Lana's POV
I wrap my jean jacket closer to my body. Although it's not cold at all, I can't help but shiver in anticipation of what may take place tonight. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but all I know is that it's the beginning of something that I've been waiting for since that fateful day under the oak tree with Clark. Something beautiful…magical…something that can't be simply squashed down to a few adjectives. Some people search for a lifetime for it and never find out. Others find it, and then lose it. I, Lana Lang, am fortunate enough to say that I have found what everyone else is out there looking for. And guess what? It's still in my grasp and for as long as I can, I am never going to let it—or rather, him—go.
I push a lock of hair away from my face as the light breeze billows my dark locks around. We're lucky; it's a cool night compared to the past couple ones. Lately, it's been a scorcher. Seems like spring decided to take an early vacation and let summer take charge.
"Lana?"
Clark's voice brings me out of my reverie and I turn around, putting on a small smile. He returns it with a much bigger one that melts my heart and causes butterflies to flutter in my stomach.
I follow him to through the entrance to the infamous caves. Clark takes out a flashlight from his back jean pocket and flips it on.
It takes some time for my eyes to adjust to the darkness and I suddenly wonder why we have to come here at night. Is it because what Clark has to tell or show me can't be overheard or seen by anyone else? Is it because he's nervous and he's trying to hide it by the blanket of darkness? Or, is it just something as simple as he had other obligations in the day just like I did?
"You think too much."
I turn my attention to Clark and I can see a joking smile on his face. Instead of replying, I take the flashlight from his grip and start leading us deeper in the caves. I'll admit, being here in the dark frightens me, but I know that Clark would never let anything happen to me. All the more reason to love him even more.
"Are you scared?" Clark asks me, standing by my side as I shine the light on the symbols.
Does he have some mind reading ability that I don't know about? I glance at him and again, don't respond. He notices my glance and inches closer to me.
I decide to play along and step closer to him too, my arm touching his. "Just a little bit. Will you hold me?" I say in my best damsel-in-distress act. Usually, I dislike how girls are portrayed as weak and defensiveness—always needing a big, strong guy to save them. But, this time is an exception.
Almost instantly, his arms go around my waist and I lean against him. I'm no longer concentrating on the foreign symbols right in front of us, but on the warmth that his God-like body radiates.
"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" he whispers in my ear, giving me goose bumps.
I gently turn in his embrace so that I'm facing him, my back to the wall. I look into his greenish eyes and am immediately entranced by them.
"Why don't you show me?" I say in a voice that I don't even recognize. It's oddly seductive…not me at all. But then again, Clark brings out emotions in me that I never thought I had.
His lips draw closer to mine, his eyes on my slightly open mouth. But, my eyes on are on his and soon he realizes that, bringing his eyes up to meet mine. I try to convey a message through my eyes to him: What are we doing?
Instead of replying, he eagerly lowers his head and his mouth hungrily attacks mine. It isn't one of his usual tender, soft kisses, but a desirous and passionate one. I gasp against his mouth, not used to him kissing me this way—but I don't mind at all.
He's panting now and so am I. Suddenly; I am up against the wall, his hands timidly exploring my body. As much as I'm enjoying his sudden desire for me and my body, I know that I need to stop this before both of us lose our cool all together. So, I gently put my hands on his chest and pull my mouth away from his. His hands have stopped their exploration of my body and are resting on my hips.
For a few moments, I'm afraid to look at him and instead, take his hands off my hips and hold them. Soon, I can feel him responding, squeezing my hands tenderly.
"Lana?" His voice comes off as hoarse and he clears his throat. I can sense an apology ready at his lips, but I shake my head and bring a finger to his lips.
No words are spoken. They don't need to be.
Clark grasps one my hands tighter and reaches to the ground, picking up the flashlight that I had dropped in my haze. I follow him in silence as he leads me deeper into the caves. We stop once we hit a wall and the end of the cave.
