Kendall woke suddenly as if someone had shaken her. She rolled over and reached for her husband but found his side of the bed both empty and cold. She sat up and immediately noticed a robe placed conveniently across a chair near the bed and smiled, thinking what a considerate man she had married. Without even looking she was certain that there were at least two complete changes of clothes in the armoire so that she would have a choice of what to wear for the day. After wrapping herself in the robe, she entered the main casita room to find the note she was certain that Zach had left for her.

Zach was seated on the sofa in front of the cold fireplace, his shoulders bowed and his face resting in his hands. Kendall had never seen him look so weary – or so alone. He had always been a solitary man, but she had felt included even in his isolation since their marriage – and she wasn't going to let him start shutting her out. She knelt on the floor before him and pulled his hands from his face.

"Zach? Please, Zach… let me in," she whispered as he looked at her with tired eyes.

When he didn't respond she placed her lips against his and kissed him deeply, feeling an immediate and almost primal yearning for him as she began unbuttoning his shirt. Wrapping her arms around him, she stroked his back with her hands and began placing tantalizing kisses along his neck and shoulders before moving to touch him in ways that she knew would ignite his ardor. She didn't know why he had left their bed, and at that moment she didn't care – she felt a vital need to lose herself in him and to have him do the same in her. Kendall felt as if Zach was trying to withstand her attempts to arouse him and responded by increasing her assault on his senses, proving to them both that he no longer had any defenses against her. She shuddered as he groaned his surrender and she found herself crushed against his body, his lips on hers in a savage kiss – feeling almost as if he were seeking proof of their very existence. Kendall yielded to his urgency while matching it with her own… instinctively knowing that his need for her was different but also craving the intensity of his need. No words were spoken between them as Zach touched her body, sliding off her silken robe while she helped him remove the remainder of his clothing. Once free of those restraints, Kendall continued to inflame him just as he used his hands and mouth to entice her, the fierceness of their passion creating such a frenzied longing that she found herself begging him for release. His knowing hands deliberately drove her to even greater heights until they joined in a volatile climax. Once sated, they lay panting in each other's arms at once exhausted and replete, but still unwilling to break their physical connection. Kendall smoothed her hands across his back with long, slow strokes until she caught his gaze and felt an almost physical jolt from the anguish she saw reflected in them.

She whispered to him, "Please Zach… talk to me. Let me in."

He groaned and pulled her more tightly into his arms, almost as if he was seeking solace. She responded by wrapping herself more tightly around him and they lay quietly together, skin against skin and savoring the touch and feel of their own reality… sensing in that place a sanctuary, and feeling protected from the external world. Kendall didn't understand it, but she felt very protective of Zach at that moment and wanted to keep the rest of the world at bay for as long as possible.

"I'm sorry," he finally said hoarsely, resting his head against hers. "I didn't mean to use you like that."

"You didn't use me, Zach… we did this together," she answered placing feather-like kisses along his cheeks. "Besides… I used you first."

"No… you don't understand… please… forgive me," Zach protested.

Kendall watched emotions play across Zach's face and in his eyes, realizing that something terrible had happened while she slept. Had he been waiting for her to wake, or had he been hiding from her? Searching her memory she vaguely recalled him receiving a telephone call and then kissing her goodbye… but she had no idea what time that had been or what could have occurred since she fell back to sleep. She framed his face with her hands and kissed him gently on the lips before entreating, "Tell me, Zach… I know something happened… you got a phone call… and you left. Tell me the rest… let me in."

"I don't… know how," was his hoarse reply. Zach had been sitting there for hours, imaginings of Ethan's lifeless face swimming before his eyes… thoughts of a car crashing into a tree replaying over and over again in his mind. After leaving Derek in the conference room he had returned to the casita room… and sat on the sofa… unable to force himself out of the hotel and into his car, much less drive himself to Pine Valley and take care of the business of 'identifying the body.' He couldn't find in himself any urgency… Ethan would be just as dead if he did it right away… or waited hours… or even days. It was nothing but a formality – and would not change the fact that his son, a man he had never had the opportunity know or to love, was dead… and he had died hating his father.

In trying to form the words to explain to Kendall about Ethan's death, Zach found her gentle manner to be his undoing and before he knew it his eyes had filled with tears that were spilling onto his cheeks. Without comment or reproach, Kendall kissed his tears and pulled him even closer… he was nearly undone at how she allowed him a grief that she couldn't understand and patiently waited for him to speak. Despite the distress that he was feeling in that moment, though, he began to feel the balm of her gentle compassion… the same compassion that she must have shown Bianca when she thought her child had died or her mother when she had lost her way in her own grief and self-loathing. Kendall Hart Slater had an enormous capacity for love… and he felt a sharp pang of guilt when he grasped that their marriage now denied her the possibility of the love she deserved. That she could care for him so tenderly despite what she had given up… At the same time he realized he was drowning inside himself, but her comfort and care were the only things he could hang onto. If they survived this ordeal, he would make it right… he would help her to find a love she deserved… but at that moment all he could do was hold on tight to what she offered so freely.

Zach took a deep shuddering breath and pulled them both into a seated position with Kendall on his lap, their arms completely wrapped around each other. In her concern for him, she had begun to cry softly herself and they took a few moments to compose themselves before he spoke in barely more than a whisper, "The call… it was from Derek… Chief Frye."

Kendall nodded as if something inside of her was urging her to let Zach speak without interruption or prompting. He was encouraged by her expression and her continued patience in waiting for his explanation, stoking his back with gentle, calming hands. Zach kissed her again before proceeding, "Thank you… for being here… There was a car accident… and Ethan… Ethan… he… he was… killed."

Kendall's response wasn't immediate. She seemed so focused on Zach that for a moment of suspended time his words appeared to hold no meaning. He saw his words hit her full force when she gasped and laid her head against his shoulder, wondering that they appeared to cause her an almost physical pain as she absorbed them. After a moment she lifted her head and Zach nearly flinched from the intensity of her gaze, "So much pain… and loss…"

Before she spoke the words he feared and blamed him for Ethan's death, Zach interrupted her, "I never meant to hurt him, Kendall."

She continued to look at him piercingly before placing a hand on either side of his face and holding it so that he could not shift his gaze from her eyes, "I know that, Zach. A month as your wife has taught me who you are… this was Ethan's war… it was always Ethan's war. Now… tell me the rest."

Zach reached out and pulled at Kendall's robe, helping her into it before sliding into his slacks once again. For some reason he needed the barrier of at least some clothing between them before he told her of Derek's tale… and his suspicions. After telling her everything, she sat quietly for a moment and then pulled him into a tender kiss.

"We're not going to figure this out right now… probably not even today. Have you slept at all?" she said very matter-of-factly.

"No… I didn't want to wake you… but I didn't want to be alone," he answered honestly.

"You'll never be alone again… I'm here with you and I'm not going anywhere," she answered solemnly. "Don't shut me out, Zach… we can get through this together."

He nodded to her sadly, not voicing his knowledge and acceptance that they couldn't be together… she deserved more and better than he had to offer. His gift of gratitude would be her freedom… but he would accept her consolation until he had the strength to push her away… for her own good… to find a love she deserved.