The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter
Chapter Two: The Love Lives of Hogwarts
Authoress Note: I was too lazy to go through this chapter, but spell check said that everything was correct, such as spelling and grammar, so...yes. I have nothing interesting to say, except that my friend, C, had crowned me Queen of Cliffhangers. And that's about all that I have to say, so I will just stop rambling.
I do have something to say, though. Jay and Bray are based off of real people. So, I hope you find that fascinating.
Disclaimer: I own all of the original characters, both new and old...okay, so I am too tired to come up with anything good, because I was at a dance for graduation last night until 11, because they wouldn't let me leave early, and then I didn't leave the place until 11:30, and then, I got to bed after midnight, I was going to proof-read the already typed up chapters, and fell asleep while doing that, with the light on, and woke up with a pencil poking my leg. And that was a very long run-on sentence. I'll just give you the story.
Dedication: This is for C, who helped write part of this chapter, and help me plot this thing, and who is going to be a fanatic fan girl with me when we see Harry Potter 3 on the 4th! I am like, insane about the new movie...anyway...the story...
Wednesday, September 8th, still, 9:49 PM
Hiding out in Bray (Sunshine) and Jay's (Happiness) room in the Slytherin Dorms
I'll get on to why I am in the Slytherin Dorms later, right now I'll write about what happened next.
Ok. So mum looks like she could kill me, and Dad just plops right down next to me at Gryffindor Table. "Lily," he said, "Did I ever tell you what Hermione told me the first time I ever set foot in this hall?"
"What?"
"She told me about the ceiling, and how it was enchanted to look like the sky."
"Right..."
"But that has nothing to do with why your mum and I are here. You violated school rules."
"Like you didn't when you went here?"
"Lily, that was twenty years ago. Totally different times."
"Oh yes, that was different because you had an evil dark lord after you."
"How did you know about that?"
"I read Dad. I read the history books that you are in, and I read that one series that you told the muggle woman to write. I'm not stupid Dad."
"I know. But sometimes, I just wish that you didn't know so much."
"Right..."
"But we are getting past the point. Dumbledore told you that you could not have band sessions, or what ever you call them, in the Astronomy Tower. Your mum is about to kill you."
"Right..."
"And I know what it feels like to not belong, and doing things to make you feel like you belong..."
"What make you think I don't belong?"
"Lily..." Obviously, he was not too good about being subtle. Honestly, he should take classes on it. Who randomly just goes out and says, "I know you don't feel like you belong!"
"Dad, I can't—God, you sound like a freaking shrink!"
"Lily—"
"Don't start Dad. Just leave me alone." And I ran away from that hall. I could tell that everyone was watching me. Then I heard somebody following me, as I came to a dead-end in a hallway.
"Lily?" Mum had come to see if I was okay. And she was the last person I wanted to see at that point.
"What?" I spat at her.
"Lily, honey, I need to tell you something."
I just looked at her.
"You know what happened down in the Chamber of Secrets, but what you don't know is what happened the summer after."
Again, I just looked at her.
"Right...Um...My mum was very, suffocating that summer, and I couldn't stand it. A diary had possessed me, because I was ignored. But that summer, it was nice to finally have people notice me, but not in an overprotective, suffocating way.
"And I did some thinking when I got that note from Dumbledore. I thought about how suffocating, I, myself can be. I remember what it was like when I was your age, because, truthfully, that was only eighteen years ago. And, I just want to make sure that you don't get hurt, and I can't stop thinking about you as my little girl who used to ask me to put your hair up for you so that you could go play with your brothers, and I am sorry for not letting you be your own person, but Lily, you need to obey the rules every once and a while."
I knew that she was going to mention breaking the rules.
"Lily, you need to start paying attention to what the rules are. I don't know what to do with you anymore. But I will try to give you more space. Please, promise me that you will obey the rules. Please Lily."
I looked at her. She understood? Understood what? Because as far as I could tell, nothing was wrong with me. And she and dad were going on about being suffocated and not belonging? What the hell were they talking about? I honestly did not know what they were getting to. And I didn't want to know. So I just ran away. And I ran to the only place I knew I would be accepted, the Seventh Year Slytherin Girls Dormitories. Or, as the rest of us know it as, Sunshine and Happiness', my two best friends', Lair. They were the only girls in our year sorted into Slytherin, but some say others were sorted into Slytherin as well, but by the first night, they all moved to Hufflepuff for fear of their sanity.
