((Bakura's POV))

Damn Ryou. Always thinks he can help me. Well he can't. I won't let him. Stupid idiot. With that stupid fake smile he always has on his face. It makes me sick! I know he just does it so he can look friendly. I don't like his friendliness.

He's probably sleeping now. I'm in the mood to punch him. So that's what I'm gonna do. I walk down stairs slamming my feet hard on the stairs and turned into Ryou's room.

I was right. He was asleep. He always sleeps so worried looking. Not that I care if he's worried or not. I come before him always. Even with that worried expression on his face, he still looks peaceful and happy. I forgot the last time I was ever happy. But I don't need to be happy! I'm good the way I am now.

I walked over to his bed. It looks like he felt my presence because he woke up the minute I was close to him. He sat up rubbing his eyes. Almost looked happy to see me. Stupid wretch. I torture you how could you even force a smile? Stupid ingrate.

"What's wrong Bakura?"

Those 3 words. How I despised those words and wished them to hell. I hated it when he asked me that. Makes me want to make him bleed more. As a matter of fact I've been going on him pretty easy lately. I haven't seen his blood in a good 2 weeks. Let's make it happen.

I pulled out my small trusty pocketknife and held it at his throat. I love to see him get scared and turn paler than what he already is.

"Stop Bakura please don't do it"

or

"I beg you Bakura"

He always says that when I'm about to beat him. I cut his arm leaving him a good cut to last him about 2 weeks and have people annoy him about what's wrong.

He started crying. I love it when he cries. It makes me feel victorious. I watched him cry and smiled big. My smile soon started fading when I saw how much blood he was letting out as well as tears. What's the matter with me? I would've left by now and I wouldn't care about this. A tiny microscopic part of me now actually feels a bit sorry for him. No! I can't feel sorry! I'm not turning soft!

I turned leaving Ryou on his bed crying and losing blood. Even up in my room I heard him crying. I couldn't escape it. I never used my knife on him…except once, but that was an accident. This time, this time I did it for fun. I liked it. I smirked closing my eyes and hearing Ryou's crying and moaning louder.

Why did I care! I don't care! I shouldn't even be thinking about him! Stupid Ryou! It's his entire fault! Thinks he can win me over by crying like a little baby. Win me over? Did I say, "Win me over?" Too much Ryou torment is getting to my brain. I should relax tomorrow is Saturday. How I longed for this day of the week where Ryou and I have such great fun running after each other. At least…I run after him. Good fun. Good fun.

I fell asleep with my shirt off comfortable in my boxers strangled in my own bed spread. I had the worst dream. I knew I was sweating from it. Why couldn't I stop thinking about Ryou? He doesn't mean anything to me and he's a hypocrite to me. He doesn't really like me just pretends too. I have nothing to hide because I'm straightforward with him and he can't do anything to me.

I sat up from my bed breathing heavily and drenched in my own sweat. Dammit. I can't fall asleep now. Do I…feel g-guilty? No, no! Of course not! Me guilty I'd eat a vegetable before that. Nasty little—

I got out from bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I looked scared. Why in the hell would I look scared! I went to cup my hands in water and saw my hands full of blood. Ryou. I growled and cleaned my hands quickly and harshly with soap.

When I was finished I became exhausted. Thank Ra. I was tired. I yawned loudly and saw my pocketknife opened on my boxer drawer drenched in blood. I turned on my lamp and looked at it for a while.

Ryou has really healthy blood. It's bright red and shiny. If he were dead…I'd eat him. Ooh cannibalism. Never knew I had that side. I stuck my knife in my mouth and started licking it pricking my tongue. Mmm. It tasted so deliciously sweet. I had the urge for more…but something just didn't want me too. Probably my tiredness.

I heard someone down stairs rummaging through the kitchen cabinets and drawers. I knew it was the stupid kid Ryou. Let's see what he's up to. I got up silently and walked to the kitchen peeking my head through a small crack in the door.

He was making something to eat. His arm is still bleeding! Damn…I—no I don't feel sorry! I'm not supposed to. The door opened and he ran right into me spilling whatever he was drinking and whatever he was going to eat right on me. I glared at him. My chest was all sticky and my new white boxers had bloodstains from his arm.

"I'm terribly sorry Bakura. I didn't see you there. Honestly." He said quickly. He sure seems sorry, but do I care? Not really!

"I'm all sticky! You bastard! I'm all sticky now what am I going to do!" I screamed at him slapping him across the face. Yes Ryou cry, cry till you die.

