Fate is a cruel thing
It aims to hurt as easily as it aims to please
I used to think it would never steer me wrong
But now it hurts just to open my eyes each day...
Because...
I Can See, Yet I'm So Blinded
'Why do you continue to oppose me? It's only a matter of time before the darkness envelopes what's left of your pathetic heart, so why must you be so ignorant?'
'How ironic for you to be calling me ignorant… When will it sink into your thick, magus skull that I'm not interested in this darkness shit! You can't hold me back forever, you needy bastard. I'll expel you from my heart and you'll writhe in your miserable darkness for eternity!'
'Oh, that's amusing. This coming from the battle-weary silver pawn, gasping and bleeding…ready to collapse at any second.'
'…'
'Hah! Face it, you little fool. You are my host and link to the world of darkness. You are mine!'
'…Grragh! Go to hell, you cocky son of a--'
'Peh… I can't tell if you're pathetic or just plain entertaining. Hahaha! Was that final blast too much for you, my little pawn? Or do you enjoying begging for mercy?'
'…Urgh… Screw you…'
'That's right… Just keep trying… I'll admit…watching you fail over and over is too much fun to give up.'
'…Ugh… Shit…'
'It won't be much longer… You will lose this fight…Riku…'
x-x-x-x-x
-Memories consume… Like opening the wound…-
She knew he had lost the struggle today. She didn't need to speak a single word or even look at him to know that the day had been a complete failure for him. Why? The darkness about the entire Bastion, yes…the whole castle, was stifling and ice-cold. Though this did happen often, today scared her, but she couldn't be certain as to why though…
They hadn't spoken in three days, a new standing record for the two. She had attempted a few words each night, but all he had to do was flinch and she knew not to speak again. How did she know? Let's just call it experience and leave it at that…
Slowly, she walked into the chillingly tense room, putting a lot of energy in trying not to shiver from the temperature alone. He was sitting at the empty room's only table, his elbows upon the oak wood and his head slumped in the 'pillow' they provided. Though this was the stated smallest room in the Castle, the very atmosphere turned it into some sort of empty void, a cataclysmic abyss where escape and freedom are mere imagination; fruitless dreams of those inane little optimists that just haven't clued into reality yet.
Though they were constantly laced with sadness, her dark ocean-toned eyes looked at him with a stabbing anguish floating through them. He was always in so much pain, but she didn't know how to stop it…how to help. It was, of course, harder to aid him on these nights; those when he had really been conquered.
This was not an uncommon position for the tortured boy to be in, though the intensity and pain would vary depending on his resulting battle with the manipulative shadows in his heart. He fought the battle every single day of his life now… Sometimes, they were short where as some…a lot…were long, harsh and draining. The outcome of each struggle determined how sane the tormented teenager would be for the day's remainder…or at least until the next challenge ruptured forth.
Two years… Two long, painful and violent years and the war within his heart never seemed to reach some form of conclusion…leaving him trapped in a chaotic stalemate. Some days…the standoff would be a variable of intensities, therefore altering just how greatly he would be affected in the real world. They were never good, but the scale of 'bad' wasn't always vicious…
She could tell the scale wasn't hovering today; it had fallen to one side, indicating a very rough night…for both of them… He hadn't acknowledged her presence yet and something within her cried out that she leave it that way…
She brushed it off and delicately walked up behind him. Warning shot through her body in a desperation almost too intense for her to ignore. She didn't deny the warning, but she didn't accept it either. She promised to be there for him when he needed support…no matter what she received in return. An icy drop trailed its frightened path over heart, but she bit it back. Yes…she knew she was in for hell…but…she had to try…
She had to try…
-…I'm picking me apart again…-
"Riku… You're freezing… Are you okay?" She gently laid her hands on his shoulders and delicately began to massage them, hoping to give him warmth and prayed it would comfort him. She knew it was dangerously risky, but again, she wanted to try. He was worth it to her…worth what it took…
She had chosen her words carefully, and even then, the decision scared her. The question was stupid, considering the situation, but she hoped that it would sound like concern, not ignorance this time…
…This time…
-You all assume…I'm safe here in my room…-
