A/N: this chapter mostly focuses on T/Y's feelings and their past. It's really an emotional exchange. When you read this chapter you have to try hard to see both Yuna and Tidus's views and how they feel and why. Oh and thank you to all my reviewers ::blows kisses::
To:
Kuro-Hidama – No way! I'm not going to make them friends that easily ;) You'll see in this chapter...
Shattered Moment – I could do that couldn't I... ;)
::.Chapter Six.::
A teasing wind drifted through the quiet summer sky, ruffling a certain blonde's wisps of gold. Fidgeting a little from the sudden sharpness of the breeze, Tidus tucked the sheets over his head in an attempt to regain the welcoming sensation that was drifting slowly away, but he couldn't sleep. Focusing a little on his surroundings by listening intently while closing his eyes, he was aware of a soft humming in the stillness. The voice was familiar, like a song in the nighttime quiet. Hmmm...should I check it out, or try to get some sleep for a change? Laziness was overbearing and winning the battle, but curiosity was just a part of the blonde's nature, it couldn't be silenced.Lifting his body slowly out of his current position and slowly repositioning himself so that he could lean his legs out of the sheets, Tidus got out up and looked back to the little girl in the bed. He sighed quietly in relief, grateful that she was still asleep.
Getting her to bed was something he didn't want to experience again. Naomi had requested a story, a lullaby –which was a nightmare because he couldn't carry a tune to save his life- and he had to rub her back until she finally fell asleep. Tidus made a vow to himself that if he ever had kids; he would go through rigorous training first, because the 'joy of hearing little feet scampering around' wasn't enough to convince him. He didn't know how Yuna did it.
Glancing towards the closed balcony door of the condo, he peered out through the glass window first. He was usually quite stealth at night when he would usually escape from clingy girlfriends, but having Naomi in the room, was like having a ticking time bomb ready to explode at the slightest noise. Turning the knob slowly, using his palm to guide the knob quietly open, he thanked heaven the door didn't squeak. Since this wasn't even his house, or the mansion, he had to be extra careful.
Frowning a little from the sound of footsteps, Yuna turned her head slowly and ceased her humming, half-expecting to see Cloud emerge from the doorway. But what she saw instead was a half amazed, half concerned Tidus. She guessed her position did look questionable, dangerous to those who didn't know her well. Yuna was sitting on the railing of the balcony overlooking a grassy hill and beyond that a bustling city glowing with lights, over 3 flights high. Her hands were grasping lightly onto the railing, with legs outstretched, flexing this way and that, restlessly as if she was dancing mid-air. The truth was she was restless, and sleep wouldn't come to her tonight.
Tidus watched at her graceful yet, curious display. Is she gonna fall off?
"You can start breathing again, I won't lose my balance" Yuna clarified without examining his expression, she could tell by his unusual amount of discretion.
Returning to his normal self, Tidus regained his laid-back composure and stepped closer to her so that they were beside each other, but was still careful.
"What are you doing up so late? And on the railing?" he questioned, as they both looked beyond the fence separating the confined space behind the condo.
"I could ask you the same thing", Yuna said, tilting her head slightly, ignoring his second question. Looking at the stars she continued, deciding not to complicate things by leaving them in an uncomfortable silence. "I couldn't sleep. Too many things on my mind."
Tidus only nodded in response, understanding her completely.
Starting to hum again, a song that was foreign to Tidus, Yuna stared up at the endless blue above them, lost in thought.
"What is that? It sounds...kinda sad."
Yuna gave him a questionable look; "It was a lullaby my mother used to sing to me. I think, it was about the story of two lovers."
Yuna locked her gaze at the stars above, totally oblivious to Tidus's eyes on her. Pushing herself down from her position, and swinging her feet down to the little space on the outside edge of the balcony, she balanced herself with her hands before completely letting go. From Tidus's view, it looked as if she was going to fall; he couldn't see the small strip of balcony after the railing.
