To my readers: Once again, thanks for tuning in.
Darklight: I'm going to have Illyria do what I think she'd do in the situation given. Based on how she acted on 'Angel', I think my choice for her is a valid action. Hope you'll like it.
On to Chapter XIV of 'Urbs Spei'. Enjoy...
"Shall I come in, or do you intend to keep me out in the rain?" Illyria asked.
"That depends," Buffy said. "Are you friend or foe?"
"I am beyond your petty designations," she responded brusquely.
Buffy just looked at her quizzically.
"However, I do not wish you and your people harm."
"Alright," Buffy said, "come in." She kept both eyes on the figure. If this was a trap of some sort, she wanted to be ready.
As Illyria stepped in, Willow got a closer look at her and immediately recognized the woman. "Fred?"
"What?" Buffy asked, somewhat confused.
"Is that you?"
"Wait," Buffy said. "Willow, what are you talking about?"
"She looks like Fred, from Angel's crew."
"You mean my shell," Illyria replied.
"Your… shell?" said Buffy.
"Yes, the one I inhabit; the one you call Winifred Burkle."
"So… what happened to Fred?" Buffy asked.
Illyria just looked at Buffy for a moment and said, "She is gone." Though no one noticed it, Giles became a bit flustered at the comment.
"How?" Buffy asked, having a feeling deep down inside that she wasn't going to like the answer.
"I overtook her body and she ceased to exist."
The Slayer stared at the woman and said, "Okay, when I said 'friend or foe', I meant 'friend' as in those who don't go around invading peoples' bodies and killing them! Explain to me why I shouldn't toss you out right now."
"Wait," Willow interjected, "you know about what went down in LA, don't you?"
"Yes," Illyria replied.
"You just bought yourself some time," Buffy said. "We've been trying to figure out what happened out there."
Illyria walked into the lobby of the building sat down on the couch. Giles went to the kitchen and fetched a cup of tea for their guest; that was the polite gesture. He didn't know, however, if she would take it or even require it. Mostly, he went to get it to be out of the room with her for even a fraction of a moment. He knew about Illyria's existence when Angel called for Willow's help. Aside from her being on the astral plane at the time, he had adamantly refused to help them. It wasn't that he hated them; he just thought that if Wolfram & Hart were baiting him and the Slayers at a moment when Amy required their attention, the consequences could have been dire. But the fact that he didn't help them wasn't the biggest problem. What was the biggest issue was that he had conveniently 'neglected' to mention the call to anyone else. He went back into the lobby and gave the cup to their new guest, who eyed it curiously in her hand.
"So tell us: what happened in LA?" Buffy asked.
"Angel confronted the Wolf, Ram, & Hart," she replied.
"Details, Illyria," Buffy said. "I want details."
Illyria looked at Giles in curiosity. "You mannerisms are familiar."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"And you sound like him as well," she continued.
"Who?"
"Wesley," Illyria replied. "Who are you?"
Giles paused and took a deep breath, his tank helping him. His breathing became slightly accelerated. "Rupert Giles."
"Giles?" she said. "Yes, Wesley spoke to me of you. He said you were trained as a Watcher as well."
"Yes, I was."
"He also told me that he understood your reluctance to help my shell and that he did not blame you for her death."
"Giles, what is she talking about?" Buffy asked.
Giles looked at Illyria; his breathing elevated even more. He knew what was going to come out and knew some wouldn't take his actions quite well. "Angel… called a few months ago, asking for Willow's help."
"What?" Willow said.
"Ms. Burkle had been infected by an entity and was being killed by it," Giles reluctantly elaborated. "Angel was hoping to solicit Willow's help in trying to restore her soul."
"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Willow asked, clearly angry with him.
"You were on the astral plane at the time," Giles replied. "In any event, I refused to help them, because they were still at Wolfram & Hart."
"Giles, we know these people," Willow said in their defense. "I mean, yes, working for Wolfram & Hart brings up trust issues, but they came to us for help. I can't believe you'd do that to them"
"You didn't tell anyone about this?" Buffy asked.
"Because I didn't know if Wolfram & Hart were baiting us into a trap. With everything going on now, I didn't want to take the risk that we were being deceived."
Willow could barely say anymore. The anger was apparent on her face. She was more than upset with Giles for what he did, especially to Fred. The young scientist was so nice and Willow felt she deserved better than what she got, especially by people who made it their business to help those in trouble.
