CHAPTER TWELVE, Doushitara Jibun No Koto O Daisuki Ni Narerun Darou Nante
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REST OF THE LYRICS: Kaze Ga Fuku Hi, by Maaya Sakamoto.
doushitara jibun no koto o daisuki ni narerun darou nante
motto motto jibun no koto o daisuki ni nareru nara
mita koto mo nai asa ya kiita koto nai uta
atta koto mai jibun ni aeru ka mo shirenai
hitori yogari na kotoba narabete
isogu sugita tte ii ja nai oitaterareru you ni
maeburenai kimochi ga kokoro ni
afurete kitan dakara
konna ni oshi yosete kitandakara demo
What should I do? "I think I may be falling in love with you", did you say?
"More and more, I may be falling in love with you"
If that's so...
The morning I haven't seen, the song I haven't heard.
The self I haven't met- Who knows, I may be able to meet after all.
Arrogant words line up in my mouth
"We're going too fast", it isn't good for us ...I may be driving him away
These feelings I'd heretofore never experienced,
They come flooding towards me,
onwards, relentless, but still...2
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything but the plot, 'kay?
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REVIEWS:
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Wow, I'm a senior! war whoop
By the way, there is a line from one of my other fics that you will recognize if you've read anything other than this! Look for it, and review if you know it!
By the way, this block is really hurting my soul.
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ANSWERS TO GENERAL QUESTIONS:
"Snape-sensei?"
"Yes?" was the answer to the tentative question.
"Will you please tell me…" Gohan began, looking nervous, "Why you hate Lupin so much? Do not take offense, but it does seem a bit irrational. Will you please tell me?" Severus glared, startling the hybrid into silencing himself.
"That is none of your business." he snarled angrily, "None at all." He swiftly turned back to his potion. "Go away."
Gohan blinked, still a bit put-off by the man's attitude, before the expression was replaced with a rather irritated one.
"Okay then." he said shortly, and left the room in a whirl of fabric. Severus blinked, not expecting that reaction. Then he shrugged.
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Still rather annoyed, Gohan plopped himself on the grass inside Gazer's pen. Everyone was out at Hogsmeade for the day, Harry included (having that cloak did certainly have it purposes), but he had decided to stay back, after the other two had promised to bring him back loads of candy.
What is on your mind, my little foal? Gazer inquired mildly, and Gohan stared up into his gentle face, before a wistful smile grew on his face.
"I think I need to go for a ride. Would you mind terribly?"
Not at all, little one. Hop on. Gazer ordered, making the equivalent of a unicorn smile as the boy mounted flawlessly, and the unicorn circled around and began briskly trotting, before breaking into a smooth canter, tail flowing behind him like a silver banner and soaring easily over Hagrid's fence. However, instead of breaking down into a slower gait like he normally would, Gazer only sped up, switching into the faster gallop, leaping logs and ducking under branches.
"Whoa, easy, easy!" Gohan exclaimed, surprised, "What's your rush?"
Gazer didn't answer, and the only thing the child could do was hold on, fingers gripping tightly onto the satin mane, until the unicorn decided to slow. Eventually, Gohan gave up protesting and bent down lower so that his face was almost resting on Gazer's neck, bringing his hands up, and thrusting his heels down firmly, putting as little pressure on the flighty animal's back as he knew how and making himself as light as possible.
Suddenly, Gazer let out a high, shrill trumpeting neigh, that echoed through the forest and temporarily made Gohan ears go a bit fuzzy and leapt, strides digging roughly into the moist earth and sending up clumps of moss and dirt. Nevertheless, he was enjoying the freedom he was being offered and eagerly clicked his tongue, inciting Gazer to speed ahead, finally breaking through the brush and bursting into a large clearing.
Gohan immediately gaped.
Little foal, does this not make you happy? Gazer inquired, I wasn't quite sure of what to get you, seeing as I am a unicorn, and you are…not, but this is from all of us whom you have helped or affected in some way. The unicorn murmured, nuzzling the boy's neck. Happy birthday.
There in the middle of the clearing was a gigantic tree about as large as the Whomping Willow. In the tree was a large house made of wood and stones that looked as if they had come from the bottom of the lake. There were several windows on the three floors, a rope ladder, and a large door. Gohan's jaw dropped, and stayed there.
Your Padfoot did the actual building. Gazer commented, But he was too embarrassed to come here and show you himself. The wuss.