Acting more from instinct than from anything else, he grabbed her waist gently, supporting her, guiding her body into a safer position. Yuna gasped quietly from the sudden movement of his hands on her bare midriff where her pajama top exposed (Yuna was smart enough to pack a few pairs of clothes for Tidus, herself, and Naomi before going to Clouds').
"Tidus?"
Smiling a little secretly at the thought of Tidus actually caring about her safety –at least it was something- she lifted her legs over the railing so that she was on the balcony properly. Tidus shifted his feet uncomfortably and a faint blush was slightly noticeable from his tanned skin. Yuna, for once, didn't feel so shy anymore. She had to admit, living with him was pretty hard, but she was starting to feel a little more comfortable in his presence, not that she completely felt at ease.
"It's okay to care you know", Yuna started trying to save him from embarrassment by complementing him.
Tidus mumbled something incoherent, and shrugged it off saying something like it was natural instinct, she looked like she was going to fall.
Tidus stared at her with confusion as she stared forward, giggling a little to herself. Oh great, she's gonna make fun of me now, Tidus thought.
"What's so funny?" Tidus questioned the slightest bit of annoyance peeking through his calm voice.
Yuna shook her head as if it wasn't really important but continued anyway. She pointed to the fence beyond the condo's property, wild with shrubs and natural growth.
"I think its kinda funny how nature is always confined, I mean, that fence can't protect us from the city and vice versa. We can always put barriers, but they're always broken down, don't you think? The city...it's bustling, busy and artificial, but yet people still...look for the nature, its as if they can't decide what they want. It was different in Besaid.
"Everything, and everyone was loved and treated with respect", she sighed a little, "Even Squall acted differently there...I still miss those times."
For a moment, Tidus didn't know how to respond. "You've got strange philosophy Yuna. But... I think, I kinda get what you're saying. Everything changes when you move, sometimes even people..."
Changing the subject quickly to shift the dreary mood, he asked, "Don't you think, balancing on the railing like that is dangerous?" He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks just a little as he brought up the subject again, he couldn't even believe how different he was acting with her. After all, she is just some other girl, just his best friend's little sister, right?
Yuna shook her head, almost wearily, "Oh Tidus. Never let fear stop you from reaching for the stars." Twirling around, Yuna giggled joyously. The crescent moon hung in the sky, a beautiful backdrop. Her skin and hair glowed because of the moon's light reflecting off of her, it was almost...ethereal.
For a moment in time, Tidus noticed how pure and innocent this girl was. Innocent in the sense that her dreams maybe, were unrealistic, but she held her own strength, defying all rules, ready to break the boundaries. Still hopeful, its as if her dreams would always live on, he was sure of it. He watched as the starlight made her eyes twinkle beautifully. Looking at her, listening to her logic, it made him slightly envious. It was almost as if she was a city girl, doing everything she was supposed to, but a part of her inside was a free spirit, never to be bound by the constrictions of the modern world.
"It means, do what your heart tells you, no matter what they say. Let your spirit free, don't be scared. Embrace what comes" she continued in a more serious tone.
"My father, he would always tell me that. He said, the sky and the ocean are an endless blue that you could get lost in. Where the sky and the ocean meet – that's where your heart will be."
"I don't know how I remember that, I was so young then, when he died. I suppose, it is because of the note he gave me one day- I still have it. Of course, I couldn't read then, but it was as if he knew it was time for him to go, so he could only pass on that sliver of hope on a little piece of paper. Silly, really."
Tidus was awe-stricken at her words. She always held her head up high, hiding so much. If you looked beyond those blue and green orbs, you could see the little girl that no one noticed the one that was always dreaming, escaping from reality.
"Where the sky and ocean meet, huh? I'm still looking, daddy." Yuna smiled almost bitterly, propping her elbows up.
"Yuna..."
