Disclaimer: I don't own .hack//SIGN or its characters (maybe I can bribe
for Sora)
_______________________________________________________________________
Chapter 1: ...Love...
Sora had seen some pretty odd stuff in the history of The World, but this had to be one of the oddest. Seeing a Grunty run around in panicked circles looking like some over-sized constipated pig was up on his Weird Things List along with a weird cat that was mute and the rumored Hobo character class. What would a Grunty have to worry about anyway? What a weirdo Grunty. That wore a Wavemaster's hat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tsukasa was running panicky in circles, trying to communicate with Subaru, or at least give her a signal that the Grunty was actually Tsukasa. Subaru, on the other hand, saw Tsukasa running around in circles and decided it would be fun to ride on Tsukasa like a roller coaster. She was missing the point entirely. 'But at least she's having fun,' Tsukasa thought.
Then, out of the corner of Tsukasa's eyes, she saw something weird and dangerous looking and decided that she would deal with it. Tsukasa was about to do something kinda stupid. She bit her tail, thinking it was an evil creature. 'Maybe,' thought Tsukasa, coming up with a plan to not feel stupid, 'maybe if I don't do anything, she won't notice.' It was like when a cat runs high speed and hits your foot then walks away, pretending that it meant to do that.
Subaru had hopped off Tsukasa when she did that, then Subaru remarked playfully, "That's you TAIL! You don't want to bite it!"
"Shooooop!!" This, of course, meant that Sora had arrived, along with Mimiru, Silver Knight, and Crim. "You see, you see, it's a weird Grunty!"
Mimiru bent down to look at Tsukasa and noticed the Wavemaster hat it wore. "Aww, it's so cute! What's its name?"
"Hey!" exclaimed Tsukasa. "I'm not an IT! I'm a-ah forget, you can't understand anyway!"
Everyone else heard what Tsukasa said like this: "Grunttt! Grummmmble grunta GUMBLE!" followed by several grumbles. This gave Sora an idea.
"It can't even speak properly! We don't want mooooore weirdo Grunties like this running around," then Sora paused, "maybe we should get the Grunty fixed."
This elicited a loud, startling grunt, then Tsukasa ran and hid behind Subaru, despite the fact that Tsukasa was about the size of two Subaru's. Mimiru then scolded Sora for such a suggestion. Then Tsukasa had an idea of how to hopefully get Subaru to recognize him. Tsukasa could do romantic things, the type of things Tsukasa would normally do! Then Mimiru started calling out for the Wavemaster Tsukasa.
"Tsukasaaaaaaaaaa, where are you?"
"Yes, where are you, I love you Tsukasaaaaaaaaa, come back!" yelled out Subaru, making Tsukasa feel warm.
Mimiru, never one to feel undermined, tried to better Subaru. "Oh yeah? Well, I love Tsukasa more!"
"I love Tsukasa twice as much!"
"I love Tsukasa thrice as much!" 'What the hell does thrice even mean?' but that nagging thought wasn't gonna stop Mimiru.
"I love Tsukasa four times as much!"
"I love Tsukasa..." Mimiru paused. What number was she on? Aw, math was so confusing! "...alright, you win this time Subaru, but no more bringing math into this!"
Subaru giggled, but when she looked back, she couldn't find her Tsukasa Grunty anywhere. Where had Tsukasa gone? While she looked for her, she could hear Sora and Mimiru arguing in the background and Crim saying that he thought that Sora and Mimiru made such a cute couple.
'Yes!' thought the Silver Knight, 'with Tsukasa gone, I will be able to woo Lady Subaru! Nothing can stop me now!'
Subaru was still looking for Tsukasa as the SK walked towards her, but then Subaru saw something that she thought was incredibly adorable. Tsukasa, the Grunty form of course, walked up to her, eyes wide with a bouquet of Aromatic Grass in her mouth. The Aromatic Grass bouquet was wrapped in plastic up with 'To the Lovely Subaru' written on it. It was one of the most romantic things Subaru had ever seen, the fact that it came from a Grunty making it better.
Mimiru and Crim and Sora saw it too and Mimiru thought it was incredibly adorable and Sora saw the Silver Knight slap a hand to his head. 'Oh noooo-ooooo! I can't be under-wooed by some Grunty!! This is unbelievable!!'
"Wow, the Tsukasa loved me this much?" Subaru then explained that she had named the Grunty Tsukasa. This gave the Silver Knight an idea. If she loved a bouquet of Aromatic Grass, then surely she's love a BIGGER bouquet of Aromatic Grass!
Silver Knight ran over to a field of Aromatic Grass and tugged it up, but it wouldn't come out! So the Silver Knight done what he thought as a good idea. He got his sword out and chopped all around the Aromatic Grass and chopped the Aromatic Grass then scooped it all up, leaving a dead field.
