AN: Igor, the human chef, is from the PoF watching one too many episodes of MASH.

Chapter Eight

Someone was in bed with her.

With that single though, Sango's eyes snapped open the following morning, until saw familiar robes cradled in her fingertips, and felt the steady beating of Miroku's heart. 'He stayed,' she thought to herself, feeling very guilty that he had expected her to have vanished.

Her guilt was gone when she wondered what time it was. Like she needed to ask. It was just before sunrise. Her body had gotten used to waking up so early. She'd only gotten four hours of sleep in the night, but it had been enough. It had been the deepest sleep she'd gotten through the whole war. She hadn't been plagued by the faces of men she had lost, or by the blood she had seen, or by anything else.

Slipping out of bed, she scribbled a quick note for Miroku and left it on her pillow, wrapping the blankets around him. She threw on whatever was handiest and grabbed her bathing things. The showers were empty at the time, which was part of the reason why she got up so early, besides being the general. The showers had plenty of hot water for a quick shower, and her supper was always hot off the grill.

Her wet hair pulled up into a ponytail, she hurried to the mess hall, and got double portions of anything, including a triple portion of coffee. She started drinking it as she watched Igor loaded up her tray as she had asked. Sango almost spat the coffee out, as she always did. "Igor, how many times do I have to tell you not to use horse piss in the coffee?"

"Every morning, m'am, and I still haven't learned," he teased, handing her the tray. "Got a large appetite today? You seem in good spirits today, m'am."

She laughed, tossing the wet hair over her shoulder. Her actions surprised the cook. As of late, he hadn't heard her laugh. But when she had first arrived in the camp, she had been laughing at all the jokes of the soldiers, trading stories with them and getting into trouble like all of them. The laughter had been sorely missed. None of them felt much like laughing now.

"I'm in the best of spirits, Igor. I feel like I could take on Naraku himself barehanded," she said. Sango smirked, grabbing utensils. Igor pretended not to notice that she took two of everything. "Let's just say that I had a change of faith."

Igor was stunned as she left, heading back to her tent, and he managed to snap back to earth in time to keep from burning the scrambled eggs.

XX

"Morning," he muttered ruffling his hair and trying to gather his bearings. "Damnit," he then muttered, very monk like, at the additional 'extra' of waking up after the night he had, in Sango's bed. Why was it that men were always put in this predicament in the morning? God, how he hated dawn hard-ons.

Sango giggled, putting down the overburdened tray. She pressed her fingers against her lip, motioning for him to be quiet. Sitting beside him on the bed, she slowly rolled down the thin blanket that covered him. "Are you always this happy in the morning?"

Miroku quickly grabbed the blanket back from her to cover himself up. Glaring and blushing simultaneously he waved her away. "Don't look," he muttered trying to calm it down. It wasn't going down. Damn. Well, there, there... He could tame it. "You brought food?"

"Why can't I look?" Sango asked, feeling suddenly very offended, although her tone was merely curious and strangely innocent sounding.

"Because it's not pretty," Miroku murmured under his breath.

"Well then, because I am embarrassed," Miroku shot back, wondering if she knew how odd and stimulating a situation this was. It wasn't helping calm himself either.

"Why would you be embarrassed? The body is a natural thing, and there's nothing wrong with it. Nor is there anything odd about a mature man having an erection in the morning. Although this is the first time I've actually seen it. How did it happen?" she asked curiously, her eyes slipping down to the erection in question.

Catching himself on an after thought, his thought process was still groggy because of the early hour and topic of conversation. "Do you realize you've just broken one of the carnal rules between male and females? Never compare! Especially before you've even seen me!" Miroku shot and then thought about it. "And you called it odd looking. How do you think my little staff is going to feel about that?" he asked and thought to himself begrudgingly: 'It apparently doesn't bother him. He's still going full force.'

Swallowing, Miroku looked up at the ceiling. Can't Buddha help him now? Sure, he was there for him all night, but couldn't he give his loyal servant and extra bonus? After a moment of waiting, and praying, Miroku glared at the flap of the ceiling. Apparently not.

Sighing, Miroku looked down at the blanket and tried to push his erection down, but it just kept springing up. "It's one of the mysteries of life. Now, Sango, believe it or not, I do have some… Oh never mind." Miroku murmured and followed Sango's gaze. He could feel himself twitch in response. Wonderful, even more engorged now. "I suppose sleeping beside you all night and remembering how you feel and taste, not to mention how you sound, helped urge him along."

The color began to rise to her cheeks. Part of her wondered about what he had said. What did she feel like? What did she taste like? How did she sound? Sango swallowed nervously, pushing her eyes back down to the floor. It felt odd acting so demure around Miroku. She was playing with fire, and she didn't care. "You have some what?" she asked curiously.

"Well, dignity?" Miroku fumbled over the answer. "I don't know. It's just odd." Miroku sounded almost young.