Placing a tentative hand over hers, as if to console her even if she didn't show the pain through her words, he could see it through her eyes. She looked over at him with just the slightest hint of smile, but her expression read 'I'm fine'.
"Sometimes I miss my mom too, ya know? I can't talk to her, I can't see her, I feel...betrayed almost. She left without me really getting the chance to say anything, I wasn't given the chance to feel anger or pain. My dad, its all just work and business with him, he wouldn't give me the time to talk about it, or just express any feelings. I guess...I've mostly forgotten most of those times."
"Memories are just memories, ya know? Its good to reminisce but, that's all they are." Tidus continued, surprised at himself for letting her in on his family issues. He figured it just seemed fair that he said something, after she just told him about hers so freely.
"I disagree. Sure, memories can be painful when you look back. But sometimes..." she took a sharp breath, "sometimes, memories are all you have left to hold on to."
Tidus found himself respectful of her explanation, her logic on a much deeper concern, but surprisingly he felt angry. All his life he was telling himself otherwise, banishing all thoughts from his head so he wouldn't have to go through the same pain. And listening to her at that moment, he felt that her words held truth, she would just make his heart ache for his mother again if he gave in. The truth was, he was still clinging to his memories, desperately.
Shaking his head, trying to maintain calm, he retorted, "A memory is just a selfish endeavor. You're just showing weakness, you want your loved one back, its not going to happen."
Yuna looked over at him, removing her hand from beneath his, noticing the turbulence in his eyes.
"Having a heart, showing you still care – you still remember, is not a sign of weakness", Yuna couldn't help the slight waver in her angered voice. He was opposing all that she believed was true just so he could save his masculinity, showing that he didn't care or need anyone.
Tidus scoffed, amazed at her actions. "You could never see it through my eyes."
Yuna gave him a smug smile, ready to fight for what remained of her philosophy. "You're right, Tidus. But what I can see, is that you're just hiding behind that tough exterior, you don't want anyone in, you don't want anyone to know. You're just trying to block out everything that's upsetting. Well Tidus not everything will have a happy ending."
"Yes, I know for sure now. Obviously I was wrong to think of you as a regular person, with feelings and everything. You're no better than I! You know everything right?! You can't just assume you know everything about me; that you can just pity me for not looking at things the 'right' way. You should start acting more like a regular teenager instead of some queen, because one day, that pedestal you've been held so high on will fall and so will you."
So he's saying I'm some sort of – monster, know-it-all, some type of royalty?! How dare he!? Yuna didn't suppress any anger now, although his venomous words stung her, she wouldn't give him the luxury of showing how hurt she really was. Then again, what did she expect from him?
"I should've known better than to find some good in you, Tidus. You're a lost cause, that's for sure. You should stop acting like that cocky, arrogant, womanizer because life isn't a theatre. Then again, it does suit a person such as yourself. " Yuna couldn't help the deadly tone in her voice, as if she were ashamed for herself for believing and for Tidus, who was just a disappointment.
"I am done with you, I can't stand this anymore. As far as I know, you're nobody to me."
Tidus instantly felt a tinge of pain at his own words, and wondered how she maintained her angered expression – if he had said this to any other girl they would be bawling. He knew she was hurt, just by the look in her eyes, almost as if she didn't expect him to say something so cruel, actually he didn't expect it either. The way the words escaped his lips, they sounded so true, but he knew deep down no matter how angry he was at her, it wasn't true. But Yuna...WHY DID I SAY THAT!?!?
Staring at him through scowling eyes, she swiftly turned around, but made her destination to the door with slow, determined strides. Before turning the knob completely, she turned one last time to look at him, with a calmer expression, as if determining something in her mind. With a knowing look, she looked him straight in the eye, "I don't think I ever was somebody to you, Tidus." The crushed look on her face spoke volumes and Tidus could barely stand to look at her full in the face. He never thought he was capable of hurting someone this much, or actually even caring about it after. Usually incidents like these were just water off his back, but this time, it decided to stick.