"Do I look okay to you?" She could taste the anger in his voice, the dark baritones baring such venom that she regretted saying anything at all. He hadn't moved yet, even through his words, indicating the silent rage response to her presence there with him. Ice continued to drip down her heart and plummet through her body, but she shook it off; still hopeful…hoping that maybe she would be able to comfort his tormented soul…though she still risked the chance it may also spell brutal hell…
…He's worth the risk… He's worth what it takes…
She didn't respond to his question, fearful of the correct answer. 'Yes'…the darkness about is stifling; of course he's not okay. 'No'…then what the hell was the point of asking the question… Silence wasn't smart either, but it seemed to be the only logical option now…
Instead, she continued to gently massage his beyond tense shoulder muscles. Any other person was apt to melt beneath her caring touch, the soft caress offering the loving support he so desperately sought. He barely reacted, tensing more if anything, as though her affectionate fingers were sandpaper. Her very existence seemed to enrage him… Explanations weren't possible since they would sound ridiculous and to be quite frank, stupid. It was almost like: The more she cared about him, he hated he hated her being. Looks and responses are deceptive, yes, but…
"Take your hands off me!" His reaction wasn't a surprise, but the level of malice in his voice did scare her. She had estimated his anger to be high…but now…
…Too late… Far too late…
She let go as though she had placed her hands on a hot burner, pain and regret singeing her palms viciously. His 'head stand' slammed down upon the table, though his head remained in position. They came down so hard, the table cried out in pain, its anguished sound reverberating about the tiny room. She swallowed back a gasp at his sudden action, though it didn't quiet the severe pounding of her terrified heart. She stepped back, frightened by the violent shadowed aura about him; invisible, but just as deadly as any other. Her heart's convulsive state filtered into her breathing and voice as she tried to apologize for being so forward.
Funny to think she had anything to apologize for, huh? Apologize for caring… Apologize for trying… for putting up with his flaming glares and hate-filled words…
…Strange to think of the things that can become a habit…
-Unless I try to start again…-
"I--I--I'm sor---"
"What the hell do you have to be so happy about, anyhow?" He hadn't moved since he had the table scream, but if anything, it just made the question more intimidating. She could feel his rage building already, so rapidly and intensely, that she was almost tempted to fear for her life…
She didn't know how to respond either. There was never a right answer in a situation like this, only varying degrees of wrong ones. And that could make all the difference… What difference you ask? Personally, I don't think you truly want to know…
But she knew she had to respond this time…knowing he'd soon be up and demanding it. Her heart, the one thing that often asked her to try and help him, was now begging her to run away. He wouldn't chase her; he never did. But as long as she was in that room, she was an easy target…a target without a satisfactory response…
"N-Nothing… I was just--"
"Nothing, huh?" His head finally moved, his body straightening out in a chair. Her entire body froze, but not simply because of fear. His voice kept getting more malevolent with each word he spoke, though it also got quieter, which is what worried her. I suppose anxiety is a type of fear, worrying and what have you. Maybe she was scared because she was worried or maybe…worried because she was scared? A combination of the two, perhaps? Or maybe it was something worse… Much…much…worse…
"R-Riku--"
"Heh…yeah, that's right… You would have nothing to feel happy about, am I correct?" Slowly, he came to his feet, the chair sliding back with a nervous screech upon the stone floor. The silence following his statement shot daggers into her heart, his tone and "curiosity of question" only enhancing the eerie hush that fell between them. Her body was beginning to shake already; another bad sign. She fought it back, knowing she would need all the strength she could spare now… Her head was already in the noose when she had decided to enter the room. She just prayed the executioner wasn't ready to kick out the box beneath her feet yet…
"N-No…Ri--"
"You have nothing because you're in this asylum of a Bastion with me! That's it, isn't it!" His left hand caught the chair he had been on not a minute prior and sent it painfully crashing across the hard floor as he whipped around to face her. Shadowed aquamarines were in flames, as though reflecting the burning fires of hell within them. His lips were viciously curved into an enraged scowl, accentuating his eyes and enforcing the demonic expression his paled countenance bore now. And his glare was fixed solely on her, as though it were this girl who would torment his soul day after day.
