Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: long wait I know, and I'm not sure if it'll satisfy you, but I tried…and believe me it's hard when the only time I can write is for 30 minutes on the weekend. I just hope you don't absolutely hate it. Read on.

:.Chapter Ten.: Dusk

Welcoming the sounds of a peaceful night, Yuna surrendered herself to her true emotions that were welling up inside of her for the longest while. Running to the calm quiet of the darkness she felt the wind shift to embrace her with cold hands. Haphazardly, pulling out the strands of beaded jewelry from her hair, and hiking up her gown roughly she ran blindly, letting her senses guide her to nowhere. How many times had she been abandoned? Ignored? Confused? These things had happened too many times in her life, she couldn't take it anymore.

She stopped abruptly at a clearing, a piece of field dedicated to a summer's eve garden right behind the banquet hall.

What had she gotten herself into? It seemed the more she tried to keep things normal, the more her own problems got in the way. Peering up at the sky she wondered how long this charade would last. When could she start picking up the pieces of her broken life?

"Yuna."

The brunette turned to face the disruption with cloudy eyes. Everything was like a dream from that moment on that rainy day, and she was stuck in it. This wasn't real, it couldn't be.

Yuna turned around to face the crystalline water reflecting the immense scenery around them, trying to distract her foolish feelings. Her body was telling her something she didn't want to face, and exhaustion was telling her that was probably the reason.

He trailed his warm fingers lightly against her skin as he passed by, stopping to stand by her side. Her body stung with a burning pleasure where he had touched her, sending tingling warmth throughout her body, allowing her to feel something between embarrassment and the shock of finding comfort in a simple touch. A small gasp wormed its way out of her mouth. What was wrong with her?

Hugging herself, she tried to avoid his questioning eyes on her making it seem like she was recoiling from his touch. In all truth, she could never be that cold. But maybe that was how she needed to be…strength is a way of keeping everything in, even when it threatens to drown you from the inside.

She was doing the right thing. All her life, she'd learned to draw her arms around herself instead of finding the warmth in someone else's. Who would be there to do that anyway? Squall firmly believed in dealing with his own problems by himself, solitude was the key. That thin barrier she had built for herself was rapidly deteriorating, but there are still time for repairs…

"Yuna wh-"

"I'm fine" she cut in softly, veering away slightly from his venturing hand. She didn't want pity, she didn't need it. What she needed was for everyone to just forget about her, to stop worrying. She was a big girl now, she could deal with her own problems.

She kept her eyes on the grass, watching as the dew dripped from the leaves of trees and the sloping curves of flower petals. She didn't want to look at him, or lock eyes with him. His eyes were always filled with questions she didn't want to answer.

"What are you doing up so late? And on the railing?" he questioned, as they both looked beyond the fence separating the confined space behind the condo.

'You don't know Tidus. You'll never understand. Everytime I look out at the stars I remember everything I tried so hard to forget. I remember the things I was once too young to understand. Dad. I remember one night, he was praying…praying so that God would take the pain away. I didn't know he wouldn't come back from the hospital that last visit. I didn't know. Why do I rest on the railing? I can't deal Tidus I can't. Every time I'm up there I think I'm on that balance, that thin line between life and death. I'm just waiting…waiting for that line to snap.'

"I could ask you the same thing", Yuna said, tilting her head slightly, ignoring his second question. Looking at the stars she continued, deciding not to complicate things by leaving them in an uncomfortable silence. "I couldn't sleep. Too many things on my mind."

'I remember, I was worried that night. When you're accustomed to ignoring the feelings you have, it scares you to know that they never really disappeared and will never leave. What do you do when your heart wants something it shouldn't need?'

"Sometimes…it's best to remember, to live on past memories. Maybe…the new things will fall into place when the old keeps coming back to visit. Let it happen."

Yuna turned to look at him, amazed by his words. How could he read her so clearly? That was what she hated the most. No matter how far she distanced herself from him, he would always close the space between them and see something she couldn't herself. He made her want to give up her act for once, and take the risk of seeing the true Yuna behind it. But…she didn't want that.

She tasted the saltiness of a stray tear that wandered its way to her lips, contemplating, letting the sadness seep through her as if it were a daily routine. She drew a shaky breath as she pretended not to notice his hand creeping around her waist in an innocent manner. He was so warm to the touch, she couldn't help but automatically lean into his welcoming comfort. For that instant she didn't care, he could take her wherever he wanted to take her. Another fantasy, another dream, another possibility…somehow he made it all an option.

