I'm overjoyed to be back! Finally, finally, finally! Thanks girls for the show of support and interest throughout! You've been great and very patient! Your emails have meant the world to me! Thank you all so much!

Warm thanks to CaroMio (read further down, plz. Rest of story will be up very shortly!), CharmedPhoebe, LindaM, ReeseAnn and MaidenRo. Thank you thank you thank you!

To readers not familiar with the story behind the story – it was formerly posted on another page, but was deleted for no good reason (I have yet to get an explanation from the administrator) and so I, in the sense of slight caution, decided to create a new page and repost it there. thewhispering was born. tear No, but seriously, hopefully I'll be able to draw back the darling readers I had been able to get at least somewhat hooked on the story, and perhaps I'll even attract a few new ones. Heh-heh.

I still enjoy writing the story and it is far from finished, so sit back and enjoy the ride. ;)

A.M.L, Annie.

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Careful What You Wish For

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"Talk about 'Be careful what you wish for'," Xander stated half an hour later.

Willow had, after a few long minutes of weighing the pros and cons, decided to ditch school since the emergency at hand urgently called for it, and had brought Buffy to Giles' apartment. For the past fifteen minutes a careful interrogation had been conducted by Giles and as he had just joined Willow and Xander in the living room they had also been able to share in the good news. Which were that Buffy was absolutely fine. The thing that was a little negative was that she was the "fine" she had been four years ago.

"She responds excellently to everything and listens... well, Buffy never really listens intently, but she seems to understand that something is going on that is out of her control and that we're here to help her. I tried to explain to her that she might look a little older than she thinks she is, but that she shouldn't worry about it," Giles said and Xander nodded.

"Good. That should buy us some time, right? To get to the bottom of this?"

"Yes," Giles agreed and Willow watched his tense face for a few moments before she asked the ominous question:

"How bad is it?"

"Well..." Giles replied, taking off his glasses and thoughtfully polishing them as he added: "I simply don't know where to start. I've never heard of anything like it."

"So, what should we do?" Xander wondered after a tight silence.

"Act as though all is normal. Those beings that know she is the Slayer mustn't have even the slightest doubt that she is at full capacity."

"Well, that should be easy..." Xander said with faked enthusiasm.

"What about Riley? Shouldn't he know?" Willow asked.

"Yes, certainly. Try to get a hold of him," Giles agreed.

"I will. Trouble is there's been so much going on with the Initiative lately... I'll try," Willow ensured.

"Okay. Who's on Buffy duty tonight?" Xander inquired.

¤

Buffy looked at her reflection with growing eyes. She looked so... grown up. Just like that Willow girl.

I look like I'm in college, at least! she thought to herself, not being able to contain the smile spreading across her lips.

This could turn out to be the best totally freakish thing ever.

¤

"What did I do with all my short skirts! And what's with all the bland! Where are the colors?"

Willow sat stumped on her bed, watching Buffy tear through her own closet at hurricane speed.

"I think you gave up anything too bright back in... A while back. This school is a little bit more... refined."

"Hah! I'd say restrained," Buffy commented, diving out of the wardrobe and onto her bed with her arms full of clothes. "But I'm pretty sure I remember the last edition of Cosmo... I'm sure I can whip something tasty out of this mess," she added optimistically as she began to rifle through the heap.

"I'm really not sure it's a good idea for us to go out tonight," Willow said for the tenth time, but Buffy merely laughed.

"Come on! You can't expect me to look like I'm twenty-one and not be able to try and play the part, can you?" she replied and Willow made an effort to not look unhappy as she pointed out:

"You're only nineteen."

"Yes, but I didn't say I was twenty-one, I said I look twenty-one," Buffy replied, holding up a small top and smirking. "Perfectamente."

Willow rolled her eyes.

"Buffy," she reprimanded, but Buffy merely smiled brightly before walking up to the full length mirror to have a peek.

"I'm gonna enjoy myself, Willow. I'm missing the biggest, most important date of my life. You owe me some fun."

"That's what's bothering me," Willow muttered.

"Oh, don't be all sulky and mood-bringer-down-y!" Buffy exclaimed. "Put something nice on and have a blast yourself!"