His violent action with the chair tore a flinch from her petrified form; the suddenness merged with the chair's cries of anguish as it crashed upon the ground filled her with definite fear now. She wasn't stupid; she knew where it would lead.
But it was his malevolent glare that caused her heart to pound harder, faster, deeper. It displayed the day's battle and the darkness that had managed to conquer more and more territory. A bitter loss and a harsh one at that…and judging by his quick reaction on misreading her attempted words… She knew she was going to suffer…
""No! That's not--"
"Of course you can't be happy! You live in violent hell with a demon who treats you like dirt, right? Trapped in a dark abyss where you're nothing more than a distasteful plague that is too ignorant to give up… Am I right!" He moved as he screamed the brazen comments at the shaking girl. He came to a stop about a foot away from her, his voice rising in rage with each step. Though he was only a head's height taller, it felt like his figure was looming over top of her, making his state that much more intimidating. His tense aura was constricting, the invisible waves wrapping around her throat and tightening, the effect soon sliding over her entire body. Her breaths were getting shorter because of it, and with the additional pounding of her heart, it was amazing she hadn't passed out.
As he came closer, his voice obviously hit her harder, the words shooting like gunfire. His angered breath, however, also managed to reach her. It pressed upon her skin like a hot iron; her neck, her throat, her cheeks, all burned from the intense rage that had taken over the boy. She tried so hard not to flinch at the fiery pain that fell upon her, but she was already in a trembling state, which broke her resistance easily.
She also tried to keep eye contact with him, even though his eyes were the most frightening trait upon him at this very moment. They were never this angry right at the beginning…never. But early or late…it always came down to one thing…
"No… That's not tru--" You'd think she'd have been ready for it, bracing herself somewhat. But then…it never usually took so little to get him to this point either…
He would never swing at her completely flat hand, as it took much longer than a sharp flicking strike. And since he was faster than usual, it caught her completely off guard. Her words were silenced automatically as her head snapped to the side, the reverberations of whiplash rippling about the tiny room. Her hair scattered about her shot face, hanging helplessly as she fell still and silent.
As mentioned, her strikes were never of the flattened palm, but rather the rigid edge of the hand itself, usually using the muscular ball nearest to the wrist to inflict the most damage. Well… the starter strike anyways… He wasn't limited…by any means.
She was terrified now. He never hit her so early in the argument portion and even if he reached the "point" of striking, he never struck her that hard on the first hit. Her left cheek was always hit first…always, so it had built up what some might call a pain threshold, but this first strike felt like there had been no flesh there upon her cheek for cushioning, the hit immediately striking bone. She could already feel the tears of pain starting to build beneath her skin, the salt burning like it would on an external laceration. She was afraid…and knew she had to leave…before…
She slowly turned her head back to face him, though she kept her eyes down. The position made her look quite ashamed and humiliated for her stupid actions, even though to a bystander, they didn't seem that stupid at all. What did she have to be sorry for now? I'm still trying to figure that out myself.
-I don't want to be the one…the battles always choose…-
"…I-I'm…s-sorry…" His glare grew icier now, though the flames didn't truly fade either. He took a step closer, his hot, fervid breath biting into her scattered hair. His presence was becoming even more daunting than before, his anger again brushing into a "calm" state. There was also the fact that he was so much more dangerous at such a close range. His darkness gripped her even before he had the chance, binding and pressing painfully.
The black-gloved appendage that had just struck her not two seconds prior roughly shot up and harshly cupped her chin, thumb and index finger attempting to penetrate into her flesh. It was questionable sometimes if it would be less painful if his fingers actually went into the skin and released its precious crimson life, though to be honest, she probably couldn't tell the difference anyhow. He jerked her face upwards almost as viciously as he had shot it in the sideways direction and burned his violent aquamarine gaze into her shaking viridian ones again.
"What was that?" His iced tone clashed freakishly with his hell-fire breath as they both fell upon her throbbing cheek and frightened visage. She couldn't deny that she was scared of his glare, the darkness and its underlying elements so strong now that she almost feared he had lost the final battle, though her heart, despite itself, promised her it would be 'okay'; just do what it takes to get out of that room…
His fingers pressed harder, a cringe getting away from her and just giving him more reason to push deeper for a response.
