View From The Moon 6 - Out Of Our Hands
Pacey walked out of work and headed towards his car, he had been trying to get through to Joey at the apartment all day with no luck. He didn't know whether he wanted to talk to her or whether he just wanted to run away from reality. The conversation this morning had left a lot unfinished, he didn't know what was going to happen with their friendship but he know that he couldn't lose her. He sat inside his car and took a deep breath, exhaling the tense breath he had been holding before taking his cell phone out of his pocket and dialing the number. He waited a while as the phone rang out, he knew if she wasn't there she would be at the dorm, he actually hoped she had gone back to the dorm to work things out with Audrey. Jack answered. "Hey Jackers is Joey still there?" Pacey asked him.
"Err no Pace, she went home at about four, she's been gone ages. Have you two worked things out yet?" Jack asked her, he would love to see them together again, or at least on speaking terms.
"Actually no, but I'm on my way to her dorm right now, but I'll see you later," Pacey told him hanging up and thinking. She must have gone back to the dorm; he started up his car and made his way to the Worthington campus. On the way he stopped at the florists and collected a bouquet of white roses, his sister had once told him that white roses stood for friendship so they seemed perfect. He had ordered them earlier in the day; he figured that after this morning she deserved a peace offering, or at least a token of his friendship. He drove to the campus thinking about what he would say, he knew he could plan it out but it would all go out the window when he saw her. There was no point planning anything. He parked the car and made his way through the halls to the dorm, knocking on the door. Nobody answered. He waited a second before calling through the wood. "Joey?" Pacey shouted through the door, pushing it to see if it was unlocked. He turned the doorknob and entered, walking around, and putting the flowers on the bed, he walked into the bathroom and looked around, closing the door when he saw no one there. It wasn't normal for Joey or Audrey to keep the door open when they weren't home; he turned around and looked around the apartment. Pacey sat down on Joey's bed and looked over the other side of the room to an area he hadn't been able to see before, his mouth dropped when he saw Audrey lying on the floor. He got up and ran over to her, kneeling down beside her and shaking her by the shoulders. "Audrey!" he shouted, grabbing her with his hands and shaking her by the shoulders again. Her eyes opened slightly, to a small slit, she was barely conscious. "Audrey!" Pacey shouted again, louder. "Come on Audrey if this is meant to be a joke it's not bloody funny!" he shouted as he shook her constantly, it seemed as though the movement was the only thing keeping her even slightly awake. He looked behind her head at the smashed vodka bottle, but this was more than just alcohol, if this was alcohol she would be either drunk or unconscious, this was something more. "Audrey did you take anything!" Pacey questioned her but she said nothing, she just let her head turn to the side. "Audrey! Audrey! What did you take!" Pacey said as he shook her, letting her go when he saw a pill bottle lying half underneath the bed, it was empty. He heard a key in the lock as he turned Audrey's face to look at him again; he placed his hand on her cheek and turned it to him, slapping it lightly, to keep her eyes awake. He kneeled up and took his jacket off, propping it underneath her head to act as a pillow.
"Audrey listen, I really don't want to pressure you but you have to..." Joey said starting her sentence as she walked in. She had called her a few times but she hadn't answered, she was ignoring her, she knew it. She had to talk to her and help her, it didn't matter about Eddie anymore, all that mattered was her. She cut her own words off when she turned and saw Pacey as he shook Audrey. "Oh my god!" Joey said putting her hands over her mouth in shock as he turned around with a worried expression on his face. "What happened?" Joey asked him, she didn't move, she couldn't move, her feet seemed to be nailed to the floor.
"I just came in and found her," Pacey said leaving Audrey and grabbing the phone quickly, she wasn't coming round. He looked at Joey; she wasn't doing anything she was just standing in shock with her hands over her mouth.
"I... I... She," Joey said trying to say something, anything, but nothing came out as the tears tumbled down her cheek at the sight of her.
"I know, I know, but don't worry she is going to be okay," he told her calmly, walking over to her and putting his arm around her. She turned herself to his chest and hugged his back. "It's going to be alright," Pacey told her, holding her closely to his chest as he dialed 911, calling for help.