"Yes, you and dignity are an odd combination," she teased. "I thought you were going to say that you had some self-control and after last night, I would believe it." She gestured to the table, finally answering his earlier question. "I have scrambled eggs, coffee, toast, and bacon. At least, that's what it's supposed to be. However, the eggs taste like they were mixed out of mud, the coffee tastes like piss, the toast is actually carefully disguised pancakes from the last demon war two hundred years ago, and the bacon is simulated bacon flavoring mixed with mortar. Care for breakfast?"

"When you put it that way, how can I refuse?" Miroku grinned and then took her hand, closing his palm over it. "It is also self control. But that is wearing, very, very thin," Miroku explained softly, bringing her knuckles to his lips and kissing them softly. "I told you, you are a temptation."

"I won? Is there a prize?" Miroku asked encouraged beyond belief by her kiss, amazed at how he suddenly felt like he could jump over mountains that she held his hand tighter, Miroku felt like he could kill Naraku himself right now, after she complimented him.

Leaning over, he kissed her again, and again. The sixth time he pried her mouth open with his tongue. "Did I ever tell you what is a wonderful way to start your day out?"

Sango looked at her breakfast longingly. It was getting cold! Arching her back as his hands ran down her side, she decided that for once she could deal with a cold breakfast. Sango looked at him, her hand on his shoulder, ready to push him away or slide down his back and indulge in the feeling of his muscles, of his hard body and his warmth… "Let me guess. The answer has something to do with sex."

"You got that right," he purred in her ear, smelling her scent. "You showered. You smell wonderful." Miroku whispered it in her ear. "Let's see how you taste." His lips trailed their way down to her collarbone.

She shook her head, her weight hair still too heavy to sway the way it normally did when she moved. "I don't think so. I showered. You and I start fooling around like that, and I'm going to start getting smelly and sweaty again and then I'm going to be pissed off for the rest of the day because I'll go clean only to find out that all the hot water's gone."

"Then you can go bathe at Kagome's," Miroku said referring to the heated spring she had on her land. "You know you want to..." he said in a sing song voice. What he really meant was 'Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssse?'

Her eyes narrowed. "I already abused that spring once."

"Twice and I'll come with you. Kagome wouldn't mind the company and I can meet Inuyasha again," Miroku proposed.

"You have to go back," she pointed out sadly. "But…" Sango thought of something, and looked at the floor, rolling the thought around in her head. Her brown eyes started shining cunningly. "But… you could stay longer… if you went back to Naraku and told him that you weaseled your way into my confidence… and my bed."

"No," Miroku said simply. His erection dying down instantly. "I'll leave this afternoon. But without telling Naraku."

XX

Kagome sat on her doorstep beside Inuyasha doing something which was for one good for her, and second, a part of their lesson. The human test of patience.

They were peeling onions.

"Now," Kagome sniffed and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. The onions were very potent. "We slowly peel off these brown layers and put them in this basket. We do the work well, otherwise it compromises our work ethic, and without servants you will probably have to do this every night as a way of helping Kikyo with dinner." Kagome sniffed, a tear running down her cheek.

"I love onions. I hate peeling them- Don't even think about using your sword. Hands. Think of how useful your claws are now." Kagome pointed out, still trying to grab the end of the peel under her thumb nail.

Inuyasha was confused. He held up his onion. "Exactly why are we doing this? I mean, okay, it's to learn patience of some crap like that, but what are the onions for?"

"Dinner," Kagome explained simply. "I'm making a big salad. And something a traveler passing by the village years ago called: chili."

"Okay, so in other words, when we're done peeling them, we're going to cut them in cubes right? And mix them up with some garlic, and bay leaves, and beans, and tomatoes and shit, right?"

"Kinda..." Kagome murmured. "You wanna make it?" Kagome asked looking for any excuse not to have to cook. After the experience from last night, what with Shippo bringing her a bowl of live fish for dinner... Kagome shuddered. "And rice balls. Gonna make a big meal."

Inuyasha looked at the onion he was juggling from hand to hand. He wondered if he should really show off or not. He decided to make it a very subtle show off, just to tease Kagome. He pushed the nail of his thumb into the onion, running a line from tip to end. Then, using the forefinger, he carefully slipped a claw under the skin of the onion. In one swift movement, he had peeled off the onion skin in one large piece. He passed his perfectly clean onion up to Kagome, who sat a few steps higher than him. "Next, please."

Kagome glared at him. "Sniff your finger," she ordered, passing him another onion. 'Superior sense of smell my ass... He isn't even tearing up! Or sneezing!'

"Very funny, Kagome," Inuyasha said, rubbing his nose with his free hand. The scent of the onion that Kagome was peeling was getting to him. He arched one of his eyebrows, his white ears standing on end. He looked at her teasingly, pretending to look suspicious. "Are you just saying that because you're upset that I outsmarted your plot to make me cry?"

"Pl-..." Kagome's voice died out as she gave him, her she-devil stare. "Inuuuyashaaaa... do you think sooooooooooooooo little of me?" Kagome asked batting her eyelashes and talking sweetly. It was a venus fly trap. She wanted to see him get out of this without any singed hairs.