The Silver Knight ran over to Subaru and turned to face her. "This, uh," then Silver Knight extended his arm and opened his hand, revealing dead, cut, stomped weeds. "These, uh, these dead WEEDS show my love for you!!" beamed Silver Knight.
Subaru had no idea what in the world that was supposed to mean. "Um...thank...you." She did take the torn and ugly weeds though.
Silver Knight just walked and stood beside Sora, feeling slightly dejected. The whole dead weed idea really was a STUPID idea. "Let's seeeeeeee," said Sora, "Grunty: 1. SK: Zeroooooooooo! Well, might as well not hang out with the loooooooser!" Then Sora hopped over near Crim. The Silver Knight knew that everyone in The World had some kind of natural ability in real life. The Silver Knight was positive he had found Sora's natural ability. Sora had the ability to take the lowest point in someone's life and amplify it so that you have a new lowest point in your life.
The Silver Knight would NOT be under-wooed by a Grunty! He had to do something, so he tried thinking of other ways people showed their love for one another. Silver Knight did think it was weird and disturbing that Subaru loved a Grunty and he thought of going over to tell her that she was a freak because of loving a Grunty, then she would realize, then she would thank Silver Knight and love him! 'Man, I am such a genius,' though Silver Knight, not noticing what a stupid, stupid, catastrophic plan this was. Silver Knight was never known for being romantic.
Sora watched the Silver Knight walk over to Subaru and Mimiru, who were petting Tsukasa, then heard the Silver Knight proudly telling Subaru she was a complete weirdo. After hearing Subaru scold Silver Knight, he walked back next to Sora. For some reason, the Silver Knight that for sure that that would work. Sora turned to Silver Knight, "Man, it's sooooooo sad when a girl dumps you for a Grunty. Loseeeeer!"
The Silver Knight watched Sora hop near Tsukasa. 'It's not sad to be dumped for a Grunty!' Silver Knight lied to himself. 'Cripe, he's right!!'
Tsukasa, meanwhile, was getting her belly rubbed by Subaru and Mimiru. Hey, being a Grunty wasn't entirely bad after all! But Tsukasa suddenly had a nagging thought: 'How am I going to bath myself? Oh my God, I'm I gonna have to lick my whole body!? How the hell am I even supposed to get my back!?' How did Grunties usually bath anyway? Then Tsukasa rolled back over onto her feet and looked at Suabru, as if staring at her would get her to realize that the Grunty was Tsukasa. It didn't work! Then Tsukasa looked to the side and saw Mimiru and also saw Sora. Sora was licking his lips with a hungry look in his face. Uh-oh...
Subaru was petting Tsukasa when she looked in the direction Tsukasa was looking and saw Sora. She could've sworn she just heard Sora say "Yummy!" but she really hoped she didn't. She wasn't going to let ANYONE hurt her dear Tsukasa!
Sora, meanwhile, was staring at Tsukasa and could only think of one thing: A1 Steak Sauce. Hmmm, maybe some barbeque, a touch of some sort of spice, a grill! Grilled food was yummy. Tsukasa Stir-Fried, Tsukasa- Loins, Tsukasa-on-Ice. All tasty really. Sora couldn't help it, there was something so tasty looking about this particular Grunty. Sora's blades retracted. Tsukasa ran away. Sora gave chase.
"No Sora! That's a bad Sora! Don't eat the Grunty!" yelled Subaru as she chased after Sora.
"Yeah, don't eat the Grunty! The Grunty makes me think of Tsukasa, whom I love..." Mimiru paused, trying to think of a high number, "...ten times as much as Subaru! Hah, take that Subaru!" Then Mimiru, too, chased after Tsukasa.
'If this Tsukasa is eaten, I can successfully woo Lady Subaru!' though SK, who ran after Tsukasa as well, actually cheering on Sora for a change.
Crim watched this all in mild shock and bewilderment. "I've got some REALLY weird friends. Have you all forgotten about Tsukasa the Wavemaster?!" Then Crim went off to search for the Wavemaster Tsukasa.
Meanwhile, at the field that use to flourish with Aromatic Grass till Silver Knight chopped all their heads off, a little Wavemaster wearing blue visited the field. The blue Wavemaster noticed and big chopped- up field, and couldn't help but question himself with this question: "Hey, where'd all the Aromatic Grass go?"
______________________________________________________________________
Yes, I know this might not be as good as it seemed. Either that or I'm just extremely paranoid, as I usually am when I write a fan fic. I'll end up writing and then think it's not good for some reason, so I'm probably just paranoid. Will Sora eat Tsukasa? Will Silver Knight be able to even out-woo a rock? Well, you'll find out in the next chapter whenever I get to writing it and I hope you liked this chapter. And review if you liked!
