Chapter Twenty

They were in his personal chambers. Soft, violet light swept over them, quietly illuminating unobtrusively. They sat on a hard, cold bench together. There was only silence, each left to introspection. Vader's breathing echoed around them, the only noise in the stillness.

Padmé wondered what she was supposed to do, what Qui-Gon wanted of her. She had tried to make Anakin see, but he was simply too stubborn, too much in pain to acknowledge her. She could feel his thoughts beside her. They were a frantic flurry in his soul of guilt, loathing and repression. He repeated the cycle over and over again, with almost no hope of a breakthrough.

A thought rose to the surface of his mind before he shielded it from her. She got a vague sense that it was important, but carefully did not try to pry into his mind. It was not like she could, anyways. He overpowered her in the Force, easily dwarfing her abilities.

She turned to him, sensing the conflict deep within him.

"Anakin," she whispered softly. It was both an accusation and a caress. She saw him flinch, however slightly. She filled her mind with images of him as he had been, knowing that he would see them. She slowly allowed them to trickle away before replacing them with him as the overbearing Sith demon he had become.

He got to his feet, and she could almost see his lips thinning into an angry line, his blue eyes narrowing in anger and… she closed her eyes, identifying the other emotion buried within him. Shame, she thought with a sinking feeling. Shame.

"I asked you once before," she said, standing but not moving from the bench, her voice echoing around the room clearly. "Will you deny me again the chance to see you as you really are?" She came up to him, speaking to the cloak that was draped over his shoulders. "No masks," she implored. "Just… things as they are, as they were before."

She felt his reluctance and horror, but also a small chink in his armor, a possible way to get through to him, a part of him that was not as dedicated to keeping her from seeing his real face.

"Things can never be the way they were before," he said bitterly, brushing her aside. She felt him collect his thoughts before he turned to her. "I… am not as I was before," he said with a touch of imploring agony in his voice. "The Anakin you long to see beneath the mask is gone."

Her brown eyes blazed with defiance as pity enveloped her. She still felt revulsion for Vader, but she had begun to understand him, begun to see into the hideous world he inhabited. The more she saw into his soul, the more she felt her disgust slipping away, although she still retained a healthy measure for the man who had murdered children.

"Do you think that I loved you because you were handsome, Anakin?" She asked the question in a measured tone of voice, trying to keep herself from yelling at him in her frustration.

He said nothing. The silence in itself was an accusation in itself that felt like a knife twisting itself into her heart. But she continued, because she could sense his resolve weakening. If she could only look into his eyes, then she would know. She needed to be able to see him, and she sensed that some part of him needed her to see him as well.

"If you would embrace who you are, nothing would matter any more," she cajoled gently. "Our love…" she paused, knowing that he was listening to her intently.

"You speak of the love between you and Anakin Skywalker," he hissed. "There is nothing within me that resembles him. I am transformed; I have left everything of his behind me. His feeble guilt, his pain… it is all gone, Padmé."

He was clinging to the lie, perpetuating it only because it was easier to accept then the truth. She shook her head gently, allowing a stray lock of hair to fall loose and come across her face.

"You will come back to me, Anakin. The least you owe me, after all that you have done, is a glimpse of you without the mask."

She pushed at his mental barriers, allowing her love to swell and tip over into him. She sensed a wellspring of longing, of deep want there. She closed her eyes and managed to find Anakin Skywalker buried deep within Vader. His presence was enough to illuminate her, even buried as it was. She accepted the rest of him, as bitter and angry as it was, gathering it all unto herself.

Please, she asked him softly. Please.

She felt him withdraw slowly, guarding his thoughts from her.

She opened her eyes, thrusted back to the real world. She sensed his eyes on her, and calmly waited for him to make a decision.

"You do not know what you ask of me. This… will not be easy for either of us." A wave of relief swept over her, and she nodded.

"I know, Anakin." She took a breath, gathering her dignity and putting on what Anakin would have called her 'Senator Face.' "I never expected it to even resemble easy."

He came up to her, and for a moment, she was overpowered by the aura of power he seemed to exude. But then, she realized that his intentions were far from sinister.

A black glove reached out and hesitantly, clumsily, tried to caress and smooth the bland expression out of her face. She allowed him to touch her for a moment, but then pulled away, hearing the hiss of his breath as she walked away from him.

"You are not my husband," she murmured to him. "Not yet."

She felt the disappointment from him in the Force, the agony and guilt that streamed from within him. She caught a sensation of powerful regret from him, and she looked up to meet what she imagined to be a blue-eyed gaze. She looked away before it could affect her, and felt him move to the door of his quarters, doubtless to consult with his medical droid.

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Vader stood before 4-6C, conversing with the droid.

"How long will we have without the mask?"

"You will have about thirty standard minutes with the temporary respirator, My Lord. It is smaller and allows more mobility, but it also limits breathing functions more then the standard helmet."

Padmé nodded guardedly.

"It will have to be enough."

Vader turned to her, and she felt reluctance from him.

"Padmé…"

She shook her head with a small smile.

"It will be alright, Anakin." She swallowed, knowing how empty the words she was about to speak would seem to him.

"Trust me."

A/N- I am floored by the delightful comments on this story I am recieving! Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed- it really means a lot to me.

Meh, I wasn't really sure about this chapter... it was kind of slow to write, but I can pretty much promise everyone that the events of the next chapter will be what everyone has been waiting for, and most of you probably won't be disappointed.