DISCLAIMER: See previous entries.

You know what are really comfortable? H.I.V.E. Academy robes that you steal out of a laundry chute so you can sneak around delivering pizzas without anyone asking why your back is bulging like a bag of pizzas. I just tell them I'm a hunchback mutant and shuffle off with troubled breathing.

I was walking through one of the yellow corridors on the upper levels, glancing both ways every few seconds like an owl as I scanned the dormitory numbers. At least I think they're dormitories, on the lower levels there are group rooms but I think these higher parts are like little condos for the older students or possibly the teachers. This place is pretty self-contained for a private school. They even make their own food on the kitchen level, most public schools get their fresh meals from deep-freeze trucks. I guess they don't have take-out. I'm down here a few times nearly every weekend. Several hundred teenagers, some of them are capable of eating pizza and dialing a phone number. And I'm the only guy with the guts to go in here.

So, here I was looking for room 6729. Eventually I found such a door, and knocked on the hexagonal panel through the sleeve of my slightly baggy robe. My problem with stealing these robes is the ones tall enough for me are also very wide, and I'm no Governator.

…but the guy on the other side of the door when it slid open, could have been. If Arnold were made out of silver marbles. I'm serious. Standing a good foot over my head was a guy about four feet wide, crowding the small doorway and the bulging black tank top her wore. His biceps must have been the size of my waist. He was glaring down with a stony expression. The gimmick? He's made out of thousands and thousands of silver marbles stuck together in the form of a massive bodybuilding beast, with two red marbles stuck back in his chiseled silver face for eyes. He opened his mouth, clicking some marbles together.

"…who're you?"

I looked like the Grim Reaper during Pride Week in my little yellow robe. I reached up and lowered the hood, revealing my hat-clad but perfectly human head. I pulled two pizzas and a sauce box from the front fold of my robe.

"One sausage, one cheese with sausage on one side, assorted sauce tray?"

I didn't bat an eye when his gigantic head shifted its marble-foundation as his straight mouth lifted into a rather glowing smile. He spoke in the same growl, but in a finer tone.

"Yep'…"

He reached one tennis-racket sized hand behind himself and pulled out a tiny wallet. As he used his snake-sized pinkie to drag out a twenty, I placed the pizzas in his other tray-sized palm. I took the bill from between two silver fingers as he said to keep the change. I tipped my cap and raised my hood, turning go down the hall when he growled.

"…where you goin' now?"

I glanced at him from under the shadow of my hood before pulling a post-it note out from my dangling sleeve, checking the second uncrossed line.

"…6733. Why, they not home?"

He continued holding the pizza boxes in his palm as he swiveled his head back and forth on its clinking base, shaking his head.

"Saph'? She's always home. Just a warning…she's kinda' weird."

…coming from the result of a barrel of marbles and a metric ton of radioactive chewing gum, that has to be weird. I nodded my hood.

"Thanks for the tip. But I'm a tad weird myself."

I watched the marble-man noisily smile before clanking back into his room. Before the door slid closed I heard him grumble.

"And I thought I had balls…"

I just stared at his closed door for a second before shaking off the compliment/warning and walking down the hall toward my last stop of the night. Once again I knocked on the sliding hatch as I readied the single vegetarian pizza under my robe with my free arm. When the hydraulics slid the panels off to the side, I was closer to yelling out in surprise than when I saw Mr. Marbles down the hall.

The person leaning against the curved door frame with her shoulder tilted at me like a girl leaning against a light post. It wasn't her shape that irked me. She was five foot and a few inches, coming up to around my neck or chin in my robe. She was clad in a baggy shorts/shirt combo with the H.I.V.E. logo on them, and judging by the lack of bagginess she definitely was shaped like a human female. But enough about her bust-line, did I mention she was made out of what looked like glass?

I'm serious. Normal-looking cheerleader type, hair down to her shoulders, cheeks pinched in a toothy smile, was an older girl made whose skin was a very pale blue. In fact as she stood in the doorway before me I could see right through her face at the living area behind her, her right arm was orange because it was leaning against the yellow wall.

Completely clear, except for her clothes. Her hair was whatever color her wallpaper was. Her eyes? Just little circles carved into the clear orbs set high on heart-shaped face. As she saw me standing there holding a pizza, I saw her cheeks loosen without a hint of being made out of glass. It was like she was made out of solid water, perfectly natural movement. She leaned forward, her hair falling like a little waterfall over her shoulder as she looked at the pizza. I managed to wet my tongue somewhat and stated.

