Disclaimer: same as the others - I don't own a thing except my own fictional characters

A/N: glad to see readers liked the last chapter. Hopefully you can accept the many turns in the story, as this is partly "drama". Thanks a lot for the reviews, I'm writing this for you people to enjoy! I hope you can excuse my absence and the lateness of this chapter, education comes before writing fanfics unfortunately. To:

Past Obsession: thanks sooooo much for the tip! Maybe I can actually beat him for once…and the thing about your cousin, that sucks! I guess beauty comes with a price.

::.Chapter Nine.::

"I have to tell you something T…"

Yuna quieted her sniffling in time to hear him. At his silence, she began to get annoyed. One minute he was trying to damage his wellbeing just to get out of this family, the next he was being the loving brother that she had always known and he wasn't telling her a thing. Now everything was changing against her own will. What more did he want to say? That he was leaving as soon as time allowed? That he wasn't really her brother?

"What? What, Squall!"

Her brother ran the tap and cleaned off the fresh wound on the underside of his arm, mere inches from his wrist. If Yuna were to do something as drastic as taking her own life just to get something out of him…well he wasn't so sure he wanted to tell her the secret he had been keeping nearly all his life. Who knows how she'd react?

Yuna dabbed the tender flesh of her arm with a tissue, and mindlessly started rearranging things on shelves. She was the biggest neat freak around, but this time her actions were a sign of nervousness and fear. Sometimes she just had to do something with her hands to keep busy, otherwise she had no idea what she would do. Clearing his throat uncomfortably Squall tried to look his sister in the eye, but her resistance and stubborn qualities were unfortunately inherited by himself. It made times like these difficult.

"Yuna."

His sister refrained from looking at him but nodded while rummaging through a box, "I'm listening."

Squall was never one to beat around the bush, but something as serious as this was hard to spill out just like that. He watched as she frantically rubbed at a stubborn stain on a place mat.

"Mom…mom's still alive."

He studied her closely, searching her expression for any emotion. Yuna slowed her violent scrubbing and clenched her hand into a fist.

"Damn it Squall, why can't you just put your dishes in the sink like a normal person!?"

Taking the bowl across to the sink she was stopped in her tracks by a furious Squall. Holding her by her shoulders in a fierce grip his eyes were ablaze, "This isn't about the damn bowl Yuna! Didn't you hear me at all!?"

A flurry of glass on the floor went unnoticed as all hell was unleashed. "Don't you think I heard you!? What do you want me to do? What can I do Squall!? What!?" Her voice wavered as she succumbed to shaky tears and trembling movements. Yuna pushed past him to the living room and grabbed a photo off the end table.

She remembered this captured moment as if it was yesterday, and she knew Squall remembered it too. It was when Squall was 7 and Yuna was 5. The picture was a joke really, it started that way, they had taken it by mistake after accidentally fiddling with the camera.

"I want my brother back. I want this brother," she pointed to the picture, "back, Squall. Why did you have to change? Why did we have to live this way! We were happy before."

Squall looked at the picture and inwardly cringed, not because of the mere embarrassment of the moment but because of the pain in Yuna's eyes. She looked like a wounded animal that had been beaten too many times, and kept on getting kicked when she was down so that getting back up was near impossible. Sighing thoughtfully he looked at the picture.

A 5-year-old Yuna clung to her brother's shoulders, hands in his hair, busily creating 'a work of art' with his shaggy brunette strands, her mouth fixed into a pout in concentration. The picture shown movement, Yuna gathering locks of hair into a ponytail, a hair-tie stuck in her mouth with Squall, an expression of annoyance on his features, with just the tiniest hint of a smile. After all, how could he be mad at her, really? His pupils looked upwards to the little girl on his shoulder, watching what she was doing with suspicion, his hair a mess of braids, fluffy ponytails and ribbons.

Squall sighed in aggravation and flung the picture across the room, shattered glass spread around the carpet. The silence of Yuna's desperation and tears choked her so that words wouldn't come out.

"This isn't about me, Yuna! This is about our damn mother!"