Willow smiled as well, not able to resist as she could see the obvious excitement on her friend's face. There had been no luck in the Riley search, and Willow couldn't decide whether she should tell the younger version of the Slayer that she was committed to someone, or if this might actually turn out to be another freak-factor. Perhaps if she didn't say anything just for tonight. For all she knew Riley might show at the Bronze.

¤

"Hi!" Buffy smiled brightly at the young bartender and Willow felt like pulling her hair out as she could hear Xander's voice in her head repeating the words "Buffy duty" over and over again.

This was proving to be a challenge.

"Why, hello, there," the bartender winked back and Willow decided to cut in.

"We'll have two club sodas..."

"Oh, don't be boring, Willow!"

"...and that's it!" Willow finished with a look of death at her friend and Buffy seemed to shrink back in defeat before she turned around and took in the crowd – her eyes immediately beginning to gleam again.

"This place is happening! Look at all the little cuties!" she yelled over the music which had just started up.

"Yeah – let's not," Willow disagreed, feeling the need to get it through the teen's thick skull that this was not what she thought it was; and that she wasn't free to do whatever she pleased. Suddenly Willow's gaze landed on Riley. Finally, something going right. "I'll be right back!" she said. "Stay!" she added with a finger in Buffy's face, and the latter gave her a disliking frown before watching the Wicca jump off her stool and head for some guy.

Buffy observed as Willow began talking, and she saw the guy's face turn extremely solemn as he listened closely. The Slayer lost interest the next moment. Her eyes wandered across the room and then stopped as they fastened on broad shoulders... black... leather... There was something... Something she couldn't really put her finger on, but...

"Buffy?"

She turned her eyes in Willow's for a second to acknowledge her, but then had them back on the spot where the other guy had been. He was gone.

Damn!

"What?" she asked, looking back at the redhead.

"There's something I have to tell you..."

¤

Buffy felt awkward, glancing at the person next to her on the sofa. Riley. Her boyfriend. Great. Did anything make sense anymore? Had she been warped into a different universe, somehow? Or... was she dreaming? She'd never had such a lucid dream before...

And what was she supposed to do now? Get engaged! She might as well, she'd never felt so tied down as in this moment. And what about Andy! No, never mind Andy – what about all the others just waiting out there, somewhere. Was she supposed to just not look at them, at all!

Okay, Buffy, she reprimanded herself. Some part of you has to remember this guy.

She took his profile in. He was very handsome, she concluded. Cute. The poster boy for Wholesome American. He had most probably grown up in a sheltered and safe environment, folks who loved him, a dog named Rascal or something not far from it. Riley and Rascal. Made sense. And now he'd come to the "big" city to live it up.

Oh, dear God, I cannot do this, she thought. Please, don't let him hate me. Well, not the other me, at least.

"Look..." she said, having Riley turn his gaze in hers with a small smile on. "I'm sure you're a nice guy and everything, I mean, I must have some reason to like you, right?" The smile faded. "But this, right now... it's just not gonna work out, for me. Okay? I'm so sorry..."

He looked at her for a moment, then nodded.

"So am I," he said. "I guess I'm getting used to this. But I hope they get you back to... yourself... soon," he then grumbled, getting to his feet and leaving.

She sat back and closed her eyes, scared that she'd just done something irreversible. Then she drew a small breath and rose as well. She almost turned and walked the other way when she saw Willow approaching her, but she knew that no matter how overbearing the girl was she wanted what was best for her. Surely she would see that having a boyfriend would totally ruin any attempt at having a good time.

"Why did he leave?" Willow asked.

"Well, I... sorta broke up with him," Buffy shrugged and Willow's eyes grew unimaginably round before she grabbed the other's arm and pulled her aside.

"You love Riley! Now march after him and get him back here!"

"Take it easy! Jeez!" Buffy replied. "Maybe at one time the other me loved Riley... but now I'm me and I wanna be able to look around, you know? Shake it up. I'm not ready for a relationship. I haven't even started dating yet!"

"No, you haven't – but the other you, the actual you... I mean, not that you're not real, but... Buffy! Listen to me. You can't stir up this kind of trouble! Pretty soon you'll be back to how you were, and so will everything else, okay? The reality you think is real isn't really real, and when you realize that then you might be able to help me help you before you... Buffy? Are you hearing me?"

