious. Of course, as she thought about it, the more she wanted it…
But it had only been a joke!
End (MINI) Chapter 9