"…I-I'm sorry…" She tried to speak more clearly, even with his hand compressing her jaw and the shaking in her chest. But for some reason, it just seemed to further aggravate him…
…There were never any right answers…only varying degrees of wrong ones…
"You're sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?" His voice had shifted again. The question…it almost sounded genuine with concern; confused as to why this poor girl was apologizing for nothing…
But she knew the voice was manipulative; even the lips were sometimes deceptive, but the eyes…those that always tell the truth…
…They didn't change…
She was used to this too; his usual method for forcing her to look at him when she felt too ashamed to do otherwise… Well…unless he told her to…
It used to make her really nervous, afraid of what exactly he wanted to see…or wanted her to see. But after a while, she stopped caring, the action not being too bad most of the time… But now…he was hurting her…squeezing so tightly… It was all she could do from breaking the gaze with him and crying in anguish…
…But after weighing the options… She just bit the urge back and did as he asked…
…Just like always…
"I-I shouldn't have been s-so forward…a-asking those stupid questions… I-I should have just left you be…" Another eerie pause, the silence more daunting than any form of darkness. His glare softened, as did most of his visual anger… His grip started to relax on her jaw…
So why was that concerned heart of hers pounding harder…and harder…and harder…
"O-Oh…I see…" His fingers and clutch loosened further, though not quite releasing her just yet. His voice had calmed down another note, though his face was still a sheet of ice. And yes, the notes were calmer…but…they still seemed…
…Angered… Insulted… Fit to kill…
"I must seem like a Heartless monster to you right now, huh?" Again, she desperately tried to protest, but he wouldn't hear of it. Her response lost volume and motion as his fingers slipped from her jaw, rotated a half turn and lay upon her trachea. Not choking, but not what one would call gentle. They sought to silence her…it worked…
She swallowed back her words and put more effort into holding still; her heart's freakish pulse was making her entire body reverberate. And she didn't need another thing that might make him upset…or moreso…
"So…vicious and hate-filled, huh? Blowing up about some insignificant statements, right?" She tried again, but was cut off once more, a little more harshly this time. He began to walk around her, brushing by her right side. His fingers never left her entity though; the tips pressing their way down her windpipe as he walked. They pushed bluntly onto her collarbone and eased their way to her shoulders as he moved.
"So volatile… So hurtful… A complete jerk…" He was behind her now, his controlled breath brushing through her hair, still managing to somehow reach her skin. His other hand copied his right and gripped her shoulders, eliminating yet another attempt to protest his statements. Her heart pounded harder and harder against her sternum, seeming to crack the bone as it begged her to get away…
…Too late…too late…
His hands began to squeeze her shoulders now, the intensity rising in small increments with each second that passed. Soon his fingers began to press into her shaking flesh like they had with her jaw, the pressure threatening to crush the bones soon. Her eyes did close this time, a pained gasp bursting from her lips, despite her attempts to stay unresponsive.
"Ri--"
"…A violent monster… Hell…I'm hurting you even now… Nothing but a twisted freak, right!" Tighter…stronger… Her body betrayed her again as her knees began to buckle slightly, the malevolent pain in her shoulders shooting throughout her entity. The tears were burning, but she kept them back, for reasons known only to her.
Despite the pain he continued to inflict on her, she still wanted to argue against his insults. Why? They were all true, weren't they? Why does she constantly defend him? He doesn't deserve it…
Looks and reactions are deceptive…but where does deception end and reality begin…?
"N-No… I don't th--" What happened next almost seemed staged, each action looking very well-played as though they had "rehearsed" it a few times prior. But in situations like these…there is no practice, even if it happened once or twice before. This though… just a random inspiration brutally sparked by unexplainable rage… Pity…
The table was specifically designed for the previous mage of the Bastion, his own personal creation. He had a habit for slamming his fist into his tables when something denied him, so they never lasted long. But rather than find a new way to vent his rage, he decided to modify his "thinking table". Sturdier, thicker, heavier…stronger. It may seem breakable when hit, but it proved time and again, that looks are deceiving.
