The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter
Chapter Nineteen: The Soundtrack to Breakups

Authors Note: I've got nothing to say.

Disclaimer: Okay, here is the deal. I have NO money. So, if I say, I don't own Harry Potter, please believe me. And plot ideas are free, so I own that!!! Don't try to steal the plot, because I will sue a dollar for every review if you try to steal it. Not really, I'm scared of the legal system.

Dedication: To my future beta, whoever that might be.

I don't give a shit about the time

Why do you care?

He broke up with me. HE BROKE UP WITH ME! God, I hate my life. I got the note, and ran out of the wing. Madam what's-her-name started yelling, but I didn't listen. I just ran, clutching the letter, tears pouring out of my eyes. It was in the middle of class, but I didn't go. I just ran up to my room, and sobbed into my pillows. I feel like shit, and I don't want to get up.

I CARED SO MUCH ABOUT THAT BASTARD, AND THEN HE DOES THIS TO ME! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM!

Okay, I don't hate him, I am hopelessly in love with him, and he hates me, and doesn't want me, and I can't live my life anymore. I mean, what's the point? Nearly everyone hates me! I mean, the man I have spent my life pining after has all but killed me, and I spend my time talking to a book. What kind of life am I living? So, from this day on, I am not writing in this.

Goodbye,

Lily

December 11th, 6:54 PM

The Great Hall

I have stayed in my room for a whole week, before Jay and Bray stormed up, and demanded to know what was wrong. So I showed them the note. And the first thing Bray said was, "Well, he's a bastard." And then Jay said,

"I thought he was nice?"

I swear, I have the most amazing friends, but they can be a bit...dense at times. Really, they can.

"Yeah...but now...oh, I don't know!" I cried.

"Well, maybe he was a bad choice. You know, there are other guys out there." Jay said.

"Yeah, and who knows, you just might find you're Drew..." Bray intoned.

"Can you like, not talk about your perfect romances right now? It just makes me feel like worse shit." I said.

Okay, there just getting plain hard to write like this, so I'll write like I do most dialogs.

Bray: Okay.

Jay: So, he just gave you—this, and it was over?

Me: Yeah, he did, and that was that.

Jay: What an ass hole.

Me: Yeah.

Bray: Then...if he was an ass hole, then, why are you really upset about this?

Me: Because I loved the damn man! And then, he just does this! How would you feel?

Jay: Good point. And you have been spending WAY too much time in here. Lil, you have earned yourself a whole week of detention, and you were supposed to be going shopping today.

Me: Yeah...

Bray: So, get dressed, you are going to Hogsmead. And we are getting trashed.

Jay: No we aren't!

Bray: Yes, we are.

Jay: No.

Bray: Yes.

Jay: No.

Bray: Yes.

Me: Okay! I'll go, and I can get trashed, but you two can't, happy?

Jay and Bray: Fine.

Me: Okay. Fine, maybe getting trashed will make me feel better...

So I got dressed, in black mind you, as I am mourning my dead relationship, and we headed off to Hogsmead, so I could get measured for new bras. Well, I am no longer a C. I am size 40D. I, apparently, have no concept of how to wear a bra, and there for have been wearing bras that are much too small for AGES. Well, that's news to me. Anyway, then we went to the Hogs Head, and got me trashed...and then, I don't remember much after that. But it still didn't help the fact that I am insanely depressed. In fact, at today's peer counseling, I broke down, and told this poor sixth year my guy troubles. And you know what she said? She said I don't know how to have a relationship, because if all we did was make out, then we didn't do anything to further the relationship. In fact, I don't think we went on a date. I spent so much time writing, and I didn't spend enough time with Dan. Maybe that's what she meant. Maybe that's my problem. But that only made me feel worse, because here I am, writing.

I have such a crap life.

Lily

Later

My dorms

My life really is crap. I suppose, that when I got myself pissed, that I went up to some bloke, and started snogging him. The man: Adonis Lestrange-Malfoy. Yes, I snogged my ex's uncle. Can someone say, "EWW?"

Okay, so I just got this letter from Adonis, asking me if I wanted to hook up with him in a few days. He has time off from work, and I can sneak out that night. So, me being I, and not thinking about what I do, said sure, I'll meet you at this new club that just opened outside Hogsmead. So, in three days time, I am going on a date with my ex's uncle.

That sounds insane, and yes, I think I am insane. Mum found out about the breakup somehow, and she sent me a bunch of CD's, and a note. This is what it said:

Dearest Lily,

I heard about what happened between you and Dan. And all I can say is, I have been there. I know what it is like to have your heart torn out, and stomped on by some heartless man. And he probably said he broke up with you because you are horrible in bed, or something as stupid. In any case, I have sent you a care package. It's called the Soundtrack to Breakups, and this is what Luna gave me when your father broke up with me in my sixth year. Listen to it, and use it well.