"…vegetarian deluxe…?"

She nodded, glancing her fine-carved eyes back upwards at my hooded face. She nodded, confirming it was hers before asking in a perfect casual manner, in a rather flowing voice.

"…mind if I…?"

Suddenly my hood was pulled back onto my neck, and her arm was stretched up and around my shoulder with her hand on my hood. She had stepped forward to do so, but she did it so fast I wondered if she could stretch herself like some…super-people.

So, now I was covered in a flowing robe except for my head, which just sat there atop my neck and under my pulled-low cap, hiding everything except for my cheekbones and lower face. She pulled her crystalline arm back, sliding the pizza out from my hands as she effortlessly reached up and pulled my hat bill up away from my eyes, leaving me in an even deeper state of shock.

"…you have nice eyes…"

…thanks, girl whose TV I can see through her forehead…hey, Fresh Prince is on…

I reached up and yanked my hat back down over my face as she just giggled in a twinkling manner, slipping a ten dollar bill into my hand. As the door slid closed, she stood there with her box and waved four glass fingers at me.

"Name's Sapphire, ask around for me you ever get bored…"

I think she went to blow a kiss before the door shut. Needless to say, the moment it did close I pulled my hood back over my hat and speed-walked straight to the elevator, telling myself I don't get paid enough to fight off this kind of women. Shameless, loose-minded, and probably capable of shooting lasers out of places I never look at. Pizza boys account for twenty percent of illegitimate children from bad marriages. Lady hates her husband and has five kids? One of them isn't going to look like him. And the little guy probably won't be that smart.

I relaxed somewhat as the elevator door shut, allowing me to cut the silent cult member act. Judging by the wires hanging from the vent, some annoyed student already busted the cameras and microphone. I pulled my hood back down to my neck and examined my reflection in the wall's bronzed finish. I tilted my hat brim up, looking at my eyes for the first time in months. A striking shade of dark yet vivid green, like a knock-off emerald ring in an infomercial. Girls always said how much they loved them. Well, a few bad relationships later and I started wearing a hat over them.

Speaking of which, right as I once again covered my eyes with my hat I heard a mechanical groan, followed by the vibrations beneath my feet stopping. I glanced at the floor marker near the ceiling, the elevator was between floors. I cursed under my breath, pulling up the sleeves of my robe and looking around for an emergency hatch. I couldn't use the red phone, I wasn't supposed to be here in the first place. I'd probably get arrested and then charged with the fireman's bill.

Well, Fate seems to use me as a stop watch. Right as I looked up and saw the vent opening, it caved in as some one came barreling through it in a rolling flip. I covered my eyes instinctively, letting my hands drop when I hard the sound of two padded feet touching down. When my hand slid away I found myself looking down at a rather petite-sized girl clad in a pink and blacked barber-striped gymnastics outfit. Her hair was tied into two strapped pigtails framing her head like two ram horns, framing a milk-white face that was twisted into a look of pure hatred, complete with twitching left eye. Her tiny fists clenched as I instinctively stepped back, faking a grin out of panic and rubbing my neck through my hood.

"…Jamie! Fancy meeting you here…?"

Her light pink eye kept twitching, she spoke through clenched teeth.

"Dave…I heard in the gymnasium that some one's pizza got here really fast. Knew you couldn't have gone far, it's Friday. It's been four years, figured we'd catch up for lost time…"

I covered my ears a second before the scream ripped through the disabled elevator.

"Why didn't you pick up a phone and call me!"

I winced, rubbing my neck harder as she stopped screaming. She panted like an angry hound as I answered.

"…Jamie, I got shipped off to…"

She cut me off with a sharp retort.

"Jinx!"

I stared.

"Um…I didn't hear you say any…"

She rolled her eyes, her pink glare intensifying when they rolled back on me.

"I meant…my name, is Jinx. Jamie, was that poor girl you were going out with when you got sent to Arkham…and didn't call when you got out!"

I regained some high ground, quickly belting out.

"…you told me you were seventeen!"

She belted right back.

"…I was tall for age, and skipped a few grades, ok!"

I felt my chin tighten.

"I turned eighteen while I was in there, and you didn't tell me the truth until you sent me a birthday card! You were thirteen! How did you end up in high school!"

She got defensive, her black and pink hair swinging slightly as she whipped her neck straight up.