Pacey drove his car in the darkness back to the Worthington campus, it was late, he had been at the hospital for six hours with Joey. He glanced over to her as she slept in the passenger seat; somehow, she had managed to fall asleep in the fifteen-minute drive from the hospital to the campus. He did not have the heart to wake her, he just hoped that she would wake by herself before he got there. She slept with his jacket over her shoulders and her hair fell over her face. He yawned widely, he was tired, he had been awake a long time and so much had happened, it was a wonder he managed to drive at all. He pulled the car to a stop in a parking place outside the halls of residence and turned the engine off, taking the key from the ignition. Un-strapping himself he looked back over at her, she hadn't woken, she was deeply asleep, he could probably move her without waking her. He got out the car and shut the door carefully but firmly, walking around to the passenger side, he crouched down and looked at her, wiping her hair out of her face, staring at her sleeping face. He shook her gently a few times, she stirred but did not wake so he leant over her and un-strapped her carefully. Picking up her purse he took the keys out and put them in his pocket, putting the purse back onto her lap. Pacey put his hand under her knees and lifted her legs out gently, supporting her back with his other hand he lifted her out of the car. He cradled her sleeping form in his arms and she curled herself up in his them comfortably. He shut the car door carefully and locked it before walking to the door walked through it as someone help it for him. He carried her up the stairs; three flights until he got to her floor, walking up to her door. She was getting heavy now, but he could still keep her in his arms comfortably. She stopped and carefully reached in his pocket for the keys he had taken from her, crouching slightly to open the door. It was hard to open the door with her in his arms but after a few moments he managed and pushed the door open, closing the door with his foot when he got her inside. He lay her down on the bed and started to take of her shoes, pulling them of her feet and placing them beside the bed. He walked over to the curtains and closed them carefully before walking back to her and covering her with a blanket, kissing her forehead gently. He took the bouquet of flowers, which were now wilting, and took them through to the bathroom with a vase that had stood on Joey's desk. He ran the water into the vase and placed them in, they were wilting but hopefully with a little bit of care then they would live for Joey to see them. He looked at himself in the mirror as he yawned, he looked tired, but of course he would be tired after the events of the last twenty-four hours. He arranged the flowers a little before he walked into the room again and placed them on the table beside Joey's bed. He didn't want to leave her, she had been through allot and he didn't want to make her disorientated when she woke so he walked over to her desk chair and took a seat. He loosened his tie completely and took it off, placing it on the desk then unfastened his shoes, if he was going to stay he may as well stay comfortable. Leaning his head back on the chair, he yawned, intending to stay awake but failed miserably as he drifted off into a soft sleep.
Joey awoke a few hours later, rubbing her eyes and looking at the clock, it read 03:02, she was confused, she couldn't remember going to sleep, in fact, come to think of it, she couldn't remember getting home at all. She gazed around the room in the half-light and noticed the flowers that sat on the table in a vase; there was a lot she couldn't remember. She couldn't even remember getting flowers let alone putting them in a vase and arranging them. She put the bedside lamp on and rubbed her eyes, sitting up in bed, she took the jacket off and laid it on the bed. She looked at the flowers, taking one head between two fingers and sniffing the sweet scent, she never got flowers, she always considered them wasteful as they always died but she did like them anyway. She reached into the flowers and pulled out a card, rubbing the sleep from her eyes to get a vision not so blurry, she opened it and read it.
Dear Joey, So sorry I was an ass, please accept my flowers as a token of my friendship and apology for being a complete and utter pain in the ass. Love, Pacey
She laughed at his words and placed the card on the table, she had been trying to speak to him but he was too busy all day yesterday. She looked around the room and saw him sleeping in a very bad position on her chair. She got out of bed and stood up, picking one rose from the vase and walking over to him with it, twirling it between her hands. She chuckled as she saw him sleeping soundly, his head hung over the back of the chair uncomfortably and his hands stayed crossed over his chest. She took the rose and lightly traced his face with it, laughing silently as he tried to hit it away with his hand in his sleep. She hit his nose with the head of the flower and laughed when he squirmed in his sleep, not waking. She ran the rose from his forehead, down his nose and over his throat, moaning in his sleep and letting a smile creep to his lips. He opened his eyes slowly and looked up at her. His eyes were a bright blue, they always more in the morning, she watched them as they slowly emerged from underneath his eyelids. "Hey," Pacey said as he yawned, stretching his arms behind his head.
