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Japanese Terms: Daijobu deska? (Are you all right?) Daijobu des (It's all right.)

Awakenings 5

Hinata sat high up in the tree at the edge of town, hidden in its dark shadows. She fit snugly on a wide branch that was surrounded by a thick outgrowth of other branches that grew so close together they provided a sort of hidden, uneven platform way up in the trees. It was one of Hinata's many hiding spots. She had a wide and fairly far reaching view of the part of Konoha's streets as well as the surrounding forest area. She leaned her body against the tree truck, looking out at the view of tree tops and the occasional flying bird or buzzing insect. The sun was making its slow, early-afternoon stroll across the sky away from its high noon position. There were times when she would spend a hours up there enjoying the view, the peace and quiet, the solitude.

Shifting her body and swinging her legs over the big branch, she turned to face the Konoha view. Though she still enjoyed the all one existence, she waited eagerly for a glimpse of spiky, yellow hair in the distance headed her way. Again, as has been routine for quite a few months now, she was meeting Naruto for another training session. Today they had agreed to spend some more time working on the secret technique in the scroll Hinata had found hidden in the Hyuuga mansion. Hinata had shown Naruto this particular spot and they had agreed to meet there as was usual for their secret training sessions and travel through the trees silently in order to avoid the gaze of curious eyes.

She looked forward to seeing him, looked forward to his smile, his brazen ways, and the uncertainty she saw in his eyes despite his outward confidence. She remembered the many days at the academy when he was the brunt of class jokes, the laughing stock of the class, the last one to get picked for teams…she remembered feeling bad for him. But it wasn't the pity that made her develop her want to comfort him over the years, it was the admiration she had for his continual struggle against all the odds. She saw the hurt in his eyes when the other children laughed at him, but he came back to class every day, pushing through their taunts, even if meant getting in trouble with his silly antics. She saw how on the first day of academy, when a member of the family was to be present, that Naruto had come alone, how all the adults threw him looks of distaste and how their children followed suite. She had seen the sadness in his eyes, but also how he would wash this away with talks of his dream to be hokage.

From afar she saw all of this, always too afraid to approach him, and even more so when she realized she had feelings him…she had spent many of her hours in solitude pondering the meaning of her feelings, how they had came out of her desire to care for this person who had won her admiration. She knew she had a choice, to act on these feelings and get the attention of the object of her admiration and affections or to hide. Her choice was never completely one way or the other, wavering back and forth. But for the most part, she chose to hide, to run away from the possibilities both good and bad. That was her problem, she often was afraid of the negative consequences and was often willing to throw away the positive consequences to avoid the negative. She has fought this fear, though, all her life, and she had managed to accomplish some things. However, it was the fear that really held her back from her true potential. Even she understood this, that there was a last stretch of the track that she never ran, never finished.

The fight with Neji flashed across her mind. Naruto's voice cheering her on in the background, and her decision that she couldn't leave that last stretch undone, not when Naruto was watching, not when a person she admired for always fighting until the end, until he could do no more, until he absolutely had nothing more to give and would then give some more. Then she had done it, fought Neji and held back nothing, going all the way, even near death. She took a deep breath. And then there was the night she confessed to Naruto that she admired him and why she did. How happy she was when he offered to help her train. How wonderful it has been spending time with him. How much she looked forward to seeing him every day.

In the distance she saw it, the head of spiky, yellow hair bobbing its way down the street in her direction. Before she could break out in a smile, she noticed that next to him was a head of pink hair. The two of them came closer, and Hinata could see them talking and laughing with each other. Sakura. Feeling a sort of panic, a number of things ran through her head. Naruto wouldn't hurt me. Wait, we haven't promised each other anything. He's been on the same team with her for so long. He's always made his feelings for her known to the world. The day they had accidentally held hands. The training they've done together. All of the smiles and talking and laughing. All the time together. It all seemed to melt into nothing. She felt her chest sinking, as if a black hole had opened up where the space between her lungs was supposed to be, draining everything into it, into a meaningless oblivion. Unknowingly, her body sunk with her spirit, slumping forward like a blow up doll loosing air through a rip. She leaned listlessly against the tree trunk, her head hanging forward, unable to muster the will to do anything else. She saw nothing else of the simple scene before her, lost in some dark dimension of her mind.

She was lay like this for awhile until a pair of blue eyes under spiky, yellow hair peeked up cheerfully through the thick of branches. The merriment in Naruto's eyes quickly disappeared when caught sight of Hinata. He moved lightly towards her.

"Hinata? Daijobu deska?"

She woke a bit from her trance, realizing that he was there in front of her.

"Huh? Oh, ano, I'm not feeling so good today."