"…and I had what it took to date a senior! And then you went and…"

I scoffed, crossing my arms over my bunched-up cloak.

"You just remembered to tell me you were underage? It wasn't even a good thing we had, and you then it turned out you were jailbait?"

"I am NOT jailbait!"

I didn't notice the stripped bolts falling out of the ceiling of the elevator as we argued. I also saw a few buttons pop out of their grooves, her powers always went haywire during these encounters.

"You nearly get me thrown in jail, and you expect me to keep in touch? And now you're working for some rich cult? You're insane!"

She shot back.

"At least I'm getting my diploma!"

I felt my fists clench at that dreaded word. As I saw a vein pop out of her pale forehead I saw a section of the elevator floor drop out next to me, our argument was causing the elevator to fall apart. I glanced toward the side of my right foot, seeing an endless black shaft under my right arm. I could see a shaft of light coming from the doorway to the floor right under us, she must have stalled the thing right as I was about to get out. She started screaming about my dropping out of high school until I just looked up at my ex-girlfriend and said without a hint of fear.

"…as much as I loved seeing you again, I have a life outside this freak-house. And the hair looks ridiculous."

She gasped at my disrespect for her home/school as I saluted her with a single middle finger and jumped right down the hole in the floor down the shaft, my robe flaring out around my legs and catching on a protruding piece of metal on the edge of the hole. I slipped right out from under the fabric's hem as gravity took its course. I kept my grip on the sleeve end as my stolen cloak was stretched tight in a makeshift rope against the snag. I used it to quickly swing underneath the disabled lift and flung through the half-open doorway in the wall leading to a well-lit hallway.

As I landed on the expensive yellow tile with both feet, shrugging my bag around my shoulder and starting to walk away casually, I heard a scream come from the open shaft entrance behind me. She must have thought I actually fell, what a drama queen. I ducked into a fire escape hidden among the numbered doors to classrooms as I hoped no one checked the cameras and saw some guy without a robe on running down the steps with a pizza bag on his back.

Ten minutes of stair-jumping later and I ran out of the lobby of the private school tower into the high-class street bustling with cabs and nice cars. I ran down to the corner and slumped against a lamppost, breathing in the suddenly fresh cool air and thanking who ever runs his planet for saving me from my old girlfriend. Eventually I just smirked to myself out of nowhere, pulling my hat back down over my eyes and started walking down the marble sidewalk towards the cheaper part of town. Hey, just another day in the life of Dave Setanta.

Twenty Minutes Later

I dumped the contents of my pocket onto the counter, counting out several large coins, controlled debit-access cards, coupons, a multi-colored diamond the size of my fist, and some breath mints. Yep, all tips accounted for. My boss was wiping the counter so I swept my winning back into my hand and dumped them back into my knee-cut cutoffs. I heard him chirp.

"…hear some windows fell off that one school, the bolts snap. You run into that girl from school? One you leave in Gotham?"

I sighed, pulling my hat down to my nose and looking down at my scuffed shoes.

"…why is it every girl I break up with ends up with superpowers?"

He chuckled, wiping the sponge against the ancient but sterile countertop.

"Every one? Not a way…"

I shrugged.

"I'm serious, Boss. I'm not sure if that one counts because she was possessed by something from space, but it seems all my exs' ended up with powers after we split. Heck, Jamie started her whole bad luck phase right after I got taken off to Arkham. Found out a year later something triggered her powers after I left Gotham, I think she was just that mad at me."

My boss just shook his head, starting to whistle a tune as he started drying the counter.

"'Least they not kill you, right?"

"…they try practically every time they recognize me…I was a bit of a heartbreaker before I dropped out. That and I have a nervous tic where my eyes randomly focus on women in low-ride jeans, it's a neurological problem."

He just chuckled and kept cleaning the counter. Been working here for years, he's used to me by now. And then the phone rang. Come on, you know who called.

Twenty Two Minutes Later

It was dark out. The stars and pale moon were reflected on the calm lake surface as I stood outside the practically glowing tower on the darkened island. I admired the yellow city skyline before looking at a note from Chico in my hand. I managed to decipher the scrawls before I tapped the intercom button. I heard the cyborg answer, laughing before asking.

"…Yo-Yo?"

I cleared my throat.

"Um…I'm here to see 'Robin', I think…"

Silence.

"…HAHAHA!"

I just stared at the red light next to the speaker, glancing around at the crickets outside the tower as I heard he chorus of three or four teenagers loudly laughing practically right into the intercom. Eventually, I heard the speaker sigh and state.