"Clark?" I ask quietly, noticing that he's studying the wall with intense concentration.
He views me for a second before shining the light directly at the wall. There are no symbols on this wall. My curiosity mounts as he begins to speak.
"Lana, do you remember when I was missing last summer?"
My eyebrows knit together, wondering how I could ever forget. Last summer in Paris was the best and the worst. I had a wonderful time in a new city with new people, but as the weeks grew into months, I was beginning to miss Smallville. Especially the farm boy who had stole my heart in my freshman year. Once I caught wind from a frantic Mrs. Kent that Clark was missing, I went into a deep state of depression. My new friends tried to cheer me up, but most of the time, I didn't understand half of what they were saying and I'm sure that it was vice-versa. And to top it off, two of my other friends were poisoned and presumed dead. It was then that I knew I had to return to Smallville.
So, I caught the nearest plane ride back home and miraculously, when I arrived at the Kent Farm, Clark Kent was indeed, well and alive. I could've hugged him right there and then, but decided against it. That was the beginning to our awkward relationship. It wasn't until a week ago that we started talking again. If someone had told me in the fall of last year that Clark and I would be standing here, holding hands, I would have never believed them. But, here we are.
"Lana?"
I blink and look up to find Clark's eyes studying me. It's hard to tell what he's thinking at the moment because of the lack of light.
"I remember," I simply tell him. I can feel him squeeze my hand slightly, and then release it. He walks up to the wall and places his palm on it.
I'm about to ask what he is doing, when he speaks up again.
"Lana…for three months, I was stuck in here," his says gravely.
Instead of getting more answers, my mind conjures more questions. "Stuck in…there?" I gesture vaguely at the wall that his hand is on.
He nods and I get the impression that there's more to this than meets the eye. I come to a decision to let him take his time revealing all there needs to know about Clark Kent. I saw how nervous he was last night and I now feel some regret for putting him on the spot. For as long as I live, I never want to see Clark squirm like that again…. It breaks my heart to know that I'm responsible for his squirming. But after last night, I know not to push. Instead, I wait patiently for him to continue.
"Lana, do you remember the stuff that I told you last night? About being from another planet—Krypton?"
I nod. "How could I forget?" I say quietly.
"Well…" He pauses for a moment, staring at the cave wall. "I don't know exactly how to put it…" Clark scratches the back of his neck nervously.
I know that I made a decision to let him take his time, but if I keep on doing that, we'll be stuck here the whole night and possibly the rest of tomorrow. I stifle a yawn and walk up to him, taking his hand again. I'll admit; I'm drained from last night, our morning activities, and my shopping date with Chloe. Even though my mind is fully awake, my body is telling me that sleep is required if I want it to function properly tomorrow. So, I give Clark's hand a quick squeeze, subtly telling him to keep going on.
Apparently, he took notice of my earlier attempts to stifle my yawn. Although I can't see it in the dark, his expression is one of concern.
"Lana, maybe we should─"
I shake my head firmly, knowing that if we stop now, we may never find the strength to do this again. Dragging ourselves to the caves in the middle of the night, Clark finally opening to me, and I standing by his side, patiently waiting for him to share his innermost feelings and thoughts to me. No—we may never be able to do this again. At least, I know I won't be able to.
At this point, I decide that maybe Clark needs a little encouragement. It was never clear what my reaction was to him being an alien.
"Clark?"
"Hmm?"
I pull him so that he's facing me in the dark. I can't make heads or tails of his facial features, but I need him facing me so that I know that I have his full attention.
"Clark, I love you," I state simply.
"I love you too," he says softly.
"Good," I tell him. "Because I'm not going anywhere. Clark, I don't care if you're from the moon or from the dinosaur era. None of that matters because when you love someone, you love them unconditionally with all your heart. You being from another planet has nothing to do with my feelings for you. I love you," I hopefully drill into his head.
He takes an unsteady breath and that's my cue to press on.