"Hi. You looked uncomfortable, if you were going to sleep here why didn't you just sleep in Audrey's bed?" she questioned him, standing above him holding the rose in her hand. He sat up and moaned as the pain shot through his neck. "And by the looks of it, it wasn't the best choice of sleeping position for you," she told him softly.
"Nope, bad mistake but I wasn't planning on sleeping, if I were I would have taken her bed. I just wanted to wait until you woke up to make sure you were okay," Pacey said. He put his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it, trying to rid it of the stiffness. He looked up at her, she had obviously found her roses, she obviously wasn't mad that he had bought her them, she obviously took them the right way.
"I can't even remember getting home, did you drive me? I remember being in the car," Joey asked walking over to her bed and sitting on the edge of it.
"Well no you wouldn't remember because I couldn't bare to wake you," Pacey told her getting up and perching himself on her desk, talking to her and resting himself on his hands. "I carried you all the way up here and it was no easy feat I tell ya, three flights of stairs to this place, they should modernize it, get elevators or something," Pacey said. He placed one hand on the back of his neck and stretched it backwards, stretching it.
"All the way up here?" Joey asked in disbelief, shaking her head. She looked over to him and watched as he nodded, she smiled back at him unable to believe that she had slept so heavily. "Thanks for the flowers, I forgive you for being an ass," She told him. He smiled at her and walked over to sit beside her.
"Well my sister told me that white roses symbolize friendship so I thought that they were best," Pacey said, looking down at his feet before he finally met her eyes.
"Well they're beautiful. Thanks Pacey, thank you so much," she said pulling him towards her in a tight hug. She closed her eyes and leant her head against his chest as he held her tightly, returning the bear hug.
"They're only flowers Joey, you don't need to thank me. I just thought that maybe I should apologize for this morning... well yesterday morning," Pacey told her, still holding her. He wrapped his fingers around the silky strands of her hair and entwined them in his fingers, taking the scent of her into his senses as he lay his head on her shoulder.
"Not for the flowers Pacey, I mean... yes thank you for the flowers but... that's not what I'm thanking you for," Joey told him pulling slowly away from the embrace. "Y'know through all this you forgot about what I said, or it certainly seemed that way. You were so supportive y'know, you called her mother, you spoke to the doctors and took care of everything, even got her a private room. I don't know if it was for her or for me but I appreciated you being there anyway. You didn't need to be there, you didn't need to hold my hand whilst the doctors talked to us, you could have left me with her but you didn't," Joey said. She took his hand in hers and ran her thumb over his large knuckles, feeling the soft skin underneath her digit. Luckily Audrey had been alright, the overdose had been taken only a little while before Pacey found her, if it hadn't been for him she may have died.
"I couldn't have left you, I didn't want to leave you, you were so distraught. I couldn't bear to leave you; I can never bear to leave you but especially tonight. Even if you don't want to be my friend, I can't just stop being one, not when you mean so much to me. I'm not just talking about what I said, I'm talking about all the years we've been friends, we've been friends almost all of our lives and that means something, its not something I could stop in an instant. It's never something I could just stop Joey," Pacey told her, looking into her face. She nodded in agreement.
"Pacey... I said some things yesterday that I should have never said. I was thinking about it and..." Joey took a deep breath, stopping here sentence she looked at him softly. " Pacey I can't lose you, I can't imagine my life without your friendship. Y'know I don't want to go through what I went through that summer after graduation when you weren't there. I mean just to think that there wasn't the option to go and see you just to banter with you and insult your dress sense," She told him, watching as he smiled, a laugh played on his throat. "I mean, believe it or not I missed those awful, orange, red, green, blue Hawaiian shirts and that terrible hat. God that hat, I missed that hat, I really missed you that summer, I hated it," Joey told him sadly. "I couldn't go through that again, knowing that you weren't there, even when we were meant to hate each other I still knew you were there for me. And to think that there would be a single minute that you weren't is heartbreaking," Joey told her with a tear in her eyes. That summer had been awful, she would never admit it but it was true.
"I missed you too, I hate being away from you, I just can't bare to think of not having you. I just want you to be in my life in whatever way is possible and if friendship is the only way that we can be in each others lives then that's fine by me," Pacey told her.
"Well, we can do friends right?" She asked him and he nodded, pulling her back into a hug, yawning against his chest and closing her eyes.
"You want to sleep?" He asked her, stroking his hand over her silky locks.
