The Name of the Game

By Yanagi-sen

WK songfic

Usual disclaimers apply. Third in the Angels of the Silences series. Song by ABBA. Nanjiro created by my friend and sometimes coauthor, Kiki. Please do not use him without her permission.

Warnings: sap, mild angst, a fresh lemony scent

Nagi stared at the lines of code. Something wasn't working out, if he could just find the error… Suddenly he spotted it, just a typo but it had kept a week's worth of coding from working. With a sigh, he fixed the error, and then noticed he wasn't alone. Looking up, the young telekinetic noticed vivid blue hair. "Nanjiro."

"Hey, Nagi. How are you?"

"Better now that I found the problem with my code. How are you?"

"I'm good… You thinking about leaving any time soon?"

Nagi looked up at the clock. He was surprised to see that it was already after 7. "Oh, I didn't realize it was so late." The rest of the office was quiet and getting dark. It looked like everyone else had gone.

"No kidding. Come on, it's Friday, let's get out of here. Remember you promised to 'hang out' with me." He winked.

I've seen you twice, in a short time / Only a week since we started

Nanjiro took them to that nightclub where they had first met. They ordered some food and drinks, beer for Nan, coffee for Nagi. The brunette dug into his meal when it arrived, finding he was starving. Once the edge had been taken off his hunger, Nagi slowed down and looked around. He found that Nanjiro was watching him with a smirk on his face. "What?"

"Forget lunch again?"

Nagi blushed. "No, but it was a long time ago."

"What did you have?"

"An onigiri."

The blue-haired man frowned, shaking his head. "That's hardly enough, especially when you tend to stay as late as you do. You should have lunch with me; get away from that cubicle for a bit."

"I get a lot done while I'm eating."

"That doesn't surprise me since you hardly eat." He smiled, taking the edge off his words.

Nagi pondered that smile. It surprised him a little, that he cared what Nanjiro thought and said. They had only been 'hanging out' for a couple weeks now, but already the man's opinion of him mattered to Nagi.

"More coffee?"

"Sure."

It seems to me, for every time / I'm getting more open-hearted

The dance floor was starting to fill up. This club wasn't as wild as some of the others in the area, but it was popular with the young-but-out-of-college crowd. Nagi watched the people for a moment, then noticed that he was being watched in turn. He quirked an eyebrow.

Nanjiro winked. "Wanna dance?"

"Me?"

"Is there another cute brunette over there?"

"I'm no dancer. If you want to, go ahead."

"That's no fun. Come on." He stood up and extended a hand to Nagi. The brunette shook his head, but Nanjiro wasn't taking no for an answer. He grabbed the thin wrist and pulled the telekinetic from the booth.

"Nan… I can't dance."

"Everyone can dance; the difference is if someone can dance well."

"I'm not one of them!" They were getting close to the dance floor and Nagi was getting more conscious of the scene they were presenting. He quit fighting the young man, but wasn't happy. He was sure everyone was staring at him. Fortunately the music changed to a slower song and the lights dimmed a bit.

Nanjiro pulled him closer. "Just move with me."

I was an impossible case / No-one ever could reach me

Nagi felt stiff and awkward. Nanjiro just seemed to flow with the music, while he… well… he was less than graceful. The other young man frowned slightly and leaned closer. One hand came up, brushing down over the brunette's eyes. "Close them… just relax and follow me."

Feeling foolish, Nagi closed his eyes. This was silly… he couldn't do this. With the midnight eyes closed he was forced to just feel… He was aware of the hand resting against his side; the other arm wrapped around him, fingers splayed against the small of his back. He could sense the movement of Nanjiro's hips, a gentle swaying motion. He tried to match it.

"Relax, you're trying too hard." He was pulled closer and with a sigh of frustration, laid his head against Nan's shoulder. He tried not to think about it… not to really try to dance, just listened to the music. "see… you're a natural."

"hardly." He murmured into the blue hair. Nanjiro laughed. Nagi was amazed how Nan could get to him when no one else could. Not even Omi.

But I think I can see in your face / There's a lot you can teach me / So I wanna know..

He envied Nanjiro his openness, his ability to be so candid and honest without worrying what everyone else thought about him. You could see it simply in his hair color. Nanjiro knew it attracted attention, and he simply didn't care. He liked it, and that was all that mattered.