"I'll admit that I was a bit freaked out at first. I mean, you can't blame me. Who would've thought that you of all people were from another planet? Clark Kent, the all-American, flannel-wearing farm boy. But then I realized that I was acting exactly the way that you didn't want me to react. All I could see at first were little green men, but then under all that, you were still the same. I mean, you hadn't—couldn't have changed right in front of me. You're still kind, brave, and selfless. You still put others before your own safety and you make it a point to be open to different people. And instead of just hiding, you decide to use your gifts to help others. Do you get what I'm saying? You're still the boy next door and all that. You've been through the laughter, pain—everything with me─"
"Lana."
"…and you've always been there for in even in the most confusing─"
"Lana."
"─times of my life. I can't ever imagine─"
"Lana!"
I stop in mid sentence and realize that I've been babbling to myself for the few past minutes. Not only was I sharing my thoughts, but I was trying to sort them aloud too.
"Sorry," I say.
"It's okay."
I wait for him to say something else, but when he doesn't, I decide to do a quick recap out loud.
"Okay…so you're from another planet—Krypton—and for some reason you were sent here during the meteor shower." I pause and wait for him to add anything. When he doesn't, I continue. "My guess is that your parents found your space ship on the farm and took you in."
"Actually, I found them," Clark says, his voice coming out hoarse.
"You found them?" I ask, prompting him to continue.
"They were driving back from the flower shop when their truck was overturned by a meteor. Mom says that Dad was the first to see me." He sighs and slides down to sit on the cool cave floor. I follow his actions and sit as close to him as possible. I can tell that this is hard for him—opening up to me. It's clear that he's probably spent his entire life bottling up his emotions and hiding himself from the world. I can only hope that by the time he's done opening up to me, some of that burden that he's carrying on his shoulders will be lifted.
"So, my parents took me back to the farm and soon after, they faked adoption papers for me with the help of Lionel Luthor."
"Lionel Luthor?" I ask, surprised. Considering that the Kents have had more fall-outs with the Luthors than I probably know about, it's hard to believe that Lionel Luthor would help them out. But then again, this all happened in the past. Maybe the circumstances surrounding Clark's adoption caused the huge rift between the Kents and the Luthors. I mean, I even see Clark and Lex drifting apart and they used to be best friends.
"Did you always know that you were…you know?" I question Clark after a while.
"Well, I always knew that I was different. Ever since I was little…" He trails off and picks at the ground with a stick.
"It must have been hard growing up," I say, my heart feeling for him. Now I'm beginning to understand why opening up to people has never been one of his strong suits.
"It was," Clark says quietly. "I remember always wondering why I couldn't play with the other kids…or why they always had big birthday parties and I didn't. After a while, I guess I got used to it. But, it still didn't change the way that I felt…like I was some freak who wouldn't fit in. Even now, I feel that way sometimes. Like I'm all alone." He swallows hard and I can tell that he's struggling not to cry. I'm finding it difficult not to cry along with him.
"You're not alone, Clark," I tell him sincerely, taking his hand in mine. My hand is so much smaller than his, but they seem to fit perfectly; like our hands were made to fit the other. "I love you and so do your parents. I'm sure that your parents had their reasons for isolating you from the other children."
He nods. "I know they did…my mom apologized to me everyday and tried to explain to me why they had to keep me away from the other kids. They didn't want anyone coming to the farm and taking me away. She told me that if that ever happened, I would never see them again. The thought of not seeing them ever again really struck me hard, so I succumbed to their rules. Eventually, they let me play with Pete. But, I never quite understood why until I got older."
I lower my eyes and think back to my childhood, comparing his and mine. And I always thought I had the more difficult one. Don't get me wrong, I love Nell, but she wasn't exactly my mother. We were more like sisters. She was the older one that bossed me around and I was the younger one, always disobeying her and finding ways to make life harder for her. Despite our odd relationship, I knew that she loved me and vice versa.