He shoved her at an angle, though that didn't alter the velocity or force his furious arms threw her with. The table was just higher than her pelvis, just under her abdomen though. The table's edge struck her right side, the angle providing the harsher impact. The point of impact was frighteningly accurate for what he was attempting, catching her hip sharply and completely disrupting her center of mass. Yes…it seemed stunted, but most assuredly, no person can ever prepare for the volatile anger of the darkness.
The sheer force he threw her with provided such momentum, that with her center of mass ruptured, the injured girl literally flipped onto the table, cracking her wrists off the side as she did. But the momentum carried her forward, sliding her pained body across the wood and hurling her to the ground when the oak stretch ended. The horrific action almost seemed to move frame by frame, as though wishing to maximize the vicious injuries. But in reality, it really was only a matter of petrifying seconds; shock being her main focus until it wore off and her body became all too aware of the violent pain it was in.
She landed mostly on her back, though because of her motion, some of her previously struck side graciously slammed onto the stone as well. The sheer force of the fall tore a gasp of agony from her chest as it practically caved when she hit. She was lucky, if you could apply that word to her situation, that her skull managed to avoid striking the stone floor and no bones appeared to have been broken in the assault, though to be blunt, it was never a concern for her. A few Elixirs and a couple days time, no one would have known the difference. She learned that…faster than anyone ever should have.
Her wrists and arms, however, were not without some damage. The table edges managed to take a decent swipe at her wrists, leaving harsh, but fairly small cuts on the tops and her arms took a beating from the slam upon the stone. More pain…more tears, but still she held them beneath her eyes, refusing them with an intense determination and forced herself to get up…
…Efforts that constantly threatened to shatter what little she had left…
-…Because inside I realize that I'm the one confused…-
"Stubborn little bitch…" The back of his chosen weapon hand caught her right temple just as she had managed to pull herself to her knees. Though they were gloved, his knuckles bit deeply into her paled flesh, another small laceration for the tormented girl…
…Literally crying tears of shimmering crimson…
"Lying so openly to me like that…Arrogant bitch…" His last strike introduced her skull back to the icy ground, her throbbing chest now upon the Heartless stone. She could feel his enraged shadow hovering over her collapsed form, the very presence pressing her frightened heart into the ground.
…Stay down… Stay quiet… Maybe he'll 'forgive' you and just leave you be… Just stay down…
"…I-I…wouldn't d-do that… I wouldn't lie…to you…" She spoke with emotional confidence, though her battered form was cast upon the ground like useless trash. Emotional confidence… Despite the risk of her life, she would defy all but the true wish of her heart and assure that he didn't think she thought badly of him…
…Why does she constantly defend him…?
"What was that?" The heated malice in his voice made her inwardly cringe and that was exponentially heightened when his left hand took hold of her right arm. Squeezing with a piercing brutality, he jerked her back to her feet, took hold of her other arm and slammed her against the closest wall. His sadistic fingers delving into her upper arms, he yelled venomously into the top of her fallen head.
"What the hell did you say?" This time, her head didn't have the luxury of avoiding injury, the back smashing off the wall with a sickening recoil. Flinching from the raw anguish her fingers were producing on her limbs, she tried so hard to answer him without cracking.
…A verge she was all too used to…
"I-I w-wouldn't--" Her head cracked off the wall again, along with her upper body, cutting off her words like they were nothing…
…Not that it would come as a surprise…
"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" The viciousness in his words made no attempt to mask the statement as being a request. He needn't bother trying to hide it anyways; his flaming aqua spheres were threatening enough…
She didn't force herself to look at him upon his demand; she never had to. Two years of, at the very least, verbal abuse, and yet, she would never hesitate about looking at him when told…even when his eyes could kill…
"I wouldn't lie to you, Riku... " Again, despite the excessive abuse she had just endured, and the anguished pulse of her rapid heart, she didn't falter when her words were demanded. Why? Because she refused to think badly of him… But why…? He doesn't deserve her feelings or her heart…so why does she put herself through this day after day?
