Rescued

Chapter 7

Nymphadora opened her eyes but didn't move. How long have I been asleep? She had brief memories of Remus shaking her and telling her to get up and eat, but then a black sleep clouded her consciousness, taking her back to her dark sanctuary. And there she had hidden for nearly two days.

Pulling against the dried fairy dust that melded her lashes together, she finally rubbed them open to see golden candlelight and a silken drapery that hung between her pallet and her beloved. With a straining brow, she sat up and the shadowy shapes that danced in the candlelight became clear. Suddenly, her eyes widened. Remus was on the other side of the hastily thrown drapery. And he was naked! Well, at least somewhat naked.

With stealth, she moved closer to the drapery and threw back a tattered section of the misty weave. She could see his bare chest, hand moving a silvery blade against his throat, a foamy beard at his chin. She smiled again; he was shaving the Muggle way. The only other man she'd seen do this was her father; and he was a Muggle, just like Remus' father.

Tonks nestled into her bedding and contemplated the beautiful man not two feet away, shaving shirtless. She nearly giggled as she thought about the irony of the makeshift curtain to guard her modesty, when both knew they would have to engage in inevitable intimacies.

Her heart warmed. She loved Remus. She'd been in love with him for nearly three years, and every day and week it grew stronger -- her need to be with him. She went so far as to move into his house. They had touched just once, but that simple touch was more intimate and soul-stirring than all the sexual encounters of her life combined. Perhaps because she loved him a different way; love mingled with respect and reverence but balanced with friendship and joy.

She had wanted to make love to him for so long; but he was so shy, so reserved and modest. Never in those years had she allowed herself to push her advantage. Even that evening in the hallway when she had wanted to say something foolish and innocent like, "I love you," because it pounded in her heart and returned unspoken in his eyes, she hadn't. The truth was she, too, was scared. She squeezed her eyes shut, musing silently. I do love Remus. She wanted Remus not only as a constant in her life but as a lover in her bed.

Things were more complicated now, though. Regardless of her desire to know him as intimately as any woman may know a man, there was now a dark shadow clouding her reality. The thought of physical intimacy with anyone, even Remus, brought back memories of the rape. The idea of even being touched reminded her of that violent loss of control at Malfoy's hands -- and Tonks hated to lose control.

That's why she had pulled away mentally in the brothel, even though she gave Remus her permission. The only way she could allow Remus to take her, even in order to release the cuffs, was to dissociate from her body, just as she had done when Malfoy pressed against her in violence. But had Remus understood? Tonks shuttered as she knew she would have allowed herself to feel violated once again in order to release the cuffs. But making love like that would not have been intimate for her. The memories of the rape were too brutal and too dominant in her mind. She shut her eyes tightly.

Is that why he wouldn't do it at the brothel? Didn't he realize that was the only way I could cope? Or maybe Remus didn't want her after she had been touch by Malfoy. She knew it wasn't her fault. Rape is an act of violence, not sex, and she was sure that Remus understood that, as well; but would he look at her differently now?

His only words had been, "I can't." Did that mean he physically couldn't engage in intercourse or that he couldn't mentally go through with it, realizing her fragile state?

Nymphadora nearly jumped out of her covers as a warm hand pressed against her shoulder.

"You're awake." Remus knelt next to the pallet, a pleasant smile on his lips.

"I suppose I am." Nymphadora stretched slightly and decided she felt much better, both mentally and physically, than when they had first arrived.

"Sleep can be healing," Remus said as he stood. "But too much sleep can mean you're just lazy."

"Remus! I think I'm entitled to a little laziness." Tonks mocked a frown, and he winked at her knowingly.

"Come on and get up. The ladies of the tribe have brought you a special treat."

Tonks moaned and forced herself to sit up. That's when she saw a large plate of fresh fruit. Strangely, she hadn't thought she was hungry until fresh strawberries and bananas caught her eyes. Like a child, she crawled out of bed and over to the large feast, catching a banana in her fingers.

"Remus, how long will this goblin gold last?"

"A few more days, but this was a gift." he said, and for the first time she realized how tan his skin was against the white, linen Moroccan robe.

"Nice robe," she said, stuffing a strawberry in her mouth. In fact, she found him very sexy in his exotic attire. It had no collar and no buttons, meaning it was very unRemus; but nonetheless, his sinewy frame and long limbs wore it with ease.

"Another gift," he said, pulling at the fabric and examining the embroidery around the neckline. "Do you think it will go over in London?" he added with a sly eye.

"Right." Tonks allowed herself to laugh. "Seriously, Remus, who do these people think you are?"

Remus blushed ever-so-slightly and looked down at a pomegranate. "Uhm…a bridegroom."

"Oh," Tonks responded quickly.

"But it does have its advantages. Look." Remus removed the silver lid off a small bowl to reveal melted chocolate.

Tonks sighed, "Oh my god! If only there were champagne!"

And from behind his back, Remus revealed a large green bottle. "Now, this cost me."

"Oh Remus!" Tonks laughed. "I'd hug you, but…"

Lupin spied the cuffs. "Yes, well…let's take things one step at a time."

Under a starry Middle-Eastern sky, they dined on chocolate-dipped fruits and warm champagne. And Tonks found it both odd and fitting that although she had loved Remus for so long, this perfect moment made her feel as if she were falling in love with him again for the first time.

tbc

Thanks for the brilliant beta-edit!