Laughing, he picked up another onion, and peeled it in the same manner. "I think that deep down, there's a little kid in there who likes playing pranks on people and watching them get caught. And I think that my antagonism brings it out." He smiled as he handed her another onion. "I enjoy getting you riled up."

Kagome glared at him then shrugged and turned her attention back to the union. "You compliment yourself," she shot back and coughed, clearing her throat. "Do you want to invite Kikyo over for dinner?"

This time, he looked honestly surprised, and pleasantly so. "I… I'm invited to dinner?" Okay, sure, so she had asked about inviting Kikyo to dinner. But if she was asking him what he thought on the matter… that was some kind of hint, right?

Kagome stared at him wide eyed, dropping her onion she gripped his shoulder. "You honestly thought you weren't? You were invited since the first day for dinner, or to stay for it rather. I never thought otherwise... Oh, Inuyasha, I'm sorry. I didn't think I had to put an invitation out there, I figured you would feel free... In any case, I'd like it very much for you to come to dinner," Kagome said with a warm smile then quickly amended. "Oh. And Kikyo too."

"Of course," he agreed, trying to hide just how pleased he was. "She's your soul-sister, right? It's only right to ask her to dinner. Um..." His ears lowered slightly as he picked up the onion she had dropped. "This isn't going to be formal or anything, is it?" He thought a moment. "Maybe you should go over human dining etiquette just incase. I don't want to embarrass anyone."

"Nothing formal. We just stuff ourselves till we pop." Kagome summed up, though her face was somewhat somber. "Sisters don't always get along. And since, you two will be coming over, I think it would be more apt for me to refer to you as Nee-Chan, or Inuyasha-chan."

"You can call me anything you want," he grumbled, wincing as he thought as doing something accidentally wrong and having people look at him like he was a ruffian. He didn't want either priestesses looking at him that way! "I just really, really, REALLY don't want to embarrass myself. Or anyone else."

"You know how to use chopsticks?"

Inuyasha looked stunned for a moment. He leaned in, feeling like he was on some great verge of understand something about a life that could have been his, some great mystery of his human side was about to be revealed. "A little," he whispered, enjoying the feeling of secrecy he was sharing with Kagome. "But isn't chili a little bit too soupy to eat with chopsticks?"

"That's what the soup bowls are for," she whispered back, building their conspiracy further.

"Are you suggesting that I drink whatever I can't eat?"

"Nope. That we all slurp using spoons."

"So," he said, leaning in a little further and trying to keep a straight face, hoping to get her to laugh. His nose brushed hers. "We're using chopsticks and spoons and slurping... is good?"

"Always." Kagome smiled, rubbing her nose against him tilting her chin up a bit towards his. "You do know how to use a spoon of course, I presume- Oh, and of course, cups for the tea."

"Actually," he said quickly, breaking away from her and looking ashamed. "Where I come from we use our feet to eat and we lap water from the floor."

Kagome huffed. "I saw you pour water at the table when we met, not to mention countless times of you chewing down my ramen. Don't try and mock be, boy-" Kagome paused and turned her attention towards the woods. "Someone just passed one of my wards..." Kagome explained and focused her eyes, you could see her pupils dilating. "Human. No evil aura."

"Damn… what?" he asked, upset that he hadn't gotten Kagome to be able to laugh. He sniffed the air, standing to meet the gentle breeze. It took Inuyasha a moment to place it. He sat back down again, lounging on the steps. He looked suddenly so very lazy that it seemed impossible to believe that he had just been working, and so very arrogant that it was even harder to believe that he had been worried about his eating habits. "It's just Sango."

"No. I sensed two people," Kagome said shaking out her hair.

"Yea, I don't know the other guy's name, but he's a monk. You might know him. Tall, dark hair, likes Sango. I fought him too. He wasn't that bad of a fighter." Inuyasha scratched his head, remembering how the man had hit him. "Not that bad at all as he got in a good strike."

Kagome arched a brow in Inuyasha's direction, about to ask him if he fell off his rocker before figuring who he was reffering too. "OH! Miroku!" Kagome smiled and looked down the path expectantly. "Miroku-Sama is back? I wonder why he didn't come to visit before now- Fight? You two fought? Why?" Kagome asked in alarm.

Shrugging, he said casually, "As I remember it, we both struck each other for getting involved in each other's love lives."

"Oh really?" Kagome seemed giddy before jumping up. "Love lives? Both of you have been keeping things from me? What love lives?" Kagome asked like an excited teenager.

'Ah! Another opening!' He didn't even look at her as he admitted dryly. "He's my gay lover."

"I always wondered about your sexuality. Tell me, which one of you is the one who wears the Kimono after hours?" Kagome replied with snap shot speed.

"Miroku. He says he likes the freedom. Hence the reason why he wears the robes."

Kagome smirked. "You are a perv. Aren't you?"

Yawning, he stretched so far back that he could see her again, and he copied her smirk. "Not really. It's just that when I tease you and vice versa, you have the nicest color rise to your face."