Happy birthday to ME…

Chapter 1 – Marital Bliss…

Phage was currently attempting to escape the house without having to eat breakfast, but as usual didn't succeed. The ominous threat of his beloved wielding a frying pan scared him more than anything. He let Jack drag him into the kitchen where he sat down next to a smiling four year old, and opposite of a one year old in a high chair. Aw, most would say. But Phage knew better than to waste precious time fawning over his two children. Right now he needed to eat, and then head out to start work on the farm. There was so much work he had to do, he was afraid that he was going to scream. At least Lumina still dropped by to help him. James, Phage and Jack's four year old son was currently sitting silently waiting patiently for his food. James's younger sister however was screaming all the while the only word she knew: shit. It was her first word, and while Jack and any other parent in their right mind would be horrified Phage had been so proud of his little daughter learning such a valuable word so early. The reason that Amelia (their daughter) had learned the word in the first place was simply this:

Phage had had a hard day, as much as he loved the success of the farm and the money load he was getting from it, it took a lot of work. That work took a lot of time out of his day, time he could be spending with his family but…"Holy Shit!" Phage suddenly exclaimed as he ran his toe into a block that his daughter had been playing with. The man was shocked out of the pain at the sound of his precious baby girl repeating the phrase in all its glory. "That's my girl!" Phage said enthusiastically sitting down beside her and ruffling her brownish orange hair.

Jack came back to the table with a large plate of French toast, bacon, scrambled eggs, and freshly squeezed orange juice. James took two pieces of French toast, one handful of bacon, and waited for his 'daddy' to serve him some scrambled eggs. Amelia had first priority on scramble eggs, because it was one of the few breakfast foods soft enough for her to chew with her new teeth. Phage looked back on when he had found out that Jack had been pregnant with James. Or more reasonably that Jack could get pregnant at all.

Phage was very worried, even though Jack had hit him with a frying pan so many times to stop worrying that Phage had lost count. Currently his brunette 'babe' as Phage liked to call him was hurling out all the food he had eaten in the past 24 hours into the toilet. It had been like this for a week so far. Even though Jack had protested, Phage had insistently put him on the B.R.A.T. diet. Bananas.Rice.Applesauce.Toast. The stuff that was easiest to keep down when you were sick. Finally Phage took him to Hardy who now lived in Nina and Galen's house. Phage was now waiting outside of Hardy's house sitting on the ground thinking through all the worst case scenarios. Jack was dying of some disease inflicted upon him by the milk of the grumpy cow Jelly that Phage had finally just gotten milk from. Or possibly-

"Phage!" Hardy called.

Phage shot up to his feet and hurried into the building.

"What's wrong Hardy? Is he dying? I knew it, and you know whose fault it is? Jelly's, she's the grumpy cow, she must've given me bad milk because she's grumpy!"

"If it was anybody's fault it would be yours, oh loveable worry wart of mine." Jack said simply, "I'm pregnant."

Phage stopped his rambling for a minute, "Wait, hold on just a second my love did you fail biology when you were in school?"

"No, I didn't," Jack looked slightly offended, "It was the harvest sprites, they spiked our wine on the night of our 'honey moon' with some of their weird potiony stuff."

"Oh, I'm going to murder them in their sleep!" Phage shook his fist at invisible garden gnomes.

"Why Phage? This means we don't have to adopt!" Jack smiled from his place at the patient's bed.

Phage gave up the scowl and came up behind his lover to rub his shoulders and neck.

"You're right, this is a good thing. But I still have to maim them for spiking our honey moon wine…wait, I drank that wine too…" Phage looked like he might faint.

"You are never going to take me, you hear me Jack? Never…" Phage told him.

Phage wolfed down his food, and then shot out of his chair. He ruffled James's hair affectionately, receiving a giggle from the usually silent boy. The father kissed the 'mother' and on his way to the door kissed his baby girl on the forehead. Phage headed outside to find Lumina already there picking fruits and gently putting them in a hand basket.

"Hello my angel!" Phage called.

Lumina turned and beamed at him before calling out, "Hello my fruit!"

Ever since Phage had gone through the town and told every one that he and Jack had gotten married, Lumina had been slightly disappointed but still was his best friend. One day she had decided that if he was going to marry Jack than he had to let her call him 'fruit'. It was pretty ironic considering that his main profit came off of selling fruit seeds.

"When did you get here?" Phage asked her picking up an empty fruit basket of his own.

"Well, I woke up really early this morning for some reason I'm not sure of," The fourteen-year-old replied, "I was really bored, and I didn't feel like painting so I got here a couple hours early. But think of all the work I've gotten done Phage! I've already filled up two seed makers, I've checked on the cows groomed all of them. I've fed all the ducks and chickens and collected eggs. I've already shipped all of the milk I found in the milking room. All that's left to do is pick the fruit from the lemon tree like we are now and put it in the remaining seed makers."

Phage looked appreciatively over at the girl who faithfully helped him day in and day out. Though her work came at a tall price of 10 G per hour, Phage thought he could handle it. He winked at her as she started carrying her now full basket towards the tool shed. Myishi farm was now a huge success. They rake in over 100,000 G every season of the year from fruit seed sales alone. Than there was the cheese, butter, and milk sales all of the highest quality got at least over 20,000 G in town every season. That didn't include all of the crops and dairy products they kept for themselves in the fridge. Every season they produced so many different high quality vegetables they didn't feel like selling that they kept them all. They had to have food for themselves, right? Currently in spring they were finishing up the strawberry, and potato harvest while beginning the growth of tomatoes, and watermelons. All year round they always had what they needed, and never went without a meal. If the farm suddenly dipped in production Phage had a good sized amount of money in the bank.

"Alright, if you give me your basket I can go put those away now and then you'll be done. You can have a free day with your family. Goodness knows you haven't had a family day since Jack dragged you in on Valentines Day." Lumina smirked at him before roughly taking the basket out of his hands and carrying it towards the tool shed.