I kept on running until I reached the entry to the Slytherin Common rooms. I said the password, and was instantly and insanely welcomed by Sunshine and Happiness, because that is just what kind of people they are.
And just because I feel like it, I will write down their past. And also, because they are yelling at me that if I am writing, it should be concerning their remarkable and exotic pasts, which are full of overwhelming attempts of odd and unusual accomplishments on their part. Right...
Anyway, Sunshine and Happiness are actually Braessa and Jaessa Starsley. They are sisters, but I believe that at least one of them is adopted, if not both. They were taken from their wizarding families, and brought up by muggles, which might not have been too wise on whoever's part that was, because being raised by muggles only infused the strangeness of my two best friends.
Take Braessa, for example. She uses both American and Spanish muggle words, even though nobody knows where she picked them up. She loves the Japanese Culture, and has a fine collection of Japanese weapons, too. Not to mention she loves Shinedown, Revis, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Yellowcard, Audioslave, Disturbed, Marilyn Manson, Evanescence, Led Zeppelin, Queen, and Pink Floyd, which are all very much muggle bands. She also loves to sing and write, and almost never is without a song stuck in her head. But she still has her magical bits in her too. And Jaessa is just as interesting.
Jaessa likes the same things as Braessa, but hers are altered a little bit. Her hair is copper-red, with black tips, very different from Braessa. She loves to write, and constantly is. I don't think she could go a day without coming up with some new idea for a story. I could go on for forever about her, too, but I can't, seeing as Dan and Drew have walked in, Dan is walking over to me, and is now hugging me, saying that he understands how I feel, and I am like going to faint because I can feel his muscles he has developed from Qudditch, while Drew went over to Sunshine and they have gone over to a corner to converse, and Happiness just left, mumbling something like, "Fluff! Oh the horror! Just like those burning light bulbs...curse faulty light bulbs..."
Lily
Wednesday, or Thursday, September 8th, or is it 9th?
I don't know, but it is probably past midnight, so it probably is the 9th, anyway, I am behind the statue of Uric the Oddball.
I'm writing this down now, because once it happens I'll probably be too freaked out to write it down.
Anyway, this is what happened after Happiness left the room earlier. "Happiness really has a thing against "fluff" doesn't she?" From their corner I heard Drew and Sunshine talking about Happiness' hasty exit.
"Yeah..." Sunshine looked thoughtful, which is never good. "Maybe...we could really give her something to complain about." She whispered in his ear. Dan had left by now, saying that he missed lunch due to homework, and all I could think about how smart, and hot, and strong, and how amazing he is, and how I have been in love with him for like, ever, and... so he left to go to the kitchens, so I had nobody to consult with the possibility of the danger of the others plotting.
I was really scared, I mean, Sunshine plotting is bad enough but adding Drew to the mix? Never good, sometimes I think he secretly trains as a prankster with my uncles. I can just picture Uncle Fred saying, "May the prank be with you." And Uncle George saying, "And remember, always use Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes in your pranking endeavors!"
Anyway, I now sit behind this really ugly statue so I can see what happens to Happiness. They, Bray and Drew, have planned a prank snog session on the route of Happiness' usual evening walk. Happiness will probably be scarred for life; she told me once that the last thing she would ever want to see would be her sister and some guy having a snog fest.
Actually, diary, I think they won't be pretending...
Lily
Thursday, September 9th, 3:01 AM
My unbelievably empty dorm, unable to sleep due to my current state of shock
So I couldn't sleep, not after what I saw anyway. I wish now that I would have picked a different statue.
Happiness, or Jay Jay, takes a walk every evening without fail. She walks the 4th floor corridor past the statue of Uric the Oddball, which is really weird. So I figured if Bray and Drew were setting up a snog session they would do it somewhere around there. I was right, but I didn't know how right I was. Anyway, they set up shop right next to MY STATUE! If they had glanced to their right they would have noticed a horror-stricken Lily. But they were too interested in what they were, uh...doing.
You know, for this being a prank, they were having a pretty good time with it.
So a few minutes into their fun, Happiness comes walking along the hallway. When I saw her face I knew there was a reason I was sitting here. It was priceless, scary, but still priceless. I was suddenly glad I bewitched my Polaroid camera.
I leapt from behind the statue, camera flashing. Drew, Bray, and Jay were in various stages of embarrassment and rage. All of them chased me back to Gryffindor Tower right into...