"Siri-san did this?" Gohan stammered, wide-eyed, "He didn't need to do this for me. He really didn't."
"But I wanted to." A voice said from behind him. The hybrid whirled to see a rather embarrassed looking Sirius standing there, cheeks a light pink. "I wasn't sure what you liked, but I was still worried about what you were going to do when the year ends. Besides, it wasn't like I had anything else to do and-wha?" He trailed off when suddenly he had a saiyan throwing his arms around him. Gohan was so short that he only came up to Sirius' chest, and embarrassed, the man hugged him back, kneeling down a bit to do it.
"Thank you." Gohan whispered, "Thank you so much."
"Hey, it's no problem, kid." Sirius replied, blushing again. "Don't thank me for doing something anyone should."
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"Doushitara jibun no koto o daisuki ni narerun darou nante, motto motto jibun no koto o daisuki ni nareru nara….." Gohan sang out joyfully about a week later. Draco scowled at him.
"Could you please at least make an honest attempt to be a Slytherin?" he complained, "Besides, we have finals coming up, why are you so happy?" Gohan beamed.
"Because I think I'll do well, and I'm excited about what's to come." the hybrid answered honestly, and Draco blinked. "What?" he asked at the questioning look.
"I just don't get you." Draco said in bemusement, "How can you be so straightforward about things like that?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what you want. It's like, no matter what happens, nothing phases you. No matter what happens, you always find a way to turn around to suit you." Draco's voice was slightly wistful. "Truthfully, it's been the only thing of Hero's that I really want." Gohan by then had stopped short, mouth open, eyes wide.
"Are you kidding!" he suddenly burst out, "ME, know what I want?" A slightly bitter laugh. "I have no idea of what I want. And when I do, something always comes up and screws me over, like, I don't know, my fucking father losing his damn mind and deciding that the only way to ease his own damn pain was to kill his fucking kid! Oh yeah, that's getting exactly what I wanted!" The hybrid's voice had upped to a shout, and Draco reeled back, before narrowing steel eyes.
"Did you fight today?" he asked calmly, watching as the other boy shook his head angrily. "That's why. Go and calm down, then we'll talk. Got it-?" he trailed off as a Aoi's paw suddenly shot out and tugged at his pant leg. She shook her head in negatory. "What's she talking about?" he asked suddenly, and Gohan's gaze traveled to his insistently scowling pokemon, before shrugging.
"I have no idea." he asked, and Draco glared.
"Liar."
It would be an interesting sight for anyone walking by at that moment. Two boys, one in robes and a green and silver tie, the other in loose gi pants and a tight black shirt. One of them much taller than the other, with platinum blonde hair and eyes of steel, shouting furiously at the shorter, more slender boy with long ebony hair tied up in a ponytail who was scowling daggers at him. Sporadically, his fists clenched.
"Would you just leave me alone, damn you?" Gohan spat.
"No way in hell, I'd be a Gryffindor before I'd do that." Draco returned, a firm tone sliding into his voice like the silkiest velvet.
"I'd be fine if you'd left me alone!" the hybrid snarled. Draco scoffed.
"You? Fine? I think not! You're flying completely off the handle over one simple comment! I DON'T FIND THAT FINE AT ALL!" Gohan abruptly reeled back as if he'd been hit, eyes wide at the boy's outburst He wasn't even aware that he was standing outside right in front of Gazer's paddock, and that the unicorn had his head thrust over the fence, whinnying worriedly at him. He didn't notice when his hands began to shake and when his anger began being replaced with sadness.
He wasn't aware of the exact moment when tears began welling up in his ebony eyes, spilling over, and slipping down his cheeks.
He didn't notice when his knees gave out and he fell to them on the grass, nor when strong arms wrapped around him, nor being held against a warm body. A pale hand with a silver ring on the first finger came up and gently wiped some of the tears away. A chin nestled in his hair as the owner of that hand held him close, both of them now in the grass.
"Are you ready to talk now?" Draco asked quietly.
After several minutes, he had stopped crying, and now felt almost dead to the point of exhaustion, nestled in Draco's embrace.
"Someone once told me something very important." The blonde began quietly.
"What?"
"Show me your world, so I'll never get lost. Show me your heart, so I'll never misunderstand. Show me your soul, so I can show you mine." Those beautiful silver eyes were solemn and determined, "Hero and I have already showed you who we are. I think that it's time you do the same. By now you should know that after all this, we aren't going to desert you. That you can trust us. Not just with your thoughts, or your life, but your heart. You can trust us enough to talk to someone about your father. Trust us enough to know that we will help you."
