AN: I apologize so much for the updates being so few and far between! Sadly, unlike with DA, I can't promise anything soon. Let's just say that Emmie and I really need to work on the scene after this. It's a little… well, I wanted to go in one direction, and she wanted to go in another. She's not online for a long time after this, but we have a few days together, so we can at least plan out that part! Anyway, I hope you like it. There's only one thing that makes this scene better… and that's the ending… which we will get to eventually! And those are all promises I will keep!
Enjoy everyone!
Chapter Eleven: Kagome?
Inuyasha was quiet as he slunk through the woods. Kagome's scent was stronger even than the trees around him but he could tell that she running low on energy. The grass wasn't as vibrant in her wake, the birds were no longer moving, and there were no new leaves on the trees. The forest still felt cold and dead, echoing Inuyasha's sentiments.
Kikyo was wrong. He felt like shit. Inuyasha just wanted to slink off, to throw himself in the river and never have to worry about any of this again!
No, no scratch that. He wanted to find out whoever had dared touch his wife, rip off their fingers one by one, and torture them in general, until they became such whimpering piles of feces that they would never think about hurting anyone else again, and would be too disfigured to do so even if they wished. And if they ever did hurt anyone else ever again, he was going to castrate them himself, remove any other appendages left on their body, and then get Miroku's advice on how to kill them in the slowest way possible while causing so much pain that in the end they would beg to meet God and their eternal punishment!
Inuyasha could guarantee that God's punishment would be much, much more bearable.
Finally he saw her, leaning against a tree, her hair spilling over her shoulder. She looked as bas as he felt. Inuyasha pushed forward only a little bit more, the underbrush easily moving under him so that their dying leaves didn't make a sound. "Still feeling ill, Kagome?"
Kagome spun around and watched him. Feeling tired Kagome just allowed herself to slide down the trunk of the tree and sigh. "Tired," Kagome replied, looking up at him. Kagome felt frightened and used her energy for her baby. All of the power she had left in her she was using for her baby's protection.
"Kouga said the images in the mirror were wrong," Kagome said then looked down at her torn shirt. She fingered the gauges in her shirt. "How do you explain these claw marks?" Kagome asked him, fatigue defeating her.
"I don't honestly know," he said gently, never thinking of Naraku and his shape shifting abilities. He stepped forward tentatively, his ears lowered as he tried to make himself look non-threatening.
"You don't have to be tired anymore, Kagome. We can go home, now that Sango's free. You can relax, never to worry about the world sucking your magic out of you. And I will leave, and you'll never have to see me again."
Kagome shivered and hugged herself. "That's just it..." Kagome confessed. "A part of me wishes that more then anything. I wish that you never around me, never there to hurt me and give me nightmares… Do you know I use to wake up in a cold sweat from the memories of my wrist breaking?" Kagome asked softly, her voice shuddering.
"But then again, there's another part of me that keeps whispering that I'll die if I never see you again." Kagome wept, doubling over and hugging her stomach. "I need to go to someone who won't kill my baby..."
He rushed forward when he saw her falter, falling to his knees as he steadied her. His breath caught in his throat, and tears stung his eyes as he stared up at her, at his beautiful wife. "I'm never going to forgive myself for hurting you like that, Kagome. Never! The memories are so vivid to me that sometimes in the night I have to wake up and look at your wrist to make sure it was whole. I always had to look at your cheek to make sure my hand print wasn't really there. I look in the mirror and I wonder why you ever fell in love with me because all I can see his a demon who was weak enough to hurt the one person he only ever wanted to be with more than anything, the one person who means more than life or death to him. If there was a way to go back and to avoid hurting you, even if it meant that I had to forget that someone as special as you ever existed, I would! I do it in a heartbeat if it meant that I would never cause you to cry!"
Like a person drowning, Kagome grabbed onto him for support. "The webs are tightening on my mind. Get it out of me," Kagome pleaded before whimpering. "You hurt me. You should never have forced yourself on me. You're too forceful and rough. You just want to hurt me," Kagome whispered, looking into his amber eyes. "You always hurt."
"That's not what you said the other day," he whispered, his hands running through the ends of her hair before he realized what they were doing. "And I don't. God, Kagome! I never want to hurt you! You're my wife for… for Hell's sake. My wife. And more so! You're the better part of me. Hurting you is like hurting everything that I could one day become, and I don't want to hurt that. I don't want to hurt you."