Buffy took note of everything and decided to continue on. Though she was unhappy with Giles' choice of action, she nevertheless felt that it could be addressed later. "Illyria," she said, "tell us what happened in LA."
"Very well. Weeks ago, Angel had been behaving quite erratically. I took little interest in it but his subordinates did. He had acquiesced to the desires of many of the Wolf, Ram, & Hart's patrons. It was believed he no longer cared fighting for the so-called 'good'. His people confronted him. It was then that they learned his behavior was all a ruse."
"A ruse?" Buffy asked.
"Angel had infiltrated the Circle of the Black Thorn, agents of the Senior Partners. He had gained their confidence and planned to destroy them. He requested help in doing so. I was attacked by the Wolf, Ram, & Hart's minion and offered my assistance in obliterating the Circle."
"What happened after that?" Willow asked.
"We were all given our assignments and told to gather in an alley when we completed them. Most arrived; some did not… like my Qwa'Ha'Xahn." The statement fell from Illyria's lips in sorrow.
"Your who?" Buffy asked.
"My Qwa'Ha'Xahn, my guide: Wesley."
"What?" Giles said.
"He died in my arms," she continued sadly.
There was a stunned silence among the group who knew the man, especially from Willow and Giles. Willow herself was on the verge of tears.
"Angel knew the Senior Partners would bring their wrath upon us," Illyria continued. "We gathered in the alley to face their hordes: myself, Angel, the dark one called Gunn, and the silver-haired one called Spike."
"Spike?" Buffy said, astonished.
"Yes. He joined in our fight."
"Spike!" she yelled out. Brushing aside the revelation of Spike's return, Buffy gathered herself and merely said, "I'm sorry… continue."
"The hordes came and we fought valiantly. My hands brought death to many of the fiends. But we knew our fight would not last long. Gunn fell from his wounds. I did not see the fate of Angel or Spike."
"How did you escape?" Buffy asked in a low and menacing tone. Her temper was growing; Illyria had escaped while Angel, Spike, and Gunn didn't. She wanted to know why.
"I was violently knocked through a wall and too injured to carry on effectively. There was a passage nearby that led underground and I journeyed through. When I came to the surface, I decided to make my way here to you, through what you humans call a 'train'. I was told of your exploits and came here to find you."
"So…" Buffy started to say, her temper growing ever more, "you deserted them."
"What?"
"You deserted them when they needed you and you left them to die," Buffy replied, her tone accusatory.
"I made a strategic decision," Illyria responded defensively.
"Still sounds like desertion to me."
"I wanted to continue the battle against the Wolf, Ram, & Hart in my own way, and I could not do that by myself. That is why I came here."
"What do you mean by that?" Buffy asked Illyria.
Standing up Illyria carefully eyed the Slayers that were present, looking them over as if she were inspecting them. "Your warriors look crude, but with adequate training they might prove most formidable." The girls looked at Buffy with surprised and questioning looks on their faces.
"Whoa, hold on there!" Buffy exclaimed. "You are not about to take these girls on your little vendetta against Wolfram & Hart!"
"What?" Illyria replied.
"What part didn't you get?" Buffy asked rhetorically. "You are not going against Wolfram & Hart with these girls!"
"How can you say that? I was told of the vampires' affections for you and how much you cared about them. Do they not mean anything to you?"
"They do," Buffy replied, "but that doesn't mean I'm going to take on that law firm!"
"Their actions must not be countenanced," Illyria said abruptly. "They will suffer for their insult and I will bring them that suffering. I must have vengeance; Wesley's death must be avenged."
"But not with these girls' lives," Buffy protested firmly.
"Do you not understand? I must abate my grief," Illyria replied in a painful voice, the emotions pouring out of her. "It overwhelms me to my very core! It sears me and permeates throughout, racking this weak husk. Don't you see? I must be rid of it; I have to make the pain go away!"
"You can't!" Buffy yelled, visibly shaken. "You can't, Illyria. There is nothing you can do to make the pain go away. It'll always be there. And no matter how many monsters you kill or how many fiends you destroy to even the score, it'll never go away... ever."
Illyria's temper flared, but she started to settle down after Buffy's words. Solemnly, she asked, "How do you humans deal with these… feelings?"
"With time," Buffy replied. "The pain will get better in time. That's all I can promise you."