The arms of my crush, which I have been in love with for like, ever. Dan was just standing there, staring on in shock at the scene. Happiness was green in the face, about to cry, and Drew and Sunshine were back to getting it on in their own little world. It was really disgusting. I mean, from a best friend point of view, I could see where they both were coming from. I mean, if you saw your sister, and some guy going at it, or your brother and some girl going at it, you would be disturbed too.
"Jesu Christo!" Jay Jay screamed. "What are you people? Rabbits?" She cried, running away. I watched her as she ran away.
"Happiness!" I yelled after the retreating form, but it was in vane. I started yelling at Drew and Bray, because I knew I could never catch up with Jay Jay.
"HOW COULD YOU? YOU JUST SCARRED HER FOR LIFE!" And I turned around, grabbed Dan's hand, and tromped off, leaving the other two to continue their snog session. Dan and I—well, Dan rather reluctantly—stomped off to the common room, while I was mumbling about the indecency of people these days.
"Uh...Lils? Do you think you could let go of me? I really need to be somewhere..." He said, looking slightly uncomfortable.
"Oh sure," I said, letting go of his arm, and coming up here to write.
And something just dawned on me. Where was Dan going? Maybe he was going to meet some girl who looked like that annoying American actress-turned- horrible-wanna-be-pop/trying-to-look-slightly-punk-in-order-to-attract- older-teens-singer-who-really-sucks named Hilary Duff, or something, in a broom closet, and snog her senseless? All because he is so totally uninterested in me, and would so date a blonde muggle before going out with me! He would probably date a mule before he would date me! God, I am so hopelessly in love with my brother's best friend... And then...what if the girl was like, the next Albert Einstein, and all, and he ran off with her, and had little Einstein's, and then be like, "Lily who? Oh, her...ya, she was my intelligent best friends little sister. Didn't she used to be obsessed with me or something?" Or say something like that in his smart ways, leaving me to worship the ground he formerly walked on...
Lily
Still September 9th, only it is 3:36 AM
Same place, only not in shock
I just read my last paragraph, and discovered something. I have serious insecurity issues. Merlin, help me.
Living with a major lack of self-confidence romance wise,
Lily
Sunday, September 26th 10:43 PM
My room, with excruciatingly painful cramps
My apologies for not writing for so long, Happiness thought that as a get- you-back-for-not-stopping-then prank, she hid you, in the owl droppings of James' owl, Alexander Julian. Don't ask about the odd name, I believe James was participating in some under-age drinking when he came up with the name...
Anyway, the point is that NEWTS are like, 10 months away, and the teachers are rubbing it in our faces. Literally. Example A: Snape. In potions class a week ago, he was lecturing us about how our essay writing skills need to improve before we even THINK about taking NEWTS, and I could here him literally sniggering under his breath, "it has been 30 years since I had to take those things...he, he, he, I think that I will get drunk tonight, and try to have a threesome with some drunk people at the bar..."
And that is just wrong. Teachers should be kind, caring, gentle people, who do not decide they are going to have threesomes with other drunken people that night in the middle of class. It is just wrong.
Lily
Thursday, September 30th 6:06 PM
In the Great Hall, staring longingly at Dan, without him noticing
Right, so NOTHING has happened this week. That is like, a record for this school. Oh, but I did meet some of the first years, though. They are really shrimpy this year. Like, the tallest one is 4'1". It is really sad. They are so small, and it didn't help them that one week when all Drew would say was chants to Buddha. That was hilarious.
That week, in potions, Snape asked him what the main ingredient in the Polyjuice Potion was, and as a reply, Drew started chanting.
"OH BUDDHA..." he chanted, "GIVE OL' SNIVELLUS THE COURAGE NOT TO ASK US QUESTIONS THAT HE KNOES NOBODY HAS THE ANSWER TO IN ORDER TO DECUCT POINTS FROM OUR HOUSES. AND ALSO, HELP HIM LEARN HOW TO WASH HIS HAIR, BECAUSE IF SEVVY OVER HERE WERE TO GO TOO CLOSE TO A FLAME, HIS HAIR COULD CAUSE A GREASE FIRE...AND HELP HIM WOO PROFESSOR SINISTRA, FOR WE ALL KNOW HE SECRETLY LUSTS AFTER HER. ALSO HELP OUR DEAR SNIVELLUS LOSE THE DARK ARTS JOB THAT WE ALL KNOW HE WANTS, AND PLEASE, HELP THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN HIS FAN CLUB GET HELP." Needless to say, he got detention for a month for it.
