Beautiful Disaster
By Somebody's Angel
"What are you doing here?" Seth asked in amazement, staring at the form that had, until a few seconds ago, been lost to him forever.
"What do you think Cohen?" She returned, smiling widely.
Seth thought she had never looked more beautiful than she did at that moment; hair handing around her face in wet ropes, eyes bright, rain dripping of her face, lips curved into a smile; the widest, most sincere smile he'd seen on her since he had returned from Portland.
She reached her hands up, past his nose, and then he felt her touch at his neck. She pulled his mask down just enough to reveal his mouth, and he took a deep breath of fresh air – despite being waterproof, the Spiderman mask didn't really offer the best ventilation, and Seth's breathing while wearing it had been somewhat labored. And then all his thoughts came to a screeching halt as she placed a hand either side of his face and kissed him.
It felt right. Summer didn't care that it was sooo clichéd, or that she was breaking the promise she had made to herself about never taking him back, she only cared how it felt. Their lips fit together so perfectly, even upside down, and his were much softer than she remembered. She tilted her head and opened her mouth slightly, inviting him in. He didn't oblige, so she deepened the kiss herself, sliding her tongue along his. She moved her hands to the back of his head and pulled him closer, trying to imprint the feel and the taste of him into her mind – she cursed herself for ever forgetting how good it was.
Finally she pulled away slightly, just enough to breathe, and felt his breath mingling with her own. She leaned in to kiss him again, but his face dropped and suddenly she was looking at his blue jacket, colored navy by the rain. She looked down to find that Seth was enjoying his new view immensely.
"Cohen!" She chided, and he sheepishly looked back at her face.
She grabbed his head again, a millisecond before his body slipped down even further. Summer looked up from Seth's eyes and burst out laughing. Only Cohen. He – who had been wearing his pants big and low long before it was fashionable to show one's boxers in public – had tied the rope around his waist, attaching it to the belt loops. Their kiss had caused him to move, and his pants were now around his knees.
Seth attempted to see what was so funny, but ab strength had never been his strong point, and he was unable to lift himself far enough to see his legs. His flailing did, however, cause his pants to slip down further, until they became caught on his shoes.
By this time Summer was almost doubled over in amusement; the sight of Seth, hands on the floor, pants around his ankles, hanging upside down from the roof was too funny.
"A little help please, Summer?" The tone of Seth's voice was almost as pathetic as the look on his face, and his distress helped Summer sober up enough to untie his shoes and free him from his position. He clung to her legs with one arm as she did so, and succeeded in preventing himself from hitting his head on the tiles.
While Seth was getting adjusted to his new right-side-up position, Summer unknotted the rope from his pants, then gave both them and his Converse back to him. During the time that it took Seth to reoutfit himself, Summer amused herself by looking around the yard. She saw something unfamiliar in the poolhouse, and squinted to make out what it was.
"Cohen?"
"Yeah?" Seth finished tying his laces and jumped to his feet, almost falling back over again because of the slickness of the tiles.
"Why is there a boat in the poolhouse?" She turned to face him, a questioning look in her eyes and a finger pointing to the subject of her question.
"It was gonna be my last shot." Seth saw no reason to lie to her, especially since he knew from experience that a) she would see right through the lie and b) she got mad when he tried to lie to her. Summer still looked confused, so he elaborated. "One big romantic gesture to try and win you back."
"Why would a boat called 'Gimme Sex' win me back?"
"The last owner changed the name. It's the 'Summer Breeze'," was Seth's simple reply, and it rendered Summer completely speechless.
"I…You…" Summer gave up trying to form coherent sentences, choosing to physically express her feelings instead. She walked the three steps to Seth and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. She threaded her fingers through his curls as his arms went around her, and at that moment she knew she'd made the right decision. Not that it had ever really been a choice between Zach and Seth; it was more of a choice to finally forgive Seth for leaving.
Summer pulled away, smiling against his lips. "You taste like rain."
"That's coz it's pouring and we're standing in the middle of it." Seth replied matter-of-factly, holding her close.
"What were you doing up there anyway?"
"Satellite's out. I was trying to fix the one thing I knew I could fix."
Summer's face softened, and she stared into Seth's eyes, seeing the emotions that were always there when he was looking at her – except this time, for the first time in a long time, the same emotions were reflected in her own chocolate orbs. "So did you fix it?" Her words were barely audible, but Seth could hear the double meaning.