Sara had been seated in a chair the entire time, shocked at what she heard. She was amazed at the courage of Angel and his crew, to fight against something they knew would outlast them. But a worrisome thought soon made her feelings of admiration subside.
"Excuse me," she said, "but can we all meet in the office for a minute?"
Willow, Rona, Kennedy, Giles, Buffy, Sara, and Monica went into office. Closing the door behind them and turning the blinds, Sara quickly said, "We need to get rid of her. Now."
"What?" Willow exclaimed.
"We need to get her out of here right now."
"Well, that's considerate," Willow replied sarcastically.
"Hey," Sara snapped, "were you in the same room as me? 'Cause from what I heard Buffy's ex and his pals just took on Wolfram & Hart. And that means Illyria's on their 'Most Wanted' list. We need to toss her out now."
"You can't just do that," Willow protested. "She came to us for help."
"She came to us for soldiers in her personal vendetta," Sara retorted.
"Okay, so that part's bad," Willow conceded. "But that doesn't mean we should toss her out there. She's a sitting duck if we do."
"We're sitting ducks if we don't!" Sara yelled. Turning to Buffy she said, "Buffy, if we keep her here, Wolfram & Hart will have an excuse to attack us. We can't go against them and Amy."
"Buffy, we can't just leave her out there to get slaughtered," Willow countered. "We don't do that."
Buffy leaned against a wall of the office. Her mind had drifted for a moment during Sara and Willow dispute. She began to think about how she had never imagined herself in this position, meeting in a plush office discussing strategy. The only reason any of them were able to do so now was because the game had changed. It had changed so much that it transformed the nature of how they worked and thought. And now that Wolfram & Hart had been dealt a serious blow, not only to their physical self but to their ego, the game had changed once again.
She was contemplative as Illyria's fate hung in the balance. Buffy saw both Sara's point and Willow's point. The trouble was that they both had a good amount of merit. She loathed this position; she didn't want to take sides against her best friend and she didn't want to get into a shouting match with Sara that would leave her with a headache later on. Still, a decision had to be made regarding Illyria. And from the escalating argument between Sara and Willow she knew it would have to be soon. The two rarely fought since they met, maybe three times, but when they did it was best to steer clear.
"Come on, Willow," Sara said. "You know as well as I do Wolfram & Hart will stomp us if they find her here!"
"They might think twice if we're involved. Maybe they won't want to pick a fight with us if we put her under our protection."
"And that's a huge big 'maybe', Willow," Sara replied.
"So, we just toss her out on the street?" Willow asked rhetorically. "You're a cop; how could you even consider that?"
"I'm being practical! We can't take on Amy and that law firm!"
"And I just don't think it's right we hang someone out to dry," Willow said, "especially if they might be allies!"
"Well, from what I heard, Illyria sounds like she's on her own side," Sara replied.
"Why don't we take a vote on it?" Rona interjected. "I'm with Pez on this one; Illyria's too much of a liability."
Kennedy spoke up next. "As much as I think it might be a bad idea, leaving her out on the street to get picked off isn't something we do. I say she stays. Maybe she could even help us with Amy."
"I say she goes," Monica said. "If Wolfram & Hart get wind of her here, there's no telling what could happen."
Everyone looked at Giles and Buffy. The vote so far was 3-2 in favor of Sara's decision. Since Sara wasn't an official part of The Watchers' Council, she normally wouldn't have had a vote. It was decided, however, that if any decision had to do with New York and the surrounding area, she would have voting powers on the matter.
Giles was the first to speak up. He looked at Sara and Sara looked back into his eyes and knew right then and there that things were not about to go in her favor. She knew how he was going to vote and said, "Giles…"
"I'm sorry, Sara," he replied, "but I just don't feel right leaving her to die."
"Yeah, but leaving Fred to die was just peachy keen," Willow snapped. Everyone slightly winced at her words. Giles didn't reply; he knew he deserved that.
Dejected, Sara looked at Buffy. Indeed, everyone looked at Buffy. The vote was split 3-3 and she was the deciding factor. Sara knew they tended to be at each others' throats, but felt that even the head Slayer saw the merit in steering clear of Wolfram & Hart's radar. And to her, Illyria was just a big blip on the screen. "Buffy," she said in an attempt to persuade her, "you know I'm right. We'll be in Wolfram & Hart's sights if we keep her here."