"Yeah, just like this, just hold me," She asked him. He nodded to her and scooted back on the bed with her, lying down with her. They stayed in the silence of the night for a moment when Joey took her head from the safety of his chest and looked at him. "Are you alright Pacey? I didn't ask and I should have, I mean Audrey is your ex-girlfriend and you did find her, I just wondered if you are alright," Joey asked him, raising her face to look at him
"I'm okay, are you? I mean, you don't usually ask for me to hold you unless you're worried or hurt," he asked her. He traced her face with his thumb, causing her eyes to close when she felt the warmth of his skin on her own. There was something about his touch, however small, that caused warmth to shoot through her.
"Pacey I ask you to hold me because I feel safe, because no matter what happens it's always a place that I know that nothing bad will happen. I know nothing bad would ever happen because you would never let it," Joey told him, reeling in his soft touch. He let his hand over from her hair to cup her cheek, stroking her cheekbone with him thumb again, watching her as she spoke with her eyes closed lightly.
"I would never let anything hurt you, I mean you can't always stop bad things from happening but you can try to comfort the people you love," he said. He swallowed the lump in his throat as she reached her hand to rest on top of his and laced her fingers with his.
"Sometimes I just feel that it's like you stop the world from turning for me, that you would stop everything just to save me. Pacey you save me," she told him, gently kissing his hand that rested, cupping her cheek.
"I... I..." Pacey stuttered, he didn't know what to say. All thoughts disappeared from his head as her eyes opened, looking straight into his. She moved her lips down to his and captured them in a kiss; softly gliding her tongue over is teeth. He felt her as she kissed him, putting her hands on his face and pulling him closer to her. This wasn't the same as the night before, this was real, this wasn't a need to be touched by someone it was the need to be touched by him and only him. He let himself be kissed, let her deepen the kiss, but it was confusing to tell what she really wanted. The point of this kiss wasn't clear; all he knew was that it felt right. But feeling right didn't mean that it actually was right, they had made it clear the morning before that it was not right... it was plain wrong. He wrapped his free arm around her back and supported her neck as he deepened the kiss further. It was a slow sensual kiss, so slow it was almost immobile, but the passion was definitely there and definitely real. "What was that for?" Pacey asked her as she pulled he lips away from his, resting her forehead against his.
"I love you Pacey, I guess I just wanted you to know that. I know how our story ends, it ends with you and me but sometimes to get to the ending you have to play out the middle," She told him, watching him as he slowly opened his eyes. He looked deeply into her and questioned her words.
"And what does that mean, what do we have to do to get to that point where we can finally be together?" Pacey asked her in a whisper.
"We have to live Pacey, we have to live without each other. Y'know? Not without each other per se but we need to include other people in our lives so that there's no chance we misread things. So in the mean time, you see other women and I see other men, it might be hard but it's what we have to do. When it comes a time when we know for sure it's the right time then that's the time to be together," she told him sadly.
"What if I already know, what if I know that you're that one, you're that person that I'm going to be with for the rest of my days. I already know," Pacey told her then took a deep breath. "But if you need that time to make sure then I can wait, I can cope with you seeing other men. I can be the friend and comfort you when they break your heart because I know our future Joey," Pacey said. He looked at her and kissed her cheek.
"And you can cope? You can cope with me seeing another guy because I find it hard coping with you seeing other women. Even when I gave you the go ahead to see Audrey, it still hurt. But I can cope if you can, but can you cope?" She asked him. She needed him to be sure, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him in any way, his love was too precious.
"I've managed this long, I can cope a little bit longer. I mean I'm not going to say it makes any sense to me, I doesn't, but they are your reasons and I have to respect that, you deserve a little bit of time. But I will always be here, whether we end up together or not," Pacey told her softly. Watching as she smiled at him, thankful for his understanding.
"We will. But right now we sleep," Joey told him, placing a kiss on his forehead and turning her back to him, pulling his hand and wrapping it around her waist.
"Just remember one thing Potter. Contrary to popular belief destiny is not what we make it, destiny is destiny and it's out of our hands," Pacey told her, pulling his body close to hers and holding her waist as she fell asleep. It was strange to thank of what just happened, it made no sense, if she knew he was the one then why did she want to be with other people.
end of part six, part 7 coming soon. Wasn't great but that's for all the great feedback I got so far.