"I don't know." His words were as soft as hers, and she knew what he was asking.
"Why don't we go find out?" Summer replied, pulling him toward the door she had left open.
Seth grinned and allowed her to pull him up to his room.
Summer wandered around, inspecting the changes since she had last been there, while he ducked into his ensuite to retrieve some towels. She went to his stereo, interested to see what he had been listening to while thinking he had lost her forever. She knew that the music he listened to often reflected his mood, even when he was trying to hide what he was feeling. Boyz II Men. She turned to him to see him looking at her sheepishly.
"I was…you were…" Seth attempted to explain, but Summer shook her head.
"I was listening to this too. I was thinking about you." She smiled a shy half-smile, and he returned it. "I just thought it was funny, coz I had to lie to Zach when he asked me why I was listening to sad songs."
Seth nodded. He knew that she knew he'd never question her choice of music – as long as he didn't have to listen to it. He handed her a towel, and used the one in his hands to dry her hair. "Do you want a shower, or just a change of clothes?"
"Just dry clothes."
Seth went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts that Summer recognised as her own.
"You kept my stuff all this time? Cohen!" She wasn't really mad, he could tell.
"What can I say? I never lost hope for us." Summer had nothing to say to that, so she merely grinned.
Summer joined him at the dresser, and picked out one of his t-shirts to wear. Seth grinned when he saw which one. "I knew you liked Death Cab!"
Summer rolled her eyes, "I don't like them, but I don't hate them either. All the times you made me listen to that CD, I guess they kinda grew on me." She stripped off her shirt and tank top, stunning Seth to speechlessness at the view of her almost-naked upper half before she covered it again with the blue tee. She looked up and saw Seth gawking at her. "It's nothing you haven't seen before – you've actually seen me in way less than just a bra." She shrugged, not embarrassed in the least.
"True, but a) I haven't seen you in just a bra for, like, eight months, and b) last time I saw you topless I couldn't see all your ribs." He lifted the shirt a little and traced his fingers over her protruding ribs. "Zach let you get all skinny. Why haven't you been eating properly?"
Summer pushed his hands away, now embarrassed, "I have been eating properly! I have no intention of looking like Marissa, don't worry." Seth said nothing; simply raised his eyebrows in an action that let her know he understood what she was trying to say.
Summer undid the button fly of her jeans and attempted to pull them off, but soon discovered that wet denim was probably the least acquiescing fabric known to man. "Cohen, help me get these off." She ordered, and was pleasantly surprised when he abandoned his own changing in favor of hers, leaving her with a nice view of his bare chest.
Between the two of them they managed to peel Summer's newly skin-tight jeans off, with Seth again astonished at both the sight and narrowness of her legs. He refrained from commenting though, and merely left her to pull on her shorts while he finished changing.
Once Summer was dressed – complete with thick socks pilfered from Seth's drawer – she poked him in the shoulder and announced, "First one to the family room gets to choose the movie!"
Before Seth could reply she was out the door, and he was left to chase after her with one sock on his foot and one in his hand.
When he arrived in the family room, Summer was on the couch examining three DVD cases – obviously trying to choose which one to watch. Seth silently pulled on his other sock, then bounded over to the couch and tackled Summer. She squealed and laughed as she fell back against the cushions, Seth laughing with her. He was amazed at how easily they had fallen back into the easy camaraderie that had signified their relationship the first time.
As he stared into her coffee-colored eyes, Seth suddenly realised exactly how much he had missed her. The thought subdued his laughter, and he leant down to brush a feather-light kiss across her forehead. "I'm so sorry." He murmured, not knowing how else to apologise for all the hurt he had caused her. He buried his face into her chestnut hair and continued to mumble, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
At his words Summer instantly calmed as well and, wrapping her arms around him, she silently held him as he carried on apologising. She felt the heat of Seth's body atop hers seep through their clothes and into her skin, warming her in a way nothing else could. She revelled in the realisation that she would no longer need to wear layers and layers of clothes in order to keep warm – she had been continuously cold ever since he had sailed away almost eight months ago.
Pushing him away slightly, so she could look into his eyes, Summer opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a call of "Seth?" from the front hall.