Phage grinned at her before pulling out a two 100 G bills. Lumina really deserved it this time, he hadn't asked her to show up early, or do all of his work. In fact, all he usually asked her to help out with was fruit picking, but apparently she had this all planned out ahead of time. This was her reason for waking up so early. Lumina walked out of the tool shed and was about to leave when Phage stopped her. He pressed the two bills in her hands even though Lumina protested that she had done this all as a gift to him, Phage ignored her. After he had put the money firmly in her hands he shoved her off of the farm and ordered her to go into town and buy herself something nice.

Phage groaned that girl was almost too modest at times. He walked back into the house and had to make a gap between his legs to avoid a gleeful four year old dashing out the door two full grown beagle-whippet mixes hot on his pursuit. Bob and Joe were a decent size now and around four years old, but they hadn't lost any of their puppyish like enthusiasm over the years. Phage smirked and closed the door. The man walked over to his daughter who was sitting on the floor coloring something that looked very much like him and her outside sitting around Smithie's roots. It was very good for a one year old really. Phage ran his hand tenderly over her gorgeous hair that was currently up in adorable pig tails. At that precise moment, Jack walked in, his apron still on he couldn't help 'awwing' at the sight. Phage looked up as did Amelia. The cavity cute moment was ruined by Amelia proudly saying 'Holy Shit' at the top of her lungs. Phage laughed loud at his daughter's impeccable timing. Jack frowned deeply; he had never liked the fact that Phage had encouraged their daughter to swear at such a young age.

"What are you doing in here if you have 'so much work to do'?" Jack asked sourly.

"Lumina woke up really early and surprised me by getting all of the work done so that I could have a family day with you guys." Phage replied in a mocking sort of tone as if to imitate his husband.

"Oh, sometimes I really don't know what I'm going to do with you!" Jack exclaimed hitting his mate over the head with a dirty kitchen rag.

Amelia laughed and crawled into her dad's lap. In less than a minute she was curled against his chest, snoring loudly, officially dead to the world. Phage found great amusement in watching his daughter sleep. She snored so loud that sometimes she would wake herself up with her own snoring, then she would loudly proclaim to the world 'Holy Shit!', then roll back over and go back to sleep. Many of the people who lived in the valley said that she would be the cutest baby they had ever seen if it wasn't for her potty mouth. It had taken Phage a while to comprehend exactly why that would be a problem and why everybody didn't think that his daughter was the cutest baby in the world.

"Stop hitting me with your cleaning rags! You've been married to me for four years now; you'd think you'd know that I'm like this!" Phage exclaimed in a stage whisper.

"I do know you're like this, but I still can be frustrated by it!" Jack said in the same stage whisper voice.

Amelia twitched in her sleep and both parents held their breaths. But when Amelia didn't wake up they went right back to fighting.

"How come you can be frustrated by things that I do, but I can't be frustrated about the things you do?" Phage asked harshly.

"I never said you couldn't!"

"Yeah but whenever I am you guilt me into feeling bad about getting angry, and then when you get angry I'm just supposed to take it in stride! That's not fair!" Phage said.

"I cannot make you feel guilty about something, that's your choosing." Jack told him, his hands were now on his hips, a sign that he was starting to get really angry.

"Well than I can't make you get frustrated, that your choosing!" Phage retorted.

Jack's eyes were blazing, "Why do you always have to mock me like that? Its immature and just plain annoying!"

"Why do you always have to get pissed by some little thing!" Phage asked, abandoning the fierce battle whisper they had been using before.

"I don't get pissed off by some little thing!" Jack shouted back.

By now Amelia was awake, sniffling quietly. But after Jack had shouted she couldn't take it anymore and openly started crying at the frightening noise that her parents were making.

"Now look what you've done, you've woken up the baby because you couldn't leave something alone!" Jack shouted, taking Amelia from Phage's arms.

Jack left the room, cooing gently to his baby trying to make her tears stop as maternal instinct took over.

"Sure, everything is always my fault!" Phage got up and kicked the wall.

So much for a family day! If Lumina found out that he had seriously screwed up any family happy-togetherness that she had worked hard for him to achieve, then she would be really angry with him. Phage walked outside and hopped over the fence and stormed into the middle of the pasture where he promptly fell to the ground and seethed to himself. This was how he handled fights with Jack. They would scream at each other as quietly as possible, until both of them snapped. Then they would storm off to each of their respective hiding places where they would both cool off. Later that day Phage would inevitably give up and crawl on hands and knees into the kitchen where Jack would sit in a bad mood and beg for forgiveness. That was how it always went. But right now Phage tried to ignore his fate by lying in the middle of the pasture right next the pond he had installed a couple of years ago. It wasn't long before Bessie was came over and instantly with her commanding 'moo' ordered all the other cows to come over as well. Once the whole herd had arrived they all lay around him as if to form a protective wall. Bessie as usual lay right next to him, every once in a while lapping at his face. It was amazing really, that his cows were sensitive to how he was feeling, and tried so hard to make him feel better, and to protect him. They were cows, for god's sakes! But good cows, nonetheless…Phage looked back on how his life had been four years ago, before he had showed up in Forget-me-not valley. He would go to work where he worked in some fancy office as something or other, late at night he would go to bars and pick up one-night-stands and then the next morning would start the whole process over again. Back then he really had not reason to live; now he did. Phage had a family, one that he loved. He had husband, and two children whom he loved more than anything in the whole world. Even though Jack thought otherwise, Phage hated fighting with him. He didn't like to see the beautiful brunette upset. But then again, Phage realized, they needed to fight to have a healthy relationship. If they didn't fight than that meant they really didn't know anything about each other and weren't comfortable enough with each other to fight. It they were happy all the time, well, that would just be scary.