Pacey walked out of work and headed towards his car, he had been trying to get through to Joey at the apartment all day with no luck. He didn't know whether he wanted to talk to her or whether he just wanted to run away from reality. The conversation this morning had left a lot unfinished, he didn't know what was going to happen with their friendship but he know that he couldn't lose her. He sat inside his car and took a deep breath, exhaling the tense breath he had been holding before taking his cell phone out of his pocket and dialing the number. He waited a while as the phone rang out, he knew if she wasn't there she would be at the dorm, he actually hoped she had gone back to the dorm to work things out with Audrey. Jack answered. "Hey Jackers is Joey still there?" Pacey asked him.
"Err no Pace, she went home at about four, she's been gone ages. Have you two worked things out yet?" Jack asked her, he would love to see them together again, or at least on speaking terms.
"Actually no, but I'm on my way to her dorm right now, but I'll see you later," Pacey told him hanging up and thinking. She must have gone back to the dorm; he started up his car and made his way to the Worthington campus. On the way he stopped at the florists and collected a bouquet of white roses, his sister had once told him that white roses stood for friendship so they seemed perfect. He had ordered them earlier in the day; he figured that after this morning she deserved a peace offering, or at least a token of his friendship. He drove to the campus thinking about what he would say, he knew he could plan it out but it would all go out the window when he saw her. There was no point planning anything. He parked the car and made his way through the halls to the dorm, knocking on the door. Nobody answered. He waited a second before calling through the wood. "Joey?" Pacey shouted through the door, pushing it to see if it was unlocked. He turned the doorknob and entered, walking around, and putting the flowers on the bed, he walked into the bathroom and looked around, closing the door when he saw no one there. It wasn't normal for Joey or Audrey to keep the door open when they weren't home; he turned around and looked around the apartment. Pacey sat down on Joey's bed and looked over the other side of the room to an area he hadn't been able to see before, his mouth dropped when he saw Audrey lying on the floor. He got up and ran over to her, kneeling down beside her and shaking her by the shoulders. "Audrey!" he shouted, grabbing her with his hands and shaking her by the shoulders again. Her eyes opened slightly, to a small slit, she was barely conscious. "Audrey!" Pacey shouted again, louder. "Come on Audrey if this is meant to be a joke it's not bloody funny!" he shouted as he shook her constantly, it seemed as though the movement was the only thing keeping her even slightly awake. He looked behind her head at the smashed vodka bottle, but this was more than just alcohol, if this was alcohol she would be either drunk or unconscious, this was something more. "Audrey did you take anything!" Pacey questioned her but she said nothing, she just let her head turn to the side. "Audrey! Audrey! What did you take!" Pacey said as he shook her, letting her go when he saw a pill bottle lying half underneath the bed, it was empty. He heard a key in the lock as he turned Audrey's face to look at him again; he placed his hand on her cheek and turned it to him, slapping it lightly, to keep her eyes awake. He kneeled up and took his jacket off, propping it underneath her head to act as a pillow.
"Audrey listen, I really don't want to pressure you but you have to..." Joey said starting her sentence as she walked in. She had called her a few times but she hadn't answered, she was ignoring her, she knew it. She had to talk to her and help her, it didn't matter about Eddie anymore, all that mattered was her. She cut her own words off when she turned and saw Pacey as he shook Audrey. "Oh my god!" Joey said putting her hands over her mouth in shock as he turned around with a worried expression on his face. "What happened?" Joey asked him, she didn't move, she couldn't move, her feet seemed to be nailed to the floor.
"I just came in and found her," Pacey said leaving Audrey and grabbing the phone quickly, she wasn't coming round. He looked at Joey; she wasn't doing anything she was just standing in shock with her hands over her mouth.
"I... I... She," Joey said trying to say something, anything, but nothing came out as the tears tumbled down her cheek at the sight of her.
"I know, I know, but don't worry she is going to be okay," he told her calmly, walking over to her and putting his arm around her. She turned herself to his chest and hugged his back. "It's going to be alright," Pacey told her, holding her closely to his chest as he dialed 911, calling for help.