Buffy bit her lower lip as she glanced over Willow's shoulder. The form of the man she had spotted before had returned. She swallowed as she stared at him leaning over the pool table and thrusting the cue forward with perfect aim. She couldn't see his face, which was bugging her.

Come on, she thought. Just a quick look over here...

She got more than she bargained for as he straightened his back and in the next moment turned his head her way. She tried not to look caught as he casually leaned against the cue, holding her gaze. A small smile began to play on her lips, but an air of sudden caution seemed to slip over him as he didn't return it.

"Who's that?" she now asked Willow – not exactly expecting the other to possess an actual answer.

Willow turned to look in the direction the Slayer was looking.

"Spike!" she exclaimed, grabbing one of Buffy's wrists and, this time, dragging her with her across the room to said vampire.

"You know him! And 'Spike'? What kind of a name is...?" Buffy began to ask, but interrupted herself when they stopped before the man in question.

"Red," he said with a slight nod. "Slayer," he added, eyes back in Buffy's and she stared at him, feeling a shiver of unexpected pleasure creep its way up her spine.

He knew her.

Then she blinked, forcing her gaze out of his and to Willow as she asked:

"Slayer?"

Willow flashed her a smile, not answering as she addressed Spike.

"I need a favor."

"A what now?" he asked, putting the cue away and grabbing a half-finished beer off the end of the pool table.

"A favor, Spike. You should know what that is. We grant you one pretty much every single time we see you," she replied and he smirked, cocking an eyebrow and glancing at the Slayer, who was behaving mighty odd this evening.

"Cut to the kill," he said, taking a swig of his beer and swallowing as he shrugged off the blonde's insistent study of him.

"I have to go. Just for a little while – something's come up and Xander needs me to help him," Willow answered, as well as she explained to Buffy, who was looking both nervous and eager – something which unsettled the Wicca even more. "Buffy can't... I mean, she doesn't want to come with me 'cause... she's been working so hard and she has to..."

"Why are you telling me this?" he interrupted and she sought out the best explanation at hand as she answered:

"Something happened last night which has her a bit out of the loop. I need you to make sure that she stays here 'til I get back."

He smiled.

"Why the bleeding hell should I do anything for you?"

"I'll pay you," she replied firmly.

His eyes glinted with interest, then he looked at Buffy again and shook his head a little.

"I dunno if I can put up with her for more than five minutes," he stated and the Slayer looked clearly insulted at that, Willow saw that her mouth was about to fire back and she cut in with:

"You don't even have to talk to her. She'll keep herself happy... I'm sure. Just don't let her leave with any... seedy guys, get what I mean?"

Now he stared at her.

"No," he answered and she ground her teeth together.

Xander had come by ten minutes ago with a flushed countenance telling her just how much he and Giles needed another hand in the patrolling they were conducting. She had to leave, but if Buffy came it would be a disaster! Leaving her with Spike was in some ways even more of a gamble, but the choice had already been made. Willow didn't have time to debate it anymore.

"Vampires," she gritted out meaningfully to clarify her earlier request and Spike cocked an eyebrow, making her roll her eyes.

"I'm not sure I get..." Buffy started, but Spike held up a hand.

"Stay! Dance!" Willow said, before he had a chance to put up any more protests. "You don't wanna leave anyways, do you? Buffy – Spike. Spike – Buffy," she finished incredibly quickly and yet not escaping making Spike's eyebrows rise high at the introduction. "There. Have fun and I'll be back in... as soon as I can! Gotta run!"

And in a whirl she was gone.

Buffy stood feeling rather lost as to what she should do now. He was obviously older, he obviously knew more about her than she did about him, and she felt completely out of place. The fact that his piercing blue eyes seemed to see right into her to in the next moment look straight through her didn't help. Not one bit.

She couldn't remember the last time a guy hadn't actually liked her pretty much instantly. She was a cheerleader, she was smart enough and she always dressed in the latest fashion. She was appealing, popular and came in a perfectly neat little package – what sixteen-year old wouldn't just die to be in her good graces? Only, this... man was no sixteen year old boy. He looked at her as though he detested her, and still...

He ran his gaze over her shape one last time before he brought out a smoke and with a huff he turned, walking away.

She clenched her jaws together in irritation. With herself. Naturally she had to go chasing the most entrancing prey of the whole place. She was such an idiot!

"Wanna dance?"