Inuyasha took her hand and kissed the back of it before he gently pressed it against his chest so she could feel his heartbeat, as if feeling his words weren't enough but letting her know that the heart warming his skin was real would be enough to break through those cobwebs. The ground was hard under his knees, but he didn't want to get up. He didn't want to look menacing to her.
"I never forced myself on you. Don't you remember, Kagome? I even asked you if I could kiss you. You said that you would be mad at me if I didn't. The first time you went to... to show yourself to me, I wouldn't let you because it didn't feel right, and I'm glad that I waited until you were willing to join me in bed, Kagome. You gave me yourself, and that was more than anybody could have asked for, let alone some half breed like me. And there was the time that you asked me why I wasn't kissing you and when I heard you say that, I knew that I could never love anybody else like I love you. Don't you remember, Kagome?"
Kagome sniffed, only remember Kikyo's words. 'Inuyasha will rip off your clothes, towering over you like the master he forced you to call him when he showed you off to his friends, even letting them hurt you and grope you like a mangy cur. Is that love, Kagome? You'll beg and cry, but it will do no good, and then the bastard will bite you again, proving his dominion as he lets your life force drip out of you like he did to me, leaking out all your power so that you can do nothing when he slams your wrists above your head with one hand, letting the other hand seek what he wants, touching you and toying with you until your body submits and he can easily enter you, not wanting to hurt that region of you too much so that it will open easily for him whenever he looks at you the right way.'
"I don't remember..." she whispered, feeling sad at the loss. Could this really be the same man Kikyo was talking about? He was so loving, and he was sweet... Kagome shook her head. Doubling over again, Kagome held onto her stomach, her hand clasping his. "Something's wrong."
Panic echoed in his eyes before he realized what it was. "You're using all your magic to protect the baby…." He didn't bother asking why, fearing the answer. Instead, he touched her stomach gently, marveling that there was a baby in there, and that Kagome was using herself to protect them, and didn't matter if the things she shielded them from were real or imaginary to Inuyasha. He wanted to protect their child too. When he recalled his fight with Sesshomaru and a hundred other memories flooded into his mind at her words, some good and some bad, he knew that he had to do.
He kissed her stomach, but he could not bring himself make a vow to the child to always protect them. He had broken so many vows already! He stared at the ring a moment. At least there were some promises he would never break.
Inuyasha stared up at Kagome, his golden eyes begging her. "You're running out of energy. Let me help you protect our child, Kagome. Our child! I was so sorry for ever having jumped to conclusions, Kagome. There's no way the child is anything other than yours and mine. Let me help protect them too."
'When you tried to retaliate and he refused to let you by proving he could control your sex… you didn't want it, did you? 'You ruined it all.' That's what you told him, shouted at him as he held you to the bed, pumping away at you, heedless of your own pleasures and only of his much he wanted you to want him.
'Hasn't he said that to you? 'Say my name'. He likes knowing that he's the one that makes you moan, that he's the one who holds your pathetic life in your hands.' Kagome's mind whispered Kikyo's poison, her eyes widening at Inuyasha.
She wanted to scurry away when she felt his hand on her stomach, but she just couldn't. It felt so right there. And when he kissed her stomach... Kagome could swear the barely existing baby inside of her gave a wave of power, wanting its daddy. Kagome sighed; she wanted daddy too. But the words still floated around in her head.
"S-spell..." Kagome managed to wretch out, before screaming in pain as images Kanna showed her flowed through her mind again and the voice of doubt ate away at her.
Her scream pierced his heart, but fed him hope all at the same time. Was this working? He willingly opened himself up to her, showing him everything that was inside his heart and his mind, and even his soul, more eager to show her that than anything else.
"We fight Kagome. God, I can't get over how many time we fight! You tell me that you hate me. And I yell back that I hate you, and I always stick my foot in my mouth, just about ruining everything! But no matter what we say to each other when we're mad, I know I wouldn't be able to live without you. Because…"
His voice trailed away. His throat felt dry, but he continued. "Because you know who I am. Kagome, I love it when you say my name. Nobody ever says it the way that you do. It makes me feel like I could really be a prince. It makes me feel like I belong. You say my name, and I can feel how much you love me. And I love saying yours, Kagome. It sounds so musical. Kagome Higurashi. I can't wait until our baby has a voice, so they can give us whole new names."