An ill-convinced scoff burst from his lips, his entire aura angering further. Seemingly, it was because of her bewildering determination, though in his state, to him, it was nothing more than ignorant defiance. And that was not to be taken lightly…
He threw her again, casting her violently across the hard floor without a slight notion of hesitation. He watched flatly as the cold, rough stone left gruesome abrasions upon any skin it managed to bite into, which unfortunately for her, was quite a bit…her arms and legs mostly…
But no sooner had she landed did she try and stand again…as though his savage treatments really weren't effective. But as she reached the three-quarter mark, his crushing hands shot out again, embracing her cut wrists this time, before slamming her into the uncaring wall once more. Bearing his forced weight down on her slightly bleeding appendages was excruciating as her hands rapidly lost circulation and fell prey to bruising almost instantly. His lower body shifted swiftly as his left side smashed into her injured pelvis, his hip painfully pinning the rest of her entity to the cold stone as well. Not that she ever fought back, but this completely discarded any means of escape…
…Trapped…regarded as nothing more than some disposable trash…yet the entrapping paradox remained the same… She couldn't escape…
"Do you think I'm stupid?" Again, the question hardly passed as such…as a request. He was almost diving for the "wrong" response, looking for any reason to defend his disgusting actions. She knew it too, but she also knew there was no answer that would suffice, and even though it might mean further hell, she wouldn't surrender, refusing to leave him believing she thought badly of him.
"No, I would never think that." His eyes narrowed maliciously, flaming daggers stabbing into her viridian vision. It was as though she had insulted him once again. He leaned into her throbbing wrists harder, and she could see the intent in his furious aquamarines; if he had an extra limb, sure as hell it would bear a blade to her throat.
"That's bullshit. Three straight days of pure silence between us, and you walk in here like nothing's wrong! A pathetic hopeful smile and such concerned words, despite everything you go through and you have the guts to tell me that you're not lying to me?" He moved closer to her, his scalding breath burning her cheeks and neck. The closer he got, the more the crushing pressure built upon her trapped entity. That violent aura about him, the invisible aura of rage, began to constrict around her heart again, compressing her chest into the wall as well.
She couldn't respond to his statement, but not because she didn't have an answer, but not because she didn't have an answer, but because she couldn't form the proper words when he was filled with hatred like this. Not because it changed her heart, but because he wouldn't understand as a result of the violent darkness that was about him. So often, it seemed like he would never understand, but it never affected her judgment. Strike after strike, one violent beating after another, and still, she stayed. Shuddering crimson tears slipped over her right side, falling slowly down her cheek and plummeting off her chin when they reached the edge.
The droplets weren't numerous nor were they fast; the latter mimicking her deeply rooted patience. But still they fell as though wishing to display her rejected emotion…the emotion she showed only when she was alone…
-I don't know what's worth fighting for…or why I have to scream…-
"Feh… I got it… You're patronizing me…" Even with her pinned entity, she flinched at his comment. She couldn't help it; even with all of her focus, she couldn't stop it. If there was anything that angered him instantly, it was that. The biggest problem? There were no guidelines for what he considered "patronizing", no set tone or arrangement of words… No… And it seemed like she was shooting blanks before…
Ever try to hit someone whilst blindfolded, light-headed, unsteady, frantic and in an atmosphere where the darkness is the only form of "light"? Probably not, but I'm sure the picture being painted here isn't hard to interpret…
"No…" Closer…harder…the bones barely keeping together… Such violent, angry flames within the shadowed aqua…
Two inch separation…then one… Malice overpowering…stifling…
"No? So what… I'm a liar now?" Hate…anger…hurting…
"No…" Pain…regret…tears of crimson…
"So I'm wrong then…" Intense…rage…torment…
"No…" Anguish…confusion…emotion…
"……" His glare hardened into a hate-filled look that she'd never seen on him before. Even on some of his hardest days, never had he looked at her with such vehement venom in his tormented aqua spheres.
Her breathing got shorter, her lungs acting as if it would be the last time they could. Slowly, very slowly, he leaned back; the immense pressure on her wrists and pelvis didn't lessen…if anything, it just got worse, practically merging her entity into the wall. Unlike hers, his breathing grew calm and controlled. Ironic, no? How those two extremes exist in such a situation, though the roles are often consistent. And how the more intense the one extreme is, the calm rage, the harder it is on the other, the frightened victim…
His head tilted down slightly, his silver strands casting the top half of his face into darkness, an icy shadow that sent chills into her chest. The expression his face bore still imprinted upon her petrified soul, she began to inwardly shrink, the outside of her entity doing the same to the extent that it could.