She looked at the boy standing to her right, his hand held out and a friendly smile on his face. He was her age – well, the age she looked – and he was in her taste and so she returned the smile, took his hand and let him guide her onto the dance floor. They easily slipped into the groove and she discovered to her content that he wasn't half bad as a dancer. She moved closer to him and smiled, this time to herself. Yeah, this was how she'd always pictured herself when she got older.

Free, happy and having the time of her life.

Spike moved along the outer swell of the crowd, not able to keep from reminiscing the first time he ever laid eyes on her. This girl close enough to touch, this girl that made him feel the hunter within him stronger than ever. It had wanted her then, as it did now. Wanted to drink her up and toss her away as though she didn't matter. Wanted to be rid of her, once and for all. And with her, everything that she stood for. Wipe that satisfied grin off her face and have terror in her green eyes right before she realized that what she was up against was nothing less than her doom. And he would swallow every last drop of her, feel the high of a Slayer's blood once again flowing through every speck of him. He would relish and linger and cross out that number three which still stood waiting in the back of his mind.

She eluded him, and it got to him more than anything. It scratched his fragile nerves and how he hated to see her enjoying herself. She should be frightened, huddled in a corner, imprisoned by him. She should be hating him, not pitying him. This goddamn chip!

He growled silently, turning from the sight of her and walking up to the bar.

She made him feel like an animal in need of raw flesh. She drove him well to the brink of sanity and he wasn't sure he could take it much longer and yet he was tied to her and her moronic friends because of her imbecile of a boyfriend.

This. Goddamn. Chip.

He swallowed the whiskey which was set before him in one swift gulp and closed his eyes in aggravation. He had to cross her out.

Looking to his right he watched as she left the dance floor, the guy in faithful tow and he huffed again. Bloody fool. Couldn't he see that she was no good? She was a killer, a murderer, a creature of the night. Fighting urges which that measly human could never possibly begin to understand... Urges to destroy. Destroy whatever this vampire had left. Destroy his very will. She would never be able to. He smirked. She could try, but he would never surrender to her – like everyone else did. God! Just looking at her made him want to...

The sentence hung unfinished as he caught her back disappearing through the back door.

"Oh... bloody hell," he breathed, sliding off the stool and quickly making his way up to the place of her exit.

He slipped through the door silently and could hear her voice.

"What?" she said, giggling.

"Come here..." a male voice entreated. "I wanna tell you something."

"That's my cue," Spike muttered to himself, quickly making his way into the alley.

Buffy was positioned against a brick wall, the guy she had been dancing with leaning into her, and as she saw Spike emerge over the other's shoulder her eyes grew questioning; then agitated. The guy noticed, turning his head and raising his eyebrows.

"Do you mind?" he asked, the query not halting Spike's deliberate approach in the least.

"Actually," he replied as he stopped by them before reaching out a hand and grabbing the neck of the younger. "I do," he added, pulling the latter back and then throwing him to slide on the asphalt.

"What the...!" Buffy yelped, staring at the scene.

"Leave," Spike commanded the now rising other. "Right now, or I'll bleeding well rip your not-ripe teeth out of your mouth," he added and the fledgling turned and commenced running for its life.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, you psycho! I'm outta here!" Buffy exploded, heading for the door; but one strong hand grabbed her arm and yanked her back.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" he burst out in retort and she was rendered breathless at the pure fury in his gaze. "What was that? A new slaying tactic, huh? No, you better tell me precisely what the bleeding hell's going on here!"

"Alright, just stop yelling!" she shouted, tearing loose. For a moment she hesitated, musing over whether this was a good idea, but then she figured there was nothing else to do and so she said: "...I've lost my memory, okay? That Willow girl told me that I had some kinda accident and I can't remember anything. Or, sorta."

"You 'sorta' can't remember anything?" he asked, disbelieving and she gave him an irritated glare which was the first form of recognizable trait he'd seen on her all evening.

"It's complicated, okay? Ask Willow, she'll tell you all about it. I hardly get half of it myself. Other than I look older but feel younger, or something," she stated and he looked confused. "Well, according to Will I'm nineteen – only I don't remember it."

He cocked an eyebrow.

"Uh-huh," he said, "and how old do you remember being?"

She looked at him for a few seconds, then replied:

"Fifteen."