Pacey drove his car in the darkness back to the Worthington campus, it was late, he had been at the hospital for six hours with Joey. He glanced over to her as she slept in the passenger seat; somehow, she had managed to fall asleep in the fifteen-minute drive from the hospital to the campus. He did not have the heart to wake her, he just hoped that she would wake by herself before he got there. She slept with his jacket over her shoulders and her hair fell over her face. He yawned widely, he was tired, he had been awake a long time and so much had happened, it was a wonder he managed to drive at all. He pulled the car to a stop in a parking place outside the halls of residence and turned the engine off, taking the key from the ignition. Un-strapping himself he looked back over at her, she hadn't woken, she was deeply asleep, he could probably move her without waking her. He got out the car and shut the door carefully but firmly, walking around to the passenger side, he crouched down and looked at her, wiping her hair out of her face, staring at her sleeping face. He shook her gently a few times, she stirred but did not wake so he leant over her and un-strapped her carefully. Picking up her purse he took the keys out and put them in his pocket, putting the purse back onto her lap. Pacey put his hand under her knees and lifted her legs out gently, supporting her back with his other hand he lifted her out of the car. He cradled her sleeping form in his arms and she curled herself up in his them comfortably. He shut the car door carefully and locked it before walking to the door walked through it as someone help it for him. He carried her up the stairs; three flights until he got to her floor, walking up to her door. She was getting heavy now, but he could still keep her in his arms comfortably. She stopped and carefully reached in his pocket for the keys he had taken from her, crouching slightly to open the door. It was hard to open the door with her in his arms but after a few moments he managed and pushed the door open, closing the door with his foot when he got her inside. He lay her down on the bed and started to take of her shoes, pulling them of her feet and placing them beside the bed. He walked over to the curtains and closed them carefully before walking back to her and covering her with a blanket, kissing her forehead gently. He took the bouquet of flowers, which were now wilting, and took them through to the bathroom with a vase that had stood on Joey's desk. He ran the water into the vase and placed them in, they were wilting but hopefully with a little bit of care then they would live for Joey to see them. He looked at himself in the mirror as he yawned, he looked tired, but of course he would be tired after the events of the last twenty-four hours. He arranged the flowers a little before he walked into the room again and placed them on the table beside Joey's bed. He didn't want to leave her, she had been through allot and he didn't want to make her disorientated when she woke so he walked over to her desk chair and took a seat. He loosened his tie completely and took it off, placing it on the desk then unfastened his shoes, if he was going to stay he may as well stay comfortable. Leaning his head back on the chair, he yawned, intending to stay awake but failed miserably as he drifted off into a soft sleep.
Joey awoke a few hours later, rubbing her eyes and looking at the clock, it read 03:02, she was confused, she couldn't remember going to sleep, in fact, come to think of it, she couldn't remember getting home at all. She gazed around the room in the half-light and noticed the flowers that sat on the table in a vase; there was a lot she couldn't remember. She couldn't even remember getting flowers let alone putting them in a vase and arranging them. She put the bedside lamp on and rubbed her eyes, sitting up in bed, she took the jacket off and laid it on the bed. She looked at the flowers, taking one head between two fingers and sniffing the sweet scent, she never got flowers, she always considered them wasteful as they always died but she did like them anyway. She reached into the flowers and pulled out a card, rubbing the sleep from her eyes to get a vision not so blurry, she opened it and read it.
Dear Joey, So sorry I was an ass, please accept my flowers as a token of my friendship and apology for being a complete and utter pain in the ass. Love, Pacey
She laughed at his words and placed the card on the table, she had been trying to speak to him but he was too busy all day yesterday. She looked around the room and saw him sleeping in a very bad position on her chair. She got out of bed and stood up, picking one rose from the vase and walking over to him with it, twirling it between her hands. She chuckled as she saw him sleeping soundly, his head hung over the back of the chair uncomfortably and his hands stayed crossed over his chest. She took the rose and lightly traced his face with it, laughing silently as he tried to hit it away with his hand in his sleep. She hit his nose with the head of the flower and laughed when he squirmed in his sleep, not waking. She ran the rose from his forehead, down his nose and over his throat, moaning in his sleep and letting a smile creep to his lips. He opened his eyes slowly and looked up at her. His eyes were a bright blue, they always more in the morning, she watched them as they slowly emerged from underneath his eyelids. "Hey," Pacey said as he yawned, stretching his arms behind his head.