Turning to leave, Tidus looked at her retreating back, and sighed. Pride kept him from saying it out loud but he somehow wished she could read his mind, I'm sorry Yuna.
○♥○
"Bye Uncle Cloud." Naomi giggled as Cloud lifted her up in the air, giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Yuna smiled fondly at the sight, happy that Naomi was so easy to bond with, and Cloud so sweet.
"And what about my good-bye kiss?"
Cloud looked directly at Yuna then, smiling cockily. Yuna frowned playfully at his normal playful and flirtatious behavior, and shoved him lightly. Ruffling his hair with her hand, she pushed his hair back only so that it could fall back into its normal wild style. He hated when she did that, but she loved how he would get so annoyed. She thought it was funny he was a guy, and he cared more about his hair than any girl she knew. Going up on her tiptoes, she gave him a peck on the cheek, the most he had ever asked for. Yuna loved how he would stay true to his word, and listen to her. He wasn't like other guys she just wanted to be friends with – they always used that to make advances on her.
Giving her a 2-minute hug, Cloud complained that she was growing up too fast.
"Cloud, I can't stay the little 4-year-old girl forever you know."
"Well, I didn't tell you to go and make a 4-year-old girl Nya!" Cloud joked, whispering so that only Tidus and Yuna could here. Cloud flinched when Yuna stepped forward, raising her hand as if she was going to hit him but chuckled after. If you knew her long enough, you would know to watch your tongue. Tidus just blushed slightly and stuck two fingers in his ears pretending he wasn't listening while making a disgusted face, even though all 3 of them knew he and Yuna hadn't done such a thing. Why was it that he was blushing so often now?
The car ride back home to the mansion was deathly quiet. Yuna and Tidus had no intentions of talking at all, let alone making eye contact. Yuna sat at the back with Naomi, the little girl sometimes felt lonely although they were all in the same car.
"Daddy?"
"Mmm?"
The little girl looked at Yuna first, and then looked forward to the front seat, "Are you and Mommy fighting?"
The couple froze at the question. How was it possible that children no matter how young they may be, can sense the tension?
"No, no! O-of course not" Tidus seemed to sputter out after a moment.
"We love each other, sweetie. And we love you too", Yuna gave her a reassuring smile, although she could sense the uneasiness in his voice as well, they didn't like lying to the child at all. But she had to admit, they were getting better at it now. She figured the lying would stay constant for as long as they had to do this.
Staring out through the window, Yuna tried to make sense of their argument. Why is he so afraid of admitting his feelings? More importantly, why do I have to get stuck with him for everything!? Their fight wasn't just about their different beliefs, it was because of everything that happened. Yuna felt shut down after what he said, it seemed as if they were finally getting along and then her discovery of his true feelings towards her crushed her inside. Maybe he was just playing with her all this time, just pretending to enjoy her company and care about her when she seemed most vulnerable.
Placing her hand on the cool glass, she noticed fresh drops of rain running down the clear glass, making thin trails after them. She frowned a little as the rain started to come down hard, pelting the car fiercely. It was this type of summer rain she hated, it would come down so hard that you couldn't see an inch in front of you. Yuna gasped as she felt the car swerve slightly, making a sharp turn.
"Oh God! Slow down!"
Yuna held the slightly scared Naomi close, and noticed that Tidus was having some difficulty at the wheel. She had to admit he was a pretty experienced driver, and he did drive safely with Naomi in the car, but feeling the car struggle with the slippery road made her shudder. Tidus grunted before making a jerky stop. Running a hand through his blonde hair, Tidus breathed a sigh of relief. Yuna unclasped her seatbelt and leaned near where he was seated, giving him a worried look. Both Yuna and Tidus put their fight on hiatus while they discussed their situation.
"Couldn't go any further. It's coming down too hard, I couldn't see anything."
