AN: I'm so glad you're enjoying this fic...I hope you're coming back for more!

samuraistar: Thanks for the awsome reveiw, it was a definate moral booster! sorry for the cliffhanger, but a writer's gotta do what a...nevermind. ; P

crazybluephantom: Well, then,I had better update before you do...something...to me! Yikes!

Hyperactivley Bored: LOVE THE NAME! Very a 'la Sheen!

NeT; Numba1JimmyFan: uh...okay!

Switchback: Because he wants his golf clubs back. Duh. ; )

LadyEsca: Hello again! Yes, we fangirls are all duely saddened when a J/C moment passes...we wish it was us! (Everytime Jimmy and Cindy fight, a cute little fangirl fairy dies! SOB!)

pokey: Dude. Thanks!

alliwantislove: Refering to your name: don't you want anything else? Like food? Or a million dollars? ...wow,I envy you.

acosta pérez josé ramiro: You said it! (thanks for coming back again!)

CindyVortex9: You should feel sorry, Cindy! You're such a heartbreaker! Wait, you're not the real Cindy! IMPOSTER! Meh...ignore my wierdness, please.

Readrbug21: Hello again! (Hands Readrbug21 a tissue box) Here you go- and another chapter too!

Elynsynos 18: Thank you so much for the wonderful review, I really apreciate the extra time it takes to bespecific and helpful. Come and get yer second helping of J/C angst goodness!

Soul Raider 116: Hello, again. (wow, lots of returners!...is that a word? It is now!) Thanks! I was hoping Cindy wasn't too...out there, you know?

quietthinker: Thank you very much! I like your name!

ignite444: Hi! (waves) Thanks!

Disclaimer: What ravages of spirit conjured this temptuous rage. Created you a monster, broken by the rules of love.
And fate has led you through it, you do what you have to do. - Do What You Have To Do (Sarah McLachlan)

Note: The song above is SO perfect for this chapter- I almost mde it a songfic chapter, but I'm trying to not fall into that with EVERY story I write...hard as it is. My point here is that if you own the song, listen to it while reading!

Chapter 2

The silence in the air shifted around her, pressure-filled.

She wiped away the tears as she sat on her bed, letting the air fall from her lungs. She couldn't think- couldn't do anything but watch the wind sway the trees outside her window.

"What now?" a voice inside her asked, as she buried her face in her hands. "I don't know!" She screamed in response, within herself. Attempting digression from for thoughts, she looked around her room. Her gaze fell upon her bedside table, solid oak.

"My diary…" she thought to herself, as her fingers reached out to feel the smooth surface of the top. As if it had a mind of it's own, her hand reached under the table for the key, held by tape to the peripheral edge. Moving swiftly, she unlocked the drawer and pulled it to her softly. Reaching inside without looking, she pulled a tattered leather square from the core of the containment center. She smoothed her hands over the texture of the skin, loosening it's strap.

"Dear diary-", the first page she fell upon announced, "Today Jimmy-" Her face contorted into an expression of pain. She turned th page, leaving him behind.

"Jimmy is so-"

"I hate it when Jimmy-"

"I wish Jimmy-"

With every page, her heart sank lower in her chest. Why did he have to dominate her thoughts?

She would never forget his cruelty tonight.

"I wish he-" But, she wouldn't allow herself to think it- to wish it- to finally admit aloud what she felt every time she thought of him.

Until she glanced down at the page that fell open to her.

"Dear Diary-

…Why can't I tell him how I feel? Why do I have to hide like this?

Would it be so horrible to finally admit that I admire him? Care about him? Him, with his stupid hair…and dumb lab… and pathetic athletic skill…

…and sweet smile…and wild imagination…and deep eyes…

Why do I feel this way? Couldn't I have fallen for some other guy?

…Truth is, diary, I don't know. Maybe that's why I'm scared. I don't know what this is- why I feel it, either. But, most of all, I don't know what he would say…or what I would do if he turned me away.

Libby says I'm brave and bold.

I wish she were right…

She continued to read, until finally the blurriness of the tears filling her eyes was too much to overcome. She shut the book, closing the strap with dexterity.

"All these years…and I've never had the courage.", she thought, as she put the book back into her drawer. As she fastened the lock, her eyes fell on the picture that graced the shelf above her lamp. Her graduation cape swirled about her as she turned to face her classmates, caps in the air.

She reached out for it, hand turning back at the last moment as her eyes caught the corner of the picture, where they always did.

"He's always there," she convinced herself without difficulty. "Just out of my reach…"

The wind, her steady companion to her thoughts, brushed the drapes that hung over her window. They rustled obligingly. Her eyes drifted to them…to the first of many holes he had left for her just moments…lifetimes…ago.

She rose from her spot, motionlessly. Rushing slowly to it, she leaned her head against the edging softly.

"What if…" she wondered, "what if I could stop caring? If I could just let him go?"

She looked out into the night, her mind and her heart fighting out a bloody battle within her. She lifted her head, closing her eyes as the wind caressed her tear-streaked face.

Eventually, there would be a casualty.