But, after hearing Clark's childhood, I'm beginning to appreciate mine a lot more. Sure, Clark had the perfect parents growing up, but it didn't change the fact that he couldn't have birthday parties or play dates. Nell used to spoil me rotten with parties and play dates. She'd go around town, looking for any mother who was willing to let their daughter play with me for the day. I was a lonely child growing up and she sensed that I needed a friend. So, she found Emily. Emily and I had a lot of fun dancing in the rain and playing with dolls. I can't imagine growing up and only having your parents to play with. Mrs. Kent is sweet and all, but she was a busy woman, cooking and baking for the family. Mr. Kent, as I recall, was always working in the fields, trying to provide for his family.
I notice that Clark is also silent, lost in thought like me. After a moment, he breaks the silence.
"Lana, do you remember the night that we officially talked?"
A smile tugs at my mouth, remembering the night as if had just happened yesterday. "Yes, I do. I was at my parents' graves, talking to them when I caught you sneaking around the woods."
He actually laughs a little. "I wasn't sneaking around…I was hiding."
"Hiding from what?" I ask, looking back on that fateful night. I'm not exactly sure when I started falling for him, but I can still remember the sparks from that night. It was something that I had never experienced before and I sure as hell had never experienced them with Whitney. Whitney, may he rest in peace, never could make my heart beat faster like Clark Kent could.
"Hiding from my parents," Clark answers me.
"Your parents?" I ask, recalling that he was crying a bit that night. It was one of the few times that I had ever seen him cry. He normally keeps his emotions to himself.
"You asked me before if I had always known that I was…from another planet…and well…I found out that night."
"You mean you had never known until then?" I ask him, feeling him shift positions so that he is a bit more comfortable on the hard cave floor.
"No. I mean, I had always known that I had abilities that no one else had. I could lift up the tractor with one hand, run from the farm to school in a matter of seconds, and I still had the energy afterwards to do all my chores. But, that night…I found out that I really was different. I was truly alone."
I'm about to protest to his last statement, but he interrupts me.
"Until I ran into you at the cemetery. I might have mentioned this to you in passing…but I've…uh…liked you ever since I was five."
I turn my head in his direction and try to make out his expression, but it's too dark. Despite the lack of light, I know that there's a blush on his boyish cheeks. I giggle softly at his admission, thinking how adorable he must have been when he was five.
"And after hearing, at the time, the most ridiculous tall-tale from my parents, I thought, what were the chances of bumping into Lana Lang? But there you were. It was like fate…or whatever you want to call it."
Clark pauses and picks up the flashlight off the ground. He pulls me up to my feet and once again, we face the cave wall.
"My parents finally showed me the ship that brought me here. They hid it in the storm cellar from me for fourteen years...and I had no idea."
"Your life all changed in one moment, huh?" I say silently.
"Everything that I thought I knew…it all changed," Clark says, shining the beam of light at the wall. "All of a sudden, I had all these questions. Why did my biological parents send me here? Did they ever love me? What happened to my home planet?" he says with a hint of sadness in his tone.
"Did you ever find the answers to your questions?"
In the faint light, I see him nod. "In our sophomore year, this scientist, I guess you could call him, contacted me. His name was Dr. Virgil Swann. I went to visit him in New York and he told me some pretty weird things. Like I was from Krypton and I was sent to earth for a reason. I didn't believe him then. But then, a while after my visit, I met my biological father."
Okay, now he's lost me. "But…didn't you say last night that Krypton is gone?"
"Yeah, but I guess that Jor-el—my biological father—found a way to preserve himself or his thoughts. It's not really him, but a memory of him. I don't quite understand it myself…. Jor-el told me that I was sent to earth to conquer."
I can feel those headaches coming…. I rub my head and sigh. "Is that why you ran away? Because of what…Jor-el said?"
Clark pauses and I can tell that what he has to say next is going to be difficult. "Lana…I don't think if you know this, but my mother was pregnant around the end of our sophomore year. I…I kept hearing voices of Jor-el and figured that if I destroyed the ship, it would put an end to all my troubles…. But instead, it got worse."