Buffy finally decided to speak. "We're already in their sights, Sara. They probably looked our way the moment Angel did what he did. I'm not too thrilled about having her here, but I just don't feel good about tossing her out. We might as well kill her ourselves if we did that. I vote that she stays. And maybe she could help us out, you know, while she's here."
"I can't believe this. I can't believe we're doing this," Sara said. "Fine, but we're making a big mistake taking her in; a big mistake. Don't say I didn't warn you."
The seven came out of the office and walked toward Illyria, who was seated on a chair. The Slayers had stayed a good distance away from her, not knowing for sure if she was volatile, but getting the sense that she was extremely temperamental. She stood as the group approached.
"Illyria," Buffy said, "we took a vote and… decided that you should stay here awhile."
She merely stared at Buffy with her intense eyes, something that started to make the Slayer a tad uncomfortable.
"Uh," Buffy continued, shaking off the feeling, "some of us were even hoping that you might be persuaded to, uh, give us a hand, you know, with our problem."
"You would have me abandon my pursuit of vengeance against the Wolf, Ram, & Hart to aid you in your own battles?" Illyria asked in aversion.
"I know it hardly seems fair," Buffy replied, "but you'd be helping us out a lot. I know you'd be honoring Wesley if you did. And you'll probably get to kill a lot of things too. That's a plus."
Illyria looked at the Slayer in silence and contemplated the offer for a few moments. After a few seconds, she replied, "Very well. I accept your proposal... on one condition."
"Condition?' Buffy asked incredulously. "Illyria, some of us don't even want you here. Had things gone a different way, you'd have been kicked out soon as we came out of the office. I think you got a pretty good break just getting to stay here."
"It is a small request," she said. "Considering I am giving up my agenda to help further yours, I think it only fair."
Taking a moment to look around at the pseudo-committee, Buffy sighed and said, "Alright. What is it?"
"That he be my new Qwa'Ha'Xahn," she replied as she pointed to Giles.
"What?!" Sara exclaimed.
"Now hold on..." Buffy started to say before Sara interrupted her.
"Who do you think you are making a request like that?" Sara yelled as she walked up to Illyria. "How dare you!"
"Be grateful I did not request command of your troops!" Illyria shot back.
At that, Buffy and Willow were about to speak. Though Willow had supported allowing her to stay, she was just as shocked as anyone at Illyria's audacity. She and Buffy were prepared to give her a piece of their minds… once Sara stopped her tirade. Which, they thought, didn't look like it was going to happen soon.
"Be grate…?" Sara muttered in surprise. "You think you can just waltz in here and start making demands just because you get to be on the team? Some of us don't even want you here; I don't want you here! And if you think for once that Giles is going to be your stupid little guide, you can just…"
"I'll do it," Giles said.
Everyone turned around to look at the man still on the mend, his breathing assisted through tubes in his nostrils. "What did you say, Giles?" Buffy asked in surprise.
"I said I'll do it. I'll be Illyria's guide."
"Then it's settled," Illyria said.
Sara stared at Giles wide-eyed and said, "Excuse me, everyone, but I think Giles and I need to have a little talk." From her tone, everyone knew what 'talk' meant. She stormed toward the office, Giles following behind her. Once he entered in, she forcefully slammed the door.
"'I'll do it?'," she said, repeating Giles' statement. "I know we've both been out of the dating game for awhile now, but I thought it was customary to talk to your significant other before making big decisions!"
"Sara..."
"Giles, we have enough challenges as it is. And now you go and do something like this, just when we're starting our relationship? How could you do that?"
Giles stood speechless. He knew any reason he could offer would be more than inadequate.
"Look," Sara continued, "I know you feel bad about that Fred kid. Believe me, I do too. I think it's lousy what happened to her. But to agree to be that thing's qua'… quasi…"
"Qwa'Ha'Xahn," Giles corrected.
"Whatever! The point is that you agreed to do this without even talking to me! It makes me think you aren't even serious about us."
"Sara, please…"
"No, Giles," she said as she put up her hands. "I'm really upset. I can't talk to you right now. I just… I'm going." She grabbed her jacket and left the office. As she started to leave the building, she stopped and gave Illyria a menacing glare. Illyria merely stood expressionless, as if the gesture didn't faze her at all. Continuing on her way, Sara left toward the front door.
"Pez, where are you…?" Ling began to ask, until Willow put her hand on the girl's shoulder and shook her head, signaling to the Ling that it was best to leave the cop alone.
