Sorry it's been so long. Don't kill me?

This was converted from the RP very fragmentedly. It should still all make sense, because Iliyana and me RPed it pretty much in one go. But if you spot a mistake, don't eat me. xD

Squall POV

Knocking on Rinoa's door, I wonder if she can even help me. It might be stupid to bother her... after all, it's my problem. She answers with a quiet 'come in' before I can finish the internal debate and so I go in, shutting the door behind me and leaning against it. "Hey."

"Hey Squall, how's it going, having fun?" she asks with a slight smile, looking up from a magazine in her lap. It's a relief to me not to hear her thoughts, after the day of thoughts constantly intruding, some of them less innocent than others, some of them downright obnoxious, none of them the ones I need to hear. She must be shielding hers from me and I think about thanking her for a moment before deciding to just answer her question.

"Haven't found anyone yet, but I wanted to ask you if you know how to block a specific person's thoughts out," I cross my arms in front of me, feeling a faint blush creeping over my cheeks again at the memory of Seifer's thoughts.

"One specific person? Hmm..." she trails off, thinking for a moment, and I remain silent to let her think. Finally, she shakes her head. "I haven't tried that yet, but I'm sure it's possible if you really focus on it."

I sigh softly and roll my eyes. "I was trying. I'm sure I'll figure it out, thanks anyway."

"No problem, sorry I couldn't help." She puts the magazine she was reading when I went in down and leans forward a little, looking up into my face with a little smile. "So... who do you need to block so badly?"

"Seifer," I say, simply, not going into it any further.

A dark, perfectly plucked eyebrow arches up. "Why? I mean, what's he thinking that you really don't want to hear?"

I look down at the floor, that damnable blush taking over again. "I don't think I should tell anyone that." I'm not sure he wants anyone, especially not me, to know what he thinks of me.

"Yeah, I guess they're still his private thoughts... Still," she smiles innocently, "were they good thoughts or bad?"

"Well..." I shrug slightly. Good? Is it a good thing that Seifer... that Seifer wants me, wants to do things to me? Or is it a bad thing? How am I supposed to judge that? "I'm not sure."

She frowns slightly, looking a little confused for a moment before smiling and pressing further. "You're not sure? C'mon, were they positive about you or was he just thinking you're a bastard all of the time?"

"Um... positive, I guess, most of the time."

"Tell me more?" she asks, patting the spot next to her invitingly.

I move to sit down, against my better judgement, finding a convenient spot on the floor to stare at. Maybe she could help me think this through a little more, anyway. "He's... um... attracted to me."

She gasps softly, and I look at her for a second to see her eyes a little wide. "You're kidding!"

"Wish I was," I mutter softly, shaking my head. She doesn't appear to hear me, placing a hand lightly on my arm and leaning closer, curious, wanting to know more now that I've said that.

"So what was he thinking? And are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." And I add the thing that bothers me more than the thought of him lusting after me, "He cares about me, too." Expectant pause. Damn. How could I tell her the things he wants to do to me? It wouldn't be fair on him and she doesn't really want to know. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say. "I don't think you want to know what he was thinking."

She pokes my arm. "Ooooh, come on, don't tease me, what was he thinking?"

I shrug slightly, still staring pointedly at the floor and wishing I hadn't started this. No doubt she'll have more questions, and then she'll ask me how I feel about him, and... truthfully, I'm not sure. "Things like... how much he wanted me. It was weird to, you know, 'hear' that from him."

She laughs softly, and I look up again to see her blink in surprise and blush faintly. "That, I can imagine. So how do you feel about it? About him?" I knew that one was coming. I really don't know. I thought... well, he's 'hot', I guess, I'm attracted to him, I could imagine... kissing him, touching him. But... I've spent most of my life fighting him. And how long has he wanted me?

"I don't know... it's weird."

"So you don't know if you'd ever do anything about it?"

She fidgets a little and I raise an eyebrow at her. Surely she doesn't think it'd be a good idea to... have something with him? "Do you really think I should? Even if I liked him... he doesn't know that I could read his mind. It'd be kind of sudden."

She shrugs slightly. "It depends on you and whether you're attracted to him too, really. But he doesn't have to know you could read his mind, and, well, I'm probably biased, but Seifer's actually a great guy, once you get to know him."

I sigh a heartfelt sigh, putting my head into my hands. "Life was simpler when all I wanted to do was beat the crap out of him."

"Not to mention that he's really handsome too..." Rinoa wraps an arm around my shoulders, laughing lightly, not really sympathising at all. Does she realise how odd this is? Did Seifer want me even when we fought? When his blade sliced through my skin? Did he want me when he teased me and laughed at me and made me feel like dying would be simpler than carrying on with people remembering my latest humiliations?

"Whatever."

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed at least that yet." She rolls her eyes. "Tell me what you think about him."

That he's hot? That it makes my stomach twist a little to think of him fucking me, green eyes watching me as intently as they used to when we fought? She wants to know that I want him as well?

"I don't know... it's confusing."

"So start with the basics. Do you hate him?"