He lowers the flashlight to the floor and I realize that he doesn't want me to see him crying. I remember the day that I found him next to the destroyed storm cellar. He was spewing off nonsense and I couldn't make heads or tails of what he was saying. He seemed so helpless…I wanted to take him into my arms and assure him that everything would be alright, but instead, he pushed me away.
I fight the instinct to give him a hug and let him continue, knowing that if I stop him, he'll never finish.
"Lana…Mom lost the baby. It was my fault. I didn't know what to do…so I ran away to Metropolis. I put on a school ring and it masked my feelings for you and for Mom and Dad. I'll never forget the look in my dad's eyes…he was so heartbroken…."
He's crying freely now and I gingerly take him into my arms, allowing him to cry unto my shoulder. "It wasn't your fault, Clark…you couldn't have known what destroying the ship would do." He doesn't reply and I don't add anything.
After a couple of minutes, he's finally calm down. I'm relieved because I'm about to start crying too…seeing him like this has only tugged at my heartstrings.
He lifts his face off my shoulder and I wipe the remainder of his tears away, overjoyed that he's not pulling away.
Clark starts speaking again, this time in a flat tone which worries me. He fills me in on where he was last summer…stuck in a cave wall learning about the history of Krypton and its people. To my delight, he informs me that he hasn't told anyone about this including his parents. I'm glad that he's finally learning to open up. I want to be there for him, but I can't until I know what's going on behind that shield of armor that he's constantly wearing.
After he's finished, we fall silent once again. We're now sitting on the floor, Clark's head leaning on me. I can tell that he's emotionally drained and so am I.
"Clark?" I nudge him and he raises his head from my shoulder. This time, I pull him up and off the floor. "C'mon; let's go home," I say softly.
We hold hands as we walk out. The sky is pitched black and I know that Clark needs to get back to the farm before his parents find out that he's missing.
"You want me to drive?" I ask as we pause at his truck.
He nods gratefully and I slide into the driver's seat while Clark sits shotgun.
I drive back to the Kent Farm in silence and suddenly realize that we have a dilemma. How am I going to get back to the Talon?
I glance at Clark and he's looking out the window, although I have no idea what he's looking at since it's completely dark. I know that I can't turn around and drive myself back to the Talon. Who will drive Clark back to the farm then? I doubt that he's in any shape to drive.
I decide that I'll worry this later and just concentrate on getting us to the farm.
We arrive there thirty minutes later and Clark sluggishly gets out of the truck. I kill the engine and follow him.
"Lana?"
I stop.
"How are you going to get back to the Talon?" he asks me, noticing that I'm still with him. He moves closer to me and I shrug.
"I'll call Chloe for a ride…or maybe you could lend me your truck?" I suggest, knowing that the first option is out. Chloe would flay me alive if I called her at midnight, the time that it is now.
Clark appears thoughtful and then he simply states, "Come in with me."
I must have not heard right. Did he just invite me in?
From the faint light coming from the porch of the yellow house, his eyes widen, realizing the double meaning behind his words.
"I mean—not for anything─"
"It's okay, Clark," I say, smiling a bit. "I'll borrow the truck if that's okay with you…." I trail off to stifle a yawn.
Instead of replying, he pulls me close to his warm body, enveloping me. "You're not going anywhere tonight, Ms. Lang."
I giggle, surprised at his upbeat attitude. "Is that an order, Mr. Kent?"
"Yes it is. We'll camp out in the loft tonight. I'll grab some sheets from the house for a makeshift bed for me and you can take the couch."
I nod, too tired to protest. The next thing I know, he's carrying me in his strong arms, up the stairs of the loft. I lie on the couch and try to wait for him to bring the blankets, but sleep pulls me in. Soon, I am drifting in the realm of dreams, thinking about a certain farm boy.