Seth and Summer looked at one another for one more moment, before Seth got off her and helped her to her feet. He made his way to the foyer, Summer at his heels.
"Seth, why is th-" Kirsten stopped abruptly when she saw Summer follow Seth out of the hall. "Oh hi, Summer. Do either of you know why there is a taxi in the driveway?"
Summer's hands flew to cover her mouth, "Oh my god, I forgot!" She flew out the door before Kirsten could tell her that Sandy was sorting it out. Seth and his mother followed her to the porch, the three of them standing under cover while Sandy paid the driver and collected Summer's purse and coat.
He led the way back inside, grabbing Kirsten's hand on the way, while Seth and Summer followed more slowly. Once inside, Kirsten and Sandy turned in unison but continued holding hands, and Summer smiled at the obvious display of affection while Seth wrinkled his nose. "So, Summer, not to be rude, but why are you here? I thought you were going to Italy with Zach?" Sandy asked.
Summer shrugged, "I got as far as the gate." Sandy and Kirsten wore matching confused looks, so she elaborated, "Our plane was delayed because of the weather, and…something helped me realise what I was doing. I had been using Zach to try and get over Cohen-Seth, but I was in denial about my feelings for Seth. I couldn't go."
Seth's parents nodded in understanding, "I'm glad." Kirsten said, "I mean, not that you were in denial, or that you broke up with Zach, but I'm glad that you realised in time and you two are back together…you are back together right? I really hope so, coz I've been missing having another girl around the house; things between me and Lindsay are still kinda weird, so she doesn't come around all that often, and Mari-" Sandy clapped a hand over Kirsten's mouth, making Summer smile. So Cohen got his rambling from his mom, not his dad…interesting.
"I think we get the picture, mom." Seth commented dryly, amused at his mother but not-at-all pleased with the constant displays of affection between his parents, who were now openly hugging.
"Kay, we're just gonna go…we're just gonna go to our room." Sandy said, pulling Kirsten up the hallway towards their ground floor master bedroom. She hugged him from behind as they walked, Sandy calling back to the teenagers, "don't stay up too late."
"Ew." Seth said in disgust, disturbed by both the implication and the mental images his parents had just given them. "That's just…ew."
Summer rolled her eyes. "OK, you have been spending waaay too much time around me, you're picking up my words. And besides, it's cute." She gestured the way his parents had gone.
"It is not cute! Cute is a little boy holding hands with a girl, not your parents showing off the fact that they're gonna have sex."
Summer shook her head and grabbed his hand, leading him back towards the family room as she spoke, "It is cute that your parents obviously still love each other enough to show off their love. Just be glad that your parents make up after they fight." Her voice grew small towards the end, and Seth realised that, compared to Summer's parents, his parents were great – even if they had scarred him for life with their constant need to make out all over the house.
He stopped just before they reached the couch, pulling her to stand in front of him. Without shoes on she barely came up to his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, thanking Jesus and Moses that he was finally able to do so again without fear of death. She pressed her cheek into his shoulder, draping her own arms around his waist.
"Summer?"
"Hmm?" She moved her head from his body, looking up into his bottomless brown depths.
"I l-"
"Don't."
Seth closed his mouth and blinked at her. She managed a weak smile and returned the look of love in his eyes. They didn't need to speak the words, and for that Summer was thankful. It was just them – they knew what the other was thinking without words being exchanged. She knew that he loved her, and he knew that, while she did love him, she wasn't ready to hear the words out loud. Sure he'd said them once before, but that was in an effort to get her back and, while he meant it as much now as he had then, this time the words would mean everything to her.
She placed a hand on his neck and pulled his lips down to meet hers. It was the third kiss they had shared since getting back together, and it was the most tender of the three. Seth was trying to physically show his love for her, and Summer was doing the same.
Finally breaking the kiss, she pushed him down onto the couch and collapsed on top of him. They arranged themselves so Summer was stretched over the length of the couch, her head in Seth's lap. He threaded his fingers through her hair, playing with it, and they sat in silence for a few moments. Summer reflected on yet another difference between her relationships with Seth and Zach; there were no awkward silences with Seth; they could sit for hours, ok maybe not hours, coz there's no way Cohen could stay silent for a whole hour, but at least a half hour, doing nothing but thinking, and there nothing uncomfortable about it. Seth was almost always the one to break the silence, not being able to stand another second without telling her how much he appreciated her or how beautiful she was – comments that always made her blush.