"Yes, well since you just so happened to forget to mention about the mother I could've known for, oh let's say, about 14 years of my life, why don't you fill me in!? Anything else to say? Is dad still alive too? Are you just some stranger posing to be my brother? Do we have another brother or sister locked up in a closet somewhere?!" sarcasm dripped from her voice like water drips from a leaky tap. Her anger and fear was consuming her, there was no chance they would just shrug off the fight or laugh about it later like in the past.

Squall shoved her to sit down on the couch. "Listen, Yuna. Mom abandoned us, she left us to die! Dad had just died and she couldn't take it so she left us, she left us Yuna! What kind of person would abandon two young children!? Do you want to live with a person like that?"

Yuna pushed him away, reciprocating. "What if I do, Squall? I never had a mother, and for fourteen years of my life you," she poked him hard in the shoulder, "took that away from me! How can I forgive you for doing that?!"

"That's exactly why I didn't want to tell you! You'll probably do something stupid like go and look for her. Why look for trouble? I gave you a perfect life Yuna, and if it meant protecting you from getting hurt because of a useless parent that was nothing to us, then I was willing to make it work! Why can't you see that?!"

Yuna refused to listen to his words. They weren't true, they couldn't be. If she could just find their mother, then everything would be better again. They could be a big family again, happy and perfect.

Yuna shook her head vigorously, "How do you know mom doesn't still love us? What if she did it so we could have a better life? People change Squall! Maybe she's even looking for us now, everyday of her life she probably thinks about us and searches for us!"

Her brother growled under his breath and clenched his hands into fists, "You just don't get it do you? She abandoned us so that we would die. She didn't want anything to do with us. If you want to find her, then go ahead! Her last name has changed, she has brown hair like us and eyes like yours. If I ever see her it'll be too soon…"

Yuna pouted and scowled at her brother, hating the foul mood both of them had brought upon.

"I was being sarcastic in case you can't tell. If you even dare to go and look for her Yuna, I swear I won't be here the next time you come back" he warned in a deadly tone that Yuna had never heard from him before.

"What are you saying Squall?" Yuna asked trying to mask her fear with anger but, failed miserably.

"If you bother looking for her then don't bother looking for me when I leave, because she'll just abandon you again and I'm not foolish enough to stick around this time and let it happen to me. I saved us both last time, this time you can save yourself."

For a moment, Yuna was completely stunned. Squall was all she had for the longest while, and now he was going to leave if she even tried to find the mother that she so desperately wanted to contact. She hated their mother yes, but when you find out that she was there all along and maybe things could be different, then hope is what you have most and it's stronger than any other feelings. Just the thought of a perfect life and happy family was all she needed to continue, and she would be happy to live with her mom, with or without Squall.

"You can't tell me what to do! If finding mom will break the relationship we had then that's fine. I don't care anymore, I'm old enough to make my own decisions and if you can't deal with it then maybe leaving is the best option."

She could barely believe the words that had just flowed out of her mouth. But shock wasn't present on her face, anger and determination ruled her and there wasn't a person in the world that could change her mind. Squall however, wasn't surprised at her defiance. He knew that look in her eyes, that stupid determination that would only lead to heartbreak. But if that was her decision then things were going to be different.

"If you want to be the fool and search for a love that isn't there, go ahead. But let me just tell you something, we may truly be brother and sister, but we will only remain relatives by blood and name only, so there's the fine print for you. Because as far as I'm concerned right now, I have no sister and never did."

Yuna looked down absently and spotted the broken glass on the floor. Broken glass, broken family, broken heart she thought miserably. Yuna looked up one last time to her brother -now stranger- and flinched slightly at the anger in his eyes. He stood straight and tall, muscular arms crossed at the chest, eyes squinted to show hatred or disappointment, she couldn't tell which. Swallowing thickly to soothe her sore throat, she turned away and headed out, slamming the door behind her.

○♥○

Stirring her tea slowly around with a spoon, Yuna watched as the dregs rose with the movement then fell slowly back down to the bottom of the mug. Green tea was her favorite and at a time like this when the weight of the world was on her shoulders, it calmed her nerves somewhat.