Nagi wondered if maybe Nan could teach him to be a little less reserved. He chanced opening his eyes, lifting his head from the other man's shoulder. Nanjiro was watching him, smiling slightly.

What's the name of the game/ Does it mean anything to you?

"What?"

"Nothing."

Those lingering bits of uncertainty reared their ugly little heads. What did Nanjiro want from him?

The blue-haired man frowned. "What's wrong? You just got all tense."

Nagi shook his head. "I just…" He gave up and shrugged.

"don't worry about it… you look fine… you look more than fine I think… so do they…" He smirked off to the side.

What's the name of the game/ Can you feel it the way I do?

Nagi's eyes followed the movement. There were at least half a dozen people watching them. Eyes on him. It was something he had been avoiding for years. He didn't want to be watched, didn't want to be noticed. Noticed meant he had failed to fade into the background the way he had been taught. To be noticed meant danger. He stiffened more.

"What's wrong… and don't tell me nothing, something's up."

He could feel those eyes on his back; it just made his skin crawl.

Tell me please, 'cause I have to know / I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow

"Is it them? Watching you?" Nan pulled him closer again, so he could easily whisper in the smaller man's ear. "they just think you're beautiful to look at… I really have to agree with them."

"no I'm not… and they're staring..."

"Of course they are. You ARE beautiful. And you're so adorable when you get all flustered and embarrassed. You are a very attractive man, they are admiring that."

He knew Nanjiro was teasing. He knew the blue-haired man found him pretty. The brunette shook his head. How could he explain something like this? That he was uncomfortable being watched because he had formerly been an assassin? That he got nervous when too many people noticed him? That he was afraid one of them might just be from his former employers and ready to either jump him or report on him? The song shifted to a bouncier number but Nagi just stood there.

Nanjiro glowered at the watchers and they turned back to whatever they'd been doing before. He steered the brunette back towards their booth, not taking his arm off of the thin shoulders till they were seated again.

And you make me talk / And you make me feel / And you make me show / What I'm trying to conceal

Nagi sat, staring at his hands. When a napkin appeared beside him, he grabbed it and tore off a section, starting to fold the thin paper. A glass was held in his range of vision… not the coffee he had been drinking before. Something more colorful.

"Here… drink this."

He would have refused, just out of spite, but he felt bad for most likely ruining the other man's evening. He took the glass and sipped it. The drink was kind of fruity, sweet, but a little tart too. He decided he liked it and took another sip before putting it down. He went back to folding bits of paper and occasionally sipping the drink. He finally stopped when the glass was empty and he had run out of napkin. He looked up at Nanjiro.

"Feel like talking?"

Nagi shrugged. He felt… oddly relaxed, and a bit warm. "I just got…"

"Spooked?"

"Yeah… I guess so. Knowing they were looking at me."

"Why? Hundreds of people must look at you everyday, riding the subway, walking down the street, in the office."

"But they aren't 'watching' me." He put subtle emphasis on the word. "It's different."

"You don't like being watched."

"No… they might find out things."

"What things?"

He was going to say, 'That I'm a freak.'; but what came out was, "I love you."

If I trust in you, would you let me down/ Would you laugh at me, if I said I care for you?

Nagi could have kicked himself. What had possessed him to do that? The only thing that could have been worse would be if he'd just admitted to formerly being a member of Schwarz, and all that entailed. Nanjiro said he loved him all the time, but that was different. For Nagi… it was different. He braced himself for what might be coming next.

"Was that really so hard to admit?"

Could you feel the same way too/ I wanna know... / The name of the game

"you don't understand… there's things you don't know… you can't know about me."

"So I get to know you… how terrible can that be?"

Nagi shook his head. Nan didn't understand, he couldn't understand. He glanced around, they were in a secluded booth, no one appeared to be watching. One of the origami birds lifted off the table and rotated in a circle before coming to rest again. The brunette didn't dare look to see what the other man's reaction was.

"Let's go."

The telekinetic slipped from the booth, feeling a little unsteady. He grabbed his coat and fumbled for his wallet. Nanjiro grabbed his arm and started for the door. "I got the bill."

Nagi just followed him out and down the street. He wondered if Nan was leading him back to that posh apartment he lived in. Maybe he should just go home. "Should I go?"