Phage woke up not really remembering having fallen asleep. The reason why he was waking up, James had wandered into the field and told him that dinner was ready and that 'daddy' wanted him to come home right away. Phage got up and stepped over the wall of cows that had protected him from the outside world, that wall was now fast asleep. The orange-haired man scooped up his son in his arms and looked at him, actually truly looked at him for the first time that day. He had Jack's hair but Phage's face and eyes. James was more like his 'daddy' in the way he acted, obedient, patient, and quiet. Much unlike his younger sister. Amelia had a mix between Jack and Phage's hair, but had Jack's sweet face, and Phage's attitude as well as vocabulary. Phage loved both of his children so much he could barely suck air. Soon He had walked into the house where he set down his son and together they walked into the kitchen. Jack had prepared fish stew, Ruby's special curry, and a lovely fruit salad. He had also brought out a large pitcher of star milk. He poured a substantial amount of milk into everyone's glasses and then sat down, deciding that Phage should serve the children that night. And Phage did, he picked up the ladle in the fish stew and carefully served some into Amelia's baby bowl, and put some curry on the side. He then served some stew and curry to James, while putting a good healthy portion of salad on the boy's side plate as well. After that Phage got out of his seat and poured the stew (unasked) into Jack's bowl, put some salad on his side plate which he cut up for him (as he had for James) and served him just the right amount of curry. Phage served himself last, and then waited for Jack to take a bite before eating. He could tell that he was doing all of the right things, as Jack looked a little less smug than he had when Phage had walked in.

After dinner, Phage softly told Jack to stay seated, and that the small brunette wouldn't be cleaning up that night. While Phage cleaned up the dinner, Jack sat stubbornly at the table, trying to fight the overwhelming urge to apologize for the way he had acted earlier that day.

"James, could you get your sister ready for bed, please? And then make sure that she gets to sleep?" It was more of an instruction than a request, and James followed through dutifully.

Phage then picked Jack up bridal style and carried him into the bathroom where he closed and locked the door behind them. The taller male slowly undressed his love, before starting a bath into which he poured Jack's favorite bath oil. Soon the bath was full of warm water that smelled of lavender and lemons. Phage picked up Jack and carefully set him down in the bath. Jack let his husband keep going, knowing that this was his way of apologizing for being such an ass earlier. Phage poured water he had coupled in his hands onto Jacks soft hair. Then he picked up Jack's favorite shampoo and poured some into his hands. He worked his fingers in soothing circles on Jack's sensitive scalp. After he was done washing Jack's hair he started on washing the rest of his body with the same bath oil that he had put into the bath water.

When Phage had finished washing Jack all over, he drained the bath and picked Jack out of the tub, and then dried him off gently with one of the fluffy white towels hung up on the towel rack. Phage looked adoringly at Jack, then he kissed his mate deeply, in that one kiss he pleaded for forgiveness. The shorter male responded by kissing him back, wrapping his arms around the neck of his mate.

When they broke apart for air Jack whispered, "I'm sorry I was so frustrated with you earlier it's just, I've been so stressed about the kids and the farm. This is our busiest season, and I know that you've been working so hard…I've missed you."

"Its alright, Lumina finished harvesting the last fruits of the season today. All we have to do now is the animal work and selling seeds to Van." Phage smiled as Jack nuzzled his face into that crook in the taller male's neck that he always did.

"How bout this? After the chores are done tomorrow, which shouldn't take long, (I'll wake up extra early) you, the kids and I go into town and go shopping." Phage suggested.

Jack nodded against his neck, and Phage quickly dressed him before taking him into the bedroom/living room/entry way and put him in bed. Ah, the sweet beauty of marital bliss…

Chapter 2 – Steven, Joey, Mark, Matt, Jimmy, and Timmy

Phage sluggishly slumped into the kitchen, after many tiring minutes he had finally gotten the kids to settle down and go to bed. Jack was happily floating around the kitchen, deciding where everything that he had bought would go. The brunette male had gone and literally bought out Pier 1 Imports, Hallmark, and any other interior design store that you could imagine. Phage however exhausted he was, enjoyed the sight of Jack happily decorating their kitchen to the best extent that he could at the moment. The taller man knew that his husband wanted to go shopping and buy nice things for the house, and new clothes for the children, and things. They certainly had more than enough money, but Phage didn't really want Jack to buy something farming related thinking that it would be a help. Phage liked the way the farm was now, he wasn't interested in any new tools, however much of a help they might be. His mate knew this, and thusly had kept quiet about how much he had wanted to go shopping. But when the opportunity was offered to him, Jack took it and then bought all that he could, knowing that it would probably be his last chance for a very long while.

"Thanks so much for taking us shopping, honey! I just love all of the things you bought me. Look at this; finally we can have some color in this room other than brown." Jack continued on his mission to decorate ever inch of the kitchen while he talked.

Phage smiled, "You're welcome, dear. But think about the kids, was stopping by the candy factory really the best idea?"

"Come to think of it, probably not. But when was the last time you've seen them that happy? You know that you haven't spent that much time with us in weeks. Couldn't you hire some help or something? You know we have the money." Jack insisted, Phage knew suddenly that this was very important to his mate for the brunette instantly stopped decorating.

"Jack, no. I don't want this to turn into a non-family business farm. I don't want to hire workers. Before you mention her, Lumina volunteered, and she's my best friend that's why I allow her to help me. Normally I would have shoved her off the farm, but you know that Lumina would give me hell until I did let her work." Phage explained, coming up in front of his husband and wrapping loving arms around his shoulders.

"But you know that I'll give you hell about getting workers until you do!" Jack ripped himself from Phage's arms.

Phage almost didn't know what to do; Jack was dead set on him getting farm hands. The orange-haired youth really didn't want farm hands damn it! Why couldn't Jack just leave it alone? Phage stopped that train of thought, he really didn't want to get angry at Jack now, that would just start a fight and the kids were trying to sleep or otherwise. He turned around, trying to find a peaceful way to sort this out and get what he wanted when he heard soft whimpers escaping a huddled up figure. Phage's face immediately turned from calculating to worry as he went up behind his love and wrapped his arms around him.

"I just want to be able to see you during the day, instead of for a few minutes before bed." Phage reasoned that actually he was with Jack for probably a couple of hours before bed but decided that now wouldn't be the best time to mention it, "Jack I love you, you know that. But I don't want our farm to become a corporation or anything."