She had felt it coming in, the darkness more intense than she would have labeled the norm. It wasn't a new record, but for some reason, it had scared the hell out of her then and that same fear began to increase to a point where even she was not comfortable with. She was used to fear, used to being treated badly, and often unloved. She came to live in emotional distress and unnerving paranoia; all regarding her existence with this possessed child. She always shrugged it off; "it" pertaining to whatever a normal person would be horrified at, but she dealt with her demons.
She knew she was headed for hell the second she approached him. It was certain that she would at least get a tongue-lashing and she wasn't doubtful that he'd get angry enough to hit her. She knew the signs, and still she tried. Is she insane? Perhaps. Is she stupid? No… A victim? Yes…but of what?
"R-Riku…" Her voice shivered fearfully when his pale lips curled into a scowl of pure hatred. Why? It wasn't clear. It's as though hearing his name from her was the worst insult of all, watching her eyes tremble with saddened fear. It seemed to be what verified his existence as a violent monster…even if she didn't mean it…
"I've had it with you…" In what felt like a temporary pause in time, a second or at the most, two, his hell-fire aquamarines rose back to her. Something flashed in those enraged spheres and her heart stopped.
The sound of another palm-driven strike echoed maliciously about the room, followed by the collapse of the injured girl. She hadn't uttered a sound when he struck her again, nor would she ever intentionally. Why? Again, the reasoning was so unclear, but it seemed like she didn't want him to be pained by it.
Shaking, she pushed herself up off the ground again only to be met by a furious punch into the right side of her jaw. She didn't fall this time, but that didn't mean the hit was any less painful. Though the gloved cloth his hands bore was actually very soft, his knuckles bit into her flesh nonetheless. A new trail of crimson stained her skin as it slipped from the fresh cut upon the side of her mouth.
Still fighting back emotion, still denying a reaction, she gazed through scattered strands of metallic copper and whispered him another apology…
And what did that get her… A backhand across her just previously punched right cheek.
-I don't know why I instigate…and say what I don't mean…-
"Sorry…Sorry… You're always sorry!" Strangely, his words hurt even more than his hands, the sarcasm and disgust tearing at her heart. No matter what she did, even apologize for things undone, couldn't ease his pain in these times. And that hurt worse than any bruise or cut…
"And you never seem to mean it! You patronize me every single second that you breathe!" Another punch, to the stomach this time…
"No…" Another palmed strike, to its usual destination.
"Bullshit! You've incapacitated muscled freaks for glancing at you wrong, and yet, you don't do shit to me! Care to explain that?" Another demand rather than request, furious venom burning like acid. She's effortlessly thrown against the wall, throbbing right cheek slammed and pinned there viciously. One arm twisted backwards by a crushing hand while the nape of her neck was harshly compressed by the other forearm. Violently pinned, she cursed herself for her stupid actions. But what was she expected to do? Too passive…wrong… Too aggressive…won't help… A medium…? Did one actually exist?
Her heart begged her to cry, pleaded with her to release her emotions. It would hurt less physically, releasing the malevolent burning in her eyes and cheeks. But oddly, it would hurt her emotionally or moreso. It might save her since he may stop if her tears came free, but to her, it wasn't worth it…
…A victim… But of what…?
"I didn't mean any disrespect…" Cut flesh smashed against cold stone once more before her tattered entity is thrown across the room again. The abrasions tag-team each other and result in piling crimson upon her limbs. But still she stood… Stubborn…or determined…?
"Of course not! You never do!" Another punch…
"You treat me like a saint!" Another strike…
"You act like I worship you!" Another throw…
"You completely brush off everything I do to you!" Another hit…
"And then you tell me it's all right…that you don't care!" Again…and again… Strike…after strike…
"You live in hell, complete emotional hell and you deny it… Always acting like it's your fault!" Again…again…a…gain…
"Apology after apology, you lying little bitch!" He half-struck, half-shoved her once more, sending her beaten body sprawling across the room. Drawn to the previously thrown chair though some invisible magnetic force, she hit it and collapsed. Her legs practically began to bruise before she touched the uncaring stone once again.