"Where… you have another hot date I don't know about?"

At least the man was teasing him again, he relaxed slightly. "No… but, I don't want to ruin your evening any more than I already have."

"You haven't… it's a surprise and I think we need to talk, but you didn't 'ruin' the evening. Part of being friends is taking the good with the bad… or the strange."

I have no friends, no-one to see / And I am never invited

Nagi walked silently beside the other young man, staring down at the sidewalk, hands tucked into his pockets. Nanjiro let him get away with that till they were waiting on the subway platform and then looped his arm through the brunette's. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"I guess."

"You never seem to go anywhere or do anything. You arrive at work early and stay late… don't you have any friends or hobbies or anything?"

"Not really."

"Nothing at all?"

"No… Omi was…" His voice broke a bit; he cleared his throat and went on. "He was the one I did things with."

"Weren't you in any clubs in school, sports? You can't tell me you've never done anything."

Nagi colored slightly. "I mostly did stuff with my computer…" He didn't want to talk about it too much, hacking was illegal after all.

"Hacking?"

"I didn't say that…"

"Puleeze… I'm a programmer too. So you went to school, then went home, did your homework and hacked?"

"More or less." Oh, and I was also part of a secret international organization bent on taking over the world and doing the occasional mass destruction or murder, but let's not mention that.

Nanjiro was silent as they boarded the packed subway car and found a corner to stand in. "Aren't you lonely?"

Now I am here, talking to you / No wonder I get excited

Nagi's voice stuck in his throat. Of course he was lonely, he'd been lonely for as long as he could remember. Until Omi… and then the blond had left him. And now… "sometimes…"

The blue-haired man smiled. "Only sometimes… so are you lonely right now?" The brunette couldn't speak; he just looked at Nanjiro with somewhat haunted blue eyes. The young man leaned closer to whisper in his ear. "I'm so lucky… I get to spend time with you… come on up, spend the night with me."

"okay…" A little shiver went through him. Nanjiro had seen some of his talent and wasn't disgusted or afraid of him. He didn't leave Nagi alone on the street, and that voice… That voice sent a thrill down his spine.

Your smile, and the sound of your voice / And the way you see through me

He was transfixed by the mismatched green eyes. Nanjiro smirked and moved a little closer as more people tried to pack into the car. Nagi found himself pushed back into a corner, the blue-haired man pressed against him from leg to shoulder. Out of sight, if someone should have been looking, Nagi felt a hand run up his hip and around his back. He squirmed a bit.

Nanjiro was still smirking, a twinkle in his eyes. His hand slid up under Nagi's coat, toying with the waistband of his slacks. "Nanjiro!" He hissed.

"Don't you like it? No one is watching… and if they are, they can't see anything." The hand kept moving and Nagi was suddenly aware that Nan was very interested. As the car rocked slightly, the other man used the movement to rub against the brunette sensually.

Got a feeling, you give me no choice / But it means a lot to me

The subway ride seemed to take forever and no time at all. Nagi was glad his coat fell to mid-thigh, and therefore hid how much Nanjiro's attentions interested his body. The other young man was smirking, as he led the brunette through the crowd at the subway station and out into the street. Nagi could see the apartment mansion just ahead. He buried his hands in his pockets again.

Nanjiro smiled and took his arm. "You are going to stay, right."

A flutter went through the brunette. He nodded. He was feeling, something. He couldn't really put a name to that sensation. He had thought with Omi that he'd discovered what 'love' was supposed to feel like. But this was different. It was exciting and enticing and any number of other things. All at the same time. It was a little bewildering.

So I wanna know... / What's the name of the game?

He waited while the blue-haired man got his mail and then they rode up in the elevator. Once again, Nagi was struck by the posh apartment his… friend, lived in. He wasn't sure what to call Nanjiro. He was closer than a friend, definitely more than a co-worker. But Nagi wasn't quite ready to think about anything more serious.

He wondered why he had accepted the invitation up. Why was he there? What did he want? And why was he asking himself all these questions he couldn't answer. He was really starting to lose it. Schu would have been vastly amused. He sighed, sometimes, he really missed them.

(Your smile and the sound of your voice) / Does it mean anything to you?

(Got a feeling you give me no choice) / But it means a lot, what's the name of the game?

