Chapter 9
"And do you, Roy Mustang, take Riza Hawkeye to be your wedded wife and protect her in good health and misfortune?"
"I do."
"Then I pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride."
Everyone at the wedding cheered, and the kitty chorus meowed ecstatically. Black and White Hayate, in their respective tuxedo and gown, yipped and barked happily, quieted down, then proceeded to lick each other. Who would believe that dogs could get married right next door as well? And with a kitty preacher? Or at least, a kitty who meowed the lines properly.
Al was wiping his eyes and Winry had buried her face in a handkerchief, being the much more emotional two. Ed and Terra were laughing and cheering, as was Jean Havoc, Kain Fuery, Vato Falman, Haymans Breda, andAlex Louis Armstrong. Roy had thought that it couldn't possibly hurt to have his most trusted subordinates - as they were known at work- and friends - as they were known outside of work- to his wedding.
Leroy Mustang was desperately, and perhaps futilely trying to stem his wife's happy tears as they cascaded down her face, but found himself crying as well. He finally stopped his attempts and put his arms around her, crying into each others shoulders.
"You think we'll have grandchildren this time, Ilia?" Leroy hiccupped. She nodded and he picked her up and swung her around. "Finally! We've waited years for today, and it's finally here, it's finally here!"
"What about Fraternization, Leroy?" Ilia finally asked between hiccups.
"To hell with Fraternizing! We were Fraternizing, and we're fine, aren't we?"
"I can't argue with that."
Roy cleared his throat loudly and the din quieted, albeit slowly, but it quieted.
"I have an announcement to make."
The guests looked at one another, then shrugged their collective shoulders, having no idea what on earth he could possibly be talking about.
"Riza, our beautiful First Lieutenant, is going to have a baby," he announced proudly.
"Geez, Colonel, couldn't wait, eh?" Jean Havoc cried from the middle of the audience good naturedly. Roy grinned at his old friend and shook his head. "Nope, I sure couldn't. Are we quits Jean? No hard feelings?"
"Yeah, we're quits, Roy. No hard feelings here."
Leroy and Ilia were holding onto each other tightly. "Anything else we should know about, Son?" Leroy asked. Roy grinned even more broadly than before. "Well, we just got some papers back and the verdict is..."
The audience was on its toes; would the first born of the next generation of Mustang be boy or girl? Riza looked just as expectant, and the audience concluded that the reports had gotten to Roy before Riza, oddly enough.
"She is expecting twins, one boy, and one girl." The audience erupted again and Leroy and Ilia once again exploded into joyful and grateful tears. "Did you hear that Ilia, one boy and one girl! Twins! Ha!" Riza felt faint and groped around for a chair, sinking into it. "Twins?" she asked. He handed over the papers and she scanned them quickly, finding the news to be true. She hugged herself happily. "Twins!"
Ed couldn't help but think that the look on Roy's face hinted that he was very pleased with himself, and who wouldn't be? He was the father of not one, but two children. He didn't think Roy could look any more smug and pleased.
"So what are you guys waiting for, eh? Have a good time while you're here! The parties not ending till seven, and it's still three!" The crowd cheered again and Roy pulled Riza up gently. "Can I have this dance, oh beautiful one?"
She laughed and held onto him. "I'm still a little dizzy... you'll have to hold me up." He smirked. "Nothing I can't handle."
Leroy patted his son's shoulder andRoy looked over his shoulder, grinning. "Happy Birthday present, Dad?" Leroy nodded. "Not bad for my 45th birthday," he said with a wink. "Now hurry up with that baby." To Riza he said, "If my son doesn't treat you right, you come to us, we'll set him straight. Especially his mom." Roy groaned. "What makes you think I won't treat her right?"
"Well I don't know, Roy, you have had a notorious eleven years as a bachelor. Being a bachelor for that long changes a man."
"Do does being married," Roy retorted. "Where's Terra?"
Leroy grimaced slightly. "With her 'Eddie'. If they get married, we're going to have some short genes in the family..."
"DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL RIP OFF YOUR FEET AND STICKEM'ONYOURHEAD!"
"Midget! Terra will probably be taller than you in a couple of years!" Leroy called out.
"AAAAGH! SHUT UP! I'LL GROW TOO!" Roy snickered.
"I don't know about that... your brother is younger than you, and he's already taller..."
"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! DAMMIT!"
"How come all the short guys have the explosive tempers?"
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Roy shrugged. "Short boy, short temper. It fits."
Ed, by this time, had given up to sulk in a corner. "I don't deserve any of this, I don't."
"I don't know, you give a lot of people a lot of grief, shorty!"
"GRRRRRRRR..."
"But Riza, it's just so much fun..." said Roy in response to her reproachful look. "Stop that, he's done nothing to you. And we've got more important business to discuss, for instance: What will we name the babies?"
Roy rubbed her stomach and an oddly protective looked crossed his face. "It's mine... they're mine!" he laughed suddenly and hugged her tighter. "What's wrong with you?"
"Me? Nothing's wrong with me! This is great! I'm going to have kids! Not one, but two! This is great!" Roy grinned, lifting her up and swinging her around in circles. "Roy-put-me-down!"
"Mine,mine, mine,mine!" he cried like a child with a brand new toy. Leroy sighed and held his hand out to Ilia, who put a gun in his hand.
"Oh Roy..." he called sweetly. Roy put down Riza, who was now seeing spots, and turned. "Yeah?"
BANG
Roy looked down and saw a needle protruding from his chest, and his head swam. Riza screamed and gripped the needle, pulling it out.
Everyone stared at Leroy and Ilia as Roy collapsed on the floor.
He looked around. "What?" Riza was shaking Roy, tears in her eyes. "Roy, wake up! Wake up!"
Leroy bent down to help Roy but Riza snarled at him viciously and he backed up. "He didn't tell you that either, did he?"
Ilia opened her jacket to reveal a bountiful supply of syringes with purple liquid in them, along with three other guns.
"This is Roy's medicine; he has to take it once every year, but he refuses to take it in pills," she explained.
"Since he won't take it in pills, we have to shoot him with it. They were tranquilizer syringes, but we empty them out and put his medicine in it."
Roy groaned and opened his eyes slowly. "You could give me more warning when you shoot that thing... ohhhh..."
"You're the one who won't take the pill, God. Do you have any idea how much it hurts me to shoot you?"
"No."
"None at all, Roy. I actually enjoy it; it's payback for all your years of torture."
"I love you too, Dad."
"You're the one who goes crazy without it, he gets a little too hyper you see. This calms him down for the whole year."
"That's why Mustang is always so calm and collected at the office! You take medicine for it!" Ed shrieked. There was his answer for the cool manner of the Colonel; medicine. Roy glared at him, his composure restored. "I didn't ask to be this way, you know. Maybe you should get a shot Fullmetal, itmight calm your little temper down too."
Ed's face purpled but decided once again slump in a corner and sulk.
Riza hugged Roy and he grinned again. "Worried?" he asked. She nodded. "Let's go home, let the others have fun."
For the confused reader who is upset over Maes Hughes's murder, if you watch the anime, Maes Hughes is murdered in a phone booth in episode 25... T.T I like Maes too, but Maes... you have to die! - T A
9/16/05- A minor change in the phrasing of 'I'll rip off your feet and stick em' on your head!' the wonderful catchphrase of Ed's invention that appeared in the episode 'Fullmetal vs.Flame'. Instead of a five syllable phrase, as it used to be, I thought it would be much more entertaining to change it into a one syllable word, hence, 'stickem'onyourhead!' You gotta love Ed. To get full satisfaction, you have to read the word really fast. - T A