Law and Order NHU Naruto Humor Unit
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any related characters.
"Odor! Odor in the quart!" exclaimed a Uchiha policeman zombie. Another Uchiha policeman zombie laughed at the old joke. Orochimaru sighed from the audience.
"Why do my zombie slaves always end up idiots?" mumped the snake sennin as the zombies exploded. An ANBU AKA Hayate's hot girlfriend walked up to where the zombie was.
"Please rise for the honorable judge, Hoshigaki Kisame." Said ANBU AKA Hayate's hot girlfriend who's name is Uzuki Yuugao and from now on will be referred to as such. After stating this, the dead-but-now-alive Hayate strolled over and they cuddled.
Kisame walks in, in Akatsuki uniform except for his slashed Mist headband, which now has a Judge's gavel on it. Sameheda is set to the side and Kisame has a tiny sharkskin gavel in his hand. Deidara, who will always be female unless author states otherwise, cheered in the audience.
"Honorable?" yelled Kakashi from the defendant's table, his lawyer being Zabuza. "He's an S-Class Criminal from another village!"
"Shush!" yelled Kisame. "You should not talk. The only thing I hate more than pedophiles are those who sexually abuse. And according my Konoha lover, you're both, not only in this case but in many fanfictions."
Orochimaru slowly tiptoed out at the pedophile comment. He ran when he heard the rest.
"Orochimaru, you may stay!" boomed Kisame. "You have brought us Gekkou Hayate-." Squeals can be heard from Yuugao. "The Yondaime so he may protect his son, and many others, such as Zabuza. Plus I'm getting paid to hunt you down next week, so why do it now for nothing?"
"Oh…" Orochimaru sits down slowly. He gropes Kabuto, who would've been cool if he had just been a smart weakling that was cool which he was at a brief point and not a traitor/Orochimaru's love slave. Kabuto giggled.
"Now then, all of you can sit." Said Kisame, glaring at his week-from-now-assassination-target who had sat down and groped Kabuto. Orochimaru grinned sheepishly. "Okay, so… Present your opening statements."
"I LOVE YOU!" screamed a girl in the audience who will remain anonymous until her next mention.
"Love you too babe…" smirked Kisame.
Kakashi sighed and knew then he was doomed.
"Anyway…" said Kisame, coughing. "Opening statements?"
Shukaku and Arashi stood. Gaara smirked in the audience seeing his demon with a serious look for once, not the battle crazy demon he normally was. Shukaku right now looked like a brown haired Gaara with a tattoo that read "sand" and wearing a Hawaiian patterned suit.
"Now then…" said Shukaku. "I am Naruto's lawyer for the negligence case and Arashi is his lawyer for the sexual abuse case."
"Alright…" Kisame nodded and Arashi sat down.
End Chapter 2
Note: So far, Kisame's gal is most likely gonna be Hinata now. If you have problems, suggest someone else.