Barely a second passed, barely a breath left her lungs before she attempted to move, dragging herself to her knees. Her hands came down in front of her, keeping her from collapsing, but shaking dangerously as she struggled painfully to breathe.
So focused on being there for him, even at the expense of her own life. Again, does it seem like she's stupid? Even the majority of her heart wanted her to stop, knowing she couldn't help him now tonight. And still she fights… Why?
-I don't know how I got this way…I know it's not all right…-
A hateful scowl took hold of his face as he glared down upon the beaten girl, now barely able to support herself on all fours anymore. Despite all that he had just done, she still refused to stay down and give up. That should have made him feel relieved, knowing that she was really willing to help him, but no… It's like the harder she tried to be kind to him, the more hatred she was dealt back, his rage repeatedly incrementing. Her breaths were shaken, bruises already prominent and vicious cuts scattered about her entity, but it all just seemed to make his next action more influenced.
Cursing at her again, he drove a hard kick into side and watched in piercing silence as she finally let out a form of verbal pain and flipped onto her back. Her slashed arms tearfully clutched her stomach, avoiding her ribs. They weren't broken, but they were definitely on the verge of it. Stopping her tears was almost impossible now, but somehow, she managed to bite them back…somehow…
Glistening blood finally escaped from her lips now, slipping hatefully slow from her already struck right corner of her mouth. It followed the example of her other crimson tears and fell ruinously over her frightened flesh. She tried to stifle the coughs that rose up from her chest, but they wouldn't be denied, spilling more of her life as its rose from her internal depths. Her breathing ability halved, only permitting anguished gasps to attempt to cling to the icy air about her, and that was quickly decreased further as her coughs took precedence.
He turned away and confirmed his next statement with burning ice, as though he really had no remorse for all that happened…for all that he did…
"Now get the hell out of my sight!" Biting back the violent pain that incessantly shot through her body, the beaten girl again forced herself to rise to her feet. Each movement was more agonizing than the last and it's a wonder that she didn't just collapse again, if only from exhaustion. Once mostly vertical, she bowed slightly to the enraged boy, offering her apologies once more, hoping he would accept them as sincere this time…this time…
Were her last actions stupid? Probably…but despite it all, she still refused having him think she hated him…it just wasn't so… she held a respect for him that no one else would, and she didn't intend to lose it…for anything…
"O-Okay… I'm…I'm sorry…for everything…" But before she could straighten again, his black-gloved fist came behind and closed around her scattered strands of hair, his knuckles driving deep into her skull. Jerking her head back sadistically, not a far cry from snapping her neck, he dragged her down, back onto her knees before baring a blood-stained blade to her throat. The blade…his blade…Soul Eater… The iciness of the blue membranous material alone threatened to take her life…
"I already warned you about patronizing me! One more word, just one, and your voice will be spilt upon this floor…leaving a permanent stain to serve as warning for the ignorant. You got that?" Her eyes shut out of anguish and pure fear, her sputtering breathing just shuddering out her response.
Somewhat satisfied, he moved the blade back slightly and threw her to the ground once again. His savage glare bore upon her, just waiting for another reason to attack, he watched heatedly as she jerked her way up and left him. She struggled to make her pain seem non-existent, though she failed miserably.
He waited until the door sighed with regret for what just happened here. The entire atmosphere had altered somewhat; that sinister aura of darkness wasn't truly gone, but was now overpowered by a deadly silence…as though his actions had even shocked those who encouraged it…
-So I'm breaking the habit…-
…And he knew it too…
Silvery strands again cast over his pale visage, hiding most of his face, which of course included his satanic aquamarine orbs. Slowly…silently…he slunk over to his over-turned and pained chair. Gripping the back, he emotionlessly lifted the fallen wood back to its original orientation and then re-placed it in its earlier position. He fell upon it, his hands came up, elbows being elbow support, and they cradled his head again, as though none of that even occurred…existed… Nothing, but a glitch of reality…save for one detail…
They were hidden to all, but one… Tiny trails of crystal shine emotion that displayed the truth behind the mask of lies.
-I'm breaking the habit…tonight…-