A.N. Just a short update. A longer one will come soon. Thanks for the reviews.
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"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing what to do is the worse kind of suffering." -Paulo Coelho
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Twenty five hours. Twenty five long hours since she's had a fix. She's had twenty five hours of actual feeling.
The past day has been the worse of her life and that's saying a lot. She could barely move. It hurt to breathe.
Blood would drip from her nose like a running faucet. She would have hot flashes one minute and get cold flashes
the next. She wants it to stop. She wants every thing to stop. So here she is, sitting on her bed staring at the
syringe that made every thing stop and begin all at once. She sits here unknowing whether to break a promise or
give in; become weak. Her concentration is broken by a knock on her door.
"Marissa?"
Marissa quickly picks up the materials and places them in her drawer. "Come in."
Summer comes in and notices a guilty looking Marissa sitting on her bed. "What were you doing?"
"Nothing." Marissa answers quickly.
"Marissa."
"What?"
"What were you doing?"
"Nothing." Marissa says truthfully.
"Ok. Well, do you want to head over to Fashion Island? Do a little shopping there?"
"Uhhh, sure. Let me just take a quick shower."
"Great. I'll just go catch up with your mom or something."
"Good luck."
Summer walks out of the room. Marissa grabs her stuff for the shower. As she opens the desk drawer for something she sees the tools. She looks around the empty room, grabs the materials, hides them in her towel and heads to the bathroom. She locks the door behind her. She sets down her things and grabs the dangerous materials. She takes the tourniquet and wraps it around her upper arm. As she waits for her veins to ripen she looks up at the mirror. She sees an image she never wished to see; she's staring at what seems to be a lost cause. She stares back at her reflection. She looks so foreign. She looks down at the syringe on the sink and suddenly tears begin to form in her eyes. She looks down at her inner arm to see her veins ready and willing. She quickly takes off the tourniquet and throws it at the mirror. She begins to sob into her hands. The beginning of the summer she was waiting; waiting for everything in her life to get better. It never did. She then went on to trying to forget everything. It worked for a while, but in the end, it all came crashing back. But now, she's out of options known to her. She doesn't know.