"I'm sorry. I'll help you clean up." He sniffed. Ryou you naïve fool. You're so easy to get it's not even the least bit amusing more of a pity really. He grabbed a wet paper to clean me and when he inched closer I grabbed his bloody arm brining him closer to me. I knew he was feeling hurt because he kept wincing. To keep it up, I squeezed at his arm making him cry more. I felt tears drop on my chest and I elbowed his head roughly. Oops didn't mean to do that. Oh well.

I felt him become light. Sort of dangling. Had he fainted? I tossed him on the ground leaving him there to cry even more than before. Sweet cries. Keep on Ryou. Keep on crying. Continue to be in pain. I love it so.

I was just about to leave when Ryou had the nerve to hit me! Of course I enjoyed it. I never feel pain, but just so he won't keep doing it I kicked his mouth to keep him from crying and tied his hand and leg together. It's so much fun teasing the innocent.

It was 3:30 already? Damn have I been torturing him for that long? Eh, whatever. It's not like it matters anyway. I heard grumbling and groaning and sniffing sounds downstairs and started chuckling. I hate it when he sniffs it annoys the hell out of me. I would go downstairs and beat him to stop sniffing, but I think he's suffered enough. I want to have the chase in him tomorrow. I wouldn't want to wear him out.

I went to sleep again having yet another bad dream. These fucking dreams. I won't go to sleep then. I stayed up watching that damn metal box Ryou watches when he's bored. Ra damn there was nothing entertaining on. Everything was about politics and ads and shit. No cartoons or so they call them.

I wouldn't even dare pick up a book and burn my eyes. Writing was out of the question since it's difficult for me and I can have Ryou—Ryou…I smirked and went downstairs.

I shook him awake and he crawled away from me.

"Ryou, I want you to write." I said to him. I threw a pencil and a notebook on the bed and he looked at me in confusion. What's not to get about that? Honestly.

"I want you to start writing about anything that pleases me and is up to my standards. I'm trying not to go to sleep because of personal reasons a naïve weakling wouldn't understand."

He looked at the paper and pencil. I knew he was tired. I saw it in his eyes. This is so sweet. He knows I'd hit him if he fell asleep so he has no other choice. I smirked when he started writing trying to fight his sleep.

I stopped him by squeezing his hand and grabbed the notebook. He hadn't written anything that made sense.

"Do you unto three four. I was two me. Sleeps tree."

"Ryou…what the FUCK is this!" I screamed at him. Ryou started trembling in fear. I softened my face. What is happening to me?

"Sorry." What! Did I just say sorry to him! I can't believe I said sorry to him! He looked at me in confusion and gave a small smile blushing. I growled to myself and grabbed Ryou's arm making him groan in pain.

"Make me laugh." I ordered him. I knew he was trying, although too tired he knew when he had to get something done. I like him for that. I mean…no I don't what the hell man! I must be so delirious now!

I got sick and tired of Ryou trying to make me laugh and I pushed him into the wall. He closed his eyes and trembled again. What was this weird feeling I kept getting? I wanted to…kiss him? What the hell?

I let him go dropping him to the floor and slammed his door and mine. I sat on my bed. Had I been changing? Ryou was doing something to me. I've never felt sorry for him. Not even a little bit before. I never even thought about him! Never even cared. Now, I'm…sort of…con-concerned for him. I've been thinking of stuff that might happen…between us. I never used to think about this. I've always hated him, but now, afraid to admit it, I've actually acquired some feelings for him.

I'll get over it. I know I will. It's happened couple times before and the end results were always...me hating him. I shouldn't worry about it or these fucking dreams either. They're always about him. Why the hell would I be thinking about him better yet dreaming about him? It's not like me. Do…I like him? No! No! Don't even think that! Don't even kid around like that!

I'm so tired. All this thinking has worn me out. I'm going to take a nap maybe I'll sleep peacefully now. I didn't. I actually slept through the whole dream and woke up to someone or something shaking me.

Great, it was Ryou. My face was drenched in sweat and I had a cold wet blanket on my head. Was this all his doing? Why was he being so nice? I'm such a bitch to him doesn't he see this? It's like he doesn't notice anything, but just me. He ignores my beatings and my screaming and he's always…concerned. Is he so retarded to know I could be the one who kills him in the future?

"Good. You're awake." He smiled at me. His smile…it actually looked relieved. Why is he here? I don't want him here!

"Get out." I ordered.

"But…I" I slapped his face and pointed out the door. He sighed sadly and did as he was told. It's not like he had any other choice.

