The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter
Chapter Thirteen: A Thanksgiving From Hell, Literally

Authoress Note: You guys have NO idea how much fun I had writing this chapter. Honestly, I had the best time writing this. I started on plot ideas with my friends for this all the way back on May 21st! So anyway, I hope you all love this, as much as I do.

Disclaimer: I don't think JKR would to this to Ron....

NOTE: Check the end of the chapter for review replies!

Dedication: To my very painful sunburn that I got at the baseball game on the 4th. But hey, my team won!
Thanksgiving

Right, so, this is just going to be one whole long entry about thanksgiving.

So, anyway, like I said, mum and the entire family came early.

Me: Mum! What are you DOING here?

Mum: Well, silly, I am here for thanksgiving of course! With the whole family!

I looked behind her, and saw like, a mob of red hair. It was insane. I was like, NO! She did NOT bring the whole family. But she did. Sadly.

Thousands of cousins: LILY!!!!!!!

Me: Save me...

Dad: (to mum) It's been so long. Do you want to go explore it again?

Mum: (to dad) Sure! Lily, your father and I will be back by dinner.

I swear that woman has been in too much of a good mood lately. I wonder what Dad has been doing to her.

I DID NOT JUST THINK THAT! EWW! I DID! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??????

My Family: LOTS OF COMMOTION

The Student Body: Look at all that HAIR

Me: Let me die. Let me die. God, why do you hate me? Buddha, what did I ever do to you?

Dan: What is your whole family doing here?

Me: (helplessly) I have no idea...

Dan: Lets say that we get out of here.

Me: Okay...

Dan: I know a great spot that we can go...

Well, the great spot was my dorms. And we made out. For THREE hours!!!!! But, we didn't do it. And that's okay. My boyfriend was nice enough to save me from my family for THREE HOURS!!!!!! I really do love him. So, anyway, after that, we went back down to the Great Hall. That was a disaster.

Me: God, look at this place, it's swarming with people!

Hermione: DAN! Oh baby! Sweet heart! How are you?

Dan: Mum...

Hermione: Lily! How are you dear?

Me: Okay, I suppose.

Draco: Well, that's good. Hermione, what muggle holiday are we here for?

Hermione: Thanksgiving, dear. Thanksgiving.

Draco: Oh, so that's what holiday this is!

Dumbledore: Everyone! Please! Sit down at your family's table! Our feast is about to begin!

Me: Oh dear lord. Save me.

I ended up sitting next to my Uncle Ron. He was acting really odd, he was really shifty, and didn't like talking to Mum...anyway, so, we were all dishing ourselves tofu turkey, when the Great Hall doors burst open, and Bellatrix Lestrange ran in.

Me: NO! CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE? WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Dan: YOU! What do YOU want with me?

Bellatrix: Nothing you idiot children. Now, sit down and eat your tofu turkey. Where is he...hmm.... oh, yes, there he is. DRACO!

Draco: What?

Bellatrix: Draco, you know how Death Eaters are not always that faithful...

Draco: Yeah...

Hermione: You bastard! (She slaps Draco.)

Draco: What was that for?

Hermione: You cheated on me!

Draco: No I didn't.

Hermione: Oh, okay.

Bellatrix: And you know how there are sometimes consequences from cheating?

Draco: Yeah...

Hermione: You have a kid that's not mine? (Slaps Draco.)

Draco: I didn't cheat on you woman! How can I have another child if I didn't cheat?

Hermione: Oh, okay then.

Bellatrix: Draco, you have a brother.

Hermione: YOU HAVE A BROTHER? (Slaps Draco.) AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME? (Slaps him again)

Draco: Will you stop slapping me?

Hermione: Okay.

Draco: Wait...I HAVE A BROTHER?

Bellatrix: Yes, he is eighteen, and his name is Adonis. Adonis? Come here dear.

And in walked the most handsome man I have ever seen. He looked even better than Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom combined. He was HOT and SEXY! I swear, half the girls in the hall fainted.

Bray: He's hot. No wonder he's named Adonis...wow.

Me: God, look at him. He is like, the picture of perfection!

Dan and Drew: Hey!

Mum: It's a shame he's much too young for me.

Me: Mum! You're married!

Mum: So, it doesn't mean I can't look!

Dad: Ginny, please.

Drew: MY UNCLE IS AS OLD AS ME! (Feints. Bray tries to give him mouth-to- mouth. He is revived.)

Dan: You have a point...

Ron: Well, since everyone is coming out of the closet, I have an announcement to make.

Grand mum: Yes dear?

Ron: Everyone, I am bisexual.

Mum: Oh my God.

Dad: RON!

Me: Life really does hate me.

Everyone else: (A stunned silence.)

Dumbledore: Well, does anyone else need to come out of the closet?

As soon as he said that, Jay and Sean fell out of the closet that is by the Head's table. They were snogging each other senseless, and Jay was missing a shoe.

What does this tell you about my life? WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? I MEAN, BY UNCLE IS BI FOR GOD'S SAKE! WHY IS IT THAT MY LIFE IS ALWAYS CRAP? WHY NOT SOMEBODY'S ELSE'S? WHY ME? WHY?

I have to go find a way to hide from my house.

Lily
End Notes: Well, there is Thanksgiving. I hoped you liked it.

REPLIES:

SiriusLives001: I totally agree with your penname...anyway, its Bill's daughter's daughter.

Superreader: You said you wanted more fights? Well, here's a sneak peak at the future chapters.... or at least 15, 16, and 17.... there are two bitch fights coming up.

Ginnyweasley418: You asked what Dan's problem was. I, myself, have no idea.

Prongs37: Thanky for reading the authors notes.

To the person who asked where Ron is, and I am sorry, but I couldn't find your review: Well, here's Ron!

MORE NOTES: SERIOUSLY READ THESE STORIES:

THE JOURNAL OF JAESSA STARSLY: A companion piece to this, wonderfully written and VERY realistic, if I do say so myself. My dear friend, whom the character Jay is based off of, wrote it.

(COMING SOON)

Bray's Diary: This is not posted, and I have NO idea when Sunshine is going to post it, but this is Bray's diary.

I STRONGLY—NO—I, AS THE AUTHOR AM DEMANDING THAT YOU READ OR LOOK OUT FOR THESE STORIES! I WILL OF COURSE HAVE THEM BOOK MARKED IN MY ACCOUNT.

ALSO:

THE UNOFFICAL "I HATE HILLARY DUFF CLUB" HAS BEEN FORMED. YOU ARE ALL WELCOMED TO JOIN! BY JUST REPLYING TO THE POST YOU BECOME A MEMBER! AND A BIG THANKY TO ALL WHO HAS JOINED, AND THEN BECOME MEMBERS OF THE SITE!

And please, review.

Thanky,

Red