"Hi. You looked uncomfortable, if you were going to sleep here why didn't you just sleep in Audrey's bed?" she questioned him, standing above him holding the rose in her hand. He sat up and moaned as the pain shot through his neck. "And by the looks of it, it wasn't the best choice of sleeping position for you," she told him softly.
"Nope, bad mistake but I wasn't planning on sleeping, if I were I would have taken her bed. I just wanted to wait until you woke up to make sure you were okay," Pacey said. He put his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it, trying to rid it of the stiffness. He looked up at her, she had obviously found her roses, she obviously wasn't mad that he had bought her them, she obviously took them the right way.
"I can't even remember getting home, did you drive me? I remember being in the car," Joey asked walking over to her bed and sitting on the edge of it.
"Well no you wouldn't remember because I couldn't bare to wake you," Pacey told her getting up and perching himself on her desk, talking to her and resting himself on his hands. "I carried you all the way up here and it was no easy feat I tell ya, three flights of stairs to this place, they should modernize it, get elevators or something," Pacey said. He placed one hand on the back of his neck and stretched it backwards, stretching it.
"All the way up here?" Joey asked in disbelief, shaking her head. She looked over to him and watched as he nodded, she smiled back at him unable to believe that she had slept so heavily. "Thanks for the flowers, I forgive you for being an ass," She told him. He smiled at her and walked over to sit beside her.
"Well my sister told me that white roses symbolize friendship so I thought that they were best," Pacey said, looking down at his feet before he finally met her eyes.
"Well they're beautiful. Thanks Pacey, thank you so much," she said pulling him towards her in a tight hug. She closed her eyes and leant her head against his chest as he held her tightly, returning the bear hug.
"They're only flowers Joey, you don't need to thank me. I just thought that maybe I should apologize for this morning... well yesterday morning," Pacey told her, still holding her. He wrapped his fingers around the silky strands of her hair and entwined them in his fingers, taking the scent of her into his senses as he lay his head on her shoulder.
"Not for the flowers Pacey, I mean... yes thank you for the flowers but... that's not what I'm thanking you for," Joey told him pulling slowly away from the embrace. "Y'know through all this you forgot about what I said, or it certainly seemed that way. You were so supportive y'know, you called her mother, you spoke to the doctors and took care of everything, even got her a private room. I don't know if it was for her or for me but I appreciated you being there anyway. You didn't need to be there, you didn't need to hold my hand whilst the doctors talked to us, you could have left me with her but you didn't," Joey said. She took his hand in hers and ran her thumb over his large knuckles, feeling the soft skin underneath her digit. Luckily Audrey had been alright, the overdose had been taken only a little while before Pacey found her, if it hadn't been for him she may have died.
"I couldn't have left you, I didn't want to leave you, you were so distraught. I couldn't bear to leave you; I can never bear to leave you but especially tonight. Even if you don't want to be my friend, I can't just stop being one, not when you mean so much to me. I'm not just talking about what I said, I'm talking about all the years we've been friends, we've been friends almost all of our lives and that means something, its not something I could stop in an instant. It's never something I could just stop Joey," Pacey told her, looking into her face. She nodded in agreement.
"Pacey... I said some things yesterday that I should have never said. I was thinking about it and..." Joey took a deep breath, stopping here sentence she looked at him softly. " Pacey I can't lose you, I can't imagine my life without your friendship. Y'know I don't want to go through what I went through that summer after graduation when you weren't there. I mean just to think that there wasn't the option to go and see you just to banter with you and insult your dress sense," She told him, watching as he smiled, a laugh played on his throat. "I mean, believe it or not I missed those awful, orange, red, green, blue Hawaiian shirts and that terrible hat. God that hat, I missed that hat, I really missed you that summer, I hated it," Joey told him sadly. "I couldn't go through that again, knowing that you weren't there, even when we were meant to hate each other I still knew you were there for me. And to think that there would be a single minute that you weren't is heartbreaking," Joey told her with a tear in her eyes. That summer had been awful, she would never admit it but it was true.
"I missed you too, I hate being away from you, I just can't bare to think of not having you. I just want you to be in my life in whatever way is possible and if friendship is the only way that we can be in each others lives then that's fine by me," Pacey told her.
"Well, we can do friends right?" She asked him and he nodded, pulling her back into a hug, yawning against his chest and closing her eyes.
"You want to sleep?" He asked her, stroking his hand over her silky locks.