Anyway, one of my dad's friends, Neville Longbottom, his first kid, Neptune Longbottom started school this year. I think half the school laughed when "Longbottom, Neptune," was called. But, I feel sorry for the poor kid, I mean, it's not his fault his mother was known as Loony Lovegood when she went to school. But, anyway, he walked up to me this week, and was like, "Lily?"
I looked down at him. I babysat him a few times, seeing as I am seven years older than him, but I haven't seen him in a year or so.
"Hey! Neptune! How are you?"
"Um...L-L-Lily, t-t-the one b-b-bloke w-w-who is d-d-doing B-B-Buddha ch-ch- chants, he s-s-started doing o-o-one ab-b-bout me..."
"Ya, what about it?"
"A-a-am I-I-I f-f-forgetful?"
"No...why would you ask that?"
"T-t-the b-b-bloke do-o-oing th-th-the ch-ch-chants...h-h-he s-s-saw me g-g-g- g-get th-th-the r-r-remberall th-th-that me dad s-s-sent me. And h-he s-s- said th-that I w-w-was f-f-forgetful."
"Oh, don't mind him. His name is Drew, and he is in Ravenclaw. Your mum's house, isn't it? So, don't mind him, he is just a little bit off his rocker. By the first sixteen jokes, you'll get used to him. In fact, he gets down right annoying. I honestly have no idea what Sunshine sees in him...now go along to class."
Ok, see? I have a nice, friendly, caring, considerate side to me! Oh, my Godfather wants to see me in his office...something about Sirius punching the wall...
Lily
Still September 30th, I have no idea what time it is
Comforting Sirius in Dumbledore's Office
So my Godfather, who also happens to be Dumbledore, called me up to his office. I thought that he just wanted me to take Sirius down to the hospital wing, because the last time Sirius punched a wall, he refused to have anybody except myself take him to the Hospital Wing.
I entered Dumbledore's office, and as soon as I did, a hysterical Sirius launched a teapot at me.
"Lily," Dumbledore said, "young Sirius here has been in hysterics for near an hour. He has frightened some portraits, which now need to have counseling. Can you please calm him down?"
I nodded, trying, but failing miserably, to calm my distraught brother. I went over, and sat down on the sofa in the office, while Sirius threw some more objects at random spots in the room, as the headmaster left quietly, calling Fawkes with him.
"Sirius, what's wrong? Why did you punch a wall? Again?"
"It's nothing. I just...was...frustrated I guess."
"What happened?"
"Nothing, Libby just dumped me in front of everybody, and then I got into a fight with the Slythrin Quidditch Team over practice times."
"Oh."
"And you know who Libby is going out with now?"
"Who?"
"Freddy Weasley."
"Our cousin? George's kid? You're kidding, right?"
"No, I'm not."
"Wow. She dumped you, for someone who shares like, a fourth of our genes. That is just freaky."
"And you know what is worse? I started beating up the Slythrin seeker. Right in front of Snape."
"Oh."
"And, so Snape was all 'Mister Potter, you better have a good reason to be beating up my seeker.' And then I said, 'No sir, I don't. In fact, I just felt like beating him to a pulp because he got shirty with me over practice times.' That really didn't sit well with the greasy git. And then, Libby was all yelling at me when she broke up with me, and God, I really liked her Lils. And, Lils, I was going to ask her on graduation."
"Sirius, wow. But, really, she was a girl, and Snape is a basterd. Forget Libby. Yes, you thought she was the 'one,' but she obviously did not feel the same way about you."
Ok, so the speech was really aimed for a girl who got dumped, but hey, change a few words, and it works for Sirius.
"But Lily, she..."
"SIRIUS! She is JUST A GIRL! Don't let her get to you. So, to help you get over Libby, who I hated from the start, and I have no idea why you would want to marry her, we are going to compile a list of the best-looking girls at Hogwarts."
"Lily, that sounds really gay, you know that, right?"
"Shut up. I am allowing you, my little brother, to say what you want about five girls, and I will not get mad at you for saying vulgar things about them, either. You write down names, and a commentary about each person, and I also write a commentary. You can write what ever you want about each person, and I will write about that person's personality."
"Okay... Lily, this still sounds completely girlish and gay..."
