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Driving Forces (part two)
No good deed goes unpunished.
Draco's words still echoed around in Ginny's mind long after the conversation had ended. She wondered what had happened to make him believe so forcefully in that awful and wrong phrase. Or maybe, a small unwanted voice whispered, maybe he is the one who is right. Would Good eventually triumph over Evil? And if Draco was right; would the cost be too high to easily pay? What cost would be too high?
Family The word tugged at hidden strings inside her heart. Would the Defeat of You-Know-Who be worth the loss of her family? Of Harry? Or Hermione, the older sister she never actually had? Would she willingly trade lives of everyone she loved to stop one of the world's greatest evils? To have to watch everyone else celebrate while she mourned the loss of her loved ones? Was she that strong? Could she carry on as Lupin did? Never complaining, but carrying around a deep and hidden pain.
She would like to think that she could carry on with a semblance of his dignity. However, the truth always seemed to be more complicated than a simple yes or no. She prayed she never found out.
Ginny turned onto her side. She and Draco had lay down some time ago to get some sleep. She however was not quite tired enough to even attempt it. She hesitated too even guess how tired she would have to be to get some sleep on the solid stone floor. Looking over she spotted Draco's shadowy corner and wondered if he had gotten any sleep.
"Draco" no response.
"Draco" this time she whispered louder.
This however produced a reaction. There was a shifting in the shadows, and she heard him issue a long and loud sigh. A barely auditable string of words, which sounded suspiciously like terms she had heard Charlie use when a dragon stomped on his foot, soon followed.
"What?" he demanded irritably.
"Nothing, I just wanted to know if you were awake."
"Well I am now. So what do you want?"
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."
"Yes, well having one's name called will do that to most people."
"Are you always this grumpy when you wake up?"
"Yes, generally. Now why did you want to know if I was awake?"
"I couldn't sleep so I thought that if you weren't asleep we could keep each other company for a while. The silence down here is starting to freak me out a little." Ginny stretched some of her sore muscles and sat up to lean against her wall.
From across the room the sounds of movement and dragging chains echoed in the otherwise silent room. She watched Draco come out of his darkened corner. Ginny winced anew at the red welts over his body. His long dirty hair fell into his face and highlighted the gauntness of his face. He looked, she thought, much as Sirius Black had in his wanted posters. And about as sane.
"So now that we are both awake how shall we pass the time humm? His now familiar drawl mocked her. As usual. "How about I ring for tea and we will adjourn into the sitting room? Or, perhaps we can take time to stroll about the garden for a small chat?" His scornful words struck Ginny hard.
"I.." Ginny tried to clear the lump in her throat. "I am sorry I woke you up. Please go back to sleep. I won't bother you again." She said softly.
From across the room Draco grumbled and presumably took her at her word for he soon fell silent. Ginny wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head against her knees. She had never felt so alone in all of her life. She had never been so alone in all of her life. She wondered if her family even had a clue about where to start looking for her. Her eyes watered. She doubted it. Even she didn't know where she was. There were not exactly many landmarks in this cell. If only she had a way to…
Ginny's head snapped up as a thought occurred to her. Professor Snape. Perhaps she could contact him. They had studied long and hard together in productive, if not overly congenial, sessions. It was possible to contact…. Her thoughts trailed to a halt as the memory of one particular lesson came to mind.
It had been during one of the very last lessons she had taken for Occlumency. She and Professor Snape had been sitting in his office late at night. Ginny remembered that they were feeling especially pleased with each other after that particular lesson. Very tired and drained, if she recalled right, but pleased. She had finally managed to refuse him entry into her mind three times in a row. That, considering his great skill, was an impressive thing indeed.
"Professor, may I ask you a question?" she had requested quietly.
"Are you capable of asking an intelligent question Miss. Weasley?" his deceptively soft voice asked her in return. He had arched one eyebrow in a mocking manner.
"Do you think I will be able to keep You-Know-Who out? Is it possible for me to develop shields that he cannot break through?" she asked hopefully.
"That was a stupid question Miss. Weasley." He drawled. Ginny felt a smile start to break out upon her face. "Of course you cannot develop shields that will keep out the Dark Lord. Do not be absurd." Ginny felt the forming smile fall from her features.
"Sir, I am afraid I do not understand." She struggled to keep her facial expressions neutral. "I am able to keep you out of my mine already, and you are considered one of the top practitioners."
Snape looked down his long nose to stare at her derisively. Ginny struggled to maintain her neutral expression. She felt her eye twitch.
"The only person that the Dark Lord cannot defeat is Dumbledore. While you do possess a small measure of raw, untrained, and unreliable skill, you do not compare with Dumbledore." Snape was in full sneer by the time he was finished. Ginny forced herself to take a calming breath.
"Sir, if that is true how is it that your shields are enough to stand against him?" Calm, she must retain her calm.
She concentrated upon one of the rules he had set in stone when she had first started to take lessons from him. 'The moment she raised her voice or ceased to think rationally she would no longer receive lessons from that moment on.' His eyes glittered from across the desk. Whether from appreciation or mocking laughter she couldn't tell.
"My shields can't stand up against him Miss. Weasley. Yet he has not broken them. So you tell me. How do I do it?" he goaded.
Ginny's mind grabbed onto the challenging problem at once. She rapidly considered and rejected several possibilities. He had already admitted that his shields would not stand up to a direct assault. She seriously doubted that Voldemort would trust anyone who kept up shields against him. However, he would surely be suspicious if he discovered that someone of Professor Snape's abilities would not keep a mind block up at all times. Therefore, the question was how Snape kept his mental block up when it was sure to have been destroyed. It was almost as if he had…
"More than one mental block." She finished the rest of her thoughts aloud and watched the Professor to judge the accuracy of her theory.
He gave no acknowledgment of her accurate deduction aside from a tiny brief nod.
"So," she mused out loud. "it would be possible to connect to someone even as Voldemort was inside a smaller part of…" she broke off mid sentence as Snape interrupted her.
"Never, never try to contact me while I am in the presence of the Dark Lord." Snape's rough velvet voice washed over her. "He can tell if I was in contact with someone else and would wonder that he did not know what the conversation was." Ginny felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise as he continued to hiss venomously at her.
"But Sir, I could not tell if you were in contact with someone else." Ginny stated reasonably.
"Yes, however, my soul is not bound to yours now is it?" Her heart froze at these words.
She had known that the dark mark provided You-Know-Who with a direct link to all of his Deatheaters, but she had no idea that he had imprinted his mark on their souls as well. She had felt ill upon hearing those words and had stood up to leave. When she reached the door his words made her stop and turn around to look at him again. He had several stacks of paper in front of him now. Presumably she had kept him form his grading.
"Not bad work on discovering how I avoided my mind being completely read. It took you to long to figure out, but at least you did." It was fairly obvious that he was already starting to put her out of his mind as he started to grade papers. Ginny gave him a cross between a smile and a grimace to acknowledge the backhanded complement.
"Thank you sir. So kind of you to say so sir." The sarcastic words slipped out before she could quite halt them. She stifled another sigh and turned towards the door.
"You were sorted into the wrong house Miss. Weasley. You are wasted in Gryffindor" Snap's absentminded words made her turn around again.
"Sir?" she questioned. "Which house do you suppose I should have been sorted into?"
"Why Sly… Hufflepuff of course. No other place for someone like you."
"I dare say you may be right Professor Sir." Ginny growled.
As she stepped out into the hall and closed the door, she heard Professor Snape give a loud snort. If it was out of disdain or humor, she couldn't say. One never knew with Snape.