Ebony eyes framed by a wetness that caused his eyelashes to stick together frustratingly stared up at him.
"I'm completely sincere. Both of us will be here when you need the help, just as I hope you will be for us. Okay? I never want to see you like this again, do you understand? If something makes you feel this bad or makes you this upset, tell us, and we will do all in our power to help. If we can't, we'll find someone who can. I promise."
Nothing more was said between them.
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"Where is he? Damnit, where the bleeding, flaming fuck is he! I know I saw the bastard, WHERE THE FUCK IS HE!" Harry raged several days later, tearing apart the Gryffindor third year boys dorms, even getting down on his hands and knees and crawling under the bed and pounding on the slats. Completely gobsmacked, Dean, Seamus, Neville, and Ron merely stood in the doorway, watching as their friend ransacked their room. Harry took absolutely no notice in them at all.
"What the hell is he doing?" Dean muttered, eyes wide. Ron shook his head.
"No clue. All I know is that he's been up here for about ten minutes shouting "Where the fuck is he!" and tearing our room apart. Trust me, the best thing to do right now is to let him kill what he wants then maim him later-"
Suddenly, a brown speck raced out from under an overturned dresser, and Harry frantically raced after it, shouting at the top of his lungs.
"Damn you, get back here! YOU'RE GONNA PAY!"
"Was that Scabbers?"
"I think so."
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"Get him!" Harry roared, racing down the halls after the brown blur, spotting Draco and Gohan, the former of which calmly kneeled down and grabbed the rat roughly by the tail.
"Looking for this, Hero?" he inquired lazily, a silky tone of malice slipping through.
"I believe he was." Gohan answered in the same tone.
"Hero and I will take him to the Headmaster." Draco said promptly, "Would you go and grab Padfoot?" Elegantly, his ebony eyes sparking, Gohan bowed with a flourish, turned on a heel, and began to bolt out the door. Harry and Draco stared at each other, grinned, and then grinned evilly at the rat in Draco's hands, which was trying its damndest to get free.
"I don't think so." Harry growled. "You're going to get yours," he promised, "Right, Reptile?"
"Most definitely."
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"Skittles."
"M-n-Ms."
"Pocky."
"Where the hell's you get that? Stupid Hero. And while we're at it, Hana no kisu."
"What are you two doing?"
Both Draco and Harry whirled around to see a curious-looking Remus Lupin standing behind them. Harry thrust the rat behind his back.
"We need to see the headmaster!"
"Like, now." Draco said, trying his Malfoy best to make it sound like a command. Which, technically, it was.
"Why?" Lupin inquired.
"None of your business!" Draco snapped, remembering Aoi's reaction that one day and following her example. Lupin frowned.
"No explanation, no entry."
Harry sighed, then turned on what he liked to call, 'The super kira kira shojo bubbly girly manga expression of DOOM,'. Lupin's amber eyes went wide, and then he sighed.
"Oh, fine." he muttered, "Baby Ruth." The gargoyle moved aside seamlessly, almost glaring at the three of them as they walked past.
Upon entering the office, Dumbledore looked up.
"What's wrong, boys? Is everything alright?"
Blank, Harry shook his head, and requested that all doors be locked, before setting the rat on the table with a rough thud.
"Take a look." he growled, emerald eyes sparking, just as Lupin leaned in close.
"Oh my god…" he murmured, shaking his head, "It's not possible…" the man's voice sounded distant, as if he were in a daze. "It can't be…"
"It is." Draco spoke up, "This is the traitorous rat who sold out Hero's parents-"
"It wasn't Sirius, I swear!"
Everyone glanced around as one frenzied saiyan burst through the door, shattering it into splinters, a large black dog on his heels, eyes wide and frantic. Both of them, actually, Sirius, and Gohan. Panting, he skidded in front of the desk, before falling to his knees as Lupin trained his wand on the dog and wrapping his arms protectively around his neck.
"The proof is right there on your desk. Don't you touch Sirius." This was an order, and Gohan edged a little closer to Sirius, fingers tangling in the silky black fur. "Don't you dare touch him."
"Calm down." Dumbledore ordered, "No one will be touching anyone for the time being."