I thought she knew that I didn't, don't, whatever. I never hated him. Everything he did... it was simply in his nature to do it, to annoy me, to fight me, to join a sorceress and look down at the world with scorn. "No. He can be an asshole, but I've never really hated him."

"Okay, um..." She bites her lip in thought and then nods slightly, apparently with a question in mind. "I know you thought it was weird, but when you heard his thoughts, did you feel anything?

"I was embarrassed..." I pause, thinking it through a moment longer, looking down at the floor as if I could burn a hole through it with just my eyes. "And I wanted to know more."

"More?" There's a suppressed giggle that makes me smile a little, even though she's probably laughing at me. She looks at me with bright eyes, amused and hopeful – why the hell is she so eager to get me with Seifer? Are they plotting together on this or something? - and says, with the laughter still in her voice, "Sounds to me like you have some thinking to do."

I always have thinking to do. Instead of pointing that out, I just sigh softly, nodding, "Yeah. Probably."

"I probably shouldn't say this, but you two'd be great together." She giggles aloud now, hiding her smile behind a hand, and I roll my eyes, laughing at her softly before getting up with a sigh. Work calls, and I had better answer.

"I'll keep that in mind. I should go, I have more work to do."

Rinoa gets up as well, patting my shoulder lightly and nodding, knowing better than anyone the amounts of paperwork I have to get through by the end of today at the latest. "Alright then, if you have to go. Don't just ignore Seifer, though, think about it."

"I will. See you around, and thank you."

She smiles and waves a little as I leave the room, the door shutting behind me. "No problem. See you!"

----

I came to the Quad for some peace, but that was early this morning. Now more and more people are coming here, but the fact that it's a good opportunity to listen to people's thoughts and try to find the person making the threats hasn't escaped me. Despite the 'volume' and confusion of the thoughts, I sit quietly, listening as best as I can, not picking anyone out, not even able to identify a single thought's origin.

Until a most familiar, and most loud thought intrudes, its owner walking into the quad and looking for somewhere quiet, finding a bench away from most of the students, and unfortunately not far from me. Why the hell did I decide to quit smoking again? ...Shouldn't think of that, focus on something else... Training is boring, teeny tiny missions they let me go on even more so...

My eyes are drawn to him, and I watch as he sits down, leaning back, draping his arms over the back of his bench and looking up at the sky. I frown a little, making a mental note to look into his missions. He's a good SeeD, why isn't he getting decent missions?

Now maybe if a certain asshole would get off his ass and fight me sometime, that'd be interesting, but no.

He closes his eyes with a sigh, a vague thought about enjoying the nice weather and the breeze drifting through his head. I stand up and head over to him, unable to resist, feeling the loneliness in him that must burn him. He's never been one to enjoy being alone, unlike me. "Hi."

He looks up, surprised, blinking in the sunlight but smiling slightly at me. "Hey." Speak of the devil, here's mister sex on legs himself.

There's a long pause before I think of something to say, and then remember his earlier thought, looking down at my hands while speaking. "Would you like a duel sometime soon?"

"Duel? Didn't know you had time for entertaining yourself with the little people," he raises an eyebrow at me. What the hell, is this my lucky day or is karma going to come and bite me in the ass later?

"Whatever. Does that mean you don't want one?"

"Fuck no, you're on," he says with a smirk, all the while wishing silently that he could put an arm around me without getting punched. Some day, maybe, I should do something about this. I mean... trying a relationship with him wouldn't hurt.

"Good."

He curses to himself now, wishing he had a cigarette, or even a lighter, just to keep his hands occupied so he doesn't just reach out and wrap an arm around me. He's scared of doing that, though I don't know why. It's not as if he really has me as a friend to lose, but he still clings to the comfortableness we have around each other, not wanting to ruin that even if it isn't the most friendly of relationships.. He talks instead, trying to stop the urge overpowering his reason. Idiot. "What're you doing out here anyway?" Other than brightening my day, of course.

"Just thinking."

"Anything specific?" he asks, a part of him knowing he's prying, a part of him too curious to care. Another part of him thinking something else entirely. Wish I had the guts to give him something to really think about.

"Work. Garden." I glance sideways at him, at his face that shows nothing of what he's thinking and feeling, a little surprised and gratified that my company is nice for him. "Getting you put on a proper mission. I noticed you're not getting anything good."

He frowns slightly, and for a split second I think I've blown it, that he's figured it out somehow. "Who are you and what the hell have you done to Squall Leonhart?" Next thing I know he'll be inviting me to his room or some shit like that.

Sorry, not quite yet, Seifer. I still haven't thought this through properly. "Whatever."

He snorts softly, "No, it's still the same old you." He pauses, sighing softly and tilting his head back, "Thanks, though."

There's a moment of silence that I steal to look at him. Rinoa was right, he is... handsome, though that's maybe not the word I would usually use. It's a little odd to think that I never realised that before, but I guess I was too wrapped up in myself and in fighting him.

He catches my look and meets my eyes, arching an eyebrow up slightly. "...What?" And might I add, you look good enough to eat, today.

"Nothing."