I looked tired when I looked in the mirror. I almost didn't look like myself. I always had good sleeps. Never troubled dreams or concerns. Only about myself. I needed some fresh air that's what I needed.

When I walked downstairs, Ryou had a helmet on some kneepads and a heavy suit on hiding behind the couch. Retard I could see you and sense your fear. Why was he scared? I remember, Saturday. I was supposed to run after him today. I'll do it when I get home from my walk.

He lifted his head when he saw me grabbing my jacket.

"Where are you going?" Yea, right. Like I was going to tell him. I'd cut my—that's not important.

I walked out ignoring his question. It was windy just like I suspected. I walked around the block a couple of times. Couples passing me, holding hands. Makes me sick. I saw the idiot Marik playing in the park with his damn Yami. I tried to conceal myself, but he found out I was taking a stroll and irritably walked up to me with his happy grin.

"Hey Bakura. What is up dude?" He asked me. Idiot. I'd slap him if so many people weren't looking and his Yami wasn't looking at me like if I was some sort of serial killer.

"What the hell are you looking at? My pretty face?" I asked his damn Yami. He scowled at me. So, I scowled back.

Marik put an arm around his Yami and me. I immediately pushed it off and brushed my shoulder.

Marik's Yami walked away when Marik mumbled something to him. I'm guessing he told him he wanted to be alone with me. Why? Maybe so I can fuck him up.

"So…" I slouched. Why the fuck did this bitch wanna talk to me? I don't think he got the memo that I didn't like him.

"What?"

"I was talking to Ryou." Like I care if you were talking to Ryou you dumb fuck. I beat Ryou up and what?

"So?"

"I think I know something you don't know." You finally know your head was hollow and your brain was missing? Dip shit. He gave me a giggle. I played along with his game.

"What?"

"Ryou may— He giggled like a retard again and my urge to yank his head off his shoulders and squish it with my foot grew more and more.

Ryou may what? Be gay? I chuckled to myself.

"Ryou may l-o…--He stopped and ran away. What…the…hell! What does l-o mean! I need to know now!

He gave me something else to think about now. Damn Marik. Ryou may what? Why do I even care about this? I could care less if Ryou hated me. I hate him too. I sighed. Hate. That dark, strong word. Although it makes my power grow…I actually wished just one person who loved and cared about me. I'd like to know what it's like to feel a hug…or a kiss or anything like love.

I truly am turning soft! I still have power to torture though. That's good. Thank Ra for that. I walked home and saw Ryou resting on the couch. This stupid kid is always sleeping. Half the time of his life he spends it wasting away in his dream world sleeping.

I guess those are his only happy thoughts since I ruin his life in the real world. Not that I don't have a problem with that. I went up to him silently. I wonder what he's dreaming about. I looked him up and down and stopped at his bandaged arm. The blood was seeping through his shirt. Looks like he didn't do a good job wrapping it up. It's not like him to do things half ass.

Not like he did mine. He wrapped mine tight and well. He started opening his eyes and looked up at me. He looked scared again. Why was he scared of me? I don't want him to be scared. I-I mean I do want him to be! Makes me feel feared by all.

Ah, who am I kidding? No one, not even me. I want to feel good. I want to feel pleasure like I did when I beat Ryou, but without the beating. It's…it's getting old. Took me a real long while to admit this. Maybe beating Ryou isn't the way to express myself.

I want to start over with him. I don't know if he'll be able to accept me though. I doubt it. After a couple of years of beating, he wouldn't trust me even if they paid him too.

He was looking at me with sad eyes. He looked as though he wanted to know what was wrong…as usual. Why does he even bother? Doesn't he understand that I beat him? Looking at him gave me an urge to slit his arm. Why? I've never cut him before. Now it's like a habit.

"Bakura, are you ok?" I sighed. He asked the question like I predicted he would.

I scowled at him and he frowned. My mind told me cut him, cut him, cut him, but that black hole I called my heart told me not too.

He was looking at me strange and I sat down next to him. He seemed sort of shocked as did I. I got up quickly ignoring what I did and walked to my room.

When I laid down in my bed I immediately opened my boxer drawer and rummaged in there to find my pocketknife. I never paid attention to it. Why am I now? Is this like a sign? Ryou's blood was still dry on it. I guess I didn't lick it off well.

I heard a soft knock and told whomever it was to go away. It was Ryou. Obviously! He disobeyed me and came in with a box in his hand. I hid my knife under me and it kept pricking me. I knew this was dangerous, but I didn't want Ryou to see the knife. Who knows why?