Outside the stars shone bright with a rebelliousness that consumed the sky. If she weren't so upset she would've gone out to feel the breeze on her skin, but too many things were bothering her.

How could she possibly pretend like everything was fine?

Her brother was probably all the way on the other side of the Earth and now she had to deal with about 500 other people that she didn't even know. And maybe she should be nervous because of that…but no she wasn't. It was the fact that she was forced into a situation with Tidus that she couldn't get out of.

Why couldn't love catch her at the right time? She barely knew him and now the thought of renewing their love for each other made her sick with anxiety. Why did Lenne and Shuyin have to disappear? It was so aggravating to live a life that wasn't yours, but she couldn't really do anything about it now could she?

Peering at herself in the mirror, Yuna examined herself for the fiftieth time that night. Her hair was tangled with small diamonds and jewels in a fancy knot at the back of her head, brunette strands peaking from behind their fixed positions. Brown contacts in place, a touch of pink lip color spread across her lips, and a fine (barely visible) dab of silver eye shadow across her eyelids. Diamond tear drops hanging from her ears and draped around her neck richly, finger nails manicured. She looked perfect. Correction: Lenne looked perfect. The only thing that needed to be perfected was that million dollar smile to match the millions of dollars spent on the gown and accessories.

Yuna bent both elbows and propped herself up on the vanity and blinked at her reflection. She spread her lips into a small smile and desperately tried to imitate Lenne's natural elegance. Suddenly frustrated, Yuna frowned. Am I Lenne? Am I Yuna? Who am I anymore…? The smile crashed like a bird with broken wings, she couldn't even maintain a smile anymore.

Sighing dramatically, she shook her head at the mimicking image, "I am so pathetic."

Adjusting the strap of her gown, she glanced at the vanilla colored dress she adorned.

What she liked most about it was the fact that it was simple and elegant while managing to be somewhat fancy.

Two thin straps rested on the sides of each shoulder, a strand of small studs attached to play as a third strap looped below her shoulders with a matching thin shawl draped around her arms. The top half of the dress was beaded with a simple but intricate pattern that she couldn't even describe, and although it dipped a bit too low than she would've preferred, she still loved it. The dress itself was quite long, even with heels on but she managed to walk, albeit slowly and carefully. There was one long slit at the side, shamelessly presenting a slender leg that she would've chosen to keep covered. She adorned a simple silver anklet on her right ankle that jingled with each movement and a baby pink cluster of cherry blossoms was used as a corsage – most likely Lenne's favorite flower.

It was beautiful, the problem was no matter how much make-up they forced on her, or how many jewels she wore, she still didn't feel beautiful.

All that was needed was a simple smile to grace her features but she couldn't find the strength to do it. What is wrong with me?

A click alerted her to the intruder at the door, the intruder that happened to be looking her over, failing miserably to be discreet.

"Uh…I…are you ready?"

Yuna glanced at him and marveled at his formal look. His wavy blond hair was slicked back, and surprisingly he looked quite handsome…well, speaking in general…His fresh cut, jet black, tuxedo, was classy and screamed lots of money. A creamy white dress shirt identical to her gown's material was visible under the jacket. An identical cherry blossom corsage was attached to his suit –maybe cherry blossoms had some type of significance with the lovers– and a slight, masculine musk was evident in the air around him.

"Um…y-yes. I guess…"

Tidus stayed at the door, fidgeting with the hem of his cuff uncomfortably, Yuna looking down at the floor. Why was everything so awkward now? Should she be friendly to him, ignore him, or pretend like everything was normal? Clearing her throat, she smoothed down the bottom part of her gown and walked forwards while lifting it up. Thinking about it now, it was somewhat strange. She always thought balls were held with rich, sterile people with poofy gowns and precision-cut suits. But apparently, not everything was like in the movies.

"Don't worry."

Yuna looked up at him for a moment and smiled mischievously, "I'm not worried."

"Okay…" his sarcasm almost drowned her, but the sudden lift in his voice changed her somber mood, "nice blush by the way."

