Zach pulled his cell phone from the pocket of his suit coat and answered brusquely, "Slater."
"Hi. Where are you?" was the voice of his wife on the other end of the line.
His face broke into an immediate smile at hearing her voice before answering, "I'm sitting on a bench at the cemetery. Where are you?"
"Zach! I would have stayed with you… why didn't you tell me?" Kendall asked in a concerned tone.
His smile continued. He had known that would be her reaction, but he had felt the need for some time alone after Ethan's funeral. He answered quietly, "I know… but you needed a break from me. Now… tell me where I can meet you because I find that I've had enough of solitude and want to spend some time with my wife."
"I'm in the car… meet me at the condo?" she said with a slight giggle. Her voice turned serious as she continued, "I've got something to tell you."
"Something you don't want to tell me over the telephone," said Zach, glancing at his watch. "Okay… I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes."
They both ended the call quickly and Zach stood, looking pensively at the freshly dug grave of his son. This time alone had resolved none of his conflicting emotions about the relationship with his son in both life and death. How did he say goodbye to the son he had wanted to love and protect… but who he hadn't really even liked? How did he ever reconcile the loss of something that he never really had? He and Ethan had been on a collision course since their first meeting and never once in the brief time they knew each other had they ever had a mutually beneficial conversation. Ethan had met his every overture with suspicion and distrust… and his absolute conviction that his son must be saved from being a Cambias had made him earn them both.
There he stood… the man who had hated his father so much that he had faked his own death and left the man to mourn the loss of his son in a fiery car crash. Now more than twenty years later, he was the father left to mourn his son's passing in an automobile accident. Only this time there was a body, one he had seen lying lifeless in the morgue before being reduced to the same ashes his own body had supposedly become. The irony was not lost on Zach… just as he was well aware that his son had felt the same unreasoning hatred toward him that he had felt toward his own father. The difference was that his father had never recognized the hatred he had toward him, his father had been able to live with the illusion of a much-beloved son who loved him in return… that comfort would be denied Zach. Without a single moment of affection between them, Zach could not pretend even to himself that there had ever been anything except animosity.
As he turned to leave the cemetery his glance fell on the grave of Mona Kane Tyler… beloved grandmother to the women who had become more important to him than his own life. A woman who had not seen or experienced the incredible pain inflicted on those women by the men of his family, but whose presence caused him to feel the need for penance once again. Without regard for any passers by that might happen upon him, he spoke aloud to the woman he had never met, "Mrs. Tyler… I am sorry for the pain and the suffering my family has caused your children. I cannot undo the wrongs committed by my father, my brother and my son… or the pain that I have caused them. But I can promise that I cherish them all and will not allow them to be harmed again."
"Nice words, Zach… if you really mean them," said a woman's voice from behind him.
Zach turned quickly to see a woman who was dearer to him than she had ever allowed him to admit… a woman who had tried to show him the way to peace with his son, but had abandoned him when he could not learn her lessons quickly enough. "Bianca," he breathed. "I'm sorry… I'll leave you to visit your grandmother… in peace."
"No, Zach… wait. I didn't come to see Grandma… I came to see you," she said laying a hand on his arm. "I knew this is where you'd come after the funeral… to spend some time alone with Ethan."
"I've said my goodbyes… there never was very much to be said between us. Kendall's waiting for me at home," he said quietly, not wanting to listen to whatever Bianca had to say to him. He was certain it would be more reproach for the way he had treated his son and he could not bear it.
"I'll only take a minute, Zach… and you can take that look off your face… I promise that I'm not here to scold you. The death of a child is more punishment than any parent should face… I know," she said quietly, seating herself on the bench he had just vacated. She smiled and patted the seat next to her.
Never able to resist a request from Bianca, Zach seated himself and looked at her expectantly, "A minute then."
"Thank you," Bianca answered. "Can I tell you the truth?"
"Bianca… I've never wanted anything less than the truth from you. Please, say what you must," he answered.
She smiled, "Wow… you really are expecting me to tell you off. I'm surprised you even care what I have to say anymore. I haven't been nice to you in a very long time."
"It was nothing more than I deserved… you were just being honest," he said. "Although… your letter… that was pretty cold."