"It's Peter.." Remus was still a bit dazed, then snapped back into the real world again as Sirius whined slightly and nudged Gohan's cheek. "Sirius Black, I promise you right here, right now. If you do anything, anything, to harm these children, you won't survive it."
"Mr. Black, if you would please join the conversation at hand." Dumbledore said, securing the squeaking rat with a flick of his wand, "Mr. Son, I suggest that you let him go." Reluctantly, Gohan obeyed, and with a pop, a man in blue jeans and a light sweater was sitting on the floor, his black hair cropped to his shoulders and tied back in a short ponytail. Remus looked surprised to see him so healthy, and frankly, none of them blamed him.
"Remus." Sirius spoke up evenly, "Let it be known that I would never, ever harm either of these three boys in this room. Are we clear? Never."
"You are clear, Mr. Black." Dumbledore answered, "Please, sit."
"Yes sir." Sirius complied without complaint, sitting down in one of the chairs, watching with an almost canine stare at the squirming Wormtail, "Can I kill him first?"
"Not quite yet, Sirius." The headmaster replied, blue eyes showing a tiny bit of amusement. "Not quite yet. First of all, he can wait." A wayward hand-wave to Wormtail, "First of all, I'd like to say how very sorry I am. If we had only known-"
"Don't start." Sirius broke in. "Wormtail was gone, there was a finger, and I was supposedly the secret keeper. There was no other way to go in those times. No apologies are necessary."
"How is it that you are in such good condition?"
Sirius smirked. There was the question he had been waiting for. Smirk widening, he gestured to a blushing saiyan hybrid.
"He found me one day, and decided that I was going to be his new pet project, of sorts."
"Oh?" Dumbledore asked, eyeing Gohan.
"Yes sir." Gohan replied, staring at his shoes, "I did. But what else could I do? It was kind of my fault that he was hurt so bad, and-!"
"Hush." Sirius said, "They're obviously not mad. And I told you before, it's not your fault that you had to blast me into oblivion."
"Quite right." Dumbledore interjected, before turning his gaze back to Gohan. "Would you please go and fetch Severus? We are going to need some veritaserum." Suddenly, Sirius' eyes blazed, and he shook his head in a vehement negatory.
"No way! Not that bastard!"
"Inu-san!" Gohan scolded before either of the rest could react, "Snape-sensei is the only person in this castle who can make veritaserum, are you really going to let a little grudge rob you of your freedom? HUH!" Sirius blinked, then backed away slightly.
"Okay, okay." he muttered, scowling at the floor.
"If that's settled, Gohan, would you please go and retrieve your head of house?"
"Sure." was the saiyan's reply, and he walked past the rubble that used to be the headmaster's office door, before poking his head back in. "Kyojuu? I promise, I'll fix that." Then he was gone.
Suddenly, it hit Sirius right then like a sharp smack on the head.
He. Was. Free.
Silently, he pressed his hands to his cheeks, and as suddenly as it had begun tears began slipping down, dripping onto the floor. In an instant, Remus had him in a tight hold and was rocking him back and forth, muttering apologies every few seconds and crying himself. Draco looked away, slightly uncomfortable.
This was too personal. He shouldn't be seeing such a personal moment like this.
Harry, on the other hand, found that he couldn't look away. He had never seen anything so intimate, so undeniably personal, and so utterly heart wrenching.
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"Snape-sensei?"
Severus looked up from where he was brewing a potion, eyes widening as one very tentative saiyan hybrid quietly slid open the door.
"Yes?"
"Dumbledore-kyojuu needs you, and he requests that you bring a bottle of veritaserum."
"Why?"
"He requested that I not say."
Severus didn't miss the unusual undertone of distant cool, and vaguely wondered if the child was really that miffed with him. With a grace that many would deem unexpected, the man got to his feet and followed Gohan, who was already out the door again.
Gohan made sure to stay at least three paces in front of his teacher, but didn't miss Severus' unmistakable jaw drop as he caught sight of the rubble that was once a gargoyle and a door.
"Do I even want to know?"
"No."
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NOTES TO REVIEWERS:
I have just been informed that I am not allowed to answer reviews now. Fucking bastards. However, all review responses will be posted up on my journal in a public post. You can find my journal by clicking on my homepage.
Thank you in advance, and I have hesitation in saying that the only good thing FF has done lately is make C2s un-rated. Bastards.
And yes, I AM evil. CLIFFHANGER. Oh yes, my friends.