What? I didn't put any on…Oh!

Tidus winked playfully at her, and she shoved him to the side. He had officially made her blush just about ten times already and now he was embarrassing her! It was obviously an attempt to get the worry off her shoulders, and surprisingly, it was working. Hmm, so he was taking the friendly-everything's-normal route. Maybe she would have to take a combination of different personalities.

"Actually…hold on for a sec. I-I want to see something."

Tidus watched her form disappear a little off into the distance, and looked at her in awe. There were so many things about her, so much he didn't know, so much that he figured her beauty was her mystery.

She was…everything that he didn't know and nothing less than completely mystifying. It was the way that the moonlight was burning a glow into her smooth skin, the breeze ruffling her hair, the silky sheen of her gown trailing behind her creating a tender shine, the way she made everything in the world look so perfect. How was that even possible?

That was the point, Yuna could make anything possible effortlessly. It must've been how he would always see her talking but never actually hear what she said, it was just being near her to find the most perfect place in existence. And yet…he couldn't explain it himself. Did she know how perfect her image melted into his memory every single day? Did she even care?

Up until this point, Tidus had never believed in withholding a long relationship, he hadn't really believed in love. After all, his parents weren't exactly the best example of a perfect marriage. But, he still couldn't shake these strange feelings he was having for the most unlikely of people, Yuna.

Walking up to her as quietly as he could, Tidus slinked his way to her side. He just wished he could see her beautiful eyes, the way they would glimmer and reflect the intense scenery below and above them. Green and blue, who knew someone with mismatched eyes could get him to misplace his senses everytime she was near? Did she realize that her mismatched eyes were the perfect flaw in his midnight blues?

How did this happen to him of all people? Love…Was that what it really was? He didn't want to admit it, and maybe he never would, but love was the only explanation. Was it really strong enough to draw her to him, to compel and withdraw his feelings from a safe locked away from his reach ever since his mother left? Whatever this force was, it was leading him astray. Yuna was confusing him terribly. What exactly did she want? Could she see what it was doing to him at all? Something was keeping them apart, fear and denial, or even possibly just mixed up emotions. Maybe it was just the fact that he was forced into this strange situation with her as husband and wife that he thought he loved her. But even then…

Setting his gaze on the tender darkness in front of them he let his mind wander.

Yuna licked her lips and traced the sky with her own visions and dreams. She could paint the sky with her memories if she wanted to…But right now, that would mean gray and black. That was how she felt inside. Hollow and dreary, and God help us all if the weather was determined on her feelings, because it would be miserable and rainy everyday, with the slightest bit of weak sunlight peaking behind darkened clouds. If it were up to her, fireballs would fall from the sky, the anger in herself could barely be contained.

Setting her gaze on a bright star she willed it to burn out, just like her hope. How would it feel if she could shut off the sun, drown the ocean itself with her tears, and burn every fire with the fury in her eyes? Betrayal was darkness, and Yuna had just been introduced to it. Could she find the flame of hope in the darkness?

How much of an Emera am I? How much of a Leonhart am I? Probably none now, I'm probably no one now. Does it matter anymore?

Yuna sighed softly to herself, no matter how many questions she asked she could never find the answer.

"Yuna, do you know about love?"

His voice breaks the uneasy silence.

Love. Love? What do I know anymore…?

Yuna looked at him noticing the distant look in his eyes, like he was searching beyond the stars, beyond the darkness. Maybe I should look beyond the darkness as well…But maybe all I'll find is my bleeding heart, and a few shards of me.

"I know about pain."

He swallows and furrows his brows, deep in thought.

"Pain goes away."

Is he right? No, he can't be. If pain went away, I wouldn't be feeling this way amymore, I wouldn't have had to carry all those feelings with me since I was little, ever since I've been lost.

"So does love" Yuna argued back.

Tidus set his blue eyes on her and moved his hand closer to hers that was resting on the railing, while turning around.

"No, it doesn't. Not if it's true. If it's true, it'll never go away, it will remain…always."