He smiled up at her, with a special smile that seemed to reserve just for her. "But I still want you to call me Inuyasha. Hearing you say my name reminds me of who I am. And that's not a demon, not a half breed, not a pirate or a prince, but just a man, Kagome. And one who loves you unconditionally, no matter what you call him."
Kagome's trembling stopped a bit as she listened to him. She loved his voice, and how honest he was. Closing her eyes, Kagome liked the thought that she had made him realize he couldn't live without her.
"I did ask you three times..." Kagome whispered, her brown eyes regaining some clarity as she began climbing out from the webs spun about her mind.
She placed her hands over his. Kagome smiled. "I want babies giving us names," Kagome whispered softly, like lulling into a light sleep. "In..." Kagome tried to say his name, but then the venomous words shot back at her.
"You raped Kikyo!" Kagome pushed away herself from him and curled up. Inuyasha lay sprawled in front of her in the grass, caught off guard. "You lied... I should never have... I lost it all to you... And you didn't... You just... You lied. You didn't even tell me about the human side..."
"No! No, I never touched Kikyo, not like that! The most I ever did was kiss her, Kagome, that was it, I swear it. And I didn't kill her either!" He moved closer, only a little bit. "Remember Shippo? He told you want happened to me? Would our little fox lie, Kagome? And yes, I didn't tell you about the human side. I never thought to. Part of me thought that you would know, being a Priestess, part of me was used to keeping a secret because that's the time when I'm at the most physically vulnerable. And all of me was so happy I completely lost track of the time! Kagome, when I hold you in my arms sometimes, I can't even tell what day it is or how long we're there, because it feels like an eternity!"
As he spoke, he crawled forward, sitting down across from her on the grass and reaching for hers lowly, laying his hand between them. All she had to do was take it.
Inuyasha's face softened. "I can count you all the lies I've ever told you on one hand. One, I never hated you. I've only ever loved you. And two, I never gave anybody to Kouga, Kagome. Because there was only ever Kikyo before you, and my brother killed her."
Kagome's face softened, but her body shuddered as she searched his face. "But the images..." Kagome gulped remembering Kouga telling her the mirror showed lies. "Sesshomaru never raped me," Kagome whispered softly, her hand touching her stomach. "I've only slept with one man." Her eyes shied away from his. "It's only your bed that I have ever enjoyed. So this baby must be yours," Kagome reasoned, then smiled. "Our little fox..." Kagome closed her eyes and allowed her fingers to pet over Inuyasha's hand, the same that was reaching for her.
Tilting her head to the side, causing her hair to fall over, Kagome watched him intently, not meaning to show the little, hardly noticeable mark left from where his bite should've been most potent. Winding her fingers through his, Kagome remembered laying beneath him as he tickled her senseless one morning, she remembered his toes and how they tickled...
"Do you love me?" she asked, still not bringing herself to say his name.
"More than life itself," he answered, ignoring the sadness that flared when he saw her neck. She must have hated him with all her being if it had been enough to start destroying the bond that they shared!
His free hand reached out and pulled her into his lap and his thumb brushed her cheek gently, the hand on his stomach stroking her as if she were a cuddly kitten. "Kagome, I love you so much that I fought my own flesh and blood to protect you. It's your hand that mine took in marriage. I love you so much that I can't find the rights words to tell you how I deeply I care for you, how sorry I am that I hurt you, and how happy I am when I wake up and find that you're beside me and it's not all a dream. No words can ever be written to tell you how much I love you, Kagome, and no actions will be grand enough or kind enough."
He kissed her nose, and then her forehead, and he felt something there. It was hard. Inuyasha lifted his head to stare at her, puzzled, almost wishing that Miroku was there so he could hypothesize what had happened to Inuyasha's beloved wife. "Kagome?"
Kagome snuggled close to him, drawing on his strength, leaning on his power to ease her own suffering. Snuggling close, Kagome found his warmth comforting. "It's the small things I remember... How at night, even if its warm or you are hot, you pull the covers over us both and snuggle close to me," Kagome whispered, tugging his robe. "You know how I get cold," Kagome whispered. "I love the way your ears feel, the way your teeth make my skin feel when they graze over them. Those talks we shared..."