Chapter 1: ...Love...
Sora had seen some pretty odd stuff in the history of The World, but this had to be one of the oddest. Seeing a Grunty run around in panicked circles looking like some over-sized constipated pig was up on his Weird Things List along with a weird cat that was mute and the rumored Hobo character class. What would a Grunty have to worry about anyway? What a weirdo Grunty. That wore a Wavemaster's hat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tsukasa was running panicky in circles, trying to communicate with Subaru, or at least give her a signal that the Grunty was actually Tsukasa. Subaru, on the other hand, saw Tsukasa running around in circles and decided it would be fun to ride on Tsukasa like a roller coaster. She was missing the point entirely. 'But at least she's having fun,' Tsukasa thought.
Then, out of the corner of Tsukasa's eyes, she saw something weird and dangerous looking and decided that she would deal with it. Tsukasa was about to do something kinda stupid. She bit her tail, thinking it was an evil creature. 'Maybe,' thought Tsukasa, coming up with a plan to not feel stupid, 'maybe if I don't do anything, she won't notice.' It was like when a cat runs high speed and hits your foot then walks away, pretending that it meant to do that.
Subaru had hopped off Tsukasa when she did that, then Subaru remarked playfully, "That's you TAIL! You don't want to bite it!"
"Shooooop!!" This, of course, meant that Sora had arrived, along with Mimiru, Silver Knight, and Crim. "You see, you see, it's a weird Grunty!"
Mimiru bent down to look at Tsukasa and noticed the Wavemaster hat it wore. "Aww, it's so cute! What's its name?"
"Hey!" exclaimed Tsukasa. "I'm not an IT! I'm a-ah forget, you can't understand anyway!"
Everyone else heard what Tsukasa said like this: "Grunttt! Grummmmble grunta GUMBLE!" followed by several grumbles. This gave Sora an idea.
"It can't even speak properly! We don't want mooooore weirdo Grunties like this running around," then Sora paused, "maybe we should get the Grunty fixed."
This elicited a loud, startling grunt, then Tsukasa ran and hid behind Subaru, despite the fact that Tsukasa was about the size of two Subaru's. Mimiru then scolded Sora for such a suggestion. Then Tsukasa had an idea of how to hopefully get Subaru to recognize him. Tsukasa could do romantic things, the type of things Tsukasa would normally do! Then Mimiru started calling out for the Wavemaster Tsukasa.
"Tsukasaaaaaaaaaa, where are you?"
"Yes, where are you, I love you Tsukasaaaaaaaaa, come back!" yelled out Subaru, making Tsukasa feel warm.
Mimiru, never one to feel undermined, tried to better Subaru. "Oh yeah? Well, I love Tsukasa more!"
"I love Tsukasa twice as much!"
"I love Tsukasa thrice as much!" 'What the hell does thrice even mean?' but that nagging thought wasn't gonna stop Mimiru.
"I love Tsukasa four times as much!"
"I love Tsukasa..." Mimiru paused. What number was she on? Aw, math was so confusing! "...alright, you win this time Subaru, but no more bringing math into this!"
Subaru giggled, but when she looked back, she couldn't find her Tsukasa Grunty anywhere. Where had Tsukasa gone? While she looked for her, she could hear Sora and Mimiru arguing in the background and Crim saying that he thought that Sora and Mimiru made such a cute couple.
'Yes!' thought the Silver Knight, 'with Tsukasa gone, I will be able to woo Lady Subaru! Nothing can stop me now!'
Subaru was still looking for Tsukasa as the SK walked towards her, but then Subaru saw something that she thought was incredibly adorable. Tsukasa, the Grunty form of course, walked up to her, eyes wide with a bouquet of Aromatic Grass in her mouth. The Aromatic Grass bouquet was wrapped in plastic up with 'To the Lovely Subaru' written on it. It was one of the most romantic things Subaru had ever seen, the fact that it came from a Grunty making it better.
Mimiru and Crim and Sora saw it too and Mimiru thought it was incredibly adorable and Sora saw the Silver Knight slap a hand to his head. 'Oh noooo-ooooo! I can't be under-wooed by some Grunty!! This is unbelievable!!'
"Wow, the Tsukasa loved me this much?" Subaru then explained that she had named the Grunty Tsukasa. This gave the Silver Knight an idea. If she loved a bouquet of Aromatic Grass, then surely she's love a BIGGER bouquet of Aromatic Grass!
Silver Knight ran over to a field of Aromatic Grass and tugged it up, but it wouldn't come out! So the Silver Knight done what he thought as a good idea. He got his sword out and chopped all around the Aromatic Grass and chopped the Aromatic Grass then scooped it all up, leaving a dead field.
