The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter

Chapter Twenty-One: What The Hell?

Authoress Thing: If you ever have to read October Sky and then write about it, DO NOT focus on the Father/Son relationship like I did. Do the rockets. Not the people. Because it will put you in the low that I am in. Because it was so sad, and I went in too deep with it, and now I'm sad. Anyway, the story. School starts in...three days, so this might be the only chapter for a few weeks. Let me get my feet on the ground before I post anything, please.

Disclaimer: This is an IM conversation with my best friend's boyfriend: (said friend was not available at the moment. He was the next best thing.)

Me "Randy, do I own Harry Potter and his posse?"

Me "(Just say no)"

Randy "No."

Me "Okay. Do I own any mentioned bands, songs, or any part of American Culture?"

Me "(Once again, say no)"

Randy "No."

Me "Thank You. One last question. Do I own all OC characters?"

Me "(Say yes)"

Randy "Yes."

Dedication: To all the teachers who come to Mum's "The Eighth Grade Has Graduated, Let's Drink Alcohol Even Though We Have To Go To Work Tomorrow Party." I am sure you are all wonderful people who would not take me in if I pierced my lip or got the tattoo I want...

December 18th

The Common Room, by myself

Because everyone was going home for Christmas, they canceled classes for the rest of the week, and sent everyone home. Except for myself. I went to see the Headmistress about staying here, and she started laughing in my face. I guess the only people staying here are the muggle studies teacher and I. So I get to spend my mourning time with a professor. She is staying in the Gryffindor dorms, and has taken residence in the boy's dorms—the first year dorms; I suppose they are the cleanest ones. Anyway...

Right now, my brothers and best friends are getting off the train, and meeting their parents for a happy holiday. Except, I won't be there to brood and make their holidays horrible. They can enjoy their holidays. Because I know I won't. My brothers don't even know that I didn't get on the train. I just sat in a corner, listing to sad music while everyone left. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

It's raining out. It's really odd, too, because it's supposed to be snowing. But instead, it's raining. Oh well, at least everything will be iced over tomorrow, and nobody will be able to come here. The owls won't want to travel in this weather, and The Floo Network gets shut down three days before Christmas, and reopens three days afterwards. And, you can't apperate to Hogwarts. So nobody can bug me.

Bug-less-ly,

Lily

Later

Same Place

HOLY MERLINS IMMITATION JOW BOXER BRAND BOXERS!!!!!! ALL THE MAGIC IS GONE!!!! NOTHING WORKS!!!!!! I'M STUCK LIVING LIKE A MUGGLE!!!! AND THE MUGGLE STUDIES TEACHER DOESN'T UNDERSTAND MUGGLES!!!!!

Later

McHenry came down, sighed, and then turned the fireplace into a TV. She is watching Buffy right now, and it's the musical episode, and Buffy is singing about killing vampires. It's kind of scary, actually, listening to someone sing about killing vampires. But anyway...McHenry said that because everyone has left Hogwarts, the magic that holds this place together is gone. So really, anyone, including muggles, could walk right on up here...if they wanted to brave the weather. I have just been sitting around, listening to music, while McHenry watches TV. It's really boring, but it's better than going home. I dunno...I think I am going to go watch Buffy.

Lily

December 19th, 4:56 AM

Watching TV

Have you ever noticed how much the men of the Malfoy family look like Spike? It's terrifying. I mean, they could all be vampires! Anyway, an owl came through today. And it had a howler from Mum and the whole thing was about coming home, because sulking is not going to get me anywhere. I sent her a note back telling her all about my woes. No, not really, I just sent her a note to bugger off and have a nice holiday. Although, McHenry hasn't been having a wonderful holiday. She got a note from her boyfriend in America telling her that he found someone new, so she can go find some other pimp, what ever that means. Anyway, she has been weeping ever since, and it's quite annoying. That's why I am up at such an hour. I couldn't sleep through all the moaning.

Anyway, it stopped raining, and had started snowing. So, now Hogwarts should be very hard to get to, and hopefully nobody will try to some here for all of holidays. McGonagall checked in on us like, three hours ago, and said that all the magic should be back by the time term begins. Well, that's hopeful. We only have one house elf here, and she's currently hiding in a corner, crying because her favorite blanket got ripped on a loose nail on a chair. Oh well, at least we have a house elf. Mum always gives the house elves the holes off, as she always cooks our meals. Well, now she has to cook for one last person.

-Sigh- it's DEAD boring here. There is nothing to do! Honestly, all I am doing is watching Buffy re-runs, and listening to a teacher cry over her love life. Well, at least I have something in common with a teacher. Maybe we could talk about the stupidity of boys together.

Wait...

I DID NOT JUST WRITE THAT! WHY WOULD I WANT TO BOND WITH A TEACHER??? GOD, WHAT AM I, HEAD GIRL???

And honestly, the head girl has seen boding with teachers. Her and Sprout have had some lively conversations about plants, I hear. But plants are deadly boring, aren't they? I mean I wouldn't want to carry on a conversation about plants.

Lily

Later

I talked to a portrait of some chick that cried all the time. She had a very interesting life. I guess she saw my parents doing it on the couch I am sitting on.

Hold on...

My parents had sex on this couch. My parents—EWW!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!! THAT IS SOOOOOOO DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SOOOO DIRTY!!!!!!!!!

I have just finished jumping up and down, and screaming. I am NEVER sitting on that couch—ever. I even made a little sign for it, so nobody will sit on it. So, hovering above the couch is a sign that says this:

WARNING!

Harry James and Ginerva Molly Weasley Potter have used this couch for intimate purposes before!

It is suggested that you avoid this couch at all costs!

Thanky,

The One Person Who Cares About Decency In This World

So there it is, right above the couch. Maybe people will learn something about decency by knowing what they have sat on has been used for.

McHenry just saw the sign and said that EVERYONE except prudes has used that couch for sex. MY TEACHER JUST CALLED ME A PRUDE!!!!!!!!! SOMETHING IS WRONG IN THIS WORLD!!!!!!

And she just read that, and said, "You're STILL a virgin? God, no WONDER half the staff calls you Gothic."

I am in shock. My very own TEACHERS call me Gothic? What the hell is wrong with the world? I mean, has everyone under the age of sixteen had sex already besides me????

She just told me that, yes, yes they have.

I need to get a life.

Lily

P.S. She just said that I do need to get a life.

My teacher told me to get a life.

How wrong does that sound? I mean, a professor telling me to get a life! That's like Dumbledore setting me up with Ricky Martin.

She just told me that he has brought that up at a staff meeting a few times.

WHAT THE HELL?

Real Notes: Yes, some teacher's are like that. Trust me, I know. Only, his or her staff meetings usually involve someone going home pissed.

PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I ONLY NEED 5 TO REACH 200!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanky, Red