She laughed bitterly, "Sometimes, people who remember feel like throwing themselves off a cliff."

Tidus looked at her and was disappointed to notice she was completely serious, her expression hidden because her head was ducked in sadness, but he could just tell. Studying her petite form he decided for the last time, he would finally get the nerve to listen to his heart.

There were just too many things about her that made her even more enticing, it was like chasing after something you knew you couldn't have, yet it only made him hungrier for her taste. That strange feeling he always got when he was around her, that intense heat burning in his body, his veins pumping with an undeniable force, it was taking over him again.

He looked at her carefully, watching as a few more crystal drops traveled down, creating nearly invisible rivets streaking down her face. He swallowed in anxiety as the drop caught at the edge of her lips, sliding down slowly over the gentle slopes of her pink lips. He just wanted to kiss her so badly, to take away all the tears. He wanted to be the one to do that.

"I would never let my girl do that."

Tidus pressed his lips lightly against the side of her cheek, whispering those words into her ear.

Yuna frowned in consideration. What was he saying?

"If you want to be the fool and search for a love that isn't there, go ahead. But let me just tell you something, we may truly be brother and sister, but we will only remain relatives by blood and name only, so there's the fine print for you. Because as far as I'm concerned right now, I have no sister and never did."

'No Yuna. Don't get close, he'll just abandon you like everyone else. When you give in, nothing is left after they're done. I can't keep fixing what was broken.'

Taking a few tentative steps back, Yuna let go of his gentle grasp on her hand. She was always pulling away, always. For once, she wanted to just crawl up into the arms of someone else. But no, she couldn't. Too many things were stopping her. Lenne, for one.

Tearing off the gauzy material of the shawl, she let the breeze carry it wherever it pleased. Is this what it might be like to shed part of someone else from you? She just wished things were that easy.

She heard the click-click of heels on stone before she saw Dona. Her expression was almost a sneer, like five steps toward her was an early birthday present.

"My, my."

Yuna frowned and folded her arms over her chest. Maybe if I concentrate really hard on Dona, she'll disappear into a cloud of purple smoke and heavy-smelling perfume.

"Dona, this isn't the time" Tidus barks at her protectively.

Damn, it didn't work. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Yuna managed a tiny smile. But the deadly look on Tidus's face made her wonder…Do they all think I'm ready to crumble?

. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Yuna managed a tiny smile. But the deadly look on Tidus's face made her wonder…

"No Tidus. What is it Dona? You have yet to explain anything. What is this case about really?"

"Oh…you didn't know? This is a murder case."

The pure innocence on her face, disgusts us both, but scares me somewhat. She's telling the truth.

"Wait, what—"

Dona looks at them with a mixture of pity and humor. If they didn't know already, what have the Anizans' been telling them,she thought.Turning to walk away, she left them to stew in the newfound information.

Okay, if I'm not mistaken, and my memory and knowledge of this trade proves my theory correct, a murder case means…someone was killed…an unfinished trial, disappearances of two key persons…they didn't tell us everything did they? That means something else happened before we got here…someone's just waiting to finish off the job, Tidus speculated.

○♥○

A lone figure stood watching the whole thing from his perch somewhere off in the distance. So far, yet close enough to see his love. The only thing his eyes were trained for. She was right where he wanted her to be, alone so he could finally make his move.

He just wanted to be able to taste the sweet words he had been longing to say again, to revel in her warmth, say her name once more…

○♥○

Is she alright?

What happened?

Is she still breathing?

Someone get help…

"Lenne? Lenne, are you okay?"

Yuna opened her eyes, squinting at the light coming from somewhere to the side. Her vision was blurry, but she could make out some blonde and a familiar masculine voice.

Turning over to her side, she snuggled deeper into the sheets, pulling the blankets closer to her skin. Despite the confusion of the echoing voices in her head, that was the best night of sleep she had had in a while. She felt a warm hand cup the side of her face, innocently trailing to her neck to rest there. Opening her eyes slowly, she adjusted herself to the light.

"Glad to see you're finally up."

Yuna found herself leaning into his touch, his voice warmly resonating in her ears. She lifted a hand to reciprocate his caring actions just moments ago, and realized the clear sapphire eyes she had originally thought were looking down at her, were changing into forest green swirls as she focused her vision more accurately. Dropping her raised hand to her lap she brought a shaky hand to her forehead trying to ease the dull ache in her head, ineffectually.