"Yeah, just like this, just hold me," She asked him. He nodded to her and scooted back on the bed with her, lying down with her. They stayed in the silence of the night for a moment when Joey took her head from the safety of his chest and looked at him. "Are you alright Pacey? I didn't ask and I should have, I mean Audrey is your ex-girlfriend and you did find her, I just wondered if you are alright," Joey asked him, raising her face to look at him
"I'm okay, are you? I mean, you don't usually ask for me to hold you unless you're worried or hurt," he asked her. He traced her face with his thumb, causing her eyes to close when she felt the warmth of his skin on her own. There was something about his touch, however small, that caused warmth to shoot through her.
"Pacey I ask you to hold me because I feel safe, because no matter what happens it's always a place that I know that nothing bad will happen. I know nothing bad would ever happen because you would never let it," Joey told him, reeling in his soft touch. He let his hand over from her hair to cup her cheek, stroking her cheekbone with him thumb again, watching her as she spoke with her eyes closed lightly.
"I would never let anything hurt you, I mean you can't always stop bad things from happening but you can try to comfort the people you love," he said. He swallowed the lump in his throat as she reached her hand to rest on top of his and laced her fingers with his.
"Sometimes I just feel that it's like you stop the world from turning for me, that you would stop everything just to save me. Pacey you save me," she told him, gently kissing his hand that rested, cupping her cheek.
"I... I..." Pacey stuttered, he didn't know what to say. All thoughts disappeared from his head as her eyes opened, looking straight into his. She moved her lips down to his and captured them in a kiss; softly gliding her tongue over is teeth. He felt her as she kissed him, putting her hands on his face and pulling him closer to her. This wasn't the same as the night before, this was real, this wasn't a need to be touched by someone it was the need to be touched by him and only him. He let himself be kissed, let her deepen the kiss, but it was confusing to tell what she really wanted. The point of this kiss wasn't clear; all he knew was that it felt right. But feeling right didn't mean that it actually was right, they had made it clear the morning before that it was not right... it was plain wrong. He wrapped his free arm around her back and supported her neck as he deepened the kiss further. It was a slow sensual kiss, so slow it was almost immobile, but the passion was definitely there and definitely real. "What was that for?" Pacey asked her as she pulled he lips away from his, resting her forehead against his.
"I love you Pacey, I guess I just wanted you to know that. I know how our story ends, it ends with you and me but sometimes to get to the ending you have to play out the middle," She told him, watching him as he slowly opened his eyes. He looked deeply into her and questioned her words.
"And what does that mean, what do we have to do to get to that point where we can finally be together?" Pacey asked her in a whisper.
"We have to live Pacey, we have to live without each other. Y'know? Not without each other per se but we need to include other people in our lives so that there's no chance we misread things. So in the mean time, you see other women and I see other men, it might be hard but it's what we have to do. When it comes a time when we know for sure it's the right time then that's the time to be together," she told him sadly.
"What if I already know, what if I know that you're that one, you're that person that I'm going to be with for the rest of my days. I already know," Pacey told her then took a deep breath. "But if you need that time to make sure then I can wait, I can cope with you seeing other men. I can be the friend and comfort you when they break your heart because I know our future Joey," Pacey said. He looked at her and kissed her cheek.
"And you can cope? You can cope with me seeing another guy because I find it hard coping with you seeing other women. Even when I gave you the go ahead to see Audrey, it still hurt. But I can cope if you can, but can you cope?" She asked him. She needed him to be sure, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him in any way, his love was too precious.
"I've managed this long, I can cope a little bit longer. I mean I'm not going to say it makes any sense to me, I doesn't, but they are your reasons and I have to respect that, you deserve a little bit of time. But I will always be here, whether we end up together or not," Pacey told her softly. Watching as she smiled at him, thankful for his understanding.
"We will. But right now we sleep," Joey told him, placing a kiss on his forehead and turning her back to him, pulling his hand and wrapping it around her waist.
"Just remember one thing Potter. Contrary to popular belief destiny is not what we make it, destiny is destiny and it's out of our hands," Pacey told her, pulling his body close to hers and holding her waist as she fell asleep. It was strange to thank of what just happened, it made no sense, if she knew he was the one then why did she want to be with other people.
end of part six, part 7 coming soon. Wasn't great but that's for all the great feedback I got so far.