"Let's go to the hospital then," Naruto replied, his eyes full of concern.

"No, it's all right, I think I'm just tired. I just don't feel like training today." She avoided looking into his eyes.

"Oh, uh, okay, I can walk you home then."

"No, no, it's okay." She willed herself to move out of her place and onto a lower branch. A hand came down on her shoulder and gently held her in place.

"Hinata, what's wrong?"

"I'm just not feeling like doing anything today, that's all." She tried to pull away from his hand. It burned her shoulder to feel his touch. It hurt. He held firm.

"Hinata, I'm not letting you walk home alone like this. What's wrong?"

She turned her head away from him. Unable to say anything else, she just kept her eyes downcast holding back tears that threatened to burst out of her pale eyes. I can't do this. She wanted to run far, far away from this place, far from him, away to a place where there was only her. The only place she ever felt safe.

Naruto felt a sickness in his stomach. In the past few months, he had never seen Hinata act like this. He had no idea what had brought it on. I wonder if she was like this a lot before we started spending time together. Dense as he knew himself to be, he could see that she was suffering from a wound that sprung from something deep inside her.

"Hinata," he said in a firm voice, "I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's wrong."

His words were met with more silence, more turning away, more hiding of the eyes. His eyes softened.

"Hinata-chan…" he started.

Hinata was too lost in her own world of self-pity to notice the addition of the term of endearment he added to the end of her name. He had never ever called her chan, little Hinata, in tone that meant his Hinata-chan.

She could not, however, ignore what he did next. With his free hand, he reach up and slipped it around the cheek of her turned-away face, guiding it to turn towards him. His lips reached up, and he kissed her forehead. For a moment, it seemed everything that had been flowing through her head stopped in shock. Then, with her face now firmly cupped in his two hands, she watched in utter disbelief as he looked into her eyes with a tender smile on his face, his bright blue eyes looking warmly into her wide, pale eyes that were full of shock

Inside Naruto's head he screamed, WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING? HAVE I GONE CRAZY? At the same time, he felt a stream of affection and concern spring up inside of his chest, and he wanted so much to see her smile again.

"Let's go get some ice cream, ne?"

Hinata's face went through a transition from shock to confusion. Then she gave Naruto a look that broke his heart. Her eyes were desperate, pleading silently to him for something that he could not understand. Large pools of tears formed at the bottom of her eyes and streamed down her face as her lips trembled from the feelings she could not utter. She looked down as the tears dripped off her chin onto her two hands which were clasped tightly in her lap. She tried to turn away, her face and body trembling. I want to go. I don't want to be here, she thought again.

Naruto refused to release her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in a deep embrace, cradling her head with is right hand over his left shoulder. He knew she wanted to leave. Her whole being was trying to pull away from him. He wouldn't let her go.

"Ne, Hinata, daijobu des. I'll help you through this, whatever it is. Just don't go away. Please."

Hinata started to sob silently, her crying coming out airily as she tried to make as little noise as possible. With that release, her whole body contracted and loosened, as if she was suffering from some prolonged seizure that came and went slowly, throbbing through her body. At that point, she was helpless to his hold on her. Naruto shifted his body so that he sat next to her, facing the other direction on the branch towards the trees and away from the Konoha streets, facing her. He wrapped his arms around her straining and shaking body, pulling it to lean into his adjacent body, burying her face into his chest as he rested his right cheek lightly on her head, her blue hair silky against his skin.

He was still puzzled over what had brought this on all of a sudden. Why he had found her like this? Why he was comforting her in his arms? Why he had kissed her on the forehead? In a way, it seemed like a dream that was playing tricks on the routine happenings of what was supposed to be another day of training together, another day with her. He stroked her head and shifted so that his lips and nose where pressed against her head. What's wrong? he thought towards her as he felt the sobs and hiccups convulse her body. Why was he so unrestrained in showing his affections to her today of all days? The talk with Sakura might have played a part, he thought to himself.

After a long while, Hinata's sobs began to subside. She pulled away from him, this time only to pull a handkerchief out of her pocked and clean off her face.

"Gomenasai," she said, her voice still shaking from crying, and she tried to wipe the spot on his jacket that was wet with her tears.

"Daijobudes, Hinata-chan."

He put one hand up to her cheek and wiped away another tear that was making its way down her cheek with his thumb.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Mmh," she said, trying to sound a bit cheerful, though she still hiccupped from the crying. He grabbed the handkerchief from her hand and wiped her face. He smiled brilliantly at her.

"So, how about some ice cream?"

"Mmh," she said again, managing a weak smile.

His heart soared at the sight of this.

"Let's go then!"