"The only reason you're saying no to this is because you're stubborn and you don't want things to (god forbid) change! Why can't we just hire a few workers? I'm not asking you to haul out a farm 'crew' of fifteen men! I'm just asking for maybe six workers at the most to do the bigger chores that take you all day." Jack looked up at Phage with the look.

Jack was giving him the look, the one that said "If you don't do as I say you won't get any for the next several years!" Phage knew Jack could hold to his word too; if Jack was gonna hold out on him for a year, than he would.

"Fine, I'll go find some guys tomorrow." Phage groaned, he hated doing this, in fact he hated that Jack had won.

Phage would not forget this; he was not going to be pleasant for the next several days.

By next afternoon, Phage had finished chores by himself, and secured six trustworthy, hard working, reliable farm hands. Now he was simply showing them how things were done, and what had to be done. They were listening well, asking questions when they didn't understand something, and even offered suggestions about how they could speed up the process. Maybe Jack was right, getting some help wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Your first job however, before you start on any of the chores is to build a small dormitory over there that will fit you all but will only have the necessities I do not want a mansion. I'm thinking probably one bedroom with three bunk beds, and two bathrooms of good size, and a living room that's comfortable so that you're moral doesn't sink…you with me?" Phage smiled at them, and some of them chuckled but most were thankful.

"I've ordered the necessary supplies, and I have here a layout for you, so you know what goes where and pretty much how that's all going to work. The supplies and tools will be here tomorrow morning around ten in the morning. For now I have tents set up over there for you. We will provide you with meals, breakfast is around 7:34Am, lunch is at noon, and dinner about 6:35Pm. If there's anything you need food wise, I'm sure my husband and I will be out to bring you snacks or drinks of the like. If you see a four year old running around the farm, don't mind him that's my son James. But if he comes too near the power tools I would much appreciate it if you point him in a different direction." Phage looked around, thinking if there was anything else, "Well, I can't think of anything else that I needed to cover. Is there any questions?"

Phage noticed one hand up in the air and called upon its owner, "Yes?"

"I must have heard incorrectly, I thought I heard you say husband, you did say wife right?" He asked.

Phage's smile grew wider at that point when he replied confidently, "No, I said husband. In fact there he is now! Jack, honey come and meet the farm hands will you, they were your idea after all!"

Jack came over; he had been out to town to buy some more food considering they would be having some very hungry guests. He smiled at the six men that would be living on the farm from now on.

"Hello, I'm Jack, Phage's husband. I'm your cook and food provider so if there's anything in that department you need to know about than just ask me. I'll send James out to bring you some water or something every once in a while if you would like it." Jack nodded at them before kissing Phage on the cheek and heading into the house.

The one who had asked the 'husband' question grinned nervously and nodded back to Jack.

"Alright, I'll see you at the kitchen table; dinner will probably be ready in about a half hour." Phage nodded to them before heading into the house.

The next day, Phage wandered out at about 9:30Am to find the workers had already started on his chores. They had probably gotten really bored as they appeared to be almost finished. The six men had shown up for breakfast and had a little bit of dirt on their clothes and arms.

"How's it going guys?" He asked.

Several of them turned, but not all of them.

"It going fine boss, you can go back to bed if you want!" Called one of them, "We've got everything under control." Said another, "The seeds are ready to be taken into town would you like me to handle that?"

Phage nervously scratched the back of his neck before replying to one of them, "No, I'll take the seeds over to Van when he actually shows up, thanks."

"Who's Van?" They asked in unison.

Oh my god they're like the bobsy twins. They paused what they were doing and came to stand in front of him.

"He's the traveling salesman who comes into town on the 3rd and the 8th of the month. He should be here by around noon or one. I don't take the seeds into the city, I take them to Van. We've done business together for a while, and he gives me really good money for the seeds. And no, none of you will be taking the seeds into town, I will. That's the one thing I will not let you do. Mostly because it has to do with farms money, and I need to make sure myself that each seed gets to Van safely and that all the money gets to me safely." Phage told them.

The bobsy twins nodded at him and were about to continue their work when Phage stopped them.

"I need to know your names, because really, I don't want to have to call you the bobsy twins however appropriate that might be." Phage listened to their names, before taking out a permanent marker and wrote it on their t-shirts.

"Okay, there we are, Steven, Joey, Mark, Matt, Jimmy, and Timmy. Got it." Phage dismissed them to go back to their work and then decided he would go back inside until the supplies came.

Phage had gotten to take a bath with his family, and eat a 'wholesome' snack provided by Jack before he had to go back outside to wait for the building supplies. They came promptly at 10:00Am as they said they would. He called the guys over so they could have a look at the massive amount of construction things that had been given to them.

"There you are, you can move them over there, because you will be building this new home of yours right there." Phage pointed to the large empty spot in between the large fertile plot of soil and the edge of the farm facing the trail that leads to the forest spring.

That space had always been there, it was garish and empty, and well annoying Phage dared to notice it. A tree would have to be taken out, but Phage knew before hand that it was not one of Jack's reading trees, or James's for that matter. It was safe to take it out. Phage was sincerely amused at watching the bobsy twins oh so diplomatically trying to figure out how they would move the junk as they had dubbed their building supplies.

About three weeks later, the dormitory had been finished. All the while during the building, Jack had scurried out to the guys and fussed over them, giving them snacks and lemonade and wet wash cloths so they could wash their faces. Very soon after the construction work had been started, Jack had become known to the farm hands as 'mother hen' because of his mothering habit. Phage knew that they were good workers, but they hadn't experienced one of the busiest harvest seasons yet. They had no idea the terror. So, Phage waited, fall was their second busiest season of the year for fruit sales, they had seven fall harvesting trees, and six seed makers. Phage was interested in how the men would tackle the project really. He wandered into the dormitory one afternoon, still amazed at how well Steven, Joey, Mark, Matt, Jimmy, and Timmy had built their home. The lush peach carpet on the living room floor was well taken care of, and the grand fireplace had the signs of well use. In the bunk rooms, the wood floor was kept clean, and so were the bathrooms, while beds were made every morning. Jack currently wasn't aware that the dormitory was decorated in any way shape or form. It was probably a good thing that he didn't know. The feisty home décor obsessed brunette would commandeer the dormitory and take all of the bobsy twins shopping for painting prints, and furniture, TVs, book cases (with books to be put on them of course), knick knacks, and all sorts of things. He would drive the guys insane. However much Phage knew Steve, Joey, Mark, Matt, Jimmy, and Timmy loved their 'mother hen' they couldn't take a day of shopping with him.