Kagome closed her eyes, ignoring the voice inside of her. "Swear to me you'll never hurt me. Swear to me you'll never do what she said you would," Kagome pleaded. "You won't kill our baby and you won't harm me?" Kagome asked like a lost little child.
"I'm never going to hurt you again. And when our child is born I'm going to be right there so you can yell at me all you want. And I'm not going to hurt our baby, and you can hold it first, and then while you are asleep I'll put it to bed for you. And you can train them to be a priest or a priestess, and I will teach them about the sea and fighting and all the things I know. Shippo will be a big brother to them. And we won't stop having babies until you're satisfied."
"Kikyo touched my head," she confided to him. "That's when the cobwebs starting flowing. It's a spell to latch onto darkness in one's heart," Kagome told him in a rush, before she spell pulled her under again, causing her to go silent.
His eyes never left hers, but he was still aware of that damned thing in her forehead, but he knew that her body was trying to reject it. Inuyasha held her closer, as if the thing was some vile disease that could be removed by warmth. He smiled, rocking her back and forth.
"You will yell at me because I will tell them tales of treasure and adventure. You'll yell at Miroku for teaching them about sex and for the bedtime stories he teaches them, about how their parents and their aunt and uncle and their brother all worked together to mutiny on a pirate ship. And at first they will do as babies do: they'll be ill, and cry, and poop, and cry, and cry! But we won't mind at all because it means our baby is healthy, and they will grow into healthy adults and… and protect our city.
"I will look for a way to become human, if you want me to." He chuckled gently. "And oh, you'll raise a tempest when our little girl, because we'll have to eventually have a little girl, Kagome, will fall in love with Miroku's fine though lecherous son. But our little girl will have your eyes and she'll look up at you with them and you won't be able to say no!"
Kagome began crying and laughing at the same time. "You horrible man, making me laugh at a time like this." Kagome let out between gasps reaching up, Kagome pulled him down, knowing she was probably breaking his back but not caring. "Shut up and kiss me," Kagome whispered, feeling the webs begin to burn and fall away from her mind, feeling her heart begin to grow free of its nightmares.
Kissing him, Kagome raked her hands over his face and through his hair. "I don't want you human. I like you just the way you are," Kagome whispered. She slowly pulled away, the few last remnants of the spell still latching onto her. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha. Regardless… I can't. I cant. I... I can't be with you anymore, because... I would never have fallen into that spell if I didn't already have doubt in me. I... Inuyasha, you cause a darkness in my heart. And no matter how much light you created to light it up, there will always remain shadows. If they weren't there to begin with, none of this would've happened. You're a weakness to me... and I can't stand that right now. I just... I'm sorry. It was a dream, but like with all good dreams, I've woken up to the harsh reality that it WAS all but a dream."
She needed to break their bond. She had too. It was the only way to remain safe.
Pulling the ring off of her finger she held it out to him. "I'm sorry Inuyasha, but I can't... I love you. But I can't... I wish you never had kidnapped me. I never... Inuyasha, goodbye."
Kagome began getting up. "We'll only cause each other more pain," Kagome whispered, though her thoughts still lingered on the pictures he had now planted there. Of them with children, raising them, having a family... Watching them grow up. "It could've been bliss."
He accepted the ring; he had to. But then he stood up, and caught her hand, closing her fingers around it. "It's yours, Kagome. It's not mine to accept back. And I'm sorry that I created shadows in your heart, but you've had one thing right at least. It was me that put them there, because I never trusted you enough, Kagome. I talked to you, but never about serious things. Never about children, or about my brother, or how you would feel when out babies had claws and puppy ears…."
He took in a deep breath, his hand slowly tightening around hers, as if trying to hold on to her a moment longer. His gold eyes were intense as he stared up at her. "I won't stop you from leaving me, Kagome, but I will stop it from being here, and now. Wait until we get back home. Stay with me until then, until Miroku opens up the portal and I can make sure that you're safe. And Shippo can stay with you, because you're a better role model for him than I am. But… But I…I want you to bite me, Kagome!"
Inuyasha stared at her, his expression serious, and his voice was tight as he straightened. "This is still our baby, and I won't let them be raised without a father." He kissed her lips gently, his hands rubbing her arms. "Besides, they say that if somebody comes back to you, then it means they really do care for you, and I need to give you that chance to fly away. I already had mine, and I didn't even flap my wings. You should at least be able to stretch yours."