This time it was Summer who broke the silence. "Cohen?"
"Yeah Summer?"
"With Zach…it was nothing like what we had-have." Her words were simple and Seth knew exactly what she meant, but she continued anyway, "It was more like he was just…there, especially in the beginning…it's part of why I was so freaked out when he wanted to celebrate our six-month anniversary – I never thought of him as my 'boyfriend' until I told you he was. We never just 'hung out'; we always had to be doing something specific, and we never bickered like the two of us do…and we both know how much fun that is." She grinned seductively, eyes telling Seth exactly what she meant by 'fun'. She would have continued, but Seth silenced her with a kiss.
"Summer I don't need to hear about how you and I are different from you and Zach. All that matters if that you are with whoever you want to be with. And while I'd really really really like that person to be me, I'll try to stay out of it if you decide you're not ready for us to be together again."
Seth's hands stilled in her hair, and she tilted her head to look up at him, to find that he was looking down at her with pleading eyes. "Cohen," she began, turning and sitting up so they were face-to-face. "I want to be with you." She kissed him gently, once, twice, three times, then lay her head on his shoulder, wrapping one arm around him and leaning into his touch. His hand drifted from her hair to her waist, pushing her t-shirt up slightly and tracing circles on the skin of her hip.
Summer thought back to the airport, before she had broken up with Zach
FLAHSBACK
The kid with the horse and comics looked exactly like the son she and Seth had in her fantasies. The thought scared her, because she had been with Zach for almost twice as long as she had been officially dating Seth, yet she had never had any kind of similar thoughts about her future with Zach. It was like she always knew that she and Zach wouldn't last.
And then all the doubts she had about going to Italy came rushing back. Summer had only ever met Zach's family once, and she hadn't exactly made a great impression, yet there she was, flying to Italy to be a bridesmaid at Abigail's wedding. The thought brought Seth's parents to mind; they had always welcomed her – especially after Seth left on his boat – and had never made judgements about the less-than-brilliantly-witty comments she occasionally made. Sandy and Kirsten had never made her feel stupid, intentionally or otherwise.
"…coming?" Zach's voice broke into Summer's thoughts. She looked up, and he wasn't Seth. It was as simple as that. She knew at that moment that she couldn't lie to herself anymore. She wanted to be with Seth.
"I can't do it." She said, fighting back tears. It seemed strange to her that she was growing teary – she didn't want to be with Zach, so she should have no qualms about breaking up with him. But the reality was that she really didn't want to hurt him either.
The look on Zach's face when he saw the kid told Summer everything she needed to know. He had never expected her to actually get on the plane with him…he knew that Summer would, someway or another, find an excuse not to go. And while she could see it in his eyes that he was hurt she was leaving him specifically for Seth, he wasn't surprised.
"You can't fight fate." He said, and Summer realised Zach had seen it coming for a while now – apparently the only one who hadn't seen it coming was Summer herself.
She kissed him gently, both to reassure him she didn't hate him, and to prove to herself that she was making the right choice. Their lips pressed together awkwardly, and his tasted wrong. She pulled away and wiped her lipgloss of his bottom lip, not wanting him to have even more painful memories of her.
Summer looked into his eyes once more, then let her eyes drift away from his as she moved past him. She ran to the security check, not wanting to waste anymore time without Seth.
END FLASHBACK
And now that she was being honest with herself, she realised that she had forgiven Seth for leaving a long time ago, she just hadn't been willing to let him know that.
"I forgive you." The words were said so quietly that Seth almost missed them.
"Summer?"
"I forgive you," She repeated, teary brown eyes meeting his. "But if you ever leave me like that again…" The threat went unfinished, but they both knew what she meant. He would get no third chance, even if it would break her heart to stay away.
"I'll never leave you." He kissed her softly, and held her tighter, as if to reassure her. And it did, to an extent. She buried her face in his chest and breathed in his fresh, clean scent. She had missed him. Missed this.
"Can I stay here tonight?" Summer asked, words muffled by the fabric of his shirt. She felt him stiffen, and looked up questioningly.