Yuna couldn't help but raise a brow at this. Since when was she being the cynical one, not accepting what was brought to her? Then again this was new, dreary, black, hollow Yuna.

"How do you know?" she questioned, looking at him skeptically.

"Because I…" Tidus rushed the first two words out, and lost all thought as he looked at her. Faltering, he shook his head, "Let's go."

The couple headed down the red velvet carpet of the stairs leading down to the ballroom. It was now or never, and if it were up to her, she would've chosen never. Tidus visibly gulped and took the risk of placing his hand on her back, holding her in an invisible loose embrace that tied them together. Is this what Shuyin would've done? He sure hoped so, because Yuna was doing pretty well as Lenne, and acting was never one of his best subjects.

Yuna hesitantly glanced in his direction and noticed the nervousness spread across his features as well, just before they were greeted by the pairs of eyes watching their every move.

A sudden burst of applause ripped through the once quiet atmosphere where only silent chatter was evident before. Yuna plastered a faint smile on her face, and chuckled nervously at the amount of people gathered in front of them only to celebrate the couple's love for each other. If she didn't get father away from them soon, she would have an anxiety attack. Most people didn't know this, but she was clausterphobic and the millions of people gathered around them, saying things that didn't even matter, didn't help her at all.

A flash of gold caught her eye again, and her eyes connected with grey-ish blue ones. What was that woman's last name again? Sirena, Selena? Sierra, that was it. The dinner party flashed back in the deepest recesses of her memory. Something about her seemed different than the others, like someone she had seen before. The woman flashed Yuna an encouraging smile and seemed to study the couple's every movement. Yuna couldn't move her gaze away from her and didn't think to smile as her brows furrowed in concentration, she was fixated on something the woman was wearing.

At Yuna's lack of discretion, Mrs. Sierra managed to fix her gaze on what Yuna was looking at and tucked it away from view, smiling…nervously? But why? And was it a gold chain? A pendant…

"How do you like your surprise Lennie?"

Both Yuna and Tidus jumped a bit as Rikku's small form magically appeared in their path.

"Oh! Well, I-it's certainly a surprise…" Tidus managed to stutter at Yuna's blank expression and lack of concentration.

Microphone feedback was heard somewhere in front of them, and Mrs. Anizan's voice was heard over the speakers, beckoning the couple to proceed to the stage up ahead. Now everyone's attention was fixated on the two lovebirds making their way up while the two exchanged exasperated looks. How much worse could this get, really?

And then the speech began…

"Now Shuyin dear, you know how much you mean to me and the family. Every time we look at you we see that little 6-year-old boy that put his left shoe on his right foot, and right shoe on the left foot. At a moment in time, you never wanted to leave my side, but now…"she smiled at Yuna who was trying her best not to laugh and gush at the cuter side of the speech, "…that all changed when he met Lenne…the only woman that could take my Shuyin away from me, the one that he loves more than life itself."

Tidus blushed madly at the sudden leak of information even though it wasn't actually him living through all that. He hadn't expected this at all.

"When I look at you now…I can't find the little boy anymore, I only see the dashing young man you've grown into. And now, he's in love…it reminds me that you've grown too fast, but knowing that Lenne is by your side, I wouldn't want it any other way."

The whole crowd gushed and "ooh"ed and "ah"ed over the heartfelt speech, leaving a very embarrassed Tidus and Yuna.

Mrs. Anizan gestured for Yuna to come forward away from Tidus's side, she had unconsciously looped her hands around his arm in the excitement. Maybe it was just the feeling of having someone close to home beside her that she wanted to cling to him like a toddler to their mother.

Yuna lifted the material of her gown and tried her best not to face the crowd, it would only make her even more nervous to see all the expectant eyes on her.

"Dear, you're the only one that can make my Shuyin feel the way he does. And I'm happy for it. Why don't you play that song that he loves to remind us of the love you share?"

She hoped somehow she could throw herself into traffic right now. Did that mean she would have to play a song for the husband that was really just her rival at work, and confess a false love for him?! Tidus's look of shock was nothing compared to her fear. But the weight was on her now, she couldn't back out of it and he couldn't help her.