Phage observed his new 'family members' as they politely asked someone to pass the salt or the pepper. Jack was positively glowing. Phage had known that his mate had come from a big family, and thus, wanted to have lots of children. Having farm hands that lived on the farm with you quickly solved the issue without resulting in having seven children. Jack now had the guys to mother, and to fuss over and to cook for as well as his children and husband. After all, now they had Steven, Joey, Mark, Matt, Jimmy, and Timmy.

Chapter 3 – Mother Hen

Phage really did feel bad for the guys. As soon as their chores were done, Jack had hauled them off to the city to go furniture/knick knack/potpourri/comforter and bed-sheets/paint shopping. Jack had found out that the dormitory was severely lacking decoration wise and so had decided that his 'kids' needed some help desperately. So at about 1:30Pm, they were off, Jack leading a group of fearful 17-year-olds behind him.

Jack's eyes got wide in happiness and then promptly waved the boys over, "Steven, Joey, Mark, Matt, Jimmy, Timmy get yourselves over here! Look what I found; this is just the perfect shade of eggplant for the living room walls!"

The boys followed their mother over to yet another paint color sample rack. They all sighed, and nodded in agreement with Mother Hen. How they wanted to get back to the farm and kill themselves with the scythes in the tool shed. This was the worst punishment ever. The boss had sworn that he hadn't told the brunette about the dormitory, but the boys had seen a sadistically amused look in the man's eyes. They were about to sneak off to electronics when they heard something quite disturbing from the direction of Mother Hen.

"You disgusting freak, I can't believe they let people like you out in public! Faggot!" A deep voice was making even more of the cruel statements.

The boys hurried to their Mother Hen's side, and looked at the homophobe whom had previously been taunting Jack with even more insults. Jack was huddled against the rack of color swatches with a large red handprint mark on his cheek. Steven, Joey, Mark, Matt, Jimmy, and Timmy's eyes narrowed at the weasel like man. He was going to pay for doing something like that to Mother Hen. The stranger's eyes widened as the bobsy twins promptly beat the man with everything they could. Then, Jack bought the paint that he wanted and they left the store. They never saw that man again.

Later into the evening, Jack and the boys returned to the farm. Jack made sure all the decorating things were left in the dormitory before heading into the house. Phage wasn't in the living room so he must be in the kitchen, Jack concluded. When the brunette entered the kitchen Phage was in his face, asking questions about where the bruise on his face came from, who put it there, if someone had who was it, where did they live, and then he started muttering about needing a big black body bag. Jack grinned sheepishly at the floor before explaining to Phage the ordeal.

"Well, I'm glad that the bobsy twins took care of him, but from now on, you do not go shopping by yourself. What do you think would've happened if the guys weren't there with you?" Phage was in full throttle panic mode now.

"Shut up! You act as though I'm helpless and can't defend myself! I could have handled that guy, and besides that I was in the middle of home depot! Someone would've heard me screaming if something did happen, and there are home deposits running around the damn place all the time!" Jack let out a resigned sigh, "Now, I'm going to be working on the boys' dormitory tomorrow so I expect you to stay at home with the kids."

Phage nervously shuffled his feet on the floor before saying, "But honey, I've never taken care of the kids before…"

"Oh don't be silly, yes you have." Jack playfully smacked Phage on the shoulder.

"Not by myself with you like, gone…" Phage trailed off in a frightened whisper.

"I'm not going to be gone! I'll still be on the farm, if anything goes wrong you can always jog the short distance between the house and the dormitory!"

"But what if they eat me!" Phage ran his fingers through his spiky hair, "I mean, Amelia's the most ferocious little beast I've ever seen! She was pulling the wings off of flies the other day, and then eating them!"

"She was eating the wings of flies and you didn't stop her?" Jack asked, appalled.

"She wasn't eating the wings she was eating the bodies!" Phage shivered at the memory.

"She was eating the bodies of flies and you didn't stop her!" Jack screeched, "What's wrong with you?"

"I was scared; I thought she was going to eat my toes if I interrupted her." Phage groaned before saying in defeat, "I'll take care of the kids tomorrow, and I'll go draw you a bath."

"Thank you." Jack sniffed before tapping his foot on the floor in waiting.

Phage moaned in exasperation. He walked over to the bathroom door and went in to start his husband's bath.

Phage was currently attempting to change Amelia's diaper and hold his nose shut at the same time. This was much more difficult than it sounded, as Jack had bought those extra secure diapers that never come off. Hmm, maybe if I could get the scythe I could use it to cut the diaper open… 'Phage! Don't you even think about it.' Phage groaned and decided if he just breathed out his mouth than maybe he could use both hands to pry the damn diaper off.