"Gippal?"

She saw his crooked grin dissolve into worry as he moved the hand on her neck to the spot right under her chin.

"You're burning up. Good thing we got you home as soon as we could."

Ok, now he was really confusing her.

"Why? What happened?"

His brows furrowed creating light creases in his forehead, Yuna familiarized the action with Squall's usual expression.

She watched as he leaned over to get a moist cloth for her head, and pain relievers for soreness and an ache she mysteriously acquired. Maybe that was her first clue to whatever happened the other day, or week…she had no idea what the time was.

"That's not important now" he finally answered.

"What do you mean? This is ridiculous! I just woke up without a clue, I don't even know what day it is and I don't know of anything that apparently happened to me. You can't possibly tell me that it's not important!" she was fully awake now. She wasn't usually the type of person to huff and throw a tantrum when she was confused, but she wanted answers.

He looked at her with pity and pure anxiety, debating with himself if he should tell her or not. Surely, she must've guessed. This wasn't anything new to her, it had happened a couple of times already.

"I warned you…I told you so many times before Lenne. You should've listened…" he trailed off, expecting her to recite the little speech she always gave him at the point in the conversation, but lifted a brow when she didn't.

"What are you talking about?"

Yuna shifted so that she could face him properly, momentarily forgetting that she was Lenne. It was only then that she realized she was only in an oversized green t-shirt. Shifting her gaze momentarily, she noticed she was in the guest bed at the mansion, a small bedside lamp was dimmed low, and through the window she could see the moon reflecting light, creating suspicious shadows from the branches of trees. Turning her attention back to him, she noticed his hair was a little ruffled and wet from most likely the rain, the lamp's light was creating a soft glow on his tanned skin giving her the illusion that they were back at Besaid. His golden blond hair was reflecting speckles of gold and yellow on his skin with the tender light. He looked so warm, so gentle, so welcoming.

Gippal lifted a finger to trace the length of her jaw, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Yuna felt the slightest urge to stop him, but the feeling wasn't strong enough to sway her. His eyes landed on her moist lips, surveying her face, determining something in his head.

"Gees, what did he do to you?" he questioned softly, knowing full well that she had no idea.

"Gippal I…"

His thumb traced across her moving lips, willing the words to change and twist to his liking. She was going to say she was married that they could stay friends, that she couldn't do this. This time she didn't.

Yuna secretly held something for him, but it wasn't until now she realized how good-natured he was. He was compassionate, tender and loving…something she was desperately lacking from the others in her life. He was the one person that didn't need to be pushed away, he knew his boundaries, and yet, she found herself wishing he just dared to the step across that line, because this time she had nothing stopping her. He didn't know her, he couldn't search for her secrets, and it didn't matter. That was why she let him lean a bit closer.

She completely melted against his chest, just hoping he wouldn't back away…that he would just stay with her. She needed something solid in her life, someone that was always there, and right now Gippal was all she wanted. He tenderly pressed a hand to the small of her back supporting her before he ducked lower, the other hand lightly brushing against her skin, guiding her into a gentle kiss to her lips. He let his lips rest on hers, unmoving, unsure if he was really making a big mistake. When he felt her arms carefully loop around his shoulders, he knew she wanted this too. If they were allowed only this one moment together, he wanted it to be perfect.

Yuna could feel him moving at a slow pace, tender and soft like a whisper on her skin. Until now, she wasn't sure what she wanted…

He slowly added pressure, lightly pleading with her, telling her it was all right. Taking in her lips' gentle curves with his own, he memorized her taste, relieving her problems and taking away all the hurt. He was her escape, her easy getaway and now she was taking it willfully. She sighed happily, letting him gently tug at her lower lip. That was when she knew for sure, it didn't matter anymore…none of it.

Blue eyes turned away, not bothering to look back at them. He knew what he wanted but he waited too late. She already belonged to someone else, and that was when he knew…he knew he had lost her.

○♥○

A/N: tell me what you think, I strongly suggest you have a deal of patience with me…writing this is getting harder. I'll see what I can do if there's anything in here you absolutely cannot stand or don't understand, just let me know. I'll smooth things over next chapter, so don't ask me to justify things yet.

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> words in italics within the summary/recap are proofs from the actual story.