Nanjiro was smiling as he took the brunette's coat. "Do you want anything to drink? I've got beer, wine, cola, tea?"

Nagi shrugged. "Anything…"

"Okay, have a seat, I'll be right out." The young man disappeared into the small kitchen. Nagi wandered over to one of the windows. The city spread out all around them. There was a glow coming up from the street, then lights here and there in the buildings. The ones in the distance looked almost like stationary fireflies.

"Thanks for waiting."

He turned to see Nanjiro coming back in and setting a pair of wine glasses on the coffee table and sitting on the couch. He patted the cushion next to him. "I promise I won't bite."

"Why do I not believe you?" Nagi asked as he made his way back to the couch and sat down.

"Well… I won't bite hard."

(Your smile and the sound of your voice) / Can you feel it the way I do?

Tell me please, 'cause I have to know / I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow

He took a sip of the wine, then another. It was semi-sweet, light, very nice. He wasn't much of a drinker, not generally comfortable enough with other people to let his senses be dulled. But tonight… he suspected whatever Nan had given him back at the club hadn't just been fruit juice. He leaned his head back, relaxing a bit.

Nanjiro tucked his feet up on the couch, sliding a little closer to him. His free hand reached out to brush some of the brunette strands from the telekinetic's face. He turned his face to look at the blue-haired man. Nan was smiling again.

And you make me talk / And you make me feel / And you make me show / What I'm trying to conceal

The man took the glasses and set them on the table. He slid closer to Nagi, one hand coming back to play with his hair, the other gently stroking along the brunette's thigh. Midnight eyes slid closed as Nagi tilted his head into the caress. No words were exchanged.

Did he like Nanjiro this way? Could he let the man in? Inside where previously only Omi had been able to reach? Could he maybe stop thinking long enough to actually enjoy the moment?

Cool finger slid along his chin as Nanjiro took his face in both hands. Nagi opened his eyes to see the other man so close, a question in his odd green eyes. He closed his again and tilted his face towards the other in permission. The lips that ghost along his are soft and careful, gentle and non-threatening.

If I trust in you, would you let me down/ Would you laugh at me, if I said I care for you?

The kiss was long and mellow, calm and quiet in a way it had rarely been with Omi. With Omi it had all been hurried and passionate, burning fiercely and then over. This was different. Nagi could still feel the passion, but it was quieter, like a fire banked carefully.

Nanjiro kissed him tenderly and then pulled away. Midnight eyes blinked. The other man was watching him closely. "Did you like that?"

He nodded. "I like it… I like you."

Could you feel the same way too/ I wanna know...

Nan laughed quietly. "That's good, cause I like you too." He leaned in to kiss him again. The cool fingertips slid down and tilted Nagi's head to the side. Nanjiro's lips started to kiss their way along the pale jaw to where it met the slim neck. The telekinetic gasped at the first nibble on his neck.

Oh yes I wanna know... / The name of the game / (I was an impossible case) / Does it mean anything to you?

The lingering touches through the thickness of his clothing were somehow more alluring than if they had been naked. He found himself reaching for the man in return. The kisses continued, sometimes a press against lips, sometimes against other stretches of bared skin. Nimble fingers started to unbutton his shirt, spreading the fabric open. Nanjiro dipped his head to lick along the brunette's collarbone.

Nagi sighed softly. The clever fingers slid under his shirt and finding one of his nipples, traced around it. The brunette moaned, back arching. It felt so good… everything felt good. Nanjiro pulled him up, pushing the shirt back over his shoulders then drawing it carefully from his arms. Grabbing a couple pillows, he shoved them in behind Nagi and then leaned him back again. "If you get uncomfortable… for any reason, tell me." His eyes held Nagi's. The brunette nodded.

(But I think I can see in your face) / That it means a lot

Nanjiro smiled, and it was an honest smile. Nagi had, out of necessity, learned to read the truth or falsehood in people's faces. Crawford and Schuldich's true feelings were rarely, if ever shown, he had to be able to see beneath that to survive with them. To see such honesty out where he could see it, touch it, it meant a lot to the brunette. He reached out and traced the side of Nanjiro's face.

The odd green eyes closed and the man turned his head so he could kiss and nibble at Nagi's fingertips. Midnight eyes closed as well and the young man was swept up in the sensations.

