Black Boudoir

Chapter eighteen

That night, Shigure and Kyo were both in the bar. It looked like any other bar tonight, but the light was dim and the entrance carried a sign, saying that the "White Lily" had been closed. They both felt strange, sittin here in outdoor clothes and not the white kimonos they had come to associate with this place. The way this bar was now empty, devoid of fake lust and letcherous or forced winks and side glaces.

Here, they still felt dirty.

Shigure sat at the table, tie undone, hair messy, a glass of booze near at hand, his eyes unfocused. Kyo sat opposite, lost in thought, his suit jacket draped over the back of his chair and his shirt open a little further than decent.

He looked at Shigure, at his slightly sunken eyes and thought ' He's a mess. He's beautiful.' Now this seemed contadictory, but somewhere in the realm of tiredness and alcohol, it made sense. Shigure slumped on the table, his eyes still open, his breathing relaxed and smelling of liquor.

Kyo bent over to touch the dog's hair briefly, his lips once and stood up to carry his friend to his room.

Shigure was laid on his bed, asleep of course and Kyo went to the kitchen to get himself some baking soda and two glasses of water. He got back and mixed the pouder with the water, watching it foam with mild interest. He moved over to the slumbering dog and shook him lightly.

"Hm?"

"Drink this."

"Wha. . . what is it."

"Baking soda. Drink it, you'll have less of a hangover tomorrow."

Shigure tried to sit up but groaned and held his head. Kyo, knowing that the dog was basically being stunned by his now pounding headache helped him sit and propped him up with his arm. He held the glass to his cousin's lips and pressed it against them lightly. Behind the soft flesh, he could guess the resistance of teeth. They must be white, yes, they are white. Kyo was trying to picture them. 'I need to drink some of this myself.' Shigure half- heartedly swallowed, grimacing at the taste. Kyo laid him back down and hastily gulped the liquid in his own glass.

He paced around the kitchenette once, decided against eating anything (the original reason of his pacing) and made towards the door. Something in his mind stopped him. 'What if Shigure needs me? No, he'll be fine. But, I want to stay.'

"Then stay." Shigure said.

Kyo hadn't realised that he had said the last words out loud and, turning, saw Shigure lying there, smiling, his eyes still closed.

Kyo nodded, more to himself than to Shigure, and made his way to the double bed. Before climbing in, he took off his shirt and slacks and grabbed and robe (A/N some kind of sleeping kimono, a yukata I guess, you get them in hotels...) and wrapped it around his body. He didn't think his consciens (A/N:okay, spelling based on Latin. No idea if it's right) could take being half-naked in bed with his cousin.

He lifted the cover and slipped into the warmth provided by the body already lying there.

They both woke up, predictably with hangovers. How they had come to drinking so much, neither of them could remember, but there was the ditinct feeling that the world seemed to be crashing down on them.

Today, they would have to clear things up. They had spent a night in the same bed, and although it was chaste, it still remained what it was. Kyo could've gone to his bed, but he had wanted to stay close to his cousin and his cousin had wanted his presence. What would people think if they had seen them? A thirty year-old in bed with a boy, barely out of his teens. But was it wrong. Kyo had decided that it didn't matter to him, he knew Uo didn't mind (or at least respected his choice) so why was he fussing, why didn't he touch or kiss the person he loved the way he had longed to touch someone all his adolescent life?

They were at breakfast, late of course, sitting cautiously apart from eachother. No one was there, they could have been close, yet, why weren't they. Kyo laid down his chopsticks. He swallowed the food in his mouth.

This would be a stratingpoint. Of what? He didn't know.

"Shigure?" The dog turned.

"How are you feeling." The dog smiled.

"Like I have lead in my scull instead of a brain. You?"

"Pretty much the same."

There was an odd silence. Shigure broke it.

"Look, about last night, and the other day. I enjoyed both and I feel comfortable with this new turn. But what about you? You must have lost your bearings after working here."

"I. I." he stopped. He knew that if he said more it would sound fake. He juste decided to touch Shigure's shoulder and offer a smile, shy, but a smile.

This time, for the first time, Shigure moved forward, clumsily, and brushed his cheek against Kyo's, pulling back and taking Kyo's wrist. He absent mindedly traced the barely visible veins on the soft skin and started caressing the wrist bones almost sensually.

Tohru came in. She blushed.

"I'm sorry for intruding." She said with a smile that told them she had been suspicious of their relationship.

"No, of course not Tohru-chan." Shigure said with his almost too perky smile. When his eyes unkrinkled as she left, there was only sadness there, one that Kyo didn't notice.

As if remembering unfinished business, Shigure bent forward again and almost shyly touched his lips to Kyo's. He couldn't let himself do more, not now. Would he ever?

Shigure was sitting in the room that had been Akito's bedroom and was now Tohru's office ( she insisted on sleeping in her old room.) with Hatori. They were both enjoying silently burning cigarettes.

"You do know you'll hurt him this way, don't you?" Hatori said.

Shigure didn't answer. He didn't know what he would have said, had he done so. There was so much confusion around him now.

"I see how you look at him, I can tell that you know it. You look guilty."

"I am." He croaked softly.

"You're talking about bringing him here, and the initiation?"

He nodded.

"Well, you are guilty of that, but that's not what I mean." A pause.

"I mean your age difference, I mean the fact that you will be labeled again, and so will he. Now that you're finally not a hooker anymore, do you have to be gay?"

"You know that I can't help it."

"I'm sorry, I spoke too quickly."

Hatori placed a reassuring hand on Shigure's shoulder.

The cat and the dog were sitting in the hallway once more, Shigure with a cigarette.

"What if we left?" Shigure said. Kyo looked up. "What do you mean? Here, the city, the country?"

"Why not all of them?"

Kyo pondered this. Travelling always had seemed appealing to him, but had never had the money. He said so.

"I have money. Originally I wanted to leave the country with Tohru."

"I can't accept..." Kyo began.

"Alright, if that's how you feel, I'll wait until you can."

Kyo went to the dog andput his arms around him. Shigure completeed the embrace, all the while, feeling the dizzy sensation he had grown used to in his stomach. They stayed that way for a while, not nowing what to do when they moved and thereby forestalling the separation.

When they did break apart, Shigure brought his hand up to the younger Sohma's face and made a movement as if to touch it, but drew back. Seeing this, Kyo gently took the dog's hand and placed on his face, stroking it with his own. One would have expected him to close his eyes, Shigure certainly was, and so after a few seconds of the hard red stare, turned away. He would wait. Wait until this boy was older, until he himself was older, and maybe, maybe they would be able to find the comfort they were looking for.

End of chapter

Hey! Well, not much going on now. Next chapter will be more interesting and probably either the last or the one before. I'm so sorry to hear that Aiden was sick ( man, sore throats suck) and I hop surgery goes well. I'd like to say thanks to everyone who reviewed. Isa