Chapter Ten: summary/recap

what's up with Yuna: finding herself still weakened by the thought of the argument between her and Squall, Yuna is still upset when she and Tidus arrive at the ball. Although she is emotionally strained from the thoughts that linger within her, she pushes herself to go along with Tidus, maintaining the charade of being 'Lenne' and 'Shuyin'. But, when she is forced to play the very same song that ironically mimics the ups and downs of her own life, she is forced to surrender to her feelings.Now, Yuna's acting like a bit of a pre-Madonna, don't you think? She runs out on the last notes of the song, and cries her heart out all alone, outside. Not for long though, our little heartthrob Tidus is there to comfort her…

She was doing the right thing. All her life, she'd learned to draw her arms around herself instead of finding the warmth in someone else's.

…Although she won't accept the fact that she may need that consolation at all. She refuses to be lured into his trap. As he whispers words of love and care (as subtly as he can of course), her mind is lightning-fast, counteracting each positive thing he says to the negative from her own experiences.

Yuna isn't completely drowned in her own misery though. When Dona arrives to crash her and Tidus's little moment, she is angered. That is soon replaced with intrigue as Dona finally reveals their purpose in being in the Anizan household. Tidus and Yuna are there for a murder case…and although lawyers are there to defend persons, they must do a little investigating as well. And Yuna is the one to get very personal with someone else later on…

But, we'll get to that later…

What's up with Tidus: even though the pseudo-relationship he has with Yuna causes them to argue more than what is healthy, he has feelings (to his horror) for his arch-nemesis. These feelings lead him right out the door with the crying brunette, hoping to console her and be the one to protect her when in this vulnerable state, although he has no idea why she is so upset. Aren't we clueless? He doesn't understand why she resists him…he has never had that problem with other girls. It seems, with Yuna he goes one step forward, and she takes two steps back. Maybe they will never find a balance between them.

Anyway, after hearing Dona's startling info, he speculates for himself about what this could mean. Up until now, it had never occurred to him that the Anizans were harboring a deep secret. Seems that they are…

What's up with Yuna: okay, the scene changes. Yuna is waking up hesitantly to the voice of a certain blond. She opens her eyes. Okay, this isn't the blond we expected. It's Gippal, and apparently he is taking care of her. She suddenly realizes that the echoes in her head weren't part of a dream, but possibly something real, something that happened before. Unfortunately, memories elude her, and Gippal isn't answering her questions. This makes her angry.

She does manage to leak some information from him though, but it confuses her further. He insinuated that someone else has harmed her, and that it has happened to her/Lenne more than once which means, he has been the one to look after her every time this happened.

Every other feeling that she could ever have possibly harbored subsides and is replaced with a deep longing. All the grief from the Squall situation, her confusing feelings toward Tidus and the trouble with the case, causes her to make a big mistake. She kisses Gippal in that one moment where the grief and longing consumes her. She wants someone just for that one moment to be there for her, and in that time, it was Gippal. And Gippal…well, it seems that he has some feelings for Lenne, and Yuna/Lenne is vulnerable emotionally and seems to want this very same thing with him. So both of them have enough reason to give into the urge, but both for different reasons. Isn't that coincidental?

What's up with Tidus: I didn't say much about him after Yuna wakes up, but he's around. I wanted to make it seem as if he was distressed and confused. I also wanted you guys to make the assumption that because Tidus is upset about Yuna, that his feelings made him weaker and possibly even vulnerable to hurt, he is in the sidelines instead of where Gippal is right now. How well did that work out, huh? Think about it though, Tidus previously was pushed away each time he tried to comfort Yuna (after the ball) and may therefore, feel inadequate to be the one to take care of her afterwards. That's my fault for not explaining that, but here it is now!

How it all wraps up: Tidus approaches her door, possibly to finally see how she was doing, and gets a much different view of what he expected. The poor guy's heart is broken. He is so defeated at this one point in time, that he just turns away. At this period in time, Tidus has just forfeited any possible chance with Yuna again… And it is safe to say right now that Tidus does have half of his father's genes, which leads to the assumption that Tidus will change lanes and concentrate his attention on something that will possibly destroy what fragile bond he had left with Yuna.

As for Yuna, she greedily takes the comfort in knowing she can have this for a moment before looking at the consequences. This is a major relapse in her judgement, but, when it seems as if she had lost everyone important to her, what else could she possibly risk by doing this?

She never did see her last chance at love walking out the door…

Hmm…

On to Chapter Eleven -->