There was a moment of silence, and then Spike broke into roaring laughter. He laughed so hard he nearly toppled over and Buffy felt her face gain heat the more he did so. Finally he dried the tears from his eyes and straightened his posture, still wearing a wide smirk on his mouth which she wasn't sure whether she liked, or absolutely detested.

"Let me see if I can get this straight," he said. "You've somehow gotten yourself back to being bloody fifteen? You don't remember... anything in between fifteen and... now? Nothing at all? You don't know who I am?"

"No," she admitted reluctantly. "But I wish you wouldn't find it this amusing. To me, it's totally creepy. I mean, she has to be somewhere else. We can't be the exact same person, right? I mean, if I'm here now, where did the me who's not here go? And where's the me who's supposed to be going out with Andy right now? Did I stop existing where I came from? Or is the older me there right now, screwing things up as much as I am here?"

"Alright, calm down, Slayer."

"And that – why do you call me that? I can't even describe how disturbing it sounds and I kinda wish you wouldn't," she mumbled, feeling a sudden chill travel over her shoulders and she wrapped her arms around her waist, huddling slightly.

He couldn't believe it. Was she joking? But it fit too nicely with every unusual thing she'd done throughout the evening. And would the actual Slayer refuse a clear slay? Bate the hook and then not do away with the catch? Only to play mind tricks on an enemy? On him? No. And there was the fact of Willow actually asking him to look out for her.

And what the hell had he just done?

Suddenly he felt sick to his stomach. There she was. Alive. When she could have been very much dead. Good going, Spike. No money in the world could have greater worth than her out of his bloody path once and for all. The Wicca was crazy to think that she could buy his protection of the wench.

"Good luck getting home," he smirked, turning abruptly and heading out of the alley.

Buffy watched him leave, looked around at the desolate place he had left her, and then hurriedly got herself moving in his footsteps. As she came up to walk at his side he halted.

"What are you doing?" he demanded and she smiled with fake-shyness.

"I thought..."

"Go back in there," he said. "Don't worry, love, you'll be perfectly safe. Have a gay old time and wait for the posse to come pick you up, okay. Trot along now."

But she merely followed as he picked up his pace again and he grumbled.

"If you don't get the sod back there I'll..."

"Why did you spend all that energy back there to save me, if you don't even like me?" she stopped him and he struggled in vain to find an answer, and so he merely gritted his teeth and kept his gaze locked on something ahead of them. "You're pretty strong, by the way. You threw that guy like he was made out of air. It was pretty cool, actually."

He discarded the small twirl of satisfaction at that acknowledgement, and ignored her utterly.

"Oh, I get it. You're that detached dude that never says a word unless he has to. Okay. Guess I'll have to do all of the talking then."

"Look!" he stopped her, turning to face her and she wore a completely innocent expression which he had until that moment not seen on her.

It perplexed him and made him forget the very liable argument he had been about to present as to why they would both be better off if she just went back to the club.

"I'm looking," she said and the softness in her eyes caught him off guard. "I just wanna ask you something and then I'll go, okay?" she then added and he nodded without being aware of making the movement. "If I shouldn't leave that place with the guy I find the most... interesting, then who should I leave with?"

He blinked, mesmerized by the gentle shifting of color in her irises, and the carefully occurring tug within him to take her with him wherever she wanted to go.

Then he realized exactly what she was doing. Dru had been an expert at it. She was seducing him with sweetness and falsehoods and he would have none of it!

"You should leave with the one who gives a damn," he replied to her question and she looked surprised, which made him feel that much better. "Maybe these little tricks work on those college... sorry, high-school boys you want to carry your books for you. But in the real world, honey, that little smile of yours is worth about as much as it looks. Run back to your own crowd. Believe me, when you come out of whatever the hell you're under you'll wanna snap your own bloody neck for ever saying that to me."

As he turned and walked away from her for the third time she didn't follow. She was too shocked to.

The fact that her charms hadn't worked on him for a second was enough to shake her to her very socks. But that he had been so aware of it had a churning need start up in the pit of her stomach.

"Buffy!" Xander's voice sounded from behind her and he, Giles and Willow came rapidly toward her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she smiled. "I've had a total blast. Think I've even seen the beginning of a wonderful friendship," she added as they began to walk back toward the Bronze, the last statement having Willow and Xander exchange a very worried look.