Ryou pulled out a book with…pictures? Pictures of him and me. Mostly him. Ryou used to be happy it was almost funny. I'd never picture him being happy. He always looks so sad. Is this my doing? Nah couldn't be.

He smiled at me. Why did he always smile at me? I hated when he smiled. His smile always looked incomplete. That's why I hated it. I had my urge again. For some odd reason I…I didn't want to hurt him. I can't control myself though. With the knife reminding me, pricking me, it's hard.

"Get out." I ordered. He stopped smiling like he always did when I spoke.

"But why? I want to…b-be with you." Is this for real! Ryou…wanting to be with…me? He's sicker than I am! I remembered what Marik said.

"Ryou may l—o-"

Could this possibly mean the l-o means "love"? Ryou…love me? Impossible. I don't believe it. And even if it were true…would this change me? If it did, how so? I bet I wouldn't care as usual. Or would I? The knife buried in my back was killing me. I lifted my back and pulled it out as secretive as possible.

No use. He caught me.

"Bakura, what are you doing with this knife?" I bet he thought I was like some sort of self-mutilator. Yea…right wasting my life on such weakness. I had a burning pain on my back and decided to ignore Ryou's question and check out my back.

I only made Ryou more concerned. My bed was full of blood. He stopped me half way in the bathroom with his hand. He wasn't letting me pass.

"Tell me." He would urge on. I don't tell anyone anything! No one! It's my business not anyone's. He gave me his "sad" eyes. He started begging me. What is wrong with this kid? Why is he acting this way? He's like…giving himself to me.

I walked on and he stopped me yet again. I was going to scream at him when he placed his cold hand on my cut and rubbed it. I moaned in pain and also in pleasure. Just for the fact that wounds never hurt as much to me as they're supposed to.

Somehow he was able to place me on my bed with my back up, face down. He rubbed it gently and it felt…good. Something in his touch made it this way. I had the urge now to kiss him again. What is wrong with me! I never used to be this way. I hated Ryou! Ryou's a stupid dumb fucking dip shitty bitch! He doesn't know anything and never will and he is naïve.

He started to get a bit "frisky" with me and play with my hair. I don't tolerate that. I slapped his hands and rubbed my own back. I told him yet again to get out, but still he insisted on staying.

I grabbed my knife and saw him turn paler than what he already was. I slit his other arm for disobeying me and screamed at him. He started crying again. I guess for all his pain and stress, his other arm began to bleed as well. Had I really done that?

I feel sorry…I admit it I feel sorry for him. What got into me? He got up and left, frightened of me before I was able to help him out. I…was going to help him? Get real Bakura you never help anyone. But there was something about Ryou…I never noticed till now.

I don't really know how to explain it, but it's this feeling I'm getting. Ever since what Marik told me got me thinking. I picked up my knife from the floor and removed the fuzz. I looked at all the stains on my rug and softened my face. So much blood can be in just one person and so much blood can also be lost.

I got what I wanted. I'm not happy, but I got it. I'm always happy when I get something I want. I stuck my knife in my mouth to "clean" it. It was so good. I'd pass up anything for it. I put my knife away in a safe place and fingered the cut on my leg on which I removed the bandages from.

After a few hours, Ryou became silent. I…I was actually feeling worried. Something I've never felt. Something I thought wouldn't ever exist in my life. I went downstairs quietly and listened in Ryou's room. He was sniffing quietly and rustling around.

I opened the door without him noticing and I saw his room with bloody napkins thrown on the floor and used up bandages. I feel awful. I walked in completely turning him pale and inching closer behind a table.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I was being truthful too. Probably didn't believe me. I wouldn't believe me.

He came out from behind the table rubbing his bloody arm.

"Yes?" He said calmly, but with a tone of fear.

I sighed. I can't believe I'm saying something like this.

"I…I want to…h-help you. I want to help bandage your wounds that I gave you. I'm…sorry." I felt like a pile of extra soft cotton. Yami Bakura. Thief of 5,000 years ago saying sorry to a human. I mean…I'm human, but not a real one. So in reality I'm endangering myself by hurting Ryou and making him bleed so much. Because if he were to go…so would I.

His face lit up a little and he smiled nervously at me. I went to sit next to him to help clean his wound. Another half ass job like he did would surely infect his wound.

"Why…are you helping me?" Ryou had asked.

I'd like to know too! But I just realized it. Even though you might or might not care or love me I still do. I care about you Ryou and I love you and I don't want anything like this to happen to you ever again.

I found out my problem…

I'm in love with Ryou, I just contradict myself.

If you thinks it's over now get off that cloud more more more! Yet to come hehee.