Kagome caressed his face and watched it, as though she could etch its very being into her memory. "You..." Kagome leaned her forehead against his, her lips kissing his. "The spell is still inside of me. Take it out." Kagome asked of him, her fingers untying his robe. "Help me." Kagome begged. "Then we'll sit, and we'll talk about how I want us to have kids. With puppy dog ears and yellow eyes, claws and all." Kagome sighed, "I want us to talk about how much I love you... How we clipped each others wings and are happy to be grounded. Aren't we?" Kagome asked falling into his arms. "The land is killing me." Kagome confessed. "And I want to heal it."
"You're not making any more sense to me, Kagome," he confessed. She sounded like she was sick, disoriented with a fever. "I don't know how. How can I take it out?" His words paused when she kissed him and he kissed her back, barely able to contain himself. Inuyasha didn't want to frighten her away, but at the same time he needed her. He let her have complete control, opening his mouth to hers, and pausing when she pushed his shirt off his shoulders. "I want you to heal the land too. I want to see this world become as bright as the human one, to let you work your magic on them the same way you worked it on me."
Kagome smiled tiredly and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "If I don't break the spell," Kagome whispered pausing to kiss him, "I'll lose the baby. I can't keep channeling energy," Kagome explained, needing him to help her now, more then ever. More then on the pirate ship with the demons, more then against Sesshomaru, more then when her cake caught fire in the stove. Kagome sighed. "I can't focus my thoughts, the more webs I slice through the more grow," Kagome whined.
Kagome licked the skin around his collar bone and leaned her forehead against his shoulder. Running her fingers down his arms, to his hands, Kagome brought them up to her face and curled one hand up, so that only the index finger remained pointing. "I want to heal the land with you. Just like we work it together at home." Kagome dipped his finger into her mouth and sucking on it slowly, before pulling it out and running his nail in circles on her forehead.
"You still need to do a lot of fixing around the house." Kagome reminded, though another false memory tried to ruin that one. "It's up to you." Kagome told him, showing him the most belief one could ever offer another person, she placed her life and that of their baby in his hands. She land her hands fall away, his finger covering the pulsing thing in her forehead. "Save us, my prince."
Drawing her close, he tilted her backwards, letting his lips run over her exposed neck as their made their way up to her forehead. He suppressed growling all the way, his throat softening his growls into something softer, and he purred, even though he didn't know why, except that it made him feel happy. He smelled her the whole way, but his passion and naivety were rolled together so tightly that all he could smell was Kagome. He couldn't even smell himself; just her and his child.
When he passed her neck his teeth hovered over the pale mark on her neck. His instincts told him to bite her again, to strengthen their bond further, but his heart told him no. If he healed her, there would be no need to mark her flesh because Kagome's heart would be free and it could fix everything.
Oh, he wanted to have her call him her prince again!
Inuyasha's lips brushed her cheek, and his lips kissed her closed eyes, in between mumbled apologies, fearing that this might hurt his precious wife. Finally, his mouth touched over her third eye, and it could feel the despicable jewel there. It pulsed and wriggled like a thing alive, squirming and straining to delve deeper into her mind. His heart ached for her. How strong Kagome was to fight something so slippery and suggestive! He kissed her forehead, and the stirring stopped, yet still it sat there and pulsed, like a wolf hiding in the shadows for his prey to turn before he pounced. Inuyasha kissed her third eye again, and his lips grazed the skin as they had over a month ago, to her neck. "I'm sorry, Kagome…" He mumbled, his nose tickled by the bangs of her hair, and kissed that spot fiercely, trying to draw the jewel out with his kiss.
Something cold and steaming hot slid between his teeth. Still holding Kagome with one hand, he held out his other hand and spat the jewel out. He let out a hiss of surprise when the shard move. Kagome had been right about spider webs. Eight ghastly legs sprouted from the shard at various angles. The mandibles clicked rapidly, and before Inuyasha could get over his shock, the teeth like protrusions dug into his flesh, seeking out the dark shadows lurking in Inuyasha.
He dropped it like it was a hot amber. He splattered on the ground before collecting to its feet, hissing and spitting like a wild animal. Without even thinking about it, Inuyasha drew his sword and stabbed it cleanly. All the time he kept Kagome from seeing it.
Inuyasha straightened, staring at his wife. "Kagome?"