"Yes, it was… and I can see that it hurt you just as much as I hoped it would. I'm sorry… I can be just as much of a bitch as my mother and sister when I want to be," she answered.
"You wouldn't be a Kane if you couldn't… but I'm all out of absolution. I can't forgive myself, and have nothing to share with anyone else. My love for you is unchanged, but I will not ease your conscience by telling you that you were not cruel," he said almost defensively.
"Touché. I guess I deserved that," she replied without rancor. "Would it help at all if I admitted I was wrong?"
Zach looked at her in surprise, "Of all the things I expected to hear from you… that is one that never even crossed my mind."
"Zach… for some inexplicable reason I loved Ethan Ramsey and the idea that he was the good Cambias. I needed to believe in a good Cambias… for the sake of my daughter," she began. When Zach made as if to answer she held up her hand and continued, "When I found out who you are and what you did… I couldn't forgive you. Everything about you… the lies, the deceptions, the denials… told me that you were just another evil Cambias, someone who could taint Miranda and her memory. When Miranda came back to me… despite what I knew in my heart, my head said not to trust you with her. She is too precious."
"I agree… she is much too precious. You are right to protect your daughter from the likes of me," Zach answered quietly.
"No… Zach, that's not what I meant," Bianca answered earnestly, placing her hand on her chest. "My heart knew that you would never hurt me… never hurt Miranda… but my head kept telling me that you were dangerous. I'm trying to tell you that I made a mistake… my heart said to trust you and my head said to trust Ethan – I won't make the mistake of ignoring my heart again."
Zach looked at Bianca in surprise, afraid that her words were just another way that she had found to cause him pain, "You loved Ethan… you gave him something that I never could."
"Ethan Cambias was man driven entirely by vengeance and greed… he was not the man I loved. I wonder now if Ethan Ramsey was real… or an illusion designed to manipulate us all. He became a danger to my daughter in his single-minded pursuit of power and revenge… all his resources were focused on destroying you, and taking from her. Did you know that he was trying to take control of Miranda's share of Cambias?" Bianca answered.
"No… Livia didn't tell me. I wish I could feel surprise… but nothing that my son has done can surprise me anymore," Zach said sadly. He sighed, realizing that even this was more than his bruised emotional state could handle. He said to her, "Bianca… I thank you for your words… they mean more to me than you'll ever know – but Kendall is waiting for me, and I… I just can't do this now."
"Call Kendall… tell her you're with me… she'll understand," Bianca insisted. "This has waited too long already."
Zach nodded, unable to deny Bianca's direct request. He dialed the number and Kendall answered on the first ring, "Zach? Where are you?"
"I'm still at the cemetery… with Bianca" Zach answered softly.
"Let me talk to her," Kendall replied and Zach silently handed the phone to the woman beside him.
Bianca answered, "Kendall… Zach and I…"
"Bianca… now is not the time, Zach's been through enough today. Besides, I need to see him. Please send him home," Kendall said urgently.
Recognizing the tone in her sister's voice, Bianca acquiesced quickly, "Okay… I'll tell him. How's the headache?"
"It'll be better after I see Zach," Kendall answered in irritation.
"Okay… okay… he's on his way," Bianca answered with a short laugh. She disconnected the call and handed Zach his telephone. "Kendall wants you home… now. Can I bring Miranda by this evening? Maybe after dinner? We can finish our conversation then."
Zach's face lit up at the mention of Miranda, "Please… I'd like that." After a moment he asked, "Kendall… is she alright? You mentioned a headache."
"Tension… she gets them when she's trying not to have one of her patented meltdowns," Bianca said with a smile, pleased to see Zach's genuine concern. She had noticed their closeness at the funeral and been surprised… according to her mother Zach had been cold and unfeeling toward Kendall. She and her mother would also be having a conversation because she did not appreciate the way her mother had manipulated her.
"Then it's time for one of my patented backrubs… I wish she had mentioned it," Zach said quietly. "We'll see you… tonight?"
Bianca nodded, "I'll stay here and visit with Grandma for a little while… you go home… to your wife."
Zach quickly rose and left the cemetery and Bianca was gratified at the speed he showed in getting to Kendall. She had a lot of thinking to do… things were definitely not as they had seemed from Paris.