There's that blush again, what the hell is up with him? he thinks, as, to my mortification, I blush at his thoughts, the accompanying mental image making me a little shocked at myself. Not that I'm complaining, no, could die happy if I had him beneath me like that just once. Or a few times over. I wonder if he's noisy, probably not. "Right. Nothing."

I look away from him, trying to control myself, taking a deep breath. Let one thought get to me and the rest bombard me with the pleasant, but not appropriate, imagery.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Sick or something?" Okay, five seconds before he bitches about the caring thing, twenty before he fucks off again. What makes you tick, Leonhart, what's going to make you notice me?

Oddly enough, this, Seifer.

I lean back, not looking at him but not looking away, either, controlling myself as best as I can. The best way for him to get to me was always to laugh at me for leaving. The thought I wasn't supposed to hear had the same effect. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"So you keep saying." He looks me over, rolling his eyes. Does he think I'm blind or something?

There's a long pause, filled with awkward silence and him tilting his head back to look up at the sky. Without meaning to speak, the words come out of my mouth all by themselves, curiosity filled in a way that surprises even me. Damn it, I'm not like this usually. It's his fault. His and Rinoa's, because of this damn spell. "You really don't have much to do round here, do you?"

"Other than being an eyesore for all the good little SeeDs? No, not much to do at all." Not that I couldn't think of something to do, fuck no, or well, fuck, yes, please, right now if you don't mind.

"Why do you stay here, then?"

"Where else could I go?" he shrugs slightly, and I remember with a little wince that he isn't exactly welcome, even here. He's an asshole and an idiot at times, but perhaps he doesn't deserve this. "It's not as if I can just waltz in anywhere I want, plenty of people who don't like me. And not just out there, either. And that's not mentioning the people who I like, but don't return the feeling.

"I don't dislike you."

Bet I like you better than you like me. "Really now?"

"Really."

"Surprising," he says with a slight nod, looking at me with slightly narrowed eyes. Wishing he could read my mind, or figure me out somehow. How ironic. How stupid. I shrug slightly.

"It's Rinoa's good influence."

He snorts softly, smiling a little anyway, "Hard to say no to, isn't she?"

"Yeah."

He tips his head back again, almost closing his eyes, and I feel him looking at me from underneath his lashes. "Yeah, she's a sweetheart." Very much unlike you, you're an asshole, just not right now... and still so fucking hot. Tell me, Squally, what do you look like when you're coming and you lose control?

I make an effort not to blush this time, strangely caught up in listening to his thoughts... so caught up I've been neglecting what I'm supposed to do. I bite my lip slightly, trying for a moment to ignore his thoughts and concentrate on sifting through all these other thoughts. Why does he have to think so loud?

Could throw you down and feel you up right here and now. Or maybe just nibble on you for a bit. Tell me, gorgeous, what do you taste like? He keeps watching me, keeps thinking about me, and, god help me, I keep listening. What do you taste like? What do you sound like, all alone, one hand down your shorts? What do you look like, underneath that starchy uniform?

Finally, I look at him, satisfied that none of my feelings provoked by his thoughts show on my face, and raise an eyebrow slightly when I find him looking at me, as I expected.

Well, there goes my fun. He raises an eyebrow at me, looking away as casually as he can. Sorry, Seifer, doesn't work that way, I know what you're thinking about. Oh well, it's all looking, no touching, anyway.

I look away and look around the quad, and Seifer sighs softly, pulling his thoughts away from all the things he'd like to do with or to me.

"Rumourmill says there's a threat to Garden."

"Yeah."

"Any suspects? Or is that why you're hanging around me?" You say yes and it's my gunblade in your gut, Leonhart.

"Why would I think it's you?" I say, blinking, and then want to hit myself. Of course he doesn't know I can read his mind. "No suspects, that's why I'm out here, but that's not why I'm sitting here with you."

"There why are you sitting with me? Not that I'm complaining, mind you." He smiles, but inwardly curses himself for actually saying the last part aloud. Heh. Wonder how he'd react if he found out I already know?

"If you're not complaining, why do you need to know?" I shrug.

"Because I feel like it. Do I need a reason for everything?"

"Just like I'm sitting with you just because I feel like it." Fuck, I'm smiling. Like an idiot. At Seifer. And he's noticing it, of course he is. And smiling back, and fuck, I hate Rinoa for putting these stupid ideas into my head.

Shit, why don't you smile more often, Leonhart? Fucking gorgeous like that.

I get up. I can't stick around much longer and I... need to think. I need to decide if Seifer is what I really want. Maybe I just want him because I know he wants me. "I'd better go... Work to do, and if I leave it, the pile will only get bigger."

"Yeah, sure." He nods slightly, looking up at me as I stand, his thoughts tinged with disappointment. No complaining now, Almasy, you've had your fun.

Even if I don't really want him... it wouldn't be so bad, to hang round with him more. He's not the insane demon people would imagine from what he did, far from it. He could be good company. And he probably wouldn't mind someone to talk to. He probably misses his posse. Shit, why am I thinking this? "See you around."