Seth hesitated, wondering how to explain himself, "I…Um…" Her eyes were growing teary, and he quickly blurted out the explanation that hadn't even made sense in his head, "I don't want us to start 'reloaded' the same way we started the original." Her face was still confused, eyes still sad, so he continued, "I don't want our relationship to be based on sex this time. We've both changed – grown up – and we shouldn't go back to exactly the way we were just because we're back together. Not that I don't want you – god no – but last time we were together all of two minutes before we had sex, and look how that turned out."
Summer's eyes cleared, and she smiled, "You're refusing me?" She asked teasingly, knowing that he had a very hard time doing so when she decided to pursue it.
"Believe me it's not easy." He responded, hands tracing a path across her stomach that made her believe what he was saying.
"How slow do you wanna take it?" She pulled his hand out from under her shirt; if he continued she could not be held accountable for her actions. It was amazing that he knew exactly how and where to touch her to get her all riled up. Then again, they had learned what they liked in the arms of one another; it made sense that he knew she was extremely ticklish along her collarbone, and that she knew he melted when she traced a finger along his pelvis. It was another thing that had annoyed her with Zach – he constantly wanted to kiss her neck and shoulder despite her telling him multiple times that she didn't like it. The same thing had irritated Seth with Alex – she had gone straight for the prize, ignoring pretty much everything between his head and…well, his other head.
"Tomorrow's fine."
"Thank god, coz I'm going stir-crazy sitting here trying not to touch you." Technically they were touching, but he knew what she meant.
"Who said you couldn't touch me?" He was playing with fire now; they both knew that if they started they wouldn't be able to stop. It had always been that way with them; kissing was fine, they could make out for hours as long as hands didn't stray too far, but once they did there was no stopping…even parental interruptions, embarrassing though they were, didn't stop them from finishing what they had started.
She merely gave him a look that told him exactly what she was thinking, and pulled his hand off her thigh, where it had migrated after being denied access to her stomach. "I'm not that easy, Cohen, did you really think I'd come her and sleep with you on the first night we got back together?"
He returned her look, "Oh? Well refresh my memory, who was pushing whom onto the bed the first time we got together?"
She couldn't refute that, so merely smacked his again-wandering hand. "What I meant was, when I asked if I could stay, I just want you to hold me tonight. I've been cold for so long, I need to be warm." Her smile turned wicked, "And besides, if I stay, tomorrow is going to come that much sooner…"
Seth grinned back, and leaned forward to kiss her, making sure to keep his hands on top of her clothes this time. Summer kissed him back, falling back onto the cushions and pulling Seth on top of her. She moved her hands to his hair, letting her fingers slip through his curls – shorter than she remembered, but still amazingly cute.
Pulling back to breathe, Seth looked at her and exhaled loudly in amazement. "You're more beautiful than I remembered," He breathed, moving a strand of hair away from her face.
"It's not like you haven't seen me regularly, even when I was with him." Summer replied, careful not to completely shatter the moment by bringing up Zach.
"Not like this," Seth answered, taking in her slightly flushed face, messy hair and lips swollen from his kiss. He felt her chest heaving under his, and knew he had to get off her before he broke his self-induced celibacy. He pecked her once more before moving to sit upright. She followed, settling against him once again and reaching for the remote.
"Do you want to watch TV here or upstairs?" She asked, motioning towards the stairs with the remote in her hand.
"Upstairs, as long as you promise you'll behave yourself."
"I make no promises." Summer smiled mischievously, pulling Seth to his feet. He shot her a look and she relented, "Fine. I promise not to ravage you while you sleep." He rolled his eyes at her bluntness, but moved with her towards the stairs, plucking the remote from her fingers and tossing it back onto the couch. "But once you wake up all bets are off!" Summer's laugher echoed through the house, along with Seth's footsteps as he chased her up the stairs.
THE END
So what did you think? I know this has been done, but there were a couple of things I wanted to show my opinion of. Sorry for the delay, but here in Australia 2.14 has only just been shown (last night actually), and even though I did read the episode guide on the official site I hadn't seen the whole ep so…
And yes, the third chapter of Seceding Link is in the works, along with a couple other one-shots…S/S being officially together in Australia has fixed my writer's block!
Oh, and the title was Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson, since that inspired meto write the beginning of this fic- awesome song, listen to it!