Fifteen minutes later, Phage had changed his daughter's diaper. Amelia looked up at him cutely with her thumb in her mouth. The red head picked up his daughter and walked outside, deciding that maybe if he took her for a horse-riding expedition she might become so exhausted that she would just go to sleep for a while. Phage sucked in some air and whistled as loud as he could. Free hopped over the fence and came galloping up to him. The 24-year-old hopped up onto the horse's back. Phage unbuttoned his sweater jacket and put his baby girl inside before snugly buttoning the shirt back up so that Amelia could still breathe but not get out. The baby giggled and snuggled against her father's chest. Phage grinned down at her and steered free off the farm, starting out at a canter before speeding up in small increments. The father and daughter pair had a blast, and after an hour and a half, the daughter as her father had predicted fell asleep to the lulling rhythm of horseback riding…

….meanwhile back at the farm (1), Jack was finishing up the last coat of paint on the bunk room walls. The brunette had woken up around five in the morning and booted his workers out of bed so they could get started on their chores early. Then the 23-year-old set to work on painting the living room the dark eggplant color he had decided on the day before. It had take two hours by his lonesome to get the first coat on, but by then the bobsy twins had finished their chores and had come back in to help him. Then the painting was done in the living room in an hour and a half. While the living room walls were drying they set about putting down the tarps in the bunk rooms so they could paint. The wall which the main door connecting the living room and bunk room was on was going to be painted a light warm crème color as well as the wall opposite it. The other two walls were to be painted a deep rich crimson color. Both bathrooms were going to be painted variations of a light hearted salmon pink. Steven and Joey were putting tarp down in one bathroom, and Timmy and Jimmy were doing the same in the other bathroom. Currently, Mark and Matt were helping take the tarp off the floor in the living room. Then they could decorate the common room with the furniture and knick knacks they had bought, as well as low maintenance plants and painting prints. With the boys' help, the job might be done by next evening.

"Mother Hen! Where do you want us to put the tarp from the living room once we've got it up?" Mark called.

"Um, fold it up and put it out on the front porch!" Jack answered; he had almost finished the painting he had started on the crimson wall opposite of the one nearest the bathrooms.

Jack had taken one of the artists paint brushes and painted with the crème color a picture of six figures standing near an orchard of fruit trees. Two of the figures were picking fruits and putting them in baskets, one was sitting on the ground with a dog on his lap licking him on the cheek, another was standing holding a toddler with cavity cute pigtails, one was standing with a four year old on his shoulders, and the last was sitting in the branches of one of the trees eating what could be either a peach or an orange. Just one last coat there…and, done. Jack stood back to admire his work. It was perfect. He had added a curved out line to it to separate it from the rest of the wall.

"Mother Hen, we've finished folding the tarp! Do you want us to bring in the book cases now?" Timmy asked.

"Um, yeah hold on just a second." Jack paused, "Everybody, make sure not to touch this painting in here, don't touch it at all for the next several hours even if it looks dry, alright!"

"Got it!" Replied the bobsy twins, all of whom had entered the bunk room to see what painting the mother hen was talking about.

Jack walked through the living room and out to the front porch where the book cases had already been constructed but not yet moved in. The brunette commanded the younger males to come out here and move one book case at a time into the living room. In one corner he had them make it so that the book case's corners were touching but in between them was just enough room to be a cozy lamp. It was a bendy posy lamp that had long metal stem and rainbow colored glass lamp shades covering the bulbs. They immediately plugged the lamp into the socket connected to the light switch. Next the books were organized on the shelves with small little cow or cat statues put in between them at times. Them they put in one large leather arm chair and on one side of the common room they put a good sized wooden table that had six chairs put round it and a little green table cloth in the center. A deck of cards was placed on a bowl in the middle of fruit that Jack brought in from the fridge in the main house. The mother hen smiled proudly, the living room was done.

It was dinner time when they finally stopped, and Jack led the tired hungry crew of tweens in to the house where Phage awaited them with a feast. Phage could cook actually, quite well in fact but he never got the chance mostly because Jack beat him to it. On the table was a large platter filled with scalloped red potatoes slathered with cheese, a large bowl of green house salad with mozzarella cheese sprinkled on top, and a plate piled high with roast beef fresh from the market in town. There were two pitchers, one filled with fruit juice, and another with the best milk on the farm. Six garbage disposals disguised as teenage boys sat down and immediately filled their plates, all other members of the family following suit. The room was filled with the sound of clinking cutlery, and hungry mouths chomping down on salad, potatoes, and roast beef. Jack carefully cut up Amelia's potatoes and fed them to her, all the while making her giggle. Phage joked with James by showing him how to eat his roast beef by using his hands and biting down real hard on the edge. Jack and the bobsy twins had made good progress on decorating the dormitory, and Phage had discovered that staying at home with the kids wasn't all that terrifying.

…When the boys slumped into the dormitory that evening, they barely made it into the living room before they collapsed onto the floor. Their stomachs were full and they had worked extremely hard that day.

"Wow, I never knew the boss could cook that well…" Mark said in awe, soon to be followed by a loud belch.

"Yeah, that was some good beef. I'm stuffed. The boss cooks almost as well as Mother Hen." Said Jimmy and Timmy in unison, they were twins after all.

"I never would have thought I'd say this you guys but, I wouldn't dream of leaving this place." Steven sighed and Joey grunted in agreement.

"You're right this is the best job ever. Free food, free place to stay and the work ain't that bad." Matt commented.

Jack and Phage described them as the bobsy twins. That description fits them more behavior wise than anything else. The only ones out of the six that really looked alike were Jimmy and Timmy and that was because they were identical twins. But even then you could tell one from the other if you noted the scraggly stubble on Jimmy's chin, and the mole under Timmy's left eye.

Mark was broad and muscular, he had dark red hair like a cherry that fell in uneven locks around his ears and eyes (which were a wild green), and two deep scars beneath his left eye, and his right ear had one silver hoop through it. His work outfit of choice was dark black cargo jeans big red hiking boots, and a white tank thermal undershirt (which he often shed during the work hours). He was a good natured boy with a rumbling laugh and a mischievous mindset. Mark often was found setting up harmless pranks on the other boys during the work day.

Steven was lighter and his body shape was sleeker, he had deep golden eyes and long black hair which he often held in a ponytail though there always one strand of onyx that fell in front of his eyes no matter how hard he tried. His jaw was firm and most commonly in a neutral line but would crack into a smile when his fellow workers would play a joke on him. Steven's muscles weren't had visible or large as Mark's but were evident when he went to work in the fields. He often worked in a loose white Tee and form fitting jeans. The raven haired teen was quiet and brilliant if one really sat down and took the time to talk to him, you would discover that he was a genius with words and the pen.