"Uh…I-I don't think I could…I mean, I'm a little rusty."

As she thought, the weak attempt of an excuse didn't work, and Mrs. Anizan only ushered Yuna to the grand piano. Sitting down hesitantly on the piano bench, she peered at the crowd in front of them, searching for a face she knew. She spotted Gippal, at least that was someone. He smiled at her genuinely and gave her a faint nod, showing his approval. Smiling faintly Yuna turned to Rikku who was in the midst of stuffing a shrimp in her mouth. Rikku gave her the thumbs up and just as she was about to at least give the music sheets in front of her a glance, she spotted someone she knew all to well: Dona. What was she doing here, and why did she have that stupid look of amusement on her face?

Someone cleared their throat and Yuna turned to see cellist asking with his eyes if she was ready. Blindly nodding she listened as the strumming of strings and the ever so quiet and smooth notes of the flute floated over to her. Luckily, she had a well trained ear. She'd been playing the piano ever since she could remember, and all she needed was to hear a song once or twice fully on the radio and she could play it like an expert on the instrument of her choice.

But the shock hit her like a ton of bricks, it was the same song she was humming that night on the balcony. How did Shuyin know of this? She listened as the flute notes' sprung to a G sharp and the cello's steady strumming succumbed to wispy half notes and tender quarter notes. That was her cue to begin.

Letting her fingers tap the rhythm, flowing with its own magic, it was just her and the music. There wasn't anyone else in the room, it was just her and the piano, her hands automatically moving to their correct positions, letting the sound trail from her essence.

For the longest time, she wanted to forget, she wanted to remember, she wanted to disappear. Right now, she felt like she was fading away, and no one could get her out of the void.

Slowly as her hands began to tremble she crashed hard on the keys, spitefully ignoring the piantissimo on the music sheet. The anger she'd held in for so long was letting her break free and yet, the song never once changed. They didn't know what it meant to her, it made her angry, it made her nervous but most of all it made her scared.

They didn't know what it meant, none of them.

No one had to know, it was her secret, but they were all hearing it. They were watching her with intense eyes, watching her break loose, fall, crumble and rise again and yet, they had no clue at all. Slowly as the fiddles, flutes and cello quivered to low trembles, she felt her heart beat pound rebelliously, making a beat all it's own. She hated this song, yet she loved it. But she loathed the end, it meant it was the end for her, it meant she had to give in and crumble like every other time. How could the song twirl with happiness letting her dance with the possibility and then weaken near the end, destroying the power, making it hopeless and sad? Making her hopeless and sad…

Pressing the last two ivory keys, she let the sound echo and crash and watched as her hot tears traveled down, one daring to spill over the black key while the other dripped just below it. No one saw the two tears slipping to form one as Yuna untied the straps around her ankles, holding the shoes in one hand, and jumped down the last three steps of the stage, running to the nearest exit.

○♥○

A/N: okay, this was long and only emotional things happened. But it had to be done. I'm currently writing the next chapter but it will probably be a long time before I actually submit it. This is only part 1 of the ball chapters though…I think. It depends on how the rest flows, I'll decide later. Anyway, tell me whatcha think and give me some comments, no flamers though. Preview's extra long for your patience ;)

Preview: I watched my reflection in the still pond, curling my toes at the harsh chill in the air. My hot tears warm the water, breaking the clear mirror, shattering my reflection. I'm breaking through myself, tearing Lenne away from me. This is me, Yuna, exposed and forgotten to the world.

The gauzy, luminescent material of my gown's shawl drifts freely in the water flowing among the reeds. Is this what it must be like to shed part of someone else from you?

"My, my."

"Dona, this isn't the time" he barks at her protectively.

Do they all think I'm ready to crumble?

"No Tidus. What is it Dona? You have yet to explain anything. What is this case about really?" I retort, pure annoyance dripping from my tone.

"Oh…you didn't know? This is a murder case."

Is this what it's like to see a phoenix flutter and fall?