"Hey! Whenever a girl gets dumped, this always supposedly works! I wouldn't know, because I don't participate in these things. You are going to do the same thing, only make a list of girls."
I got a quill and some parchment from Dumbledore's desk, and presented it to Sirius. I'll copy the list in here, because Sirius wanted to keep the original, why, I do not know.
Sirius Potter's List of the 5 Hottest Girls in Hogwarts and in the World
With Commentary by Sirius Potter and Lily Potter
Abigail Finch-Fletchley
Sirius: Understandably, this fine girl had many reasons for having the number one spot. She is a total babe, and her rack is amazing. She is also hard-to-get, not like Rose Parkinson, who is ultimately rumored to be the easiest lay since her mother left school, 22 years ago.
Lily: Abigail, she is totally sweet. She is really bubbly and a total prep. The whole deal with being in Hufflepuff does have a slight draw back, and is really sensitive ever her mother died two years ago. But, she has a great personality, and is the smartest person in her house. She is also very pretty. And although she is very much prep, she is not stuck up. Her wonderful personality is enough to earn her #1.
Emily Wood
Sirius: Emily, and really hot always go together. She is totally hot, but she is totally taken by Elijah Nott, bass player in the band of Slytherin, which currently in-between names.
Lily: Emily does look nice, and she definitely is popular with the guys, but she is one of the snottiest gits this side of the English Channel I have had the horror to meet. Her mother and Dad did have something going for a while in Dad's fifth year, and according to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, of to which was wonderfully written by the way, her mother Cho Chang Wood cried through half of the date, and promptly left Dad in the middle of the date. I personally hate Emily, and wish she was never born, one, because she goes around whispering "Lily is a Goth" to her make- believe posse, and two, because on Valentines Day last year, I was wearing black, because I hate the color pink, she turned my outfit pink, there forth forever branding herself on my "I Hate You List."
Hilary Duff
Sirius: Although she is a muggle, she is totally hot, and looks great in a bathrobe. Example: The one music video that is played in Disney Channel (satellite TV rocks, and my cousins like watching Disney when they are over) all the time. I would investigate why she is wearing a bathrobe, but whenever it is played, Lily starts screaming.
Lily: Two words: Hate Her. She is a wanna-be, and I have no idea who she wants to be. Hilary Duff has this attitude to her that just wants to make you hate her. I hate her and her songs suck, and so do any movies and TV shows she has been in. The only reason I have ever seen her is because my cousins watch TV whenever my cousins come over, they demand that we watch Disney Channel, and they like, LOVE her. It kills me...
Amanda Boot
Sirius: Amanda is a nice girl, who looks good, and whom I can honestly say is a very nice person. She has no acne, and will let you use her homework for copying purposes, as long as you let her use some of your homework for something she didn't do.
Lily: I don't know Amanda, but I am assuming that she is a very nice person. The only girls I really know that well are Sunshine and Happiness. I have talked to her though, as she asked me once to help her with a homework problem. From the six words I exchanged with her, she seemed to be a nice person.
Olive Creevy
Sirius: She looked nice in that one dress she wore to the Yule Ball I took her to in the Fourth Year, and she is hot. There was a slight dispute between her and Amanda Boot, but Olive had one pimple last week, which is gone now, so she holds number 5. Olive is hot, and sweet, and gave me my first snog session in a closet.
Lily: Well, that insight on my brother's sexual life was interesting, but Olive is a nice person, and grew up only knowing her father, as her mother was a muggle who abandoned Olive and Olive's Father, Dennis, when she found out that Dennis was in fact a wizard. She is a very sweet person who is very passive, but has been known to say, "If a young, good-looking bloke needs a good snog session, I'll provide one, but go no further." At least the girl has morals, and is still a virgin.
So, that is the compiled list. Sirius is now trying to play the movie that the Muggle Studies professor charmed to play at Hogwarts...so I must go, he seems to have calmed down, whoops, my mistake, he just threw the charmed movie into Dumbledore's Pensive...
Lily
To be continued...
Author's End Notes: Okay, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! I mean it, too. I thought, I would be nice, and not bug you, dear readers, about reviewing, and let you decide to review on your own, but it is not working. Really, just seeing one review a day makes my day, because it makes me, as a writer, and someone who does not like to have my work displayed so people can see it (or at least my poetry), feel really good about the quality of writing that I am producing.
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