Jimmy and Timmy were both golden blonde with bright aqua blue eyes; both had quick reflexes and cunning wit. They both were tall and scrawny, wearing identical army cargos and navy blue tank tops to do chores. When looking at them you wouldn't be able to tell them apart, but if you talked with them a while you would be able to see that they were as different from each other as night and day. Timmy was quiet and shy, he didn't well like to be around large crowds of people for long amounts of time and was very drawn to photography. Jimmy was light hearted and never afraid to speak his mind, sometimes though his never ending ability to point out details that the people around him might not always see or want to see can get him into trouble.

Joey had vivid green curls and grey eyes, a narrow jaw, and lips that were always curled up into a smile. He was not destined to be a model that was clear by taking a look at his non existent figure. If anyone dared call him out of shape he would exclaim 'I am so in shape! Round is a shape!' and run off to the dormitory and hide for a half hour or so. On a better day, he would tell everyone more than once that he wasn't fat, he was pleasantly plump. Or if he was in a really good mood he would explain to anyone who would listen that he was currently 'growing' love handles which he planned to chop off of his body and donate to skeletal anorexic children in Africa. That way, the children could attach the fat from the love handles to their own bodies and keep living for another few weeks.

Matt was Mark's blue haired, brown eyed partner in crime. They both had a love of playing practical jokes, purple sparkles appeared around their faces when they showed off their bulging muscles (2) (which was quite often), and they both would rant to each other about foot bal whenever they got a break from working.

Within twenty minutes of the boys' getting to the living room of the dormitory they were sound asleep.

Chapter 4 – The Hangover Gang

Phage watched the boys tackle the challenge of the fall harvest in amusement. When the threat of working from five in the morning to seven at night roared at them, the Bobsy twins roared right back and dived into the work. Timmy and Jimmy were currently working as the ultimate fruit picking duo. Timmy would sit up in the tree's branches; picking all the fruit that was ripe while Jimmy held up a basket for him to put his crops in. Matt and Mark were turning the harvest into an opportunity to work out. Mark would shake the tree as hard as he could until it was raining apples. Then Matt would run in circles and catch every single one in his basket. Steven and Joey were working silently with each other and seemed to be the most efficient. Steven would fill one basket by himself and then take it immediately into the tool shed. While Steven was in the tool shed, Joey would come back from the tool shed and continue where the raven haired teen had left off.

Amelia's second birthday wasn't that far off now. The connection between Amelia and Phage was extremely strong; they were both born during the same hour of the same day. They were born in different years of course, but the fact that they both had the same birthday made them very similar in their interests and personalities.

Amelia decided at that point in time to crawl over to the plot where the boys were busy with the harvest. She crawled through the dirt over to where Steven was standing and tugged on the hem of his jeans. Steven looked down at her and smiled for the first time that day. He paused in his work and lifted the small girl into his arms. She giggled at the touch of his fingers on her belly.

"Stevie! Stop tickling!" She squealed.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked over at the raven haired teen, and at the cute little girl. That was the first non-swear word thing she had ever said.

"Stevie, you have pwetty hair!" Amelia gushed, pushing her fingers through the rough locks.

Again, amazement spread through everyone within ear shot of the toddler's speech. Steven replied with a thank you, and continued to gaze at her silently as if to encourage her to speak more.

"You knowses, I don't very much like pears. Pears are icky! You knowses what else, Stevie? My birthday is coming soon!" Amelia clapped her hands as if to emphasize her happiness.

"Really?" Stevie asked, "When is it?"

"It's the 31th of October!" Amelia exclaimed.

"That's Halloween isn't it?" Steve continued the conversation eagerly, he was just as amazed as everyone else that the girl was talking, but he wasn't so amazed that he was speechless.

"Yeah, and mommy always makes a big chocolate cake! It's really good, and there's lots of pudding and ice cream, and presents. Its lots of fun. Are you going to come to my birthday party Stevie?" Amelia looked up at the farm hand with hopeful eyes.

"If you want me to, I would love to come to your birthday part Amelia." Steven responded, "But right now I have to work. If you want you can help me."

The toddler nodded excitedly as 'Stevie' put her on the ground.

"Okay, be careful, I'm going to shake this tree, fruit is going to come down and your job is to put them in that basket." Steven pointed to the light whicker basket near his feet.

Again, she nodded. Then, when the Appages fell to the ground, she would do her best to pick them up and put them in the basket as she had been instructed. The other boys went back to work, and Phage was no where to be seen. The boss had run inside to tell his husband the news. Jack nodded casually.

"Yes I know, she and I had a fabulous discussion the other day aboutwhether zebras are black with white stripes or white with black stripes. It was very deep." Jack winked at his husband before continuing work on the buttermilk weave crust on the apple pie he was preparing.

In the fall, Jack seized the opportunity to go on a baking spree. He would make pumpkin, apple/appage pies, grape cobblers, and phurum jam as well as various other fall deserts. But that also meant that he was cooking constantly. Phage hated that. It meant he could never sneak off with Jack and have his way with him. Jack was not easily taken away from his cooking.

Later that day Joey was sitting exhaustedly leaning up against the wall of the chicken coop. So much for 'not that much work', he thought. They had said it so long ago, they had no idea what was in store for them. The boss had promptly told them that they weren't nearly done yet, thatthree more trees started producing fruit in mid October. Joey ran his hands through his forest green curls. He patted his belly thinking, well at least with all this work maybe my gut will go away. It had slightly, come to think of it. Joey realized he could fit into his jeans much better. He was starting to look a lot less like a tube sock full of rocks (his abdomen being the part full of rocks). Jimmy had once told him that if he were to cut off his legs andturn sideways he would look exactly like a healthy pear. Joey had promptly punched him in the face and stormed off. Jimmy and Timmy were propped up against each other asleep in the pasture, while Mark and Matt were working out with Hughe. Steven had disappeared to god only knows where like he usually did. The work for the day had been finished and now the boys all had an hour or so of free time before dinner. After dinner, Mother Hen always sent them straight to bed, saying they needed their sleep. Most commonly, Joey was quite obliged to go to sleep; he was madly in love with sleep.