"…it's your lucky day, my man! We got four Robins up here!HAHAA!"

Not…going to ask…I stared blankly at the little box as the laughing orchestra went on again for, according to my digital watch, about six and a half minutes.

I uttered as it began to die down.

"…this is the pizza guy…you ain't getting these pizzas 'till this Robin guy pays up, according to your registration papers from city hall he handles all the financial manners. He's supposed to, at least"

Note to self, thank Chico for the registration papers. Silence. This time not followed by another outburst, just awkward silence. Eventually a higher-pitched voice spoke.

"Um…he's…uh, in China looking for some martial arts master to train him?"

I raised an eyebrow and leaned closer to the speaker.

"Oh, like I haven't heard that one before…seriously, some fraternity tried that."

The deeper voice kicked in again.

"…we're serious! He left yesterday! Dude, I wanna' pay ya' but Bird-Boy's the only one who handles money! He doesn't even let us have credit cards"

I heard him out, asking afterwards.

"…well, while he's gone could you get me some collateral or something? Like something he'll want back so coughs up my tip? A Walkman, game girl, whatever the Hell you teenagers are into."

I'm twenty two. And I have a feeling these aren't drinking-age superheroes.

After a few seconds.

"…Dude…we got just the thing…"

Forty Minutes Later

For the first time in three years, my boss actually looked twice when I came back from a run. Why? Because I was dressed completely the way I'd came in, except I was carrying a small backpack and wearing a tiny, rather useless eye mask on my face. It was just a thin black frame with white lenses, despite its failue o hide my identity my boss did a double take and simply asked.

"…you put that on purpose?"

I nodded, dumping the red backpack on the counter and pulling out a two-colored jumpsuit and dumping it on the counter like a dirty shirt.

"Hey Boss, got ya' a pair of green tights, hear you're collecting them."

He dropped his dough and waddled over, picking up the fabric of the costume and staring at the stylized 'R' patch on the chest.

"…this yours?"

I reached up and once again tried to take off the mask, it was still sticking strong.

"It's mine until the tip-hog pays up. But I have a feeling the punk has more than one. This thing was folded like a flag when his friends tossed it down the chute, probably has his name on his underwear still."

My boss snorted and mumbled to himself as he went into the pack and pulled out a black and yellow cape, feeling it between his fingers. I on the other hand pulled out the object I'd examined on the walk over here, slipping into the back room and yanking off that damn mask rather painfully before sitting down on a cupboard.

Draped over my upraised hands was what looked like a chain of large, circular belt sections with various snaps and catches on each one. I was originally going to mark it off as a bad fashion statement until I felt how heavy it was. I stared at the yellow plating, wondering how the thing worked before accidentally pressing a hidden button with the heel of my palm, yelping and nearly dropping the thing before realizing it hadn't exploded in my hands.

One of the yellow discs had sprung open in half, revealing a tiny compartment dug into one of the split halves. I squinted in the dim lighting to see several little square, flat objects stacked inside the recess, counting off about six tiny flat objects tucked into the hiding place. I carefully used my nail to pull the bottom one out, watching the others slide down on a spring to replace it for easy access. I held up the odd little gizmo closer to the light.

…it just looked like a little folding pocket knife painted red, black and yellow in a random pattern. I held the flat end and flicked it with my wrist, seeing if it had any moving parts. I just raised an eyebrow when the little thing sprang to life and in a millisecond unfolded with a metallic ring into what looked like a throwing weapon of sorts, ending with two bladed prongs unfolding into a wing-shape and glinting in the dim light. I twisted it slowly between two fingers, seeing it was indeed a boomerang of sorts.

At this point, I was unaware of my boss standing in the doorway watching me. I jumped slightly at his sudden remark.

"…and you make fun of my collection…"

He laughed at his own joke while I glared, setting the odd device next to the belt section that held several folded ones.

"…I was just making sure it wasn't a bomb or anything."

He laughed again before closing the door and attending to a customer, but not before belting.

"Oh, don't you like to share your toys with class?"

And he shut the door. I just shook my head at his antics and stared at the bird-like throwing blade. Out if nowhere I suddenly had a mental image of something stored in the floor safe out front, wrapped in a cloth. Followed by my inner voice rasping the word 'Bat'...

Author's Note

...yeah, Dave doesn't have a good dating record. And if you can't figure out which episode this takes place in, you probably aren't a nerd.