"Sara, please! I…" Giles pleaded as she left, rushing as fast as he could behind her. Once she was out the door, he stopped in his tracks. He hung his head low, and began to wonder how he could go about fixing the new predicament in his life.
At that moment Buffy decided to deal their new guest, as well as leave Giles to himself, and said, "Adrienne, could you could show Illyria where she'll be staying?"
"Um… sure," she replied, reluctant to show the new resident to her quarters. "Yeah, uh, this way, Illyria."
As they walked toward the steps, Buffy said, "Let's call it a night, everyone. I think it's best we get back to dealing with Amy. We go back to regular patrols starting tomorrow."
"Oh, yeah... this'll work out great," Rona muttered cynically as they all started to disperse.
Buffy walked near the study, knowing Giles was in the room. He was sitting in a chair, a long look on his face. He had been there for an hour, ever since Sara left, thinking how he could possibly screw up a new relationship so bad in just a matter of days. Walking over to him, she said, "Hey, Giles."
"Oh… hello, Buffy. I was just, well, trying to sort out some things."
"I figured you were," she said.
"I suppose my decision to be Illyria's guide wasn't the brightest decision to make in a new relationship."
"As far as boyfriend maneuvers go, that was pretty bad. Why'd you do it?"
Letting out a loud sigh, he said, "I was hoping it could make up for what happened it Fred. At the time I thought I made the right decision. But some time after I kept thinking that maybe it wasn't a Wolfram & Hart trick and that I had turned my back on someone needing help. I put it out of my mind, though, after awhile. But when Illyria showed up, I began to feel guilty and… reacted."
"Giles," Buffy said, "you can't keep doing this. You've got Willow mad at you, Sara furious with you, and I'm not too pleased with you either. You should have told us Angel called. I know you're just trying to protect everyone, and I know we're in a vulnerable position, having to rebuild everything from the ground up. But we need to be able to trust each other and talk to each other before making big decisions. And that goes double if you plan on having a relationship with Sara."
"I know. It was foolish and inconsiderate. I'm sorry… I should have told you what happened."
"I'm more mad at Angel," Buffy said. "Stupid, heroic, Angel. He didn't tell me anything. We could have backed him up, maybe sent him a few Slayers to help even the odds. And don't get me started on Spike; a little heads-up would have been nice. But every time I get mad at Angel for not letting me know anything, I understand why he didn't. And it makes me love him and hate him all the more."
"He was trying to protect us," Giles said, "trying to protect you. Wolfram & Hart wouldn't have a reason to go after you if you weren't involved."
"I get that. And it makes me angry, not just with him, but with myself, because all this time I questioned his commitment to being a champion. I'm angry that I couldn't do anything for him, but at the same time, I love him all the more for what he did." Taking a deep breath in, she sighed. "It doesn't matter now," she said. "All I know is that I'll pick up where he and the others left off."
"What do you mean? You're not thinking of taking on Wolfram & Hart, are you?" Giles asked anxiously.
"Not now," she said, "and maybe not for a long time, but sooner or later. Our paths will cross; that's a given. But when they do, I want to be ready. I want to be ready to strike, and strike hard."
"I thought you weren't going to take these girls against Wolfram & Hart," Giles said.
"Not under Illyria, and not anytime soon. But the fact is that one day what they want and what we want will come in conflict. And when that happens, I don't want us caught off-guard."
"Are you sure this is business and not personal?" he asked. He wanted to be sure; he had to be sure.
"It's both," she replied. "To say this isn't personal would be a lie. They'll pay for what they did. But you know as well as I do that one day the Slayers and Wolfram & Hart will clash. And I want to make sure we're prepared. One thing Takagi said about Amy that's been sticking with me is her decision to take one of Sun Tzu's deception principles to heart. I want to do the same thing with the Senior Partners. When our paths do cross, I want them thinking we're too weak to take them on." Her voice then lowered in tone, almost to a subtle growl. "I want to bide my time, make preparations, slip in… and have myself a real good day. But not today. Until then, I'll deal with what needs to be dealt with." Snapping out of her little speech, she merely said, "Uh, good night, Giles."
"Uh, good night... Buffy." Giles looked at his former charge as she walked away, disturbed more than he thought he could be. Rarely had she ever displayed such dark emotions. The words she spoke had shaken him to his core. What scared him more, though, was that she was right: sooner or later they would come head-to-head with Wolfram & Hart. The only question was when. And he for one hoped that day would not be for a long, long, long time.