.disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin does not belong to me and neither do the lyrics on this page.
Thanks to Badtz, Joann, Snow Leopard, Theblackdemoness, simplee sweet, Reignashii, Aya 45, Sims are awesome, and royal blue Kitsune for reviewing! Thanks! I'll try to make this chapter longer and I hope you enjoy it! Please try to review-it helps motivate me…
Bloody Roses
Four
Ill never let you see
The way my broken heart is hurting me
I've got my pride and I know how to hide
All my sorrow and pain
I'll do my crying in the rain
Raindrops falling from heaven
Could never wash away my misery
But since we're not together,
I'll look for stormy weather
To hide these tears
I hope you'll never see
-"Crying in the Rain", by The Everyly Brothers
He couldn't stop his hands from trembling slightly as he sat in the backseat of the taxi, couldn't help but notice how fast his heart was beating…He would find her again and everything would be alright. But even as he said those words quietly in his head, he doubted himself. What if she's happy the way she is? And an even bigger doubt lingered in the back of his mind like a dark, blotted shadow upon a clear white background. It was a hesitation that only appeared him his dreams, in a dark voice that spoke to him. He had tried to forget it, just concentrating on finding her again, but now, in the empty silence, the voice appeared again. Why don't you feel angry at all that she left you, just left you because she didn't love you enough to stay? Don't you feel angry, wrathful that she just ran away? She was supposed to stay forever, not leave you hanging there in the dust trying to find her again….Don't you just want to hurt her, punish her for doing that? He knew that a small sliver of him, in the deepest parts of his mind, did have those feelings, the feeling of rage and uncontrollable frenzy…and he wasn't sure if her would be able to control himself when he saw her …He didn't want to hurt her-it has Kaoru-and yet a part of him told him that he should… He didn't know if he would be able to hold that part of him down when he saw her…and remembered that she had left him…
"Sir," The voice of the taxi driver shattered his thoughts. "We've reached your destination-Tokyo. That will be forty dollars and thirty nine cents please."
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The tears ran down her face, salty and wet-mingling with the raindrops that splashed down from the sky. Smile, she told herself, Don't be so pathetic. You weren't like this before. Look at yourself…You were the one who left. So stop regretting it and just smile. Just smile and forget… She forced the corners of her mouth up…up into a rueful smile, but she couldn't keep it up, the tears just kept on coming. She just couldn't forget the way he used to smile at her, the way he used to hold her hand…
She hoped he didn't hate her. She hoped he wouldn't miss her too much…She hoped that he would just forget her…She hoped…just hoped that they could both live happily ever after, just like the fairytale…But as the raindrops flew down on her and everything became dark, she knew it couldn't' come true...It was her fault for ruining his life…and it was her fault she had ruined her own fairytale ending…………And she started to cry again…Her chest was aching….
She could see the sky turning into dawn's shades of pastel colors-orange, red and pink… She knew she had to pick herself up, gather up the broken pieces of herself and go to work, plaster on a smile like everything was all right, pretend that her past was just as empty as everyone else. Her face was caked in tears and she slowly, laboriously stood up from the cold cement ground, from the dark alley where she had spent the night. She couldn't feel her own feet, even as she trudged towards the place she called home, towards the empty apartment where cold wrapped around her more than it ever did before.
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He didn't know where she would be. He didn't know where he would find her. He hoped luck would strike and he would see her, walking down the street with a happy smile stuck to her face, and dressed in real fur and jewelry. But he also didn't want to see her, wanted to go back, regretting that he had even come this far. He didn't want to see her and then hurt her. He didn't want her to see his eyes filled with an amber craze.
Night had already come and he didn't know where to go. He could go back to the hotel Katsura had already arranged for him, but his feet led him on. He thought he saw stains on the floor, dark stains that looked like blood, but everything he looked closer, he found there was nothing there.
He thought of himself, and he thought of her, and he wondered how they had ever met. She had been like sunshine and he had been like a grey shadow, nothing until he met her. He thought of her, of how she had laughed, of how she had smiled, of how she had cried…and of how she had left that day…The dark stain in his mind grew whenever he thought of her leaving, no matter how much he told himself he would never in the world hurt her…
He heard footsteps, drunken and wobbling steps, coming towards him. He turned around slowly, expecting a stranger, but instead, he saw her blue eyes. When he blinked and they did not disappear his heartbeat nearly stopped. He couldn't move. All he saw was her, standing in front of him on the dark street, soaking wet, staring back at him, and looking as if she had seen a ghost…His mind was cracking in half………The dark stain in his head was growing and his hand was shaking…..
There we go! Much longer, don't you think? Please review and tell me what you think!