The Silver Knight ran over to Subaru and turned to face her. "This, uh," then Silver Knight extended his arm and opened his hand, revealing dead, cut, stomped weeds. "These, uh, these dead WEEDS show my love for you!!" beamed Silver Knight.
Subaru had no idea what in the world that was supposed to mean. "Um...thank...you." She did take the torn and ugly weeds though.
Silver Knight just walked and stood beside Sora, feeling slightly dejected. The whole dead weed idea really was a STUPID idea. "Let's seeeeeeee," said Sora, "Grunty: 1. SK: Zeroooooooooo! Well, might as well not hang out with the loooooooser!" Then Sora hopped over near Crim. The Silver Knight knew that everyone in The World had some kind of natural ability in real life. The Silver Knight was positive he had found Sora's natural ability. Sora had the ability to take the lowest point in someone's life and amplify it so that you have a new lowest point in your life.
The Silver Knight would NOT be under-wooed by a Grunty! He had to do something, so he tried thinking of other ways people showed their love for one another. Silver Knight did think it was weird and disturbing that Subaru loved a Grunty and he thought of going over to tell her that she was a freak because of loving a Grunty, then she would realize, then she would thank Silver Knight and love him! 'Man, I am such a genius,' though Silver Knight, not noticing what a stupid, stupid, catastrophic plan this was. Silver Knight was never known for being romantic.
Sora watched the Silver Knight walk over to Subaru and Mimiru, who were petting Tsukasa, then heard the Silver Knight proudly telling Subaru she was a complete weirdo. After hearing Subaru scold Silver Knight, he walked back next to Sora. For some reason, the Silver Knight that for sure that that would work. Sora turned to Silver Knight, "Man, it's sooooooo sad when a girl dumps you for a Grunty. Loseeeeer!"
The Silver Knight watched Sora hop near Tsukasa. 'It's not sad to be dumped for a Grunty!' Silver Knight lied to himself. 'Cripe, he's right!!'
Tsukasa, meanwhile, was getting her belly rubbed by Subaru and Mimiru. Hey, being a Grunty wasn't entirely bad after all! But Tsukasa suddenly had a nagging thought: 'How am I going to bath myself? Oh my God, I'm I gonna have to lick my whole body!? How the hell am I even supposed to get my back!?' How did Grunties usually bath anyway? Then Tsukasa rolled back over onto her feet and looked at Suabru, as if staring at her would get her to realize that the Grunty was Tsukasa. It didn't work! Then Tsukasa looked to the side and saw Mimiru and also saw Sora. Sora was licking his lips with a hungry look in his face. Uh-oh...
Subaru was petting Tsukasa when she looked in the direction Tsukasa was looking and saw Sora. She could've sworn she just heard Sora say "Yummy!" but she really hoped she didn't. She wasn't going to let ANYONE hurt her dear Tsukasa!
Sora, meanwhile, was staring at Tsukasa and could only think of one thing: A1 Steak Sauce. Hmmm, maybe some barbeque, a touch of some sort of spice, a grill! Grilled food was yummy. Tsukasa Stir-Fried, Tsukasa- Loins, Tsukasa-on-Ice. All tasty really. Sora couldn't help it, there was something so tasty looking about this particular Grunty. Sora's blades retracted. Tsukasa ran away. Sora gave chase.
"No Sora! That's a bad Sora! Don't eat the Grunty!" yelled Subaru as she chased after Sora.
"Yeah, don't eat the Grunty! The Grunty makes me think of Tsukasa, whom I love..." Mimiru paused, trying to think of a high number, "...ten times as much as Subaru! Hah, take that Subaru!" Then Mimiru, too, chased after Tsukasa.
'If this Tsukasa is eaten, I can successfully woo Lady Subaru!' though SK, who ran after Tsukasa as well, actually cheering on Sora for a change.
Crim watched this all in mild shock and bewilderment. "I've got some REALLY weird friends. Have you all forgotten about Tsukasa the Wavemaster?!" Then Crim went off to search for the Wavemaster Tsukasa.
Meanwhile, at the field that use to flourish with Aromatic Grass till Silver Knight chopped all their heads off, a little Wavemaster wearing blue visited the field. The blue Wavemaster noticed and big chopped- up field, and couldn't help but question himself with this question: "Hey, where'd all the Aromatic Grass go?"
______________________________________________________________________
Yes, I know this might not be as good as it seemed. Either that or I'm just extremely paranoid, as I usually am when I write a fan fic. I'll end up writing and then think it's not good for some reason, so I'm probably just paranoid. Will Sora eat Tsukasa? Will Silver Knight be able to even out-woo a rock? Well, you'll find out in the next chapter whenever I get to writing it and I hope you liked this chapter. And review if you liked!