What's the name of the game/ (Your smile and the sound of your voice)

Can you feel it the way I do/ (Got a feeling you give me no choice)

Free to touch, free to feel, Nagi groaned at the growing warmth between them. Nanjiro's cool fingers left fire behind as they glided over his skin, seeking out all the sensitive places. The brunette was writhing under those fingers. Then when the man traced back over those places with his tongue… Nagi didn't know what he was saying anymore, but he wanted, no needed something.

He moaned and arched his back. His pants were becoming uncomfortable, constrictive. He managed to get his hands working enough to undo them. He heard/felt Nanjiro chuckle and then move off of him a bit. Those wonderful, clever fingers came down to help and soon Nagi's pants had joined his shirt on the floor. The other man left his boxers however. The hands came back, this time one slid up his leg, under the fabric and just lightly grazed his aching erection.

Anything. Nanjiro could have asked for anything at that moment and Nagi would have given it to him. It had been so long, so long since anyone but himself had touched that place. So long since anyone had touched him in passion at all. So long… and he wanted this so much. Nanjiro drew him closer to kiss deeply, withdrawing his hand at the same time. Nagi groaned disappointedly.

"no… want more… anything…"

But it means a lot, what's the name of the game/ (I was an impossible case)

Nanjiro pulled entirely away from him. Nagi blinked in surprise. He watched, shocked, as the man ran a hand through his blue hair and retreated to the far corner of the couch. Had he done something wrong? "Nan?"

"I'm sorry… that wasn't right of me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Taking advantage of you like that. It wasn't right."

"What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" Nanjiro reached over and pat his leg. "No, you did nothing wrong… this just isn't right."

It felt like Nagi's world was crashing down on him again. "You… you don't want me!" He finally blurted out.

Surprise, then dawning understanding flicked across Nanjiro's face. "Oh… no… it's not that." He grinned seductively. "I want you very much. But we can't do this tonight."

Does it mean anything to you/ (But I think I can see in your face)

"Wh… why not!" He must have looked hurt or something because Nan reached over and first tugged on his leg to get him moving, then gathered him into his arms.

"shhhh… you're not ready for that. Not yet. We've both been drinking. I don't want to do, or you to do, anything unless we're both thinking clearly. I don't want you to wake up tomorrow hating me, or yourself for that matter. I won't do that to you."

A tightness that had formed in Nagi's chest loosened a bit. "oh… maybe I should leave…"

The arms around him were unyielding, not letting him go. "no… stay, please?"

Nagi fought with himself for a minute. This was… new. Before, with Omi, they had only really cuddled after sex. Or the rare time he'd been sick, but that hadn't really felt like this. The blond had always been so full of energy. Unless sleeping, he was rarely content to just lay and be with each other. Nagi kind of thought that maybe he liked this. He nodded.

Nanjiro smiled again, but it was a little sleepy. The brunette found he was getting tired too, now that the excitement had worn off. The blue-haired man coaxed him to stand, and then led him into the darkened bedroom. He didn't bother to turn on any lights. He dug out some pajamas and handed them to Nagi, giving him a push towards the bathroom.

It took only a few minutes for them to get ready for bed then the brunette was settled under the covers. Nanjiro wrapped himself around Nagi like he was some kind of man-shaped teddy bear. Surprisingly, it was the most comfortable he'd felt in months. A soft kiss was pressed to the back of his neck. "oyasumi…"

A slight smile found its way to Nagi's lips as he dropped off into sleep.

That it means a lot

-owari-

TBC of course. That's not an ending. I mean, it could be, but when authors (especially professional ones, you know, the people that get PAID for this) have an ending like that, I get annoyed. Actually, that's putting it too mildly, I get pissed. I want REAL endings; where all the loose ends are nicely tied up and hopefully in a happy way. I don't mind if the series is going to be continued, but the ultimate ending has to BE an ending. So anyway… yeah, getting off my soapbox now, hope you enjoyed.

Oh, one more thing (if you're still bothering to read this, thank you); I'm dedicating this one to my Grandpa. He loved ABBA. Some of my fondest memories of him either involve music or cooking. His favorite song was 'I Have a Dream', but I'm not sure when or if I'll ever use that one. So this is for him. -Yanagi