G.M.W.P.

Okay, since when did mum use her initials to sign off letters? I dunno...but in any case, I have a hell load of problems on my hands. And, just because I am obsessed with making lists, because they are fun to write, I am putting all of the things that have happened to make my life horrible in a list. It sounds so...mature of me, doesn't it?

Yet Another List of Everything That is wrong in My Life
Once Again, a List by Lily Potter

1.I have a date with my ex's uncle My ex has an uncle who is only a year older than him, and is barely his uncle, but still.

2.Dan Malfoy broke up with me. He did that because, "We both don't know what we want in life." That is so stupid.

3.My uncle came out of the closet on Thanksgiving, and my family is still the laughing stock of the school.

4.I have just thought about having the folks at Queer Eye for the Straight Eye come and makeover my uncle. The bi one.

5.I have a month's detention because my ex broke up with me. Well, maybe now I should go and date Fabio.

6.I have no idea WHERE the Fabio idea came from, as he is like, eighty or something like that.

7.Libby, the annoying pest, just walked in, saying that she was terribly sorry, but the Hufflepuff bathrooms are all clogged up, and my room is the only open one.

8.Oh, and she just told me that Fabio is only forty, and she has plans to marry him.

9.My arch-nemesis wants to marry Fabio, and has alerted me of this fact. What, does she think that I am going to try to take Fabio from her?

10.My peer mentor has informed me that I did nothing to nurture the relationship between Dan and me, therefore leading him to believe that I do not know what I want in my life, and then dump me.

11.My best friends got me pissed drunk last night. At least they were nice enough to give me a hangover potion, though.

12.Because my best friends got me plastered, I made out with my ex's uncle, thus forth resulting in my date with him in three days.

13.My mum—if you read in between the lines—suggest that the reason Dan broke up with me was because I was bad in bed. Hello! I AM STILL A BLOODY VIRGIN!!!

14.If you read in between the lines of her letter, again, you would have picked up that my dad dumped my mum at first, because she "was bad in bed."

15.Finally, Dumbledore had left, leaving Snape and McGonagall in charge. The good thing about this: All holiday homework has been canceled, due to the fact that they still haven't found a new Transfig. Teacher yet.

Lily

December 12th, 11:51AM

Potions Class

Don't ask me how I was able to write in potions class, lets just say that Jay and Bray weren't too happy about that last freak potions exam. Anyway, I have two days until my date, and I don't want to go. I mean, my boyfriend has just broken up with me, and I am still really upset about that. At two this morning, I woke up in tears, because I had a dream that I was going to marry Fabio—don't ask—and when Fabio was supposed to kiss me, Dan ran in, yelled that he loved me, and then killed all of Fabio's fanatical fan girls. And the thing is, that's what Dan would do, and then, I broke down into tears.

I popped in "The Soundtrack to Breakups," once I felt slightly better, and then I started crying all over again when I heard the first song on it, which was "Carousel," by Blink 182, and that was the song that Dan wrote in his note. And I couldn't stop crying. It was like, uncontainable water works. So I went to Jay and Bray's dorm, and found Bray up, freaked out about something. She wouldn't tell me, but then asked me why I was crying. And then I started crying again. By this time, Jay was up, and sat me down, and started hugging me. And then I told them about my date.

Bray didn't say anything, really, and Jay started yelling, and told me how I was NOT to go out on that date, because A) Look at the life Adonis has lead, B) I have just been dumped by my boyfriend, and C) The only reason he wants to go out with me is because I made out with him while drunk.

So I told them, that, yes, I would cancel my date with Adonis, and try to forget Dan. But forgetting Dan IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. I mean, just because we don't have enough chemistry to nurture a relationship between us doesn't mean I will forget about him. I will NEVER stop loving Daniel Anguis Malfoy, and I need to find a way to break my date with his uncle by tomorrow.

End Clarification: I know I said that I wouldn't be able to post for a while...I just put this up because I have nothing to do right now, and people have been wanting an explanation for everything...which I don't have.

AND: My normal updating schedule is every two days or so. What I mean by not being able to update when I normally do, like, there might be a week in between updates. I also like to be three chapters ahead of the chapter posted, and I haven't even thought about 22, so, it might be a while.

ALSO: If you all haven't; I recommend checking out the Harry/Ginny Network. I have posted one of my stories on the site, Sink Into Your Eyes, and I love the network. There is also a Harry/Ginny Fic A Fest, which is AWSOME!!! I love it. So, there was some advertising for you.