III.
what's left of me,
i'll give to you..
and if next to me,
is all that you need to be
would you settle for fantasy,
if it's the best you could do?
John Mayer - Break Away
--
"I heard Malfoy was brought in here yesterday."
It was Harry's weekly visit.
Hermione looked at him from underneath her matted tangles of hair. It was anyone's guess when she had last brushed it.
Harry was examining his shoes as he went on, oblivious that Hermione was looking at him. "His case has been assigned to one of the top Healers... apparently he wasn't coping too well in the muggle world. Not after what Voldemort did to him."
Hermione's eyes examined Harry's face quizzically.
"I know it's Malfoy we're talking about, but I still can't help but feel bad for h--"
He was interrupted by the door to Hermione's room opening. Hermione quickly averted her gaze to the floor as a young blonde wizard stuck his head in.
"Mr. Potter, sir, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I can't remember what the proper procedure is when reporting a violation of the International Statute of Secrecy--"
Harry rolled his eyes and smiled at Hermione. "Alright, Ainsley, I'll be out in a minute." Ainsley nodded and closed the door. "My trainee," Harry explained. "He's going to be taking his final auror exams later this week, and he's been bugging the hell out of me with questions all day." Harry cleared his throat. "I guess I'd better get going."
Hermione felt Harry's hand pat her shoulder reassuringly.
--
The doors in ward 50 were never locked. The Forlorn didn't exactly wander the halls alot, since most of them weren't even aware they were alive.
Hermione paced her room for the sixth night in a row, wondering about Malfoy. It was the first time since she had been admitted to St. Mungo's that she had wondered about anything other than Ron, or what her life might had been like if he were still alive.
It was also the first time that Hermione ever left her room.
Echoing the Healers steps, she walked down the hallway where she had seen them take Malfoy.
Turning around the familiar corner, she saw only one shabby black door at the end of a longer, narrower hall.
--
He was sitting on an armchair in front of a large window. The instant he had heard the doorknob turn, he whipped his eyes away from the busy street below, expecting that the Healers had come back to ask him more inane questions.
The door creaked open, and through the small crack he saw the bushy hair and hazel eyes that he hadn't seen for years.
"Granger..?" He got up and advanced slowly towards her, "What the hell ..are you doing here?"
Hermione abruptly found herself standing inches away from Draco Malfoy. His voice brought back all the horrible memories from school she was constantly trying to forget. His insults, his stares, ..Ron.
She couldn't remember what possible reason she might have had for going to see him. She desperately tried to look anywhere but into his eyes. He grabbed her face and forced her eyes to meet his.
"Mudblood, I asked you a question."
Wrenching her face out of his hands, she suddenly found herself running back towards her room. Slamming the door behind her, she sank down onto the floor, shaking.
--
Malfoy stood staring after her. What was that mudblood bitch doing here? In patients' robes? His eyes narrowed as he started teeming with anger.
At that moment, hatred exploded inside him. He hated everything. He hated this hospital and it's stupid fucking Healers. He hated that muggle mental hospital that he had been forced to spend three years in. He hated Snape for first binding his magic and making him live in the muggle world and then getting himself killed before revealing his location, leaving him at the mercy of muggles. But most of all, he hated fucking Harry Potter, the Gryffindor Golden Boy and his fucking friends, especially that mudblood whore Granger.
Before he knew what he was doing, he was running after her.
--
She didn't know if she had heard him come in. She didn't know how long he had been standing there.
All she knew was that she turned around, and one second, she was looking at him standing in the doorway, and the next, he was on top of her. And she punched and pushed and kicked untill her arms and legs coudn't struggle anymore. Involuntary tears crinkled out of the corners of her eyes as her mind screamed helplessly at her aching body to keep fighting. Between heaving gasps, he asked her if he was the second to have her.
'Have.' That was the word he used. That was the word Ron had used too.
---
"This is it."
The mood at The Headquarters was tense and thick with anticipation.
Hermione glanced over at Harry. He was staring determinedly at the floor. Lupin continued with his speech.
"Moody, Tonks, Snape and I will go in first to take out as many Death Eaters as possible. Thirty minutes later, Kingsley and Harry will follow."
Hermione snapped her head over to face Lupin. "What about us?"
Lupin opened his mouth to answer, but Harry spoke first.
"You've already helped me enough..." He looked at Ron, who was sitting next to Hermione. "You know the prophecy. This is my battle."
"Don't be stupid, mate," Ron said. "We're coming with you."
---
Hermione opened her eyes. At first, she couldn't remember why she was so sore, or why her eyes felt swollen, as if she had been crying for hours the night before. Then, as she heaved herself up into a sitting position, she noticed the rips and tears in her robes, and her eyes welled up as she remembered.
--
Draco told himself that the first time he did it, it wasn't because he had wanted to. It wasn't as if he enjoyed it.
And the second time he did it, he told himself it was just to torture her.
He was running out of excuses the third and fourth time.
The fifth time, she touched him back.
---
Harry hadn't visited her in three weeks.
---