After dinner, it was the same routine. Mother Hen sent them back to the dormitory to go to sleep. But when Joey finally trudged into the living room, the other boys were talking excitedly about something or other.

"What's more exciting then me sleeping?" Joey grunted before making his way towards the bunk room.

His efforts to gain sleep failed miserably as Mark hauled him into the huddle.

"We're thinking about sneaking out to go to the blue bar. We've got the money to order anything we want there! I mean, when was the last time you spent any of your pay?" Matt asked his friends.

"Uhh, you guys? If Mother Hen catches wind of this he'll freak!" Joey panicked instantly at the thought of an angry Mother Hen.

"He won't find out because we'll be really sneaky!" Jimmy tapped the side of his nose, winking atJoey mischievously.

"I don't know you guys, Mother Hen finds out about everything! He has magical eyes that float all around the valley! He sees everything, knows everybody. Someone in the valley will be sure to rat us out if Mother Hen comes calling."

"Fine then Joey, you stay home and enjoy sleep, after all Steven and Timmy are staying home too." Matt said.

"You'll be safe and sound with the other chicken shits Joey!" Mark clapped his beefy hand on Joey's shoulder.

"I'm not a chicken shit! I just want to keep all of my limbs, and personally I don't want to be castrated!" Joey exclaimed smartly.

Jimmy automatically winced at the reference. Mother Hen had once caught them sneaking cookies from the cookie jar in the kitchen, and then threatened to castrate all of them with a rusty razor.

Joey had inevitably been convinced to follow through with the dangerous escapade out to the blue bar. They had waited until it was good and dark out to leave the farm. That way it would be easier to get out without being seen. When they arrived at the Blue Bar, they thankfully didn't see that many people. It was just Galen and Murray. Griffin was behind the counter washing glasses.

"What'll it be boys?" He asked.

"The strongest thing you can make!" Said Mark.

Joey was now thoroughly worried. But he went along without question. When Griffin passed him a dark looking drink in a large mug, Joey downed the whole thing at once. His vision went slightly down hill, and he felt dizzy. He looked around and saw a rainbow of spots. The other guys seemed to be having the same reaction. Soon, all care about getting caught left him as they all ordered a second round. By the fifth round of drinks, they were all piss drunk and really loopy. Everything was funny.

"Why did sha chicken crossh sha roadssh?" Mark slurred.

When no one guessed Mark answered the question for them, "To git to sha utha side!"

All four of them roared with laughter. The hilarity didn't end even when a kind of familiar brunette blob entered the room. The blob appeared to be angry; the alcohol had taken over their minds so the blob looked kinda like a sprinkler spouting streams of water from two spots near the top of itself.

Twenty minutes later they were all still very drunk, but were now standing in a different place, or were they still at the bar? None of them could really tell the difference anymore, or at least Joey certainly couldn't. Suddenly, he felt a hand collide with his face that sent him stumbling backwards. He blinked his eyes and saw the same blob as before, but now he could see the blob much clearer now. It was Mother Hen, and he was very angry.

Joey didn't even try to defend himself, he knew he deserved it. He didn't cry even though the blows that Mother Hen was delivering to his head were making him feel like his skull was imploding. The other three were showing the same reaction; every time they collapsed they would stand right back up again and take more punches without complaint. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of having the shit kicked out of him, he felt himself being pulled into a warm sobbing embrace. Mother Hen had his arms wrapped around them as he sobbed in between Joey and Jimmy's shoulders. None of them moved they all stood there letting Mother Hen hold them.

The next day all four of them were experiencing hangovers like they had never been experienced before. Mother Hen had taken a break from cooking to make sure they were doing their chores, and any time they took a break he would come up behind them and scream at them to keep on working. There were no snacks, no rest breaks, and the guilty boysworked continuously from sun up till sun down. Even at dinner they were given the prisoner treatment. Steven and Timmy however were sitting at the table eating feasts of fall desserts. The hangover gang was sitting on the floor eating plain bread and drinking small glasses of water. Joey, Jimmy, Mark, and Matt all looked like purple and blue aliens from mars. They were bruised all over from the beating they had received from Mother Hen the previous night. The four of them would never sneak out at night ever again…

Epilogue

It had been almost seven months now since Steven, Joey, Mark, Matt, Jimmy, and Timmy had shown up to live and work on the farm. Everything was going well. The farm was still in business, and Phage had finally planted Smithie some 'lady friends' to pollinate with. The boys were fully enjoying a decorated dormitory, while James and Amelia were definitely happy about their new room. Bessie had taught the rest of the heard of cows how to hop over the fence, and now seeing a herd of cows wandering around the valley was not an unusual occurrence. Though Phage had to get collars for all of the cows now, he didn't really mind.

James had become known to wander off during the day and only come back for dinner at night. Where he wandered off to, no one really knew. Amelia was slowly but surely learning how to walk, and learning a whole slew of new swear words. When she would fall down during her attempts to walk a rainbow of colorful curses would gush out of her mouth.

Jack was doing fine, though every now and then he would groan about how he didn't get to go shopping enough, or that the boys were rough housing too much…Phage knew however that Jack was only mumbling, he wasn't really worried about either of those things.

It would seem that everything was going well. Phage and Amelia blew out the candles on their cake and smiled as James took a picture of his thumb on accident, instead of taking a picture of the birthday kids. Everyone was served a piece of the chocolate cake, as well as a scoop of pudding and ice cream. Phage gazed around the room, looking at his family. Jimmy and Timmy were violently arguing about whether vanilla or rocky road ice cream was better. Mark and Matt were competing to see who could finish a whole carton of ice cream, this of course resulted in them both crying out in pain from the sudden brain freeze they both received. Steven was engaging in a wonderful conversation with Amelia about the differentiating in taste depending on the kind of fly, and Joey was showing James how to use his spoon like a shovel. Happy birthday to me…

TBC…