"Mm. We can stay inside there for a while", Yuna pointed to the hotel, smiling inwardly at the fact that Tidus stopped when she knew he would usually risk it.
Tucking Naomi into the safety of his jacket, Tidus looked up ahead to Yuna's retreating back. Her hair hung damply and curled slightly from the rain, the drops cascading down her face to the camel-coloured sweater she wore and down her brown skirt. Never had he looked at her in such a way, but noticed with disgust that some other guys were.
Yuna tried to ignore the eyes on her body, following her every movement. Oh great! It's him... She recognized the figure instantly – it was Beclem.
Beclem was her assistant at the law office, and also the most annoying person alive. He would always do a sloppy job, and after a while, Yuna felt as if he did it on purpose. I mean even a person with half a brain could work a photocopier, especially when the simple, easy-to-read instructions were written right on it – not to mention there were only 4 steps. If that wasn't bad enough, he would always suck-up to Dona.
He was even worse than Tidus! Spending the rest of her time trying to ignore him, she also had to practically peel him off of her. He was always looking out for a chance to score not that Yuna would even give him the luxury.
Tidus stared at Beclem through squinted eyes. He never liked the guy. He was so wimpy and annoying not to mention his use of cheap pick-up lines. He would always laugh when Beclem tried to pick-up Yuna, and would always end up suffering from a public burn, courtesy of Yuna. But, now Tidus was worried because he and Yuna with a child would make interesting conversation at work. Yuna looked like she could handle it though...
Through the corner of her eye, Yuna could see him approaching and rolled her eyes. So close to the door...damn! Tidus decided to watch from a distance, partly because Yuna was dangerous when she was mad like that, and because Beclem would recognize him if he went any closer.
"So...it's been a while", Beclem started, bringing his arm around her shoulder.
Yuna shoved his arm off violently, and gave him a look that clearly read 'Touch me again, and you're dead'.
"Thankfully."
"Hey, you don't have to be so touchy. Just trying to get to know you" he justified weakly, trying to lure her in with pathetic sweetness. Blocking her entrance to the door with an arm, he smiled smugly.
"Now that we have time to talk," he continued trying to pull her closer to him – thankfully Yuna was fast enough to avoid him, "we can spend some quality time together."
"Hell no! Get away from the door before I kick you where it hurts."
Tidus couldn't help laughing; knowing full well Yuna wasn't scared to do such a thing.
"My, my. We've always been the feisty one haven't we? Did it hurt?"
Knowing he wouldn't move unless she asked, she continued in a jaded tone, "Did what hurt?" I've heard this line sooooo many times, what are the chances it will actually work on me, seriously!
"When you fell from heaven."
Oh God! Why won't he stop?!
Rolling her eyes, and smiling a little to herself for making a fool out of him in public again, Yuna shoved him roughly before responding, "No, but this will." Yuna quickly kicked his shins with a ferocity, it was the most she could do before she really got out of hand, and did some serious damage. People around them started to laugh while Beclem backed off, too embarrassed to try and make a comeback, although the odds were slim to none he could.
Finally inside, Yuna shivered a little from being outside in the cold for so long because of that idiot. Tidus followed behind, trying to conceal his face and the urge to yell out "Loser" before heading in.
The couple stood in front of the lady at the desk, noticing how beautifully decorated the place was and most likely expensive. Before Yuna or Tidus could utter a word there was a gasp from behind them.
"Lenne! Ohmygosh! I haven't seen you in so-o-o long!"
○♥○
A/N: small cliffie, no? Well, I think so anyway. Let me know if you like this, just want to know if you're still reading and if you have any comments. I have so much planned for this story, so hang in there faithful readers. And you all remember Beclem right? In X2, Beclem's Challenge: the Gunner's Gauntlet? I still hate him for that, I can't beat it...
P.S – if you like FFX one-shots